Supernatural Loser Invades my House

Night before last, I had a supernatural experience. I woke up, and I saw a fat man sitting beside me on the bed. His back was toward me. I didn’t see his head. He had poor posture, as though he had given up on life, and there were little green tattoos all over him, spaced out the way you might see decorations on wallpaper.

He didn’t disappear until a second or so after I woke. I cursed him and told him to leave, in Jesus’ name, and as I did so, he vanished.

You may claim I saw him because I was still dreaming. Sorry; that won’t wash. I’ve seen other spirits on waking up. I’ve never seen one that had been in my dream while I was still asleep. If I woke up and continued dreaming, I would see whatever I had been dreaming of. My mind isn’t capable of making new scenes up instantaneously.

I have asked God what the spirit represented, and I think God showed me it was a spirit of self-condemnation and rejection. It was a picture of what Satan wanted me, and others, to think I was.

That would make sense. When I was very young, I was not self-conscious or overly critical of myself. I wasn’t shy. I used to hold out my arms to strangers, trying to get them to pick me up. My dad and my sister used to make fun of me, though, and eventually, I internalized it and couldn’t stop doing it. I believe that means the demon took up residence in me. Demons manifest as habits.

My sister has a sick desire to exclude me from society. Even when I was in my 40’s, it enraged her when I sat in the front seat of a car. She is very short, but she always wanted the front seat. When we were young, and we were around other kids, she would make up nasty names for me and get the other kids to use them. She continued doing this into her thirties, trying to turn adults against me. When the family got together at my grandparents’ house for special occasions, there was always an adult table and a table for the kids, and she would get angry when I sat at the adult table, even when we were just about grown.

My dad came home from a business trip, and he brought us gifts. My sister started crying. She said, “You gave Steve two gifts, and you only gave me three!”

I developed the feeling that I was a habitual outsider, and that people didn’t want me around. I felt that girls could not be attracted to me. I was embarrassed to be myself around people.

A spirit of self-condemnation is a spirit of murder that works on the person who carries it. My sister’s spirit of murder was directed at me, but mine was directed at myself. I have never been suicidal, but the spirit did what it could. I was depressed for just about all of my first three decades.

When you condemn yourself, you may start condemning others, too. I eventually started doing that. My sister has never condemned herself. She is not capable of self-criticism. It’s an amazing thing. She has threatened suicide too many times to remember, but she has never even made a sham attempt. Not once.

I believe the tattoos on the spirit represented the law of rejection Satan imposed on me. Habits are internal laws. A tattoo is a Satanic counterfeit of the Torah, which is God’s law. The Torah is written on the outsides of ritually clean animals. Tattoos are placed on the outsides of people. Under the Jewish law, a person is not supposed to have tattoos.

I believe the person on the bed was supposed to look like me, and the tattoos were like little beacons, informing spirits that control other people that I was supposed to be rejected. When you ship a package, you may put stickers on it, and those stickers represent laws. “Handle with Care.” “This end up.” The tattoos on the spirit were the stickers Satan wants to put on me. They were handling and routing instructions. They were curses.

I still have a habit of feeling rejected, but it’s nothing like it used to be. I think God showed me I need to get rid of the rest of it. It’s possible to have a demon who isn’t strong enough to do his job.

Many Christians are people the world has rejected. It makes sense, based on my experience with my sister. She was a horrible child everyone spoiled, and when I came along, I looked great in comparison. She was jealous. Satan was a pampered prince who could do no wrong, but he fell from grace and turned out to be a worthless loser no one could stand. Now God loves human beings with the love he used to give Satan, and Satan wants those human beings who belong to God to be rejected and erased. He’s like a jilted girlfriend who shows up at a man’s house after gaining fifty pounds and tries to shoot his new wife.

Satan decides whom the world will reject, because most people belong to him and work for him. He also decides whom the world exalts. This is why the Jews killed their own prophets but Kim Kardashian receives several million dollars each time she tweets.

If the world loves you, you have a very serious problem, and you’re probably going to hell. The most dangerous preachers among those who work for Satan are the ones with the most money and the biggest churches.

There is always symmetry in the supernatural. Satan and his doomed children reject me, but while Jesus was with me during his visits, I knew I was completed accepted and that my future was assured. Nothing could touch me. Love, joy, and peace poured through me. Satan used to feel that all the time when he hovered above God’s throne, but now it’s for me, and he will never feel it again.

The closer you get to God, the more rejected you will be, and you will find that the people who reject you are also closer to God. Nominal Christians reject serious Christians. Serious Christians who don’t hear from the Holy Spirit reject Spirit-led Christians. It’s as though you’re climbing a ladder, and everyone on the rungs below you rejects you.

The body of Satan is like a human body. It has an immune system that tries to kill and expel anything foreign. As it does this to you, it can push you closer and closer to God, so it’s a good thing. It would be catastrophic to fall in love with this life and want it to last forever. You’d be like 62-year-old Madonna, who works out constantly, struggles to maintain her appearance, and continually shows her wrinkled body to adults who weren’t even born in 1998 when she hit middle age.

Madonna started making singles in 1983, 38 years ago, so the youngest people who listened to her at the start would be about 50 now. She is still bleaching her hair and dressing like a confused teenager. People like that have no motivation to change. What celebrity wants to start the next life as a regular person with no private jet, no fortune, no paparazzi, and no adoration?

My sister was a 7 when she was young, and she made the most of it. She ran around with men other shallow women wanted, and she was cruel to young people who weren’t glamorous. By the time she was 30, she was a 5, and the alpha men hadn’t been part of her life for years. She continued to describe herself as beautiful and alluring, even claiming other women saw her as a threat as she descended into the 4 and 3 categories. She wouldn’t let herself see what everyone else saw.

Peaking early, and being treated like you’re a bigger deal than you actually are, can really warp your mind. It’s what ruined Satan.

Spirits are real. If they were not, God, who is a spirit, would not exist. Ignoring them has had disastrous consequences for the church. It’s as though we were on a battlefield, and we decided the enemy’s soldiers were imaginary. We put down our arms, but the spirits have never stopped fighting and killing us.

I need to do more. I need to cast things out more often, and I need to keep closing doors to them and to stop feeding them. There is no point in associating with trashy, futureless beings who will never again go where I’m going.