Surfing the Shock Wave of America’s Demise

I have often said I don’t get depressed. Depression was my normal state for my first three decades. I was crippled by a very dysfunctional family, I didn’t have enough character to overcome it, I didn’t know enough about God to get his help, and what I did know, I didn’t use. I wasn’t suicidal, homicidal, or ready for an institution, but I felt very bad a lot of the time.

After I was about 30, I didn’t have problems with depression, except for a short period while I was having problems in graduate school. I found some secular tools that helped temporarily, and before they ran out of gas, I turned back to God, and after that, I was fine.

Lately, though, I have started to feel a little listless. The inauguration sowed the seed. Over the last week or so, I’ve felt down, compared to my usual outlook.

Earthly life started to seem pointless. I was confident that America, the last major nation that was dominated by, and hospitable to, Christians, was in its death throes. I looked around me at the hysterical, irrational, ineffective restrictions imposed on us because of coronavirus, and it seemed to me that we were locked in place. Freedom of association was gone. Our ability to gather was a thing of the past. Evangelism and all the other functions Christians are supposed to perform were drastically curtailed, and online resources we used to compensate were being taken away by the cancel kids and their demon masters.

Our ability to accomplish our purpose by conventional means was greatly reduced, and we were headed into a time of extreme persecution which couldn’t end without ending the age we live in. Humanity was done with us for the most part, and only Jesus could rescue us and take us away.

This morning, I thought about it, and I realized the problem was not depression. It was grief.

Depression is sick and irrational. When you’re depressed, you tell yourself things that aren’t true. “I’m a loser.” “People don’t like me.” “My problems will get worse and worse. They will never be solved.” Grief is different. Grief, like joy, is a normal response to real events.

I was feeling grief because I believed my earthly country and my birth world were in the process of dying.

Grief is not an illness. It’s normal and proper. It’s not something you can treat away, because it has a real root that sustains it. Depression can be fixed by using supernatural tools, and even earthly tools can help a lot. Depression is abnormal and unhealthy, so you have to do something about it. Grief, on the other hand, has to be endured until it wears off.

Maybe that’s not completely true, though. Maybe God is willing to give Christians who are close to him supernatural joy to insulate us from grief while the world withers and the majority of people around us give themselves completely and permanently to the Antichrist. That must be true, because it’s exactly how God works, but how effective will his help be? We will still be bombarded with evidence of humanity’s self-destruction every day, and surely this will sometimes upset us.

I wonder if I’m feeling my own grief. I know God grieves, and sometimes he puts his own feelings in us.

I remember the first time I felt his grief. I’ve written about it before. I was visiting the United States Holocaust Memorial Museum. I saw huge mounds of shoes and eyeglasses the Nazis and their collaborators took from Jews who were later murdered. I felt grief saturate me, and I knew it didn’t come from me. I’m not so sensitive or empathic that I naturally get upset by sights like that.

I feel grief when I think about that visit. I also feel grief whenever I see a photo or video of the World Trade Center’s towers. That’s not me. I’m more jaded than that.

Am I feeling God’s grief now, or am I just reacting the the prospect of spending the remaining years or days of my life in a nation and a world in which my vile enemies have been given permament hegemony? It’s like being on a ship where a majority of those aboard have voted to beat the rest of us to death and run into an iceberg.

I tend to think of God as someone who is perpetually happy, but that’s wrong. What’s the shortest verse in the Bible? “Jesus wept.” God has expressed sorrow many times. Jesus told the Jews how he had wanted to embrace them and help them, even as their leaders were in the process of working to murder him. Through the prophets, God has told us about his sadness and his anger. I always think of heaven as a place where there is no unhappiness, but that’s wrong. God himself experiences unhappiness. I don’t know if people in heaven can be unhappy, but God can, at least until all his enemies are far away, burning forever, and the suffering of his children is finished.

I don’t know how long I’ll be here, and I still have to function. I have to attend to my responsibilities, and I don’t want unhappiness to become my normal state, so I can’t sit and wallow in grief. I’m going to apply my knowledge and get God’s help every day. Maybe I’ll be on Earth another 20 years and there will be enough pleasure and success in it to make it well worth it. I can’t sit and do nothing and bank on the rapture.

I wonder if there is still some way for things to improve. Will some way for Christians to socialize and do their job materialize? Will a day come when the masks come off? That would be nice. I don’t see it happening, though. We are being lied to on a grand scale. The government pays hospitals richly to call deaths “coronavirus-related,” so we are seeing obscenely inflated tallies which politicians will continue to use to extend their control. We’re supposed to believe America has 450,000 deaths, while Africa, which has a huge, unruly population and very limited medical resources, has a small fraction of that number. There are 1.3 billion people in Africa, and all of Africa has been exposed, so where are the deaths?

We’re also being told the seasonal flu magically disappeared. If the CDC is to be believed, there is no flu epidemic this year. The infection and death rates are close to zero. That doesn’t happen. Obviously, flu deaths are being turned into profitable coronavirus deaths. Either that, or God has restrained the flu and given us an “impossible” scenario in able to make us understand that coronavirus came from him.

Next, we’ll probably be told the vaccines are disappointing. They’ll probably keep telling us they work wonders, to get us to take them, and then those lucrative coronavirus deaths will mysteriously keep coming, enabling the government to keep the shackles in place and increase our ties to the socialist colonial organism.

It will be interesting to see what happens, but I don’t expect things to get better.

I had a weird thought about the way coronavirus attacks prisons and old folks’ homes while sparing the young. Is it possible the plague is focusing on people who are too corrupt to be changed?

