ALF Quest Ends in 14-1/2 Hours

I thought this day would never come. My dad is scheduled to move to a permanent ALF tomorrow morning!

I can’t tell you how much I’ve hated the suspense since moving him into his current ALF. I stuck him in there, hoping it would be a good place for him to spend the rest of his life. I found out it wasn’t up to par, and he hated it, so I had to run around searching for better alternatives. Instead of making the house my own and getting back on top of my responsibilities, I ended up spending a large percentage of each day trying to help my dad; it was exactly what I had hoped to be done with.

Today the lady who runs the new ALF met with us, and my dad passed muster. She’s going to send someone to pick him up at 10 a.m. I won’t even have to drive him. I think it’s safe to breathe again.

I wonder if it sounds selfish to talk about making the house my own. You have to understand the situation. My dad’s bedroom furniture is a mess, and it needs to be given away. I had to dedicate the living room to him, so the only furniture I bought for that room was a lift recliner. We’re still using the awful Scarface-era glass coffee tables and a couple of end tables he bought for some woman he dated while he and my mother were divorced. That woman got better treatment than my mother; I don’t want to be reminded of her.

The fridge needs to be mopped out with bleach. I want to give away the old dresser he and my mother bought right after they got married, because it reminds me of the worst times of my life. I have two armchairs my mother got from my cousins after her sister died, and they’re terrible. I have extra sets of dishes and flatware I only kept so my dad wouldn’t contaminate my own things.

I still find myself reaching to hide food in cupboards instead of putting it in the pantry.

I have never been able to use the living room. It was just a place for my dad to sit and make a mess while he passed the time. I couldn’t spend time there because he would have monopolized my attention and made constant demands. Also, I didn’t want to touch anything because he was so dirty.

I guess I should move into the master suite, after replacing the carpet. It’s a little odd to live in an upstairs bedroom in your own house while the master suite stays empty.

Maybe I’ll get a double bed instead of a queen. Big beds suck up space, and I don’t need all that elbow room. I don’t understand the king size bed mentality.

Once I get him moved, I plan to abandon him for a couple of days so he will mingle. After that, I figure I’ll visit him three times a week. I can’t keep going every day. Maybe I can eventually cut back to two weekly visits. I want to do what’s right for him, but assisted living serves no purpose if I’m still dedicating too much time to him.

As much as I suffered with his care, and as bad as his attitude was at times, I miss him. When I planned the move up here, I didn’t think much about what it would be like to be without him in a big house. We needed the space while he was living downstairs, but now it’s just me and two birds.

Man. I’ll be able to travel after this week. I won’t have to look for respite care and cart my dad off, like last time. I can just board the birds, get in the car, and go. I could conceivably get on a plane again. I feel like flying to a place where they have mountains and taking a train ride.

I should drive to Tennessee and spend a week looking around, checking out various areas. Ocala is wonderful, but I feel like I want to be in Appalachia when I die. I don’t want to die on sand.

I can get rid of DirecTV this week! I’ll be signing the ALF contract tomorrow, and after that, I’ll feel like it’s safe to cut the cord. I have to decide what I want to do. I already cut it down to basic service.

It looks like Hulu might be a good bet for me. For $40 per month, I’ll get Turner Classic Movies, Motor Trend (formerly Velocity TV), Fox News, and some other junk. I can’t recall the last time I watched any channel other than Motor Trend and TCM.

This is going to be very strange. I’ll have to get used to having time to do things, as well as freedom to make quick decisions.

Today I talked to my dad, and he said some odd things. I told him there was a church near the new ALF, and I said I would like to take him there on Sundays. He said that when people are in the middle of their lives, they lose interest in church, but when they get old, they become interested again. I can’t figure that out, coming from the guy who hated God for so many decades. I seriously wonder if parts of his brain that helped him hate God aren’t working any more. Whatever the reason is, I plan to see what I can do about getting him to services.

Tomorrow I’ll sign him up, and then the restructuring begins. Tonight I plan to go to bed early and sleep so hard I make a permanent dent in the mattress.