Step Away From Cursed People

My dad and my sister shared some problems. They both hoarded things, and they didn’t take care of what they had. My sister destroyed a house by failing to do normal maintenance and cleaning, and my dad would have done the same thing to his own house, had I not stepped in from time to time. They drove filthy cars. My dad didn’t take care of his boat, so it was normal to have problems when we took it out.

My dad used to get very angry with my mother and me when we talked to him about taking care of things. If one of us pointed out termite droppings or wet spots on the ceiling, for example, he would raise his voice and ask if we wanted to pay for the repairs. It was very unpleasant, so we both adopted the same strategy: keep quiet until there was a disaster. When the ceiling fell in, he was willing to let me call a roofer. Before that, talking about roof leaks was a bad idea.

My sister’s house had a water leak under the floor. She said her monthly water bill was between 300 and 400 dollars, but instead of hiring a plumber, she just paid the bills and lived with the termites, ants, roaches, and rats the water attracted. Her living room floor eventually caved in. At some point, a hot water connection under her kitchen sink broke, and the house filled with steam. When the steam dissipated, she assumed everything was all right. Of course, the steam was gone because the water heater couldn’t keep up with the flow. The interior walls of the house turned black with mold within a few days.

My dad kept junk that served no purpose. He printed out thousands of emails and kept them. After I took over his office, I threw out maybe 200 pounds of useless papers. My sister could not walk 30 feet in a store without picking up something to buy, and her house was so full of unneeded things, it was hard to walk in some rooms.

I don’t like saying negative things about my dad these days. I used to get relief from it. I vented. He used to gaslight me a lot, and when people gaslight you, you vent in order to confirm your own sanity to yourself. I don’t need to vent now. When my dad died, he was a wonderful father, and he loved God. I don’t enjoy criticizing him, but sometimes I have to say unpleasant things in order to make a point.

I was unequally yoked with my dad. I chose to stay with him when I went to law school, and I chose to work with him afterward. I believe God sentenced me to spend years dealing with him because of my bad choices. Eventually, I understood that it was wrong to be so close to someone who hated God, and I wanted to be free. I kept telling God I would never have another unequal yoking. I hoped that once my yoking to my dad was over, I would be free of some of his curses.

I believe my dad and my sister were cursed. Hoarding and letting things fall apart around you are abnormal behaviors. Their problems went beyond these things. Their property suffered unusual damage and wear, and it was hard to fix things when they went wrong. Contractors ran off with their money and didn’t do their jobs. Repairs turned out to be unsuccessful. Things that shouldn’t have gone wrong, did.

For a long time, I have hoped that I would not have to deal with these curses after my dad’s death. I managed his affairs, and even though I was a Christian with a good prayer life, it was hard to take care of his property. Bad things kept happening. Problems resisted correction.

When he bought what is now my house, a bolt of lightning destroyed a maple tree by the driveway. The main air conditioner in the house had to be replaced right away, and it leaked water that buckled some flooring. Three weeks after we moved in, Hurricane Irma knocked trees down all over the property. I had surprising difficulty in moving trees and burning them. My chainsaws got gummed up. My generator clogged up. I also had terrible problems with the lawn. I bought an expensive sweeper to get rid of oak leaves, and I installed mulching blades on the mower. These things didn’t help. I searched the Internet, and I asked many people for advice. I got nowhere.

I also felt a powerful sense of dread when it came to getting going on fixing things. I holed up and let many things go. I had to fight the dread every day. I felt great resistance.

I felt that the problems had to be related to our unequal yoking. My own belongings usually fare pretty well. The record isn’t perfect, but I am not a hoarder, I take fairly good care of my things, and I don’t think I would ever let a house get condemned.

Now that my dad is gone, things have changed a great deal. A chainsaw I could not get fixed is finally okay. My pruner’s carb was clogged up, and I found a $15 Chinese carb on Ebay that was actually superior, so I didn’t have to pay anyone to fix the old one (I listed the price incorrectly as $11 in an earlier post). I got rid of a horrible overgrown tree in a concrete planter beside the pool; it had been ruining the patio. I got my dad’s old neglected pressure washer out, and when I looked for information on fixing it, I found a Youtube video featuring the exact same machine with the same problem. I fixed it very quickly, and yesterday I blasted all sorts of crap off the patio. I even found I could remove green discoloration from the screen enclosure; that had been driving me crazy.

I finally found out how to avoid the problems ethanol gas causes with small engines. You would be surprised how hard it is to get that information. The advice you get through casual Internet searches and from reading product manuals is wrong.

I couldn’t get anything to grow here. Now I have three healthy grapevines and two strong blackberry briars growing by my garage.

The tax collector’s office is going to connect me with someone who will mow my pasture for nothing and reduce my property taxes; I’ll get an exemption as a hay producer. I bought a harrow to loosen the oak leaves in my lawn, and now I’m removing and dumping leaves and other debris at a very fast pace. My lawn is going to come back.

I got an 18-foot extension for the pressure cleaner, so I’ll be able to clean the entire house. I found a great video on pressure-washing concrete. It showed me I need an accessory that will make all my pavement look great.

Before my dad died, I could not get rid of the house my sister used to own. It seemed like it was impossible to sell. Now I have a contract on it, and two other buyers are waiting in the wings. I could not figure out what to do with my dad’s old house, but now I’m in the process of listing it.

I was planning to mow the swale by the highway to my east, to keep weeds and trees out. Yesterday I was driving home, and I saw that someone had just mowed it. I assume it was the county. Beautiful.

My house is very clean. It’s considerably cleaner than I’m used to. I have never had the kind of gross habits my dad and my sister had, but I was not neat, either. I love living in a clean house. I still need to order it, but that’s happening.

