Pump Fixed?

The saga of the pool pump continues. If this were The Lord of the Rings, right about now, I would be having my finger bitten off by a guy in a diaper.

People were telling me to use various types of unions and whatever to put the pipes together. Instead, I put a female threaded deal on one end, and I screwed a male threaded deal into the pump on the other end. I got a 90-degree elbow and put a short piece of pipe in it. I cemented a threaded male fitting on the pipe. I screwed this mess into the female threaded thing. Then I stuck a short piece of pipe in the male threaded fitting going into the pump, and I cemented the elbow to it. Now if I have a problem, I can cut out the elbow in about one minute and unscrew the other pieces.

Someone told me to use pipe dope instead of Teflon tape. My God, I can’t believe the difference. Why would anyone use tape if they had pipe dope? When you apply this crap, you can plainly see it’s going to lubricate the threads, prevent seizing, permit a tighter joint, and form a better seal. Am I wrong? and it’s easier to handle. Teflon tape folds and twists, and it’s a pain to cut, especially when you have one hand occupied.

I am fairly sure this will work, and if it doesn’t, for three dollars, I bought enough parts to do it all over again.

I saw an incredibly cool coping-saw kind of thing in the pipe aisle at Home Depot, and naturally, I was drawn to it. But I figured I would check the other saws in the tool area. I decided to get a ten-dollar Stanley saw with an ergonomic handle. You put a hacksaw bit in the handle, and the part that sticks out is what you saw with. It’s for tight places. I now think it may have been a dumb buy, since the blade is unsupported. It came with a second blade, sort of like a keyhole saw, but it was worthless for PVC. I got my hacksaw from the garage and went through the pipes in about thirty seconds each.

I have the pump-base concept figured out. The pump sits on a plastic mount that detaches. I’ll take the mount off, build a wooden form of the correct height, and pour concrent into it. I’ll use the mount as a jig to set lag shields into the wet concrete, with bolts already in them. If I put them in with no bolts, they won’t be expanded, and it will be impossible to drive bolts into them when the concrete dries. If it turns out the holes are too big and the shields slip, I have some concrete patching stuff that looks just like concrete. I’ll squirt some in the holes, put the shields in, and start over.

This sure beats waiting for an incompetent pool guy to show up, put the wrong pump in at an inflated price, and do everything badly. The way they always have in the past. The last pump wasn’t grounded. Nice.

I guess PVC is okay, if you’re willing to plan well. The trouble starts when you put things together without considering the hell you may be creating for the next person to work on the system.

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It works. It really works. I turned it on, and nothing bad happened.

Surely I am hallucinating.