Woe is Me

This is fricking upsetting.

I decided to make my own pita, because I was too lazy to go to the store. I figured I would be satisfied if it was edible. But it came out so well, from now on, I am going to be utterly bummed when I have to eat the store stuff. The taste was better. The texture was infinitely superior. It didn’t resist at all when I peeled it apart for dipping in hummus.

Damn it.

There was one small problem. I use my whole wheat flour so rarely, it went a a bit “off.” I think this is the reason white flour was invented. It lasts forever without spoiling. Not sure. Anyway, I need new flour, but the pita was still a thousand times better than any pita I’ve had outside of Israel.

Sometimes when things go right, you’re worse off than when they go wrong. I cook so many things well now, I am constantly surrounded by temptation. And I have the willpower of Amy Winehouse.

I guess you’ll want to know what I did.

I looked briefly at a web recipe, which you can find here. Then I ignored it, mostly. I stole the baking technique.

INGREDIENTS

3/4 cup all-purpose flour
1 cup whole wheat flour
1 tbsp. gluten (my all-purpose flour is pretty weak)
1/2 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. sugar
2 tbsp. olive oil
6 ounce water
1 tbsp. dry yeast

This is very much like my pizza dough. I dissolved the sugar in the water, which I had heated for 20 seconds in a microwave. I added the yeast, dissolved it, and waited for it to foam. I put the other ingredients in the food processor and blended them quickly. I set a timer for 3 minutes and turned it on. I turned on the food processor. I poured the yeast mixture in slowly, waiting for the flour to form a coherent glob. Turned out I needed more water; I think whole wheat flour is thirstier than all-purpose.

When it formed a glob, I quit adding water. This was at about 2:20. I blended until 1:20. Then I formed the dough into a ball and put it in an oiled dish to rise. I preheated the oven and baking stone to 400.

When the dough was nice and puffed up, I divided it into six pieces. I rolled three pieces into flat circles, using as little flour as I could. The circles were very thin; each one was around 6″ in diameter. I tossed them on the stone and baked for three minutes or so. I turned them to get them toastier on the top side, and they were out by five minutes. I baked the others the same way. They were perfect. They come out with a little flour on them, but you can knock it off.

This would be really good if you could sour the dough.

Reader sent me a funny photo. Remember me worrying about squibs in a revolver? This is apparently what happens, if you don’t notice that the bullets aren’t leaving the gun. I have to wonder what would happen if you had a few squibs in an automatic weapon.