One More Thing I’ve Done Wrong

I am repeatedly amazed at God’s ability to surprise me by telling me things I already know. How can such a thing be possible?

Last night during prayer, I thought about the problems in my life, and I wondered what I was still doing wrong. I’ve been baptized with water and the Holy Spirit. When I was baptized with water, I committed to dying to the flesh, so I believe I did things correctly. I have a strong prayer life. I have been getting a lot of help with sanctification; God has given me the grace to give up a number of things that were holding me captive. I’ve also been asking God to change me so his love flows through me; Christians barely mention love these days, but it’s God’s top priority.

God gives me phrases from time to time, and here is what he gave me last night: “I forgot about the sacrifice.”

While I was at a Last Reformation event a little over three weeks ago, Torben Sondergaard criticized what he called “the American gospel.” It works like this: if you figure out what you want to do with your life, God will help you do it. It’s selfish, and if it worked, most of us would end up in the wrong situations.

It reminds me of something that happened when I was a kid. Teachers would ask me and my classmates what we wanted to be when we grew up, and the boys always said they wanted to be cops, firemen, or Superman. The girls said they wanted to be ballerinas. Think how stupid our society would be if we got the choices we made as children.

Christians want high-status jobs and lots of money. We also try to turn our desires into tempting packages for God. A Christian will say, “Make me a famous singer, and I’ll sing about you all the time,” or, “Give me a big, wealthy church to lead, and I’ll serve you all of my life.” Feel-good preachers tell us God will honor our choices.

What does the Bible say?

“He who loves his life will lose it.”

“I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service.”

If you want God on your side, you have to be on his. You have to put everything on the altar. You have to look at all the things you cherish, including ones you don’t yet have, and let God know you are willing to give up every last one of them in order to be put on the path he has chosen.

Many of us think we’re dying to self and crucifying the flesh when we stop fornicating and doing other things that are obviously wrong. There is more to it than that. You have to offer God your dreams. You have to be willing to give up your career plans. You have to tell him it’s okay if you never marry or have children.

You can be a teetotalling virgin who is nice to everyone while still turning your own desires into idols.

The Bible says God will give us the desires of our heart. How can that be true if we have to put them on the altar? First of all, his promise doesn’t apply to all of our desires. If your desire is to be a successful pimp, don’t expect help. If you have a set of desires when you decide to follow Jesus, God will only help you with the ones he approves of. Second, God will give you new desires as you grow, and he will definitely fulfill those desires.

I told God he can have whatever he wants. If I’m supposed to die single, fine. If I have to give up activities I love, like writing, music, STEM pursuits, shooting, and using tools, I will go along with it. If he wants me to live in a place I wouldn’t have chosen, I’ll comply.

I also told him there was no possible way I could give up my plans and cravings without his help. The Bible says we put the deeds of the body to death by the Spirit, not with our own strength.

A Christian is supposed to be the head, not the tail. God told me this: “The head sees things, and reaches them, first.” If you’re the head down here on earth, you will have to lead, and that means you will have greater obligations than everyone else. You can’t look at other people’s lives and tell God it’s not fair that they get things you don’t get. They get trivial things. If you serve God, you are on track to receive great things of eternal value. If you complain about what you have to give, you have to consider what you stand to receive.

Your friends who don’t give much up for God will not get as much from him as you will.

Jesus gave up wealth, longevity, popularity, and family. He was our head. He sacrificed himself before we did, and he gave up more. Now he sits in heaven beside the father. That’s a pretty good return on 33 years of service. If God asks you to give up more than your neighbor, it’s because he intends to give you more.

Today I read about Yitzhak Perlman, the violinist. He discussed his childhood. He struggled with practice. You can imagine what it was like. He was indoors with the violin, and kids he knew were outside having fun. It sounds rough until you compare their futures. The other kids went on to become ordinary people with ordinary jobs, and Perlman became a famous and wealthy musician.

In some ways, this life is like a childhood full of violin practice. There are movies you can’t watch. There are things you can’t say or do. There are emotions you can’t allow yourself to have. There is a lot of deprivation. The payoff comes later, and while you’re here, you’ll have a life of peace, fulfillment, and miraculous help.

I know God doesn’t take away everything we put on the altar. That’s a comfort.

I already knew I was supposed to “die to the flesh,” but until last night, I didn’t have a deep, heartfelt understanding of it. I don’t know how I could have been wrong, since it was so obvious.

We will see what God takes and what he leaves behind. I will keep posting updates.