Now we Just Need to Change the First Five Letters of “Christmas”

Yesterday I closed a blog post by expressing my pessimism about the surprises the news would bring. I didn’t have to wait long. Chick-Fil-A just put out a Christmas video that has nothing to do with Jesus.

All you leftists who boycott Chick-fil-A and run it out of your cities: stand down. You won. You can welcome Chick-fil-A without worrying about compromising your wokeness. Enjoy those fried sandwiches which are almost as good as Popeyes. Chick-fil-A has surrendered.

Not only is the video all wokened; it features magic, which is something Christians aren’t supposed to go near.

How is it woke? I will tell you.

It has six speaking characters. Three are black, two look like Mexicans, and the last one is ambiguous. He has dark hair and brown eyes. No one in the video has blue or green eyes. I’m not sure why they didn’t put an Asian in there. Maybe next year?

Of course, Asians don’t get much respect from wokiees. When it comes to affirmative action, Asians are discriminated against just like white people. Worse, actually. If they weren’t, Harvard would look the the set of Enter the Dragon. In some ways, Asians could be said to be hyper-whites.

In the video, we see a family that has two black parents, one black kid, and what appears to be a Mexican kid. They’re decorating the Christmas tree, which has no Christian ornaments on it. Dad is outside hanging lights. If I were a black man and one of my daughters looked Mexican, I wouldn’t get that far away from mom.

The kids appear to be the same age. If your wife has twins of different races, either you married the wrong lady or your sperm bank owes you an explanation.

An ornament is broken. The kids are swept away to a mystical kitchen where a Willy Wonka figure repairs things. He repairs the ornament by magic. It started out egg-shaped. Wokiee Wonka helps them turn it into a misshapen fried egg, with what appears to be a pagan sun-worship symbol in the center.

Apart from proving Chick-fil-A isn’t really a Christian company, which informed Christians already knew, it’s hard to see what the point of the video is. “If you break your Christmas ornaments, weird supernatural beings will fix them, so have a great Christmas”?

Maybe the message is that after the ewokes destroy the egg that is civilization, they will fry it and turn it into a delicious breakfast item, proving chaos is better than order.

Watching the disintegration of civilization is like sitting in a boat off the coast of Antarctica, watching icebergs calve. “There goes a big one! Here come two more! There go the Boy Scouts! Oops, the national anthem is gone! Wow, the pope endorsed same-sex civil unions!”

I don’t think it’s possible to have a large Christian corporation any more, unless it’s primarily dedicated to religion. Once a company reaches a certain size, it becomes subject to federal laws that turn religion into a major problem. Even religious corporations are in trouble; leftists have pushed to end “discrimination” against gays in ministry positions. Imagine your church having to fight a lawsuit from a male youth pastor who marches in pride parades in a bottomless police costume.

I don’t like what Chick-fil-A has done, but the alternative to caving in is probably dissolution.

We’re playing musical woke chairs, and the number of chairs is getting really small.

Chick-fil-A won’t allow comments on the video. They know nothing good could come of it.