Self-Pity is a Root of Many Problems

I continue to look forward to getting a proper water baptism. I keep watching videos of people who have wonderful testimonies of freedom from demons and relief from iniquity. I can’t wait to get it over with. I am convinced the people who baptized me didn’t know what they were doing, and my understanding was completely inadequate.

Protestants who refuse to baptize babies are quick to criticize other churches. We say baby baptisms are worthless because the recipients can’t possibly understand what’s happening. In the Bible, it’s very clear that baptism was something people chose to do. We don’t see people dragging each other into the Jordan against their will so John can force them under, and we don’t see anyone baptized in ignorance.

We like to point these things out, but at the same time, we baptize people who don’t really understand what’s happening. How is that different from baptizing a baby? The same fundamental problem exists. If you don’t know what baptism means, it can’t do what it’s supposed to do.

I feel that baptism functions as a sort of flea dip, to rid us of demons. It certainly seems that way. Peter compared it to the flood, which rid the world of people who later became demons, and people who are baptized at The Last Reformation events routinely testify that demons leave them and iniquities (compulsions to sin) go away.

Baptism comes from Jewish ritual immersion, which is intended to be a cleansing experience to take away impurity. People are full of demons. It would be a little strange if God gave us a cleansing ritual that only cleaned the body while leaving filthy spirits free to run us.

Jesus criticized the Pharisees because they only cleaned the outside of the vessel. You can see this idea in various places in scripture. It’s what he was referring to when he said the Pharisees were whitewashed tombs full of dead men’s bones. In the Bible, bones can represent spirits. A whitewashed tomb full of dead mean’s bones is a man full of the spirits of angel-sired half-breeds.

I’m hoping for good results. We will see what happens. It won’t be long.

I keep praying for God to derail the predictable Satanic efforts to keep me from going.

This morning God showed me something interesting. I was thinking about self-pity and the way it feeds other iniquities. If you pity yourself and feel cheated, you will look for ways to offset the damages. You will view certain foods as treats to make yourself feel better. You may feel entitled to a certain amount of sexual sin. You may decide it’s okay to damage or steal from businesses owned by Whites and Asians. You may choose to attack Jews.

You may think forced redistribution of wealth is okay.

Self-pity turns you into a mother figure for yourself. You will tend to spoil yourself and tell yourself everything you do is okay. That’s pretty gross. Nothing is more disgusting than a grown man who wants to be mothered, and few things are more annoying than being mothered.

I was thinking about these things, and God showed me that my problem, as far as self-pity goes, was the sin of Sarah.

When God told Abraham he was going to have a son in spite of his age, Sarah laughed. She did not have faith. Then she lied to God and said she didn’t laugh. Because it took a long time for the promise to come true, Sarah decided to force it to come true. She pushed Abraham to sleep with a servant woman of dubious character, and Ishmael was born. The Jews and the world would have been a lot better off without Ishmael. He gave rise to troublesome nations that still make the rest of us suffer.

Sarah didn’t think God was doing enough for her, and she didn’t believe he would ever come through, so she decided to spoil herself and Abraham. She decided to provide her own blessing. What a mistake. What a sin.

We do what Sarah did all the time. If God doesn’t bring you a wife soon enough, you fornicate and look at porn. If God doesn’t bring you a husband soon enough, you buy 7 cats and eat ice cream every night. If God doesn’t prosper your business, you cut corners and cheat. We bless ourselves as well as we can, because we’re not willing to wait for God. The fake blessings we create cause lots of problems for us.

It’s interesting stuff.

Of course, Sarah was not the only one who acted this way. Aaron’s sons put strange fire on the altar instead of waiting for God’s fire. Saul performed a sacrifice instead of waiting for a priest, and he consulted a witch instead of waiting for a prophet. It’s a common pattern.

When you turn to God without being freed from iniquity, you find yourself straining every day. You still want to sin, but you force yourself to refrain. Something inside you tells you, “It’s okay to let go today; God doesn’t mind if you take a break.” Iniquity makes us want cheat days, like bodybuilders who eat revolting food 6 days a week and have to give in on the 7th. If God changes your heart and drives out your demons, you shouldn’t want or feel entitled to breaks from holiness.

In other news, I learned something interesting about Andrew Wommack. He is a popular charismatic preacher. I met him when he came to Miami. He has a lot of sound teaching, but he is not totally trustworthy (Who is?). When I saw him speak, he praised Joyce Meyer, who is way out there in the prosperity gospel wilderness.

