One Less Thing to to Worry About

I’m having a Sierra Nevada Torpedo and reveling in my latest triumphs.

Today I had to go to the local Social Security office about some business, and I dreaded sitting in a dirty government chair, staring at Amazon Kindle for half an hour. When I arrived, the door was locked. Coronavirus! They had a number on the door. I called it, and wonder of wonders, they agreed to send me what I needed by mail. No hassle. No waiting. No demanding 52 forms of unavailable documentation. No videotaped colonoscopy like last time. Wonderful.

As blessing would have it, the office is not far from Harbor Freight. I shot over there and picked up two solid wheels for my new propane outfit cart. The air-filled tires it came with are garbage. For $9 each, I got wheels that will never go flat. I also bought a Bremen vise grip I didn’t need, just because I felt like it. People say they’re just as good as Irwin, and they’re a lot cheaper.

When I tried putting the wheels on my cart, I found they didn’t fit perfectly. The old wheels had a longer offset, so the new ones were too close to the center of the cart. If only I knew someone with a lathe, to make spacers.

Oh, wait.

I found a piece of steel on a shelf, bored it out, and cut two spacers from it. I slid them on the cart’s axle, and I was ready to go. Beautiful.

While I was at it, I washed my welding hoses with Or-Pine, a congealed pine oil cleaner made for yachts. It’s very strong, and it has a powerful odor. The welding hoses stank of gangrenous mouse sphincters because unwell mice had made a nest in the box they came in.

Before I washed the hoses, the stink came off on my hands every time I touched them. I don’t know what kind of bacteria those mice had, but they were the real deal. They must have had diseases that would turn heads even in San Francisco.

I don’t know what to do with the old pneumatic wheels. They’re worthless. I hate to throw out new wheels, but I see no point in keeping them. Maybe I’ll remove the tubes and save them for pool toys.

I straightened the workshop out a little before I called it a day. Things are going great. I’ve been working a lot. The yard looks better. My roof problem is scheduled to be fixed; the roof guys came today and put a temporary patch on the problem area. The weather is suddenly tolerable. On top of all this, I keep feeling God is telling me the rapture is coming this year.

I’m thinking of a new project. I bought a propane weed torch, and it shoots a mighty flame. I am tempted to make a bent tube for it so I can attach it to a propane fryer base, aimed downward. The idea is to put steaks and burgers under it and roast them from above. If it worked, it would be magnificent. The big steakhouses cook their steaks this way. They use powerful electric burners called salamanders, and they project heat downward onto the meat.

All I need is a way to bend a tube. I know I can figure it out. Maybe I can find some stainless braided hose.

Time to finish my beer and relax. I hope tomorrow will be at least half as good as today.