Suspense is Pain

In ten minutes, the Hurricane Ike Cone of Death updates. I always hate these intervals before the forecasters decide who lives or dies. I have suffered through hundreds or thousands of them. And even though Ike is a major threat, while Hanna is a fairly puny storm, Hanna updates every three hours, and Ike takes twice as long.

Right now, they’re talking about Category 4, with me in the north eyewall. Not unlike Andrew. I would really appreciate some good news right now.

Last night, they seemed to be suggesting this thing was headed for Palm Beach. I have nothing against the fine folks in Palm Beach. I never pray a hurricane will hit someone else. But I have to admit, I felt better before the Cone of Death slid south.

A Category 4 in Miami would be a hideous spectacle. Not as bad as Andrew, because we’ve improved our preparations, and because a lot of the stuff that can be blown over by hurricanes has already been blown over and carted to the dump. But it would probably mean weeks without power. Days without water. A total cessation of productivity. And a return to those sweaty sheets I remember with such fondness. I am not eager to repeat these experiences.

I am tempted to get a generator, finally. For little storms, a generator is pointless, because the power only goes out for two or three days. A week is unusual. For big storms, it makes more sense. I think Andrew knocked power out in this neighborhood for about six weeks. I’m actually looking at the Lowes site.

Whoops, here comes the update.

YES! YES! THE PATH SHIFTED A HUNDRED MILES SOUTH!

Oops. I mean, “Darn, it looks like the Keys and the Gulf states are in trouble.”

Ward Brewer must be in Havana.

This could actually be a good thing. It might squeeze between Cuba and the Keys and hit a sparsely populated area in the Yucatan Peninsula. And the winds have dropped to 120, which suddenly seems like a nice number. If the eye is a hundred miles south of me, as currently projected, the damage to Florida will be limited to areas where there aren’t many people. We’ll get blown around, and I’m sure Florida Power and Light will find an excuse to leave us in the dark for half a day, but it won’t be Son of Andrew.

Generators seem to be much better than they used to be. For under a grand, I can get a 4250-watt generator that runs 21 hours on one tank, and it has 240 for hot water. Are hot water heaters 240-volt? Whatever. I can run my welder and compressor, at least. I can take sheets of scrap steel and build a turret from which I can shoot looters.

Sorry to say it, but the generators with Japanese engines are much more tempting. I don’t know where Briggs & Stratton makes its engines, but if it’s not Japan, they can keep them. I support the USA and all that, but my support ends when it comes to products I truly have to trust.

I know the storm is too far away for me to make predictions. The odds that it will hit me are slim. There is no reason to go out and spaz on the front lawn. I might do it anyway, just for the comforting sensation.

I hope everyone in Hanna’s path is taking precautions. Trust me, a big cooler and fifty pounds of ice will cover a multitude of sins. If you don’t have LED flashlights, get some. They burn forever on one set of batteries. And don’t underestimate the value of storm candles. You don’t always need bright light. A candle in your living room can keep you from running your toe into furniture, and a big one will burn for days.

Val Prieto has a preparation list up. Funny, I don’t see Beanee Weenee™ on there.

Let’s all pray this thing breaks up and heads for uninhabited land.

Incidentally, a reader has a charity recommendation. The charity is called Mercy and Sharing, and their site says 100% of donations reach Haitian children, because the charity’s founders cover the administrative costs. I can’t vouch for them, because I can’t find them at Charity Watch or Charity Navigator, but you may be able to find better information.

Here’s a link.