Ribs Don’t Barbecue Themselves

I’m back on the barbecue warpath.

I fixed myself a bunch of leg quarters day before yesterday, and the main thing I learned was that I had forgotten how to smoke chicken. The skin drew up and hardened so the meat was exposed, and the meat wasn’t as juicy as it should have been. I started thinking about my old practices. One thing I remembered was that I didn’t use a rub for chicken. I used an injector.

I dug out my remaining horse syringe. I don’t know where the needles went, so I ordered a bunch of 1-1/2″ 14-gauge needles on the web. I also ordered a few more 60ml hypos. The vendors must think Keith Richards is stocking up.

I plan to do chicken again in two days. By then, I should be able to do it right. I think I’ll try leg quarters again. I’ll grease them so the skin doesn’t dry up. Bacon grease sounds right; it has worked in the past. I’ll shoot them full of a preparation containing diluted BBQ sauce, salt, garlic juice, hot sauce, and Jim Beam.

I’m going to get a new chicken chair. That’s what I call the little supports they make for beer butt chicken. They hold a chicken upright for smoking. I don’t think I’ll put a beer can inside the chicken. It slows cooking. When I smoke whole chickens, I’ll probably put trays of cheap beer under them instead.

I don’t use good beer for smoking. Cheap beer works much better. It’s disgusting to drink, but the green apple flavor of low-grade beer yeast is perfect for smoking.

Today I made a big error. I bought St. Louis-style ribs. These are made by cutting the big ends off spare ribs, I assume. I paid $4 per pound. I could have bought spare ribs for $2.49, cut the big ends off, and smoked St. Louis-style ribs as well as the big trimmed-off part, and I’ll bet it would have cost about what I’m paying for the little ribs by themselves.

I love whole spare ribs, but little ribs are handier and a little less trouble to eat.

I needed bourbon for flavoring chicken, so I went into the liquor store while I was at Winn-Dixie. I have always used Jack Daniel’s in the past. I consider it an inferior bourbon because it’s not smooth at all, but it has a ton of flavor, and it seems to me that the strong flavor is an advantage for barbecue. Today, though I decided to try Jim Beam. It was two dollars cheaper, and for all I knew, it was better.

I put it on the ribs. I applied it before the rub. Can’t hurt. I tried a little before applying it, and I was surprised. I hadn’t had Jim Beam since high school. I didn’t realize it was so much better than Jack Daniel’s. The flavor is not as strong, but it’s much smoother and more civilized. Maybe it won’t work as well for smoking, but I can make bourbon balls with it if I have Christmas guests. You really need smooth whiskey for bourbon balls.

If this doesn’t work, I’ll just keep smoking until I get results. Restaurant barbecue is not an option.

MORE

The ribs are done. I had to give them 5 hours to make them tender. At 4 hours, I took one out to see how they were doing.

They are phenomenal. Best ribs I’ve ever had. I finally got it right. They’re juicy and loaded with flavor. Absolutely perfect. I’ll post a photo.

I’m all set for lunch for the next three days.

I may never be able to enjoy restaurant barbecue again.