It wouldn’t be all that controversial to suggest that prisons are full of hopeless, evil sociopaths who might as well be dead and who would be typical targets for God’s plagues, but can I really be serious when I say residents of assisted living facilities also draw God’s wrath?

Here’s something to think about. It’s a fact. Old unbelievers are extremely unlikely to change. Any evangelist will tell you this. People who can never belong to God because of pride and love of sin will, obviously, get old without improving. What kind of elderly people end up in homes? Not the blessed kind. Dementia and physical disabilities are curses.

Maybe ALF’s are getting hit hard not because of the confinement and the apathy of the caregivers, but because the resident population contains a lot of people whose nature attracts curses such as plagues.

If you’re locked in a building that smells like urine and feces, other people tell you what to do, you don’t know your children’s names, and you’re wearing a diaper, aren’t you cursed already? Why should one more curse be a surprise?

On the other end of the spectrum, children have very little culpability and much more potential, and it’s rare for children to die from covid or even to have symptoms. The older a population gets, the larger the percentage of culpable people becomes, and coronavirus works the same way. The older you are, the bigger the threat.

It looks a lot like progressive punishment.

It’s impossible to make sense of coronavirus. Either the facts they give us are false, or the disease itself defies the laws of nature. Or both things are true.

Nothing about coronavirus makes sense. The Chinese should have nipped it in the bud. They did a much better job with SARS, so we know they could have done better this time. Other countries should have focused on isolating the vulnerable instead of punishing all of us needlessly and inflicting unnecessary economic hardship. Once the virus was established, it shouldn’t have had any effect on the flu rate. It should have hit Africa harder than any other continent, but Africa has been spared, and wealthy America has the worst statistics. It virtually disappeared in China, in spite of everything the government did to help it spread. Established science told us masks don’t do much to stop the spread of respiratory bugs, and experts admitted this at first. Then they got the government to force us to wear masks anyway, and there was no noticeable flattening of the curve. Lockdowns should have worked, but they didn’t affect the curve, either, any more than they would have affected the curse on Egypt’s firstborn. Masks and lockdowns haven’t worked, and we need to be set free in order to avoid a recession, but our liberty is decreasing, not increasing.

The expert explanations are silly theories that are more heavily based on politics than science, and even experts don’t claim their theories are solid. They admit they’re guessing.

This is 2021. We know how epidemics work. Why can’t we figure coronavirus out?

If there is one blessing about the upheavals we see around us, it’s that God is helping us to see who and what can be relied on. I learned I couldn’t trust certain things I did in order to communicate with God. I got the impression that the rapture was coming in December, and it didn’t happen (unless it was really small), so that was a good lesson for me. A whole bunch of people “prophesied” that Trump would win, and some are still doing it while our permanently-gagged ex-President plays golf in Florida. I’ve only seen one individual admit he was wrong. Many people are clinging to bizarre theories and refusing to hold false prophets accountable, but the honest have learned there are certain people they can’t trust. That’s positive.

Here are a few of the preachers who prophesied incorrectly:

Kat Kerr
Kim Clement
Pat Robertson
Bill Johnson
Kris Valloton (admitted error later but pulled down apology video due to pressure from supporters)
Paula White
Hank Kunneman
Jeremiah Johnson
Mark Taylor
Lance Wallnau
Denise Goulet
Greg Locke
Marcus Rogers

Trump advisor Kenneth Copeland, who is about as good a copy of Satan as there could ever be, denied Biden’s victory and went into a bizarre spasm of what appeared to be demonic laughter.

These people, aside from the lunatic Copeland, who is beyond help, should really be talking about their failure instead of holing up and hoping people will forget. No one is going to forget. The enemies of God will still be reminding us when Jesus comes. I’m surprised their prophecies weren’t included in Super Bowl commercials. Pretending nothing happened is disgraceful and silly.

I thought Trump would win, but I never claimed it was a prophecy or a certainty, because I didn’t know for sure. I felt it would be very much in line with the increasing polarization and hate in America. I thought if Trump won, it would inflame already-smoldering insane leftist hate and cause our cold civil war to go hot. That made sense to me, and I also felt great faith for a Trump win when I prayed, but while God was surely willing to answer our prayers, American voters, who actually held the power to decide, were not.

Sometimes we pray to God when the only ones who can answer our prayers are other people.

A guy I used to think heard from the Holy Spirit now says the government of the United States has been arrested. Apparently, the troops in DC have arrested everyone who is against Trump, and he will be brought back in triumph. He has not explained how Pelosi and the rest still appear in public, doing their jobs without shackles. How he can believe what he believes and still be sane enough to function is beyond me.

Trump associated with the wrong people. He palled around with money preachers and self-promoters. Maybe this is why he failed. I can relate. I used to associate with them, too. Maybe if he had been in touch with the Holy Spirit, and he had surrounded himself with real men of God, God would have been able to shape his actions so he would have been more appealing to the electorate.

Too many Christians ended up worshiping Trump, America, and ourselves.

For a long time, I’ve been asking God to take down the corrupt ministries and bring power and help to the people who speak the truth. The money preachers took a big hit when Trump lost, so does that mean God is also helping hordes of obscure individuals who are out there giving people the straight dope? I hope so. I’ve been expecting that to happen for years.

I’m going to keep focusing on prayer and repentance. I’m going to try to get God’s help to increase the activities that work for me. I don’t know how pleasant life can be under the current circumstances, but I want to make the most of it instead of being a whiner and accomplishing nothing.