1 for 2

I hit the woods again today. Things went pretty well. I set up my blind to see whether the squirrels liked it better than the sight of me sitting in my Home Depot folding chair.

I wasn’t all that happy about the weather. It’s miserably hot. It hit 80 degrees here. We’ve had a wonderful winter so far, so it disturbs me whenever the pattern is broken. I was concerned that the blind might be hot because it cuts off the wind.

I set it down in a general area where I have killed squirrels before. I’ve learned some things about choosing a place to lie in wait. You don’t want too much undergrowth in front of you. It hides squirrels on the ground. You don’t want to set up so trees block your view of other trees. You don’t know which tree a squirrel will climb down, and if it’s a tree you can’t see, you can spook the squirrel when you move to get a clear shot. You also want a spot in the shade, for obvious reasons.

I made a tremendous racket when I set the blind up. It’s confusing, and there are a lot of things that flop around and make noise. I was afraid all the squirrels would take off for Jacksonville.

It wasn’t all that long before I started seeing squirrels, though. They are quite stupid. Unfortunately, they didn’t cooperate very well. They stayed too high up, or they sat behind things I couldn’t see through, or they ran back up trees without presenting good shots.

Eventually, I had a somewhat decent shot at maybe 25 yards. I couldn’t see the bottom half of the squirrel, but that wasn’t the half I was shooting at. I did my best to steady the gun, and I fired. The squirrel dropped. I got out of the blind and started walking to him. He jumped up and ran up a nearby tree. I couldn’t find any blood. I think the little jerk was playing possum. He got me to blow my cover royally, which made me fear I wouldn’t see any more rodents.

I sat back down anyway, and before too long, I picked up motion in my peripheral vision to the right. A squirrel was on the ground, rummaging for acorns. It was in an area with considerable junk on the ground, plus swells in the terrain. Sometimes it moved a few feet and disappeared completely.

It kept moving to my right, so I had to keep picking my chair up and turning it. The squirrel didn’t care. The magic of the blind was working.

Finally, it showed most of its body from around 30 yards. It was at 4 o’clock relative to my original position, and I had been watching it for a very long time. I figured this was the best shot I would ever get. I pressed the trigger, and the squirrel disappeared.

I wondered if I was getting another Academy Award performance as I left the blind, but when I got to the area where the squirrel should have been, I saw a motionless furry object on the ground. No breathing. The bullet had traversed the chest cavity. Very clean kill.

I threw the squirrel on the ground in front of the blind, because I had been told squirrels like to investigate their dead buddies. I gave it a good solid trial, but I had no luck. I tossed the squirrel in a Home Depot bag and walked home. I left the blind and chair, figuring it would be helpful to avoid making a huge spectacle the next time I used it.

Cleaning the squirrel went better than before. I stopped trying to do exactly what Youtube videos said to do, and I used common sense. The hide came off reasonably easily, and the squirrel remained in one piece, except for the head, which I severed on purpose.

I now have 4 squirrels in the oven at 250, wrapped in foil, and once I think they’re tender, I plan to grease them, put a rub on them, and give them an hour in the smoker. Maybe doing it this way will keep them from drying out.

I’m getting used to gutting and skinning warm animals that smell. It doesn’t bother me now. That’s good, because you have to get used to it if you want to enjoy it.

Maybe I can manage to bag a turkey during the spring season. I certainly hope so.

It’s unfortunate that I didn’t get into hunting years ago, before the lunatics took over and started treating hunters like criminals. It’s astounding how people can believe lies and choose to wallow in ignorance.

There have been times when the gaslighting has started to get to me. I started to wonder if killing animals was okay. Surely God loves them. The other day I got a revelation, however, so I no longer have even a sliver of guilt.

In case some self-righteous ninny is giving you a hard time about hunting, I’ll tell you my revelation. Ask yourself this: how do wild animals die when hunters DON’T kill them?

Answer: horribly. They die from animal predation, for one thing. Animal predators are not humane. They often kill slowly. Many predators like to play with their wounded prey. They are also known to wound other animals just for the fun of it and then wander off, leaving them in agony. Animals also die from terrible diseases without medical care. Check out what’s happening to the key deer here in Florida to see good examples. Animals die from injuries that are never treated. They die from starvation and thirst, too. Wild animals don’t die of old age, because as soon as age weakens them, something else finishes them off.

In the wild, there is no such thing as a peaceful death in a warm bed surrounded by loved ones. There are no animal hospices. No one tries to mitigate a dying animal’s agony. It goes on and on.

Farm animals and game killed by hunters generally die fast deaths while in the prime of life. Very often, they die instantly. Hunters track wounded prey to put it out of its misery. Hunters think about ethics when they shoot. They avoid shots that are too likely to cause unnecessary suffering.

In reality, hunters don’t cause an overall increase in suffering. They reduce it. Every wild animal dies, but only a small percentage are lucky enough to be taken humanely.

Put that in your bong and smoke it a while.

Here’s a few videos of animals dying in the wild. Don’t watch if you’re sensitive. Ask yourself if you wouldn’t prefer a high-powered round through the heart and lungs.

1. A cheetah being torn apart by lions.

2. A lion being mauled to death by hyenas.

3. Komodo dragons eating a deer alive.

4. Here’s a lynx taking a very long time to kill a squirrel.

5. Here’s a polar bear in the process of dying. National Geographic claimed the bear was dying because of climate change, but they later admitted they had no idea what its problem was. In fact, this is how bears normally die.

So much for the anti-hunting nuts.

Hope I can get better at killing squirrels while the season lasts. It seems like great training for other types of hunting.