No More Shades of Grey Here

Success is clinging to me like a bad smell.

Today I finally figured out how to clean my house. I don’t mean the inside of the house. I mean the outside. I have had algae, mold, and other things trying to take over ever since I moved here. The house is supposed to be white, but some parts are grey, and others are green.

Last week I got my dad’s pressure washer running, and I started pimping it out. I put a new hose on it, and I got an 18-foot lance. I even ordered some totally unnecessary chromed parts to replace rusted ones the Miami weather had messed up.

I used the washer to clean part of the driveway (special attachment), and I tried the narrow spray nozzle on the sides of the house. It turned out to be useless for this purpose. That surprised me.

I started Googling and reading.

I learned that there are products you can put in a pressure washer’s soap tank, to make it clean various things. Some of these products are detergents. Others are fungicides. Some contain bleach. I didn’t want to use bleach, because bleaching my house seemed like a good way to damage it, so I looked into other chemicals. The more I looked, the more I read that bleach was the way to go.

I also read–and I don’t know why this should surprise me–that you should never use bleach in a pressure washer. Apparently it eats the seals in the pump, as well as the O-rings in the hose and wand. Never, never, never use bleach in a pressure washer. That’s what they say. Unfortunately, they also say a pressure washer will not get a house clean without bleach, so everyone uses it.

I found out about a product called Mold Armor EZ House Wash. It contains bleach. It comes in a bottle that attaches to a hose. Reviewers said good things about it. They said you could stand on the ground and hose down your second story. That sounded good to me. Pressure washers can be hard to control, and I didn’t want to bleach myself as well as the house. I bought some Mold Armor EZ House Wash and tried it. I have incredible water pressure, so I figured it would work great.

It turns out this product will, in fact, reach the second story of your house. Provided you live in a Barbie Beach House. I found that it sprayed about 8 feet. I could barely reach my first-floor soffit. What a ripoff. Who writes these bogus reviews?

It’s also weak. It didn’t do a great job on the things it managed to hit. It’s also awkward to use. It’s not easy to aim it and turn the bleach flow on and off without hitting the wrong things.

I decided to give the pressure washer a try. I made a solution of about 4 parts water and 1 part 10% pool chlorine, along with a generous squirt of Dawn. I put it in the pressure washer’s tank and blasted the side of the house It shot all the way up to to the roof of the second story. No need for the 18-foot lance, and no need to climb out an upstairs window and walk on the roof. Nice.

It was beautiful. I bleached the house, and in a few minutes, the area I sprayed was nearly white. I was able to use the rinse setting on the pressure washer to get the chlorine off the wall and my plants.

It was so easy, it was ridiculous. When I was done, I needed to empty the soap tank, so I sprayed the driveway. Bonus! I can use the pressure washer to improve the driveway after getting the bulk of the crud off with the hard surface attachment. You can apply bleach to a driveway with a mop, but the pressure washer will do 150 square feet in one minute.

My neighbor paid some dude $300 to wash his house. I figure I can do my house in an easy three hours.

Now…what about the pump? Won’t the chlorine eat it?

Maybe the pump will die, but guess what a replacement pump costs? I’ll tell you: $80. Hmm…pay some guy $300 every time I see mold, or spend $80 on a new pump every three years. Tough call.

If you go to a ripoff parts site to get the pump, it runs $163. Forget that noise. Ebay!

The washer has a great Honda motor with Easy Start, and the pump is easy to replace, so I see no reason why I shouldn’t be able to keep it running a very long time. I can go ahead and buy a new pump now, and when the old one dies, I won’t have to wait for shipping.

Here’s something I didn’t know: unless you spend four figures on a pressure washer, you should expect the pump to crap out in a couple of years. They don’t put this information on the box in big orange letters. They expect homeowners to use their machines very little, so cheap pumps are standard. It’s really sneaky. They give you a great Honda motor so you feel like you bought a quality machine, but they don’t tell you the motor will outlive 10 pumps.

I also bought a pressurized can of pump protector. It’s a greasy substance–possibly grease–you’re supposed to shoot into your pump every time you store it for a long period. This is another thing they don’t mention on the box. I decided I’m going to use it every time I use bleach. Can’t hurt, and it cost 6 bucks.

A better pressure washer will run a grand or more. The one I’m using cost $300, and it works great. I can go through 7 pumps before I reach the point where I’ve spent what a better machine would cost. A better machine would pump more water, and it would be adjustable, which would be nice, but at the moment, my washer is doing everything I want it to.

I feel like keeping this washer alive far past its time, just to make a point.

The carb is still surging, which is annoying, but today my wire gauge drill bit set arrived, so I should be able to clear the carb today or tomorrow. If I can’t manage it, I’ll have to spend the princely sum of $15 on a Chinese replacement.

Unreliable sources say American Indians came up with the saying, “It is a good day to die.” I would counter with, “It is a good day to live.” When your pressure washer is working and you have a new set of wire gauge drill bits, it’s hard to lack enthusiasm for life.

In even better news, I managed to fix problems with a deed to one of my properties. It has now been accepted and recorded, and the property in question is officially out of my dad’s estate, bringing me one step closer to getting probate over with. Yeah, baby!

Tomorrow I’m hoping to contact a couple of people who can help me get agricultural tax exemptions for my house, and if that works, my property taxes will be cut in half. I’m eager to get that over with.

The 23rd psalm says, “Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the Lord forever.” When I spend time with God in the morning, I recite that, and I say, “Today is one of the days of my life, so it must apply.” It says “ALL the days of my life.”

Can’t wait to see the rest of the house brightened up.