The Bucket is not on my Bucket List

Now that I’m a Northerner, I continually learn new things about winter-related problems.

I moved 300 miles north from Miami, to a farm on the tundra near Ocala. In my 4.5 years here, we have had at least 5 days of freezing weather. Okay, 5 days containing at least an hour of freezing weather. Whatever.

The first time it hit, it killed a bunch of ornamental plants. I could not believe the previous owners had paid good money for plants that had to be pampered, so I said, “good riddance.” I never replaced them. I’m not going to run outside with a stack of old sheets every time the thermometer dips.

Two days ago, they told us the weather would get cold, and I paid no attention at all. I figured anything 27° could kill or damage wasn’t worth having.

The power company sent me texts saying I would be entered in a prize drawing if I responded with a photo of my thermostat set at 65°. They were trying to get people to reduce the load on the grid. Naturally, I complied. Then I put the temperature back on 75° where it belonged. They didn’t say I had to LEAVE it at 65°. That law school education keeps paying off.

No, I didn’t really do that. I just considered it a reminder to use both sides of the electric blanket later on.

It was my civic duty. If the power people are failing to maintain an adequate grid, they don’t need customers enabling them. They need to feel some pressure so they build up the system. Sure, I got a little hot during the night, and I had to roll back the covers so the sweat could evaporate, but that’s okay. A man’s got to do what he’s got to do.

This morning when I got up, things seemed fine. I have towels I put on furniture in case Marvin feels like pooping, so I threw a bunch in the washer with bleach. Then I made breakfast. After breakfast, I tried to use the kitchen faucet, and nothing came out. I checked the washer. The wash cycle had run, and the water had been pumped out, but the towels were sitting in the bottom of the tub doing nothing because no new water could come in.

I had frozen up my water system at 27°. I hadn’t known it was possible. I realize water freezes at 32°. Nothing gets past me. But my water pumps are deep below ground, the pipes by the house pump are generally insulated, and the pressure tank is large, so there is no way it can freeze up during a short frost.

It turned out the pressure switch was the problem. It has 1/4″ tubing connecting it to the system, and the tubing has no insulation because Florida. The tubing froze up fast, so the pressure switch did not work. The water I ran earlier in the morning came from the reserve in the pressure tank.

This serves to remind me why I have so much contempt for engineers and people who build things. The water system has 2″ pipes which will never, ever freeze, and they’re covered with insulation. It has 1/4″ tubes which will definitely freeze and shut down the system, and they’re naked as jaybirds.

It also serves to remind me I need to put poison out for the squirrels. Shooting is too slow. They ate part of the pipe insulation.

After an hour or so above 32°, the water came back on, and all I had to do was open a tap and let the rust out. It always gets rusty when the system goes on and off.

What a relief. I had been worried about the pressure tank. I thought maybe there was something in there that could be harmed by a quick freeze. Something expensive that couldn’t be fixed on a Sunday.

It was scary, thinking I only had 5 flushes remaining between me and the inevitable Home Depot bucket. I had oatmeal and hot cocoa for breakfast, and well, you know how that works.

Thank God that’s over. Think I’ll go relax in the living room, which is currently at a bone-chilling 73°. Hey, I wonder if my heat pump can break a hundred. Think I’ll go find out.