Humility Solves Pest Problem

Just blasted a squirrel from the front porch. KERBLOOIE! Lights out, just like that. No .22 kicking and scratching. No guilt.

For the longest time, I’ve had problems killing squirrels quickly with .22 rifles, but I hated using a shotgun because it’s like using a mop to put ketchup on a French fry. No sport. Tonight, I gave in.

People kept telling me I couldn’t shoot! My last 100-yard 6.5mm Creedmoor target had 5 groups. Four were 5 shots each, and one was two shots. The two shot group was the biggest at under 5/8″. PLEASE do not tell me my shooting is the problem. I once shot a squirrel three times in the head, and I had to put one more in him to finish him off. Squirrels are not rabbits or birds. They do not roll over and die easily.

Maybe red squirrels are weak. Maybe the gray squirrels in your area are wimps. Here, you just can’t kill grays hard enough. They are tougher than Terminators on PCP.

I once shot a squirrel that had three legs. Someone else had shot it first, or an animal had torn a front leg off, and the squirrel had escaped, continued to feed and climb trees, heal, and mate. I had to shoot it more than once, myself. I have no patience with the people who say every squirrel they pop with a .22 dies instantly.

The other day, I thought maybe I should start using a shotgun, so I looked for #6 shot for my 16 gauge. I was shocked to see how little there was out there. The industry started starving the 16 gauge a long time ago, and the shortages made things worse. There was very little #6, most of it was overpriced badly, and some vendors were limiting buyers to two boxes. TWO BOXES, with UPS shipping added.

I decided to look at 20 gauge guns. Maybe it was time to get a squirrel gun in a more popular gauge.

I know almost nothing about hunting shotguns because my dad quit hunting before I was born and decided it was better to spend every waking hour in front of the TV. I started making Google searches like “best 20 gauge shotgun.” I had to start somewhere.

It had to be semiauto. This is 2021, and paying semiauto prices for primitive one- or two-shot firearms is idiotic.

I figured I would be looking at $700 for something nice. That isn’t what popped up. I saw Benelli and some other brands. Upwards of $2000. What? Don’t people shoot Remingtons any more?

I saw a Turkish brand: Retay. It was getting great reviews, and it was a lot cheaper than Benelli. The Turks make very good guns, not just for the money, but good, period. I’m sure it’s good enough for me, and I’m also sure I don’t want to spend $2500.

I found out the 20 gauge was around a grand, and the 12 gauge was not that much more. I thought, “Why buy a 20 gauge that will only kill birds and squirrels when I can go big and kill everything?”

I’m pretty sure my grandfather killed birds with a Remington 1100 and the Browning Sweet Sixteen I now have. I don’t know if the 1100 is any good or not, and it looks like Remington’s inept management has made it impossible for me to get one, so that model is out.

While I was thinking about the Retay, I found an acceptable deal on 16 gauge shells, so the new purchase was put on hold. Although I should still do it, because gun.

It is because I was able to secure a few shells that I lost my fear of shooting the Sweet Sixteen, so when I saw a squirrel tonight while I was talking on the phone, I was ready. Using Bluetooth to keep the conversation going, I stuffed 4 shells into the Browning, and when I was free, outside I went.

I filled the bird feeder yesterday. Not because I love birds. I knew what it would attract. While I was on the phone, I saw a big, fat, white belly facing me from beneath the feeder. An insolent rodent was chomping away, looking me right in the face.

He vanished during my conversation, but he returned, and when I went outside later, he was in the same spot. I aimed, pulled the trigger, released the safety, and pulled the trigger again. I have to work on that. BAM! Squirrel down! He had a buddy behind him, and the buddy took off and ran to the base of a tree. I couldn’t see him clearly, so I gave him a temporary reprieve, but next time, I’m going to shoot everything out there, even if it’s on the run.

I left him to rot. He’ll be gone tomorrow. He’s probably gone now.

I should have put the rifles away long ago. They just don’t work. You can’t shoot at anything above the horizon. You can shoot half a squirrel’s head off without killing him. You will find yourself watching wounded squirrels run off, time after time. Rifles are way more fun than shotguns, and using a shotgun makes me feel like a woman, but something has to be done about these rodents.

Rifles are great from a rest, when you have time to aim well and you don’t care whether kill anything or not. The rest of the time, a rifle is the wrong choice.

I’m thinking I should get a good hunting 12 gauge. I have never had one. I can get the gun, a big supply of bird shells, and a big supply of squirrel shells. Then I can relax, knowing all my hunting bases are covered. Maybe they’re covered now, with the 16 gauge, but I’m not sure.

I’m all set for 12 gauge buck. No worries there.

For the rest of the season, I’m going to kill squirrels like Democrats think ivermectin kills Trump supporters. The insanity of tolerating these creatures has to stop.