Squirrels Yield to Superior Technology and Practice

I took the Marlin 60 out today, found out where it shot at around 15 yards, and headed for squirrelville.

Shortly after I got away from the house, I saw a lady training a horse on a property nearby. I was in the woods, but she was on the side of my land which is closest to houses. I guess they were a little over a hundred yards away. She would definitely see me if I killed a squirrel where I was, and she would have ample opportunity to stick her nose in my business.

I noticed a stupid squirrel on the ground not far ahead. The stupid ones are the majority of my business. I thought about the lady. Was it the same character who called me over to the fence a few years ago and told me shooting upset her horses? I thought maybe I should avoid a confrontation. Then I thought again. I needed to assert my dominance and defend my rights. No pushy neurotic woman with zero understanding of property rights, good manners, or the law was going to make the rules on my land. Sorry, Karen of the Squirrels.

I stalked up to a tree for partial concealment, opened up a monopod, put the squirrel on the crosshairs of my Bugbuster scope, and let him have it right through the upper body. He dropped and twitched briefly. I looked at the lady with the horse. They were continuing with their business. The horse was not interested in my activities, and I guess it wasn’t the crazy lady. Either that, or she was intimidated, as she should have been. No one should feel entitled to disturb a hunt, especially in a state where it’s a second-degree misdemeanor.

I walked over and looked at the squirrel. No movement. A nice clean kill.

I stuck him in a Ziploc and went on my merry way. I saw a few more rodents, but they were either too wary to get close to or impossible to shoot safely.

Skinning went pretty well this time. I tore a squirrel in half two days ago. A real mess. It gets easier with practice. I left most of the offal in the yard. The possums and coons must love me.

I’ve learned that it’s handy to flush things like kidneys and man parts. I cut squirrels up in my mud room, which has a toilet.

Now I have three little buddies in the fridge waiting to be smoked.

I’m not all that excited about eating them, but it’s a good idea to get used to game, given the fact that a hot civil war is on the way. It would probably be smart to learn how to eat ants, worms, roaches, and grass.

I feel like I should do things right at least once. I should set my blind up in a likely place and start hunting early. I don’t want to cut into my morning prayer time, though.

Things are going well. I finally have one scoped .22 that works well, and I’m getting better at hunting itself. I hope I can start coming home with 5 squirrels instead of one or three.

It’s bizarre how hunting can bring out instincts you never used in the suburbs. When I’m walking in the woods and something moves 50 yards away, I freeze instantly, just like cats do when they see birds. If I’m in mid step, that’s where I stop. I stare at whatever moved. Nothing is in motion except my eyes. I don’t think about anything else.

People think hiking and camping make you part of nature. No, sorry. Hiking is fun, but hikers are spectators, and camping just lets you know how it feels to be homeless. If you want to feel like part of nature, start hunting. You literally become part of the game. You become a predator, just as legitimate as a hawk or a fox. Hunting is real. Buying meat at the store is make-believe.

Yesterday I was out by my target stands, and I smelled squirrel. I guess I had gotten something on the bed of my cart when I killed the last two, because there were no squirrels around. It looks like squirrel hunting is turning me into a squirrel dog. I can smell them in the kitchen a day after I put them away and clean everything carefully.

I’m glad I hunt squirrels, because they’re very challenging. Shooting a squirrel at 100 feet is like shooting a deer at 300 yards. It’s actually harder, because squirrels move around more, and rifles for deer have much better optics and triggers than .22’s. Deer, hogs, coons, and coyotes should be a breeze after this.