“I’ll have a Quart of Pie Filling and an RC”

It’s 11 a.m., and I’m already cooking for tomorrow.

I was asked to make a sweet potato pie this year, but I decided to exercise my veto power and make two pecan pies instead. Pecan pie is better, and I don’t know how to make a sweet potato pie anyway. This morning, before breakfast, I started putting my ingredients together.

It’s very bizarre, having a talent I don’t particularly care about. I do not have much interest in good food, but somehow I am still capable of producing extremely tasty dishes without any training and without much effort. I throw things together, and the results are just crazy.

I generally use the recipe on the side of the Karo syrup bottle, with little modifications. Today, out of laziness and curiosity, and because I had a new ingredient on hand, I changed things more than usual.

First, I added some corn starch to the recipe. I always put liquor in my pecan pies, and I don’t want the texture to suffer because of the added liquid. I added half a teaspoon of starch to each pie to make sure it doesn’t go wobbly. They have never gone wobbly in the past, but the starch still seemed like a good move.

Second, I used brown sugar instead of white sugar. I used up nearly all of my white sugar yesterday while coming up with a better substitute for Honeybaked ham, and I did not want to wait around today until I could get to the store. I had dark brown sugar, so I used it. I also used dark syrup, as I always do.

For all I know, I always use brown sugar. It sounds like me. I can’t recall.

Third, I used an expensive type of vanilla extract. I’m not sure I ever knew what real vanilla tasted like until I got this stuff. I’ve always used things like McCormick and Kirkland extract, and they smell exactly like the stuff my grandmother and mother used. My new bottle is from a company called Sonoma, and it has a different smell to it. I decided to try it.

Fourth, I added salt. Good cooks don’t make sweet things without salt.

I gave up on making my own pie crust years ago, simply because I didn’t want to. If I were to make a pie on a random day in July, I would make my own crust, but there is something about an obligatory holiday meal that makes me want to cut corners. This year, I went with frozen Pet-Ritz crusts, which Internet sources seem to favor. Of course, homemade crust would be better.

I mixed my ingredients up, filled my pie crusts, and set my timer. Then I decided to wash the mixing bowls (one per pie) so I could use them later for cornbread. Needless to say, I had to taste the pie mix that was clinging to them

I can’t describe how wonderful this stuff is. I ate every drop I could scrape up. I could not stop. I kept thinking of things I wanted to do with it. I want to make a batch and put it on ice cream. It’s astounding.

For quite a while after I finished cleaning the bowls, I found myself announcing, “MAN, that was good!”, at random intervals.

I feel like making a batch without eggs, heating it to activate the starch, and then beating eggs into it.

I assume it will make good pies. There is no reason why it shouldn’t. I can post the ingredients.

INGREDIENTS

1 cup dark Karo syrup
1 cup dark brown sugar
3 eggs
3 tbsp. butter
1 shot Knob Creek
1 tsp. high-end vanilla extract
1/2 tsp. starch
1/2 tsp. salt

Yes, it has raw eggs in it. I don’t care. So does zabaglione. So does the real recipe for key lime pie. If you’re afraid of raw eggs, you’re going to miss out on a lot of good food.

I wonder if I should have used more starch.

Cook’s Illustrated says 185° is the magical final measurement for pecan pie filling. They also say to heat the filling before putting it in your crust. I did not know that. I would have tried it. They tend to be right about things like that.

Some people say to tap the pie and see how much it jiggles. That sounds like very poor advice. Judging a digital thermometer reading is a lot easier than trying to guess what “jiggle” means to someone else.

If the pies turn out to be as good as I think they will, I will follow up.

MORE

My pies are done. Wouldn’t you know it? The Karo recipe goes overboard on cooking time. I reduced it and still ended up with pies that were hotter in the center than I wanted. They’ll be fine, though.

I have to go buy new glasses now. While my dad was alive, we used Mason jars because they were cheap and hard to break, but now I can have real glasses. I also need a giant platter for my oversized turkey.

Still not happy about that.

MORE

It looks like I took notes when I cooked last year’s food. I used a tablespoon of vanilla per pie, and it worked very well. I should have done that this time!