“Don’t Bother God; We’ll Tell You Everything You Need to Know”

Last night I watched an interesting video in which a woman gave her testimony. She said she had been thrown out of a bus and killed. She said she found herself in hell and started crying out to Jesus. He took her to heaven and talked to her.

I am suspicious of people who tell stories about visiting heaven and hell. Many of them are fabulists who are looking for earthly rewards. A good hell story can make you rich. You can spend the rest of your life speaking at churches and taking offerings instead of working, and you can write books that sell. Some people want money. Others have a bizarre craving for fame. Because hell stories tend to pay off in one way or another, you have to scrutinize them carefully and ask God whether they are true.

There are a lot of hell stories that don’t ring true. One famous “witness” I don’t trust is a young lady named Sarah Boyanga. She says Jesus took her to heaven a number of times in 2012, and that he told her things she was to share with the world.

Boyanga claims Jesus showed her heaven and hell. She says she saw Michael Jackson and Amy Winehouse in hell. She says demons forced Jackson to dance, and while he was dancing, they threw spears into him.

She also says we need to pray for two minutes before we go to bed. Two minutes. She says this makes Jesus very happy.

I’ve been praying in tongues every day for years, and I can tell you it’s not a two-minute thing. You need to devote time to it. Around 20 minutes into it, it gets better. The more you pray in tongues, the better things go for you.

Jesus prayed all night before he was crucified. He criticized the disciples for refusing to pray “one hour” with him. Not two minutes.

When Elijah prayed for the drought to end, he sat down for quite a while, and he didn’t quit until he saw a cloud appear.

I don’t care who gets mad at me. I’ll say it. Sarah Boyanga is wrong. God is a father, and fathers want to spend time with their children. Prayer is the way we spend time with God.

Every successful parent knows there is no such thing as “quality time.” You can’t raise a child well, spending two minutes per day with him. I don’t care if it’s the best two minutes possible. Quantity matters, and no god who loves parents and children would create a system in which he only spent two minutes per day with his own offspring.

I suspect that her dad got her to make up stories.

Her dad is Benjamin Boyanga, and he runs a church in London. Obviously, a famous daughