Let’s not Put Ourselves Out

My friend Travis was shot accidentally on April 9, and I haven’t written much about it. The reason I don’t write about it is that I don’t get much information.

I managed to get in touch with his brother, whom I also know, but the brother has not always responded when contacted. When he does respond, I get vague answers. All I know is that the injuries aren’t life-threatening and that Travis is still in the hospital. I can’t communicate with him directly, and he doesn’t call people, although he can talk. There are a lot of problems because of quarantine protocols.

I decided to let it go. I pray every day, but I don’t chase Travis’s family, trying to get news. It seemed to be pointless. It seemed to me that if things were going badly, I would likely be notified, so my hope was that no news was good news.

Yesterday, things changed. A young lady Travis knows contacted me, and we started exchanging information. She got to work, and we established a collaboration. I learned some things.

I learned that Travis’s belongings have been sitting in his apartment, waiting to be stolen, for over two weeks. I learned that no one had done anything about maintaining his relationship with the University of Miami, where his absence has probably been noticed by instructors by now. His refrigerator must be appalling.

When you hear things like this, you don’t know what to say. My family, as messed up as it was, would have been all over these things the day after the event.

Travis has a married sister whose husband does well. His mother is able-bodied. Where are they?

Imagine getting shot and then coming home from the hospital to find the keys changed and your belongings gone. You would probably not be very happy with your family.

The young woman who is now helping Travis got things fixed with the University, and she got his mother to agree to get his house keys. She found people who will keep his valuables. It only took a day. It’s not like she did something other people couldn’t have done. Why wasn’t it taken care of sooner?

I hooked her up with a friend who can help move things if needed. There was some talk of me driving to Miami, but you have to have a signed letter from the pope to get a hotel room in Florida right now, so I have been spared. I would have had to drive 300 miles down and 300 miles back on the same day, with no shower or change of clothes, and I would also have had to move his stuff, resulting in a 12-plus-hour day of pure joy.

If you want to understand my feelings about visiting Miami, read the book The Man Who Broke a Thousand Chains. It would be like breaking back INTO prison.

One annoying thing about all this is that Travis has a billion Facebook friends and numerous real-life friends. They are nearly useless. They always have been. He knows all sorts of people who act like brothers and sisters and play up their deep, special connection until someone needs to borrow five dollars or hitch a ride. Then they disappear like illegals in an ICE raid.

I really hope he shot himself, because if the friend who called me to tell me about it did it, and then he didn’t take care of Travis’s needs, well…not good.

I recall Travis telling me a story about walking a long distance in the rain, carrying musical instruments, and being passed by friends in a car. They waved and kept going.

He had a real crisis a few years back, and a guy from the church we attended told him not to worry; he would take care of everything. No problem. This was a very bad situation that needed immediate attention by a certain day in order to prevent terrible consequences that would affect the rest of Travis’s life. The friend bailed out with no warning, too late for Travis to come up with a new plan. Never explained. No apology. I guess it just felt good to say he would help.

It’s very important to limit your dependence on people who aren’t really your friends. If you don’t do it while things are going well, events will do it for you. When times get hard, you will call on them, and they’ll show you they were never really your friends. Might as well figure out who’s who right now. Why wait to be left in the lurch?

One day you might put your foot down with confidence and fall through the ice.

God puts the solitary in families, according to his word. That doesn’t just mean he takes lonely people and finds them husbands and wives. It also means he takes people who think they have good friends and families, shows them what they really have, and gives them good Spirit-led friends who can be counted on. It’s something we should all ask for. You can be surrounded by friends and be the loneliest person in the room. Julius Caesar could tell you all about it.

MORE

I got more information just now. Apparently, Travis is not able to talk right now. I don’t know why his brother said he talked with him. Maybe things were different at the start. Anyway, it’s good to know he has a good reason for not using the phone.