I Pulled Out my Beam; Pull Yours

I’m sure everyone who reads this site has been unable to sleep, wondering what became of the Kenyan lady I talked to on the dating site.

Fear not. I will escort you back into the arms of Morpheus.

To recap, I decided to take a look at interracial dating sites, for reasons already explained. I have had many amusing encounters with African Internet scammers, and I was not optimistic when I started hearing from women in Africa. I started talking to one anyway, and we had an incredible conversation. After that, I vetted her on the web. She checks out. She is the same person who has been posting on Youtube and Twitter for years. She’s a very seriously lady who hates BS, and she has put up a number of Twitter posts chewing out crooked Kenyan politicians and essentially saying God would soon smite them with boils and mighty emerods.

She didn’t literally say that, but you get the picture.

Our first conversation seemed extremely encouraging, but yesterday, I barely got a response from her.

It occurred to me that I had already failed one test as a potential leader. I had had a marvelous encounter with an extraordinary woman, and then I had failed to lead by asking her to agree with me in prayer for guidance as to whether we should continue. I emailed her and apologized, and she sent a nice email back. In it, she suggested I look into Kenneth Copeland, Jerry Savelle, and Kenneth Hagin.

AHA.

She believes in the American prosperity gospel. I said bad things about it in our initial encounter, so she withdrew to think things over. This was obvious to me.

Obviously, the thing to do was to send another email explaining that it was okay with me if she followed Copeland, and I needed to tell her I was okay with a wife who practiced the money gospel and gave money to rich preachers.

Yeah, right.

I doubled down.

This morning I sent a long email. To summarize, I said a man has to be a leader, and part of leadership is learning things first and passing them on to his wife. This necessarily means he and she will disagree on things until she agrees to submit and listen. I told her about the bad experiences I had had with greedy prosperity buffoons like Kenneth Copeland and Rich Wilkerson, Sr. I told her how I had criticized them publicly. I told her people had said I shouldn’t touch God’s “anointed.” I told her I had become wealthy while they were saying that, and they had not prospered. I told her I received the home and inheritance of a person who defended the money preachers. I said I cursed their ministries from time to time, and that I planned to keep criticizing them.

I am wondering what she’ll say if she responds.

The incel community has a useful but profane phrase. I will paraphrase it and say “poop test.” A poop test is a cruel, dishonest test a woman puts a man through in order to establish dominance and weed out men with spines. Women will say these tests are intended to screen out losers, but that isn’t true. Only losers pass these tests. They’re all about enslavement and hatred of men.

Women will do things like “running hot and cold.” This means she’ll love you one day and shun you the next. The idea is to use sporadic reinforcement to draw you closer. It’s the same thing that makes slot machines work. If a slot machine pays off every time, you’ll only pull the arm until you get what you want. If it never pays off, you’ll only pull the arm until you realize it. If it pays off unpredictably at random intervals, you may pull the arm until you get blisters and tendinitis.

Wife-beaters work the same way. A wife-beater can’t be predicted. One day he’ll be Prince Charming. The next, he’ll give you a fractured orbital. Women and kids learn to try to mold themselves in order to shape a wife-beater’s behavior. It doesn’t work, but it’s literally addictive.

Poop tests are abuse. Anyone who sticks around for them ought to donate his testicles to medical science, because he is not using them.

Poop tests are wrong, but clinging to your principles and seeing if your partner is right for you is right. It’s what I’m doing. It’s what Jesus did. He said incredibly rude things to people, and he accepted the fact that people who were offended shouldn’t have been there in the first place.

By the way, a reader recommended a video in which a dating coach gave three tests to give women. I thought it was kind of funny. Here they are:

1. Ask your true love to get you a cup of coffee.
2. Say you’re not going to do something she wants to do.
3. Ask her if she’ll sign a pre-nup.

It’s wrong to come up with contrived, dishonest tests, but I’ll say this: these are legitimate tests, not weapons of manipulation.

The second test reminds me of something that happened to me. I was dating a nutjob who will never be anything but miserable. Unfortunately, I was the love of her life. She had our future all planned out. She was smitten.

She asked me to go to a cat show. I had zero desire to do this, but I agreed, because you do things for people you love. No big deal.

On the day of the show, she arrived at my house very late, and she did not call or give me any warning. When she arrived, I said she needed to let me know when she couldn’t be on time. Again, no big deal. Off to the cat show.

On the way to the show, she had a nutjob moment in the car. The mask fell off. She started telling me I was angry. She said I had a “pissy” look on my face. She was furious. I had no idea what she was talking about. I had been wondering if there was anything interesting to see at a cat show.

I don’t recall whether we made it to the cat show. I recall that I dumped her. The cat show berserker conniption cut the cord, but it was a few days until I made it official.

She thought I ruined her life when I cut her loose, but I saved my own. She took forever to let go. I had to chase her down and force her to take the belongings she had left in my bedroom. Women leave things in men’s homes in order to mark territory and ease their way toward marriage. “If my stuff is in your house, you’re still my man, and this will blow over.”

Sometimes people give themselves poop tests. It wasn’t the first time for her. I remember sitting in the car while she berated some minimum-wage ghetto girl over a parking fee dispute that amounted to less than a Starbucks bill. The girl in the booth was not in a position to make the rules, and she was obviously very hurt. I told her to forget about it and drove off. I caught hell for that, and I learned something.

The way a woman treats other people she’s angry about is the way she will treat you when she’s angry at you. The same thing applies to men. If you like big, strong men who push other men around physically, get ready for dental caps and bruises you can’t hide with makeup. Your day is coming.

Anyway, again, poop tests are wrong, but standing up for God and the truth can perform their function for you.

Today I did exactly the right thing, so I feel good. I’m not sitting around wondering what clever move will make her love me. I wrote my email and got up and made some delicious buckwheat pancakes. She can accept me or move on. She says she believes a man should lead and a woman should submit. We’ll find out if she means it.

She is a bold person who has been rejected for telling the truth. Does she have the stomach to accept someone who speaks the truth to her?

Now you know what’s happening. Sleep well.