I just learned that he endorses Kenneth Copeland, who is extremely, extremely messed up. Copeland is angry and nasty, he has made a number of false prophecies, he has made himself extremely rich on offerings, he owns several jets, he teaches the vilest version of the prosperity gospel this side of Robert Tilton, and he is taking part in the bizarre one-world religion drive. He is spiritually radioactive.

On a website, Wommack endorses him as a person who brings people to maturity in Christ. That’s way off. In reality, Copeland keeps people from maturing. He makes them focus on money instead of becoming new creations.

Copeland was one of my sister’s favorites. She sent him money. His ministry called her often and expressed concern about her. WHEN SHE STOPPED GIVING! Not before.

That was pretty transparent. It showed where their hearts were. When she lost her house and went into a rehab facility and then a homeless shelter, neither he nor any of the other money preachers offered her a refund or any other type of help.

I have been off Wommack for a few years, and I would suggest that other people be careful with him, too.

Any preacher who focuses on blessings that are primarily selfish is dangerous. I’m hoping to be blessed at the TLR event I’m attending, but look what they offer: freedom from iniquity, freedom from demons, help in dedicating myself completely to God…these are things that relate to seeking first God’s kingdom and his righteousness (as Jesus commanded). It’s not like going to Creflo Dollar’s church and paying God a bribe so he will bring you a new Mercedes.

Every blessing appeals to self-interest to some degree; if that weren’t true, we would not call them blessings. But we should put God’s desires first.

I’m concerned about getting too connected to misguided preachers. Some serve demons in a big way, and I believe that joining forces with them opens the door to demons, the same way owning a Ouija board or an idol would.

My mother discovered a preacher named Roland Buck. He wrote a book in which he claimed angels visited him and told him things. I used to think it was pretty good, because so much of it rang true. I was not smart enough to ask why he had to rely on angels in the age of Holy Spirit baptism.

Angels are very dangerous, because, hello, a third of them serve Satan, who is also an angel. The Muslims claim their cult was started by an angel. The Mormons claim their cult was also started by an angel. The Bible warns against worshiping “the host of heaven.” It warns about listening to unscriptural doctrine, even when it comes from angels.

We should not be going to angels for doctrine, because they lie. God gave us the Holy Spirit to teach us. He’s not going to send angels to second-guess the Holy Spirit. When you hear directly from God, it makes no sense to send angels to teach you.

I threw Buck’s book out. The Bible says you can be destroyed along with the cursed objects you possess. I don’t want to be in the line of fire.

Incidentally, Buck endorsed the prosperity gospel. He said people who gave his church money got richer and richer. For all I know, Satan made this happen in his church. On the other hand, maybe Buck lied or simply didn’t look carefully at the facts. Giving money to churches generally does not lead to financial help from God, and if you give wrongly, it leads to poverty and the removal of blessings.

I don’t know if I’ll start a kerfuffle by saying this, but someone gave me a book about a new movement, and I threw it out, too. They have a new doctrine that involves visualizing past experiences and asking Jesus to show up and tell you where he was at the time. I gave it a sincere effort, in order to be open-minded, and nothing at all happened. I had bad feelings about the players in the ministry when I watched their videos. I think they’re in trouble, so while it was very thoughtful to provide me with the book, I got rid of it. I don’t want to have a problem with God because of it.

After I wrote that, I felt a weight lift off me.

The things TLR does seem safe. They are scriptural. They baptize for the remission of sin, with repentance and prayer beforehand. They baptize with the Holy Spirit. They cast out demons. They teach discipleship, not just ways to be blessed. They heal the sick. It’s hard to find fault.

I believe I’m on solid ground, going to TLR’s event, but I’m not stupid enough to think they know everything. I will trust them as long as they don’t go off on a tangent, and if they do, I’ll listen to God instead.

As far as I know, there is no good denomination, and there is no perfect ministry. There are very bad denominations and ministries, and there are those that are healthier, but ultimately, you have to be able to receive doctrine from God, because no one else will always get it right. Even Peter (whom the Catholics believe to be infallible with regard to doctrine) made major mistakes.

Every denomination eventually comes up with traditions of men that cause people to live in bondage and pride.

I’m always safe when I pray in tongues and ask God to teach me. I have the only reliable source, so I don’t worry about whether this man or that woman has the answers. I have very low expectations of ministers.

That’s what’s happening today. I hope to see some real improvement in the near future.