One More Thing I Shouldn’t be Making

The maple cream candy I made yesterday is doing what it’s supposed to. It’s turning soft and crumbly. It tastes fantastic. May be the best candy I’ve ever had.

In case anyone wants to try it, I’ll give the recipe.

INGREDIENTS

1-1/2 cups maple syrup (not fake maple)
1/2 cup heavy cream
1/4 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. vanilla

Dump the syrup and salt in a deep saucepan. It will bubble up, so you don’t want a shallow pan. Heat until it boils gently. Add the cream slowly. You don’t have to stir it.

You can add the vanilla at the start, or if you’re afraid boiling will hurt it, you can drizzle it on the candy right before you pull it. Pulling will work it into the candy.

Boil the mixture until it hits 260°. When you start getting close to the final temperature, get a pan ready to chill the candy. Put several teaspoons in the pan, concave side down. Fill the pan with ice and water, a little deeper than the height of the spoons. Butter a smaller pan.

When the candy is ready, put the small pan in the big pan and pour the candy into it. When the candy is cold enough to remove with your hands, remove it and form it into a long rod. Stretch the rod, fold it, and stretch it again. You want to do this for about 5 minutes. The candy will develop a satiny look.

Stretch the candy until it’s thin enough to make pieces of a convenient size. Cut it into small pieces with shears. Set it aside until it “creams,” meaning until it turns soft and chalky. This may take a whole day.

You should be able to use any flavoring you like. You could buy menthol crystals and make peppermint candy. You would need to use table sugar instead of syrup. A cup of sugar is about equivalent to 3/4 cup syrup.

I want to make this candy with Jack Daniel’s and cover the pieces with chocolate. My relatives would freak out. Cream candy is a big deal in Eastern Kentucky, and so are bourbon balls, but no one combines them, and all the bourbon balls I’ve had were made pretty badly.

Let me know if you try this stuff.

In other news, I decided to try Popeye’s spicy chicken sandwich today. I read a roundup of fast food chicken sandwiches, and Popeye’s came out on top. They beat Chick-fil-A. I found that hard to believe, but I found it easy to believe that our anti-Christian, pro-homosexuality press would lie, so I had to find out the truth.

I went to a nearby Popeye’s. Let’s just say it was different.

At Chick-fil-A, they have long lines of cars, and they have courteous kids outside taking orders and directing traffic. I was the fifth car in line at Popeye’s. After about 10 minutes of sitting still, I went inside. I ended up getting my food before people who arrived earlier than I did.

One of the things I noticed was that one of the employees was wearing what appeared to be fishnet-panel yoga pants. Another employee was on the phone in the dining area. A third employee was using a table to do the books.

The place was filthy. I was nervous about eating the food. A bunch of employees were bustling around busily, and one was mopping, but I didn’t see anything fresh coming out of the fryers. The chicken was piled up under lights, and there was a small clump of fries in one small corner of the fry area.

I ordered a spicy chicken combo with “Cajun” fries and a lemonade.

Chick-fil-A makes fresh lemonade all the time. They use water, lemons, and sugar. The Popeye’s lady gave me a cup and a straw, and I made my way to the dispensing machine. I wondered about bacteria in the ice. They serve Minute Maid “lemonade,” and the tag on the tap said, “0% JUICE.”

If it doesn’t have lemon juice in it, how can it be lemonade?

Chick-fil-A is always spotless, and they put little vases with fresh flowers on the tables. It’s also crowded. No other customers showed up inside Popeye’s while I was there.

I took my food and drove home, wondering if I should eat it.

When I got home, I found that the chicken and fries were only slightly warm. I ate my food, drank half the drink, and threw the rest out.

My surprising verdict is this: I would definitely eat Popeye’s chicken sandwiches from now on, IF they did a few things. They need to train their employees, clean the restaurant, put something other than pickles and sauce on the sandwiches, and sell real lemonade, even if it’s prepackaged.

The sandwich was beautifully spiced. Unfortunately, it was lukewarm, and it wasn’t juicy. There was no lettuce on it. There was no cheese on it. There was no tomato. Just sauce and pickles. If Chick-fil-A used Popeye’s seasoning along with their cheese, sauce, and vegetables, their sandwiches would be even more popular than they are now. The difference would only be like 10%, though.

I put “Cajun” in quotation marks when mentioning the fries, because there was nothing Cajun about them. Cajun seasoning is required on “Cajun” fries, and Popeye’s didn’t apply any.

Because Chick-fil-A is clean and otherwise properly managed, and Popeye’s is not, Chick-fil-A still wins. Like I always say: I would say the people at Chick-fil-A treat me like family, but my relatives don’t treat me that well.

For me, Chick-fil-A is not a practical option. I visit rarely because it’s so popular. They rush you through the long lines, but it still takes a while to get food. Also, the nearest Chick-fil-A is a long way from my house.

Chick-fil-A doesn’t expand quickly, possibly because they pay their owner/managers squat, so I don’t think things will improve for me soon.

There is another Popeye’s near me. Maybe I’ll try it, but it’s so close, it may be owned by the same lame franchisee who owns the one I visited today.

Anyway, it may well be that the people who rank Popeye’s sandwiches above Chick-fil-A are right, provided their conclusion is limited to Popeye’s locations that aren’t run by lazy bums.