New Faucet

I went to Home Depot and bought a new kitchen faucet; the old one was dripping into the cabinet and encouraging the ants and roaches. They had various wrenches to use on faucet parts. They had a $30 basin wrench and some weird new plastic thing for $10. I had no idea which was right, so I got both, figuring I could return the one that was most useless.

It turns out the plastic one kicks ass, so I didn’t have to open the $30 one. And man, are faucets better than they used to be. The old one had the usual crappy copper tubing on it, and it was fastened to the sink with some kind of hard crap that had set up like ceramic. The new one came with a gasket, and everything that had to be tightened could be tightened nearly all the way by hand.

I bought a couple of 30″ braided lines to put on it–the plastic wrench will hold these in place and screw them on–and I got them attached, and then I realized they were the wrong size for the wall valves. So I have to go back to Home Depot. I will have spent about $20 on a tool and some parts I banged up and could not return, but I didn’t have to hire a slackjaw and have the job done wrong AGAIN.

This job was intimidating, but in practice, it wasn’t undoable. There were no moments when I realized I was doomed or inadequate. Beyond my usual baseline sensations along those lines. I am really mad at everyone who ever worked on the kitchen. I will have to get a grip on myself and put that behind me, as a good Christian who doesn’t chase bad plumbers with a cattle prod or a horsewhip.

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IT’S FINISHED! IT WORKS! THE WATER RUNS! THERE ARE NO LEAKS! THE ROACHES ARE SITTING IN SACKCLOTH AND ASHES!

This is glorious. It’s so nice to see a job done right, while savoring the pleasure of not paying for labor.