I Have a Million of These

Mr. Tool Idiot has struck again.

I had an electric leaf blower in the garage. It was always in the way. I had a Rubbermaid hook designed to hold up yard tools. I figured it was time to introduce them to each other. The hook wasn’t designed for this thing, but I found a way to make them work together, and I decided to put the hook about nine feet off the ground so I could reach up and hang the blower far out of my way.

No problem. I unfolded my ladder and set it up. I drilled a 1/4″ hole with my wonderful hammer drill. I inserted a plastic anchor and used my Panasonic impact driver to drive a screw into it. I marked the position for the other screw. I swung the hook out of the way. I drilled the hole, seated the anchor, and started driving the screw. And when it got down to the surface of the hook IT POPPED OFF NEARLY FLUSH WITH THE WALL.

Damn, Rubbermaid gave me crappy screws! I’ve never had a screw just pop off like that. A decent screw will strip before it will break. This one was almost like pot metal. And now I had half a millimeter of screw sticking out of the wall, with a plastic anchor preventing me from gripping it.

Vise-Grips were useless. I didn’t know what to do. Finally I remembered…the expensive propane torch one of you numbskulls tempted me into buying. I might be able to melt the anchor, exposing more of the screw, and then maybe I’d be able to get it out with Vise-Grips. And naturally, once I had this idea, I couldn’t find the damn torch. So I got up there and held a Bic lighter up to the screw. And believe it or not, it worked. I was able to grab the screw and back it out, and I replaced it with a better one.

I’m still mad. Things like this just shouldn’t happen.

I can’t remember who it was…that person who, knowing I have no willpower, told me I needed a propane torch. But I owe him. Otherwise I’d be out in the garage, sobbing.

While I was out there I noticed something horrible. A little oil where the T-bird sits. Just enough to be annoying. I hope to God it came out around the oil filter gasket. I can just hear the thief with his name on his shirt now. “That engine’s going to have to come out.”