You Owe Because We Say You Owe

I just spent at least two hours proving a condominium association owes me money. I do not know why people keep trying to bill me for things I’ve already paid for.

I own a rental condo. I pay the association every month for maintenance. Every so often, they send me a threatening letter saying they’re going to put a lien on the condo if I don’t pay up fast. The last letter said they would sue if I didn’t respond within 10 days of the date of the letter, and I received it on the 10th day.

You don’t send someone a letter that says they have to respond within 10 days of mailing, because you have no idea how long they’ll take to receive it. You don’t say they have to respond within 10 days of receipt unless you can prove they received it. In any case, you don’t send someone a letter demanding a response by a certain date and then mail it so late it arrives after the deadline.

I don’t know why they do this, because when you talk to them on the phone, they admit it’s all a bluff. I’m sure they would eventually sue me if I got far enough behind, but they don’t really do it after 10 days. They’re not obnoxious. Just weird.

I had to sit down and make a table listing all the checks I had sent. Four of my checks had been deposited yet were not credited to my account. This is not the first time. Someone at the association deposits my checks to other people’s accounts.

They wanted about a thousand dollars. Turns out they owe me over a hundred.

I really hate accounting. It amazes me that there are people who like staring at tables of figures. I had no trouble with real math, which involves variables, not filthy, naked NUMBERS. Actual figures are mind-numbing to look at. How can people stand it?

I would rather pay these people a hundred bucks I don’t owe than look at their ledgers. I hope they don’t know that.

An assisted living facility is also trying to get me to pay money I don’t owe. They kept my dad for four days last year. We paid in full, in advance, and they gave us a copy of the check. Then I started getting bills. I called them, and they said not to worry about it. I should ignore them. They took a long time to deposit checks, and their computers sent out bogus bills until the deposits were recorded.

Then they turned an incompetent and seemingly dishonest collection agency loose on me. They want me to pay the original bill plus $800, plus the cost of an additional day. My dad stayed for 4 days, their paperwork shows it, and they’re billing me for 5.

I eventually found out the facility lost the check. It wasn’t deposited. I had to pay to stop it.

The collection agency told me to send a dispute letter, so I did, with very clear exhibits plus a check for the original stay minus the cost of stopping the first check. They said to call in a week. I did, and they said to call in another week. The next time I called, which was maybe two weeks later, they said I hadn’t sent a dispute letter. They said I had refused to pay. They said they didn’t have a check.

During the same call, they admitted they had the check, which they refused to cash. I pointed out that it was mailed in the same envelope with the letter. They said someone must have failed to put it in the file.

They record all calls so they can use them against people in court. In their conversations with me, they provided a lot of evidence that they don’t know what they’re doing. I don’t think that helps their case.

I wrote a new letter, attached the old letter and exhibits, made a PDF of the whole thing, sent it to them by certified mail and faxed it to them twice, on different days. I may fax it a few more times. I wonder if they plan to acknowledge its existence.

I don’t know what they plan to do now. They can’t put a lien on anything I own. They can’t sue, because the facility paperwork calls for arbitration. They can’t arbitrate, because they’ll look like idiots and lose, and then they’ll have to pay the arbitrator.

They can’t hurt my credit rating, which I never use, because I don’t borrow.

I guess I do use it. People with good credit get lower insurance rates. But one crazy, disputed bill from people who are clearly inept will not hurt me.

You have to wonder why they don’t take my money and go away. I’m doing my best to pay them.

I freely admit, I should never have listened when I was told the bills would stop coming, and I delayed dealing with the collection people for maybe a month because my dad had just died, I was busy, and it didn’t seem urgent. But I don’t owe these characters $800 as payment for making errors.

I called the assisted living place several times, and I know their bookkeeper (probably the person who lost the check) has been told I want to talk with her. She refuses to return calls. I told them I might come and sit in their lobby until she comes out.

I don’t know if that’s a good idea. The roaches might climb up my legs while I waited. The insect life was one reason why I took my dad out of that place. I visited while he was eating, and I saw two roaches in the dining room. One was wandering around on a picture frame, surveying the room. I pointed it out to a worker, and she said she would have to notify the maintenance people. Didn’t bother the roach, mind you. He went on observing.

I reported them in to the state, so maybe that’s why they don’t want to talk. I also turned the collection agency in to the Attorney General. I don’t know if they ever do anything to help anyone, but it made me feel like I was striking a blow for old, feeble people everywhere. This is not how you treat the elderly. Okay, I’m not quite elderly, but my dad was, and if he were alive, they would be going after him. If he were alive and I weren’t around to help him fight the collection agency, where would he be?

My situation reminds me of a story about Eliezer, Abraham’s servant. He visited Sodom for some reason, and while he was there, a Sodomite hit him in the head with a rock. The Sodomite sued him, claiming a rock in the face was medical treatment. He said he was owed a fee for the therapeutic bloodletting. The judge, also a Sodomite, agreed.

Eliezer hit the judge in the face with a rock and told him to pay the other man what he owed.

I have conversed with God about the matter. I didn’t want to pay these characters for their collection “costs,” but I said I was willing to do it to make this matter disappear. I said I would do it if it pleased God. I even asked if it was okay to do it, but I feel like he doesn’t want me to.

I wonder what else I’m going to be billed for. Maybe reparations. I might be willing to give all the wealth my slave-owning ancestors, if any, passed on to me. Of course, that amounts to nothing. I’m willing to pay cash.

I already paid reparations. I’ve paid it many times. I paid it when people with lower grades and test scores got scholarships and I didn’t. Do I get credit for that?

The message here is this: never listen to any potential creditor when they say, “Don’t worry. We’ll take care of it.” They won’t take care of it. If they took care of things, you wouldn’t be having a problem to begin with.

Someone should have made me read this blog entry in January.

I spent so much time today working on a bill I don’t owe, I forgot all about bills I do owe. Guess the checkbook won’t be coming out until tomorrow.

Time for an ice cream sandwich.