Before my dad accepted Jesus, I had a great deal of stress in my life, and I had problems that seemed impervious to my natural and supernatural efforts. When he moved to assisted living and started praying with me, things improved dramatically. Now that he’s gone, I sleep well. I don’t worry. Problems keep dissolving. I feel God’s joy in my heart. I marvel at my happiness and how well God is treating me. It may seem strange to hear that an old man who lives alone on a big farm could be enjoying life so much, but it’s true. I wish I had gotten rid of my unhealthy relationships earlier in life.

I also keep feeling that God is going to put me together with a lady I know. I have been wrong about things like that before, so I won’t predict anything, but I keep seeing surprising confirmation.

Unequal yokings are extremely destructive. Let them go. God wants you to pray for your enemies; he does not want you to live with them, marry them, work with them, be close friends with them, or partner with them in business. If you choose unequal yokings, you will pay. There is no way around it.

I recall a Christian writer saying unbelievers were like black holes. Boy, is that true. God is like a sun that shines and makes us grow, and strong Christians also feed and help those around them. Unbelievers who won’t listen seem to suck light in and deprive the rest of us. They waste and destroy. The things you do for them impoverish you and don’t help them. Being around them drains you.

Don’t make the mistakes I made. Clear your life of toxic people as soon as you can. You may be stuck with a spouse or a minor child, but you can get free of a boyfriend, girlfriend, fiance, fiancee, brother, sister, partner, or friend who is corrupting your life.

I had a visit from a Christian friend yesterday, and he asked about someone I knew in Miami. I had to relay some bad news. My Miami “friend” had been cut loose. I realized I only heard from him when he wanted something. He took advantage of me and people I knew. He treated people disrespectfully. He would do things like borrowing tools and letting them sit in his yard in the rain. He used racist language.

When I took him fishing, while the other guests cleaned up the boat, he came and stood beside me at the fish-cleaning table with a beer in his hand, chuckling because he had left them with the hard work.

He was envious; he could not be trusted to borrow tools and not damage them “accidentally.” He blew up and threw tantrums. He had a lot of bad ideas, but he always had to be in charge.

I’ll tell you a story about him. We used to give each other birthday presents. I always got him nice things. For example, I got him a big Forschner knife for use while barbecuing. One year, he gave me a plastic toy. It was a big pink pig in leathers, sitting on a plastic Harley. When you flipped a switch, it oinked, and lights flashed. He said, “It’s YOU!”

This was probably something from a store like Tuesday Morning, where they sell junk other stores couldn’t unload. As soon as I got home, I threw it on the trash pile by the street. I did not open it or even take it inside.

On another occasion, he asked he if he could take a look at a cigar I was smoking. I handed it to him, and he threw it down–on my patio–and made a remark about how I shouldn’t smoke Cuban cigars.

This person, who was not accomplished or admired by people who knew him, always tried to make me feel ashamed of myself, as though I were inferior to him. I was highly educated and had a number of things going for me, but I felt bad nearly every time I was with him.

When God showed me I was only negatively impacted by this person, I let him go, instantly. I never explained. I never regretted it. It was great to be rid of him, because I felt so much better. I used to pray for him, but I don’t even do that any more. He’s a grown man, and he knows what he’s doing.

You may have someone like this in your life. Maybe they like to say they love you, and you believe it. If a person loves you, he will treat you well. If you’re not being treated well, you are selling yourself cheap, and you need to cut the cord. God told me it’s more important to weed the wrong people out of your life than to include the right people.

It can’t think of anyone I regret cutting out of my life, but I can think of a lot of people I regret including.

Derek Prince spoke about our value, and he made a good point. A thing’s value is whatever someone will pay for it. Jesus allowed himself to be tortured to death so he could have you, so you must be very valuable.

Who is a mere man to tell you you’re not valuable, or that you should live in constant shame? Without the Holy Spirit, a man is just a rat that walks on two legs. Would you let a rat shame you?

Ask God to help you get rid of your unequal yokings. Repent. Apologize for forming them. If you want God’s help and his joy to flow in your life, you need to get rid of the immature people who stop you up like gallstones.

On another note, God showed me something very good this week. He gave me a phrase: “I forget what I was.”

Often, I forget that I used to be a real idiot. I have made fun of people who believe in the prosperity gospel, but in the 1980’s, I believed it, because I hadn’t heard otherwise from the Holy Spirit. I have been very hard on people who think Steve Munsey’s awful teachings about Jewish holidays are sound, but I gave money in one of the Munsey-based drives Trinity Church in Miami mounted. I knew very little about God until I was 40, and what I did know, I threw away. I wasted years.

All the revelation I’ve had is just that: revelation. It’s an inheritance, not something I earned. I didn’t think any of it up. When I used to try to figure God out, I got it wrong. I didn’t know much of value until the Holy Spirit came out and told me. I still have to resist the feeling that I came up with these ideas myself. It’s a delusion.

Psalm 1 says a man is blessed if he doesn’t sit in the seat of the scornful. Who has been more scornful than I? I have been cruel to people who knew less, even though I used to be one of them. I thought ridicule was a good thing.

If I understand the Bible correctly, it says we have to be charitable to people who sin, because if we are not, we may fall into temptation, ourselves. I don’t want to be a slave to sin. Also, I don’t want to be an obnoxious person who drives people away from God with a self-righteous attitude.

I’m going to keep this new information in mind. I want to be improved.

One benefit of ridding yourself of unequal yokings is that you will be free from pressure to be part of today’s culture of cruelty and ridicule. You will tend to become like the people you associate with, and these days, everyone loves pride and cruelty.

I hope God keeps blessing and correcting me. I really want to get rid of those awful oak leaves.