Negotiating the Pre-Travel Obstacle Course

I am wiped out. I haven’t done anything but work on travel plans today.

It’s a shame countries and airlines don’t do a better job of laying things out for travelers. It would be simple to post comprehensive lists of entry requirements, but instead, you see one rule here and another rule there. Surprises keep popping up just when you think you’ve got things covered.

Today I found out Rhodah and I have to fill out health certificates before we enter Turkey. That was news. I found a Turkish site and filled out the forms, but they require you to do it right before you travel, so today’s forms will not be acceptable. I filled them out just so I would have the required information handy when I have to do the job over.

What do the forms say? Nothing, really. They tell who we are and which hotel we’re using. Not sure why this is helpful. I’m also not sure why these forms can’t be filled out at the Istanbul airport. I’ll bet they can.

I had a scare over Rhodah’s tickets. She is required to use an approved Turkish air carrier when she arrives, and I had her coming into Istanbul on Turkish Airlines. Today I realized she would actually enter Turkey on another airline and then switch to Turkish Airlines for a final leg to Istanbul. I thought I was going to have to cancel her flight and mine and go through the horror of trying to find new bookings that worked. That would have sent well over a thousand dollars down the chute.

I called Turkish Airlines, and they told me there was no problem. What matters is where she goes through immigration, not where she physically enters.

I have had excellent experiences with Turkish phone and email help. The Turkish government responds in minutes, and they are extremely polite. Turkish Airlines will put you on the horn with a very capable non-Indian human being in a few seconds, and their reps actually know the answers to the questions you ask. I don’t know why Americans make support such a bad experience.

Sometimes I want to find the lady who recorded all the American phone system messages that lead me in circles and give her a piece of my mind. You know her. “For English, press ONE.” She must have hung up on me ten thousand times.

You can actually see her on Youtube. It’s almost scary hearing that hateful voice coming out of a real human being. Her name is Elita Bradley.

I really hate talking to machines. I didn’t realize that until today, when I considered the issue. Being forced to talk to a machine is degrading. It tells you you’re not important enough to talk to a human being. It tells you no one cares about your problems, even when you’re paying their bills. Often, machines tell you there is literally no way to make yourself heard or stand up for yourself. It is disempowering.

When I got the arrival question answered, I moved on to another crisis. My airline has suddenly decided to impose draconian mask rules. More degrading than mask rules were to begin with. I have to wear a real mask or something that looks like one. They require N95, KN95, FFP2, or surgical masks. Last time I flew, I bought special flimsy masks that don’t work, so I could fly with as little breathing resistance as possible. I must have spent an hour and a half today, trying to find something new that would pass muster with the COVID Luftwaffe. I came up with a couple of things, but I think I’m in for an unpleasant flight to Istanbul.

I had to look at every layover location and make sure neither of us needed transit visas. I confirmed it. I wrote a long document containing that information, along with flight details and other important facts. I listed the contact numbers for all of the airlines. I listed the hotel’s address. I found out how we could get COVID tests before leaving, and I included the URL of a company that will test us at our hotel.

Neither of us has to be tested on the way to Turkey, but both of us have to be tested on the way home. Rhodah has to take a real test. The USA will let me get by with a quick antigen test. Should I do it? Antigen tests are fast, and they have the benefit of generating more false negatives. A false negative could prevent me from being trapped in Turkey. I don’t want to spread coronavirus, though.

I’m so used to resisting hysterical anti-COVID measures, resistance is my natural response. I have to remember not to resist measures that have some basis in reality.

I had to find out how to get us our tickets and boarding passes. This is a confusing area now. Near as I can tell, some airlines don’t provide tickets. They send receipts, and you can check in and get boarding passes a few days before your flight takes off, but they don’t send you anything that says “e-ticket” at the top.

Remember when you could call an airline and make a reservation without paying for it? Remember when they would mail you real tickets long before your trip? Yeah, I do, too. I remember having stewardesses tell me it was fine for kids like me to bring their pocket knives onboard.

I did all this stuff, and then I found out Turkey had just put out a new list of coronavirus restrictions. I mean within the last two weeks. The restrictions are very bad. People have to have PCR tests to travel between cities, go to crowded events, and so on.

I was pretty upset. We would have had to take at least three tests each, and what if either of us had failed one?

Then I saw this, on our State Department’s Turkey page: “The COVID-19 related restrictions apply to all citizens and residents of Turkey. Tourists are exempt from COVID-19 restrictions.”

Thank God for that.

I think I can relax now. My hope is that no new landmines will go off before the trip. I’m extremely glad we can go to Turkey without being tested. I would rather be stuck in Turkey in a nice hotel with Rhodah than stuck here without her.