My Hypothetical Branch Office

Now that I’m shooting more, it’s time to confront a project I have been putting off: the shooting shack.

I shoot in a cow pasture. The shells go all over the place, and then I have to go find them. You can guess what they are likely to land in. I don’t want my brass disappearing, and I’m not crazy about handling it after it lands in poo. Another problem: there isn’t much shade out there. On bright days, the sun can be very uncomfortable, and it also makes it hard to see what I’m doing.

I came up with a plan a long time ago: build a three-sided shack with a metal roof and plywood floor. I could fix it so the floor was slightly raised, allowing me to move the shack around quickly using the forks on my tractor. My shells would always land right next to me, or on the person I was shooting with, and I could sit in the shade. I could make the shack 6 feet deep and 7 feet wide, to allow plenty of room for two people.

The project is intimidating for various reasons. I know a fair amount about building things with tools, but this knowledge doesn’t really extend to carpentry. I could weld a shack together pretty quickly, but making one from wood would be more challenging. The materials would be bulky and heavy, too, and I’m not anxious to handle them alone.

If I were to weld a steel frame together, I could save a lot of time. It would be hard attaching wood to it, however. I don’t think I could keep it from rusting. Even if I painted the steel, water would find a way to rest on it and create rust. This is my guess.

I had an epiphany that made the job less off-putting. I realized I did not need to have wooden sides on the shack. Screen or hardware cloth would be better because they would let the breeze through and they would weigh less. They would also be easy to install. I have to have plywood on the back to block the sun, however. On my property, I always shoot along an east-west axis, so the sun can’t really hit me from the side. I just have to protect my back.

Adding up all the materials, it looks like it’s around $240 before paint and fasteners. Not too bad. I have some materials lying around, so I should be able to cut the cost a little bit by scavenging.

I still have some engineering problems. For example, what would I use for a table? If I use a folding Home Depot table, it will pretty much fill the length of the 6′ by 7′ interior of the shack, making it hard to get to the chair. They make 5′ tables, but that would still be a little tight. Maybe I could make a permanent bench with one section that swings up to let people pass, or I could build two podiums.

Why not put wheels on it so I can keep it forever? Wheels would put the floor maybe 15″ off the ground. This is too high. I don’t want to shoot down at everything. With a wooden-framed base, I figure I can get down a lot lower.

Why not build it on four-by-fours in cement slugs in the ground? Because I don’t want to be forced to shoot at the same distance all the time. I can’t move my berm, so I have to be able to move the shack.

It’s doable. I have to make my mind up to do it.

In other news, the pandemic seems to be stuck in the mud. The total number of detected cases has not been able to break 130,000 yet, meaning transmission is slowing down or testing is not working. I saw an article today from a major newspaper, asking why people were so worried when the virus wasn’t all that scary. I’m not the only one who sees that the plague has no clothes.

Two American celebrities have COVID-19 now: Tom Hanks and his wife. They’re in Australia, quarantined. They’re both over 60, and Hanks says they’re not very sick. No shock there. It’s typically a mild disease. No one seems to understand that.

I should not be surprised to see people ignoring logic and falling apart under the influence of rumors that aren’t very credible. This is how humanity works. Logic is way down on the list of things that motivate us. On top of that, it’s a safe bet that spirits are behind the panic. Most people are not connected to the Holy Spirit, and he is the Spirit of truth. If you’re not full of the Holy Spirit (and maybe even if you are), you’re full of other spirits, and they run your life. You may think you’re steering your own ship. It’s a delusion.

It’s distressing to see how we’re allowing a mild disease to push us into very bad economic decisions. People are calling off events. Trump has banned travel from most of Europe. The Chinese have closed factories. It’s overkill, and the financial cost will be tremendous in view of the disease’s inability to cause a true plague.

Why are politicians and others doing these things? I’ve already mentioned the supernatural cause, but there are more-obvious reasons. Anyone who fails to panic and overreact will be held accountable by a public ruled by ignorance. People are covering their rear ends, at great expense.

Democracy is a bad thing. I have to say it. The public has extremely poor judgment. As Plato said, a wise king is much better. Here in America, we don’t see ourselves as leftists, but we are. The American Revolution was a leftist uprising, believe it or not. The term “leftist” comes from the French Revolution. Democracy is a leftist concept. No wonder it’s so dangerous.

A strong king could respond to the COVID-19 epidemic with common sense, but our politicians are at the mercy of people whose ignorance is astounding, so they have to do unwise things in order to stay in power.

Airlines aren’t bringing enough sick people to America to make a big difference in the numbers, and closing businesses is not going to be all that helpful, because people will still spread disease while they’re off work. The best way to fight the disease, apart from supernatural means, is to wash your hands a lot and refrain from dirty practices like kissing everyone you greet. Dirty people will always be dirty, however, so most people will not change their behavior.

One of the nice things about leaving Miami is that I don’t have people I barely know kissing me all the time. Latin women feel like they have to kiss every person they meet, and it’s disturbing to a person who is used to cleaner, safer customs. I submitted to it while I lived there, because objecting offended people, but I’m glad it’s behind me.

Kissing may be a sign of affection, but that doesn’t take the microbes out of the spit. You really shouldn’t kiss people indiscriminately, and people shouldn’t hold onto backward customs.

If I were king, I’d say, “Stop being filthy. Quit kissing strangers. Avoid getting close to old people. Go to work and stop hoarding.”

I’m going to keep thinking about my shack design. I’ve waited way too long to get started.