Charlie Don’t Mulch

All hail ME.

I have poisoned as much of my St. Augustine grass as possible, without risking giant patches of bare dirt. I have re-established the ant poison perimeter. I have obtained a machete, the need for which I should not have to explain. And I am about to fertilize.

I also took a look at rotary hammers while I was at Home Depot. They kind of scared me. I have ordered a rotary hammer. I chose it because it was in the price gap between my cordless hammer drill and a full-throttle demo hammer. There were smaller rotary hammers that were very close in price to my existing tool, and I figured it was stupid to get something so similar to it. For about fifty bucks more, I found a nicer, bigger one which has gotten rave reviews. Then I went to Home Depot and checked out some Bosch models which cost less than the Makita I ordered and which should therefore be smaller. And they were quite huge. In fact, they were not a whole lot smaller than the giant Hitachi demo hammer I rented last year to bust concrete slugs. So now I’m wondering what kind of monster tool I ordered. I mean, I’m hoping to use this thing to drill a bunch of 1/4″ holes this month. That may be like using a shovel to stir a martini.

I don’t care! Tools are almost always a good deal, compared to hiring idiots. I’ll find a use for it.

Now I must go add more non-organic, hopefully radioactive chemicals to the yard.