The Nonexistent Secret to China’s Imaginary Boxing Wins

Earlier I wrote about fraud and BS, and I mentioned the ridiculous board-breaking demonstrations martial artists put on. You’ve seen it. Some doofus who runs a dojo has his assistant hold a thin board up, and the doofus kicks or hits it, and it breaks…right along the grain. Oooh. Impressive!

Here’s some amusing text from James Randi’s site:

I went to my nearby lumber-yard and asked for some 1″ X 8″ X 14″ pine boards, and the clerk immediately asked if I wanted them for karate demonstrations. Yes, I said, and I wanted the grain going across the boards, not along the length. Well, he told me, we have those already cut, for karate schools — but be careful not to let them bounce around in the car, because they split very easily….

He also told me they carried paving-bricks specially made for the schools, too. These were very high in sand-content, he said, so they crumbled easily.

I love it. Whatever you may think of Randi, there is no evidence that he lies.

Here is what would convince me that martial artists have a special ability to break things. Let me provide a single two-by-six section, two feet long. I’ll put it between two sturdy objects one foot apart. I promise you, no man alive could break it, regardless of what part of his body he used. Let me use oak or hickory instead of softwood, and I’ll gladly use a two-by-four instead of a two-by-six. For even the best Chi Boy, it would be a ticket to the emergency room.

In fact, I should do a Youtube. I should take my 13-pound sledge and try to break a two-by-six. Or maybe I could park a car tire on it, resting over 900 pounds on it.

It’s funny; chi never seems to make it into the ring. You can watch UFC all day, and the fighters are highly motivated and very knowledgeable, yet you never see a magical chi strike that kills the opponent instantly. A boxer can make tens of millions of dollars in a single fight. How come none of them learn how to use chi? Uh…because it does not exist. You better believe, with that kind of money on the line, someone would have brung the chi by now, if it were possible.

You don’t even see magical chi in Asian fights, filmed in the birthplace of chi. If chi existed, the Chinese boxers would be slaughtering the opposition at the Olympics. It’s not happening. Wake up and smell the green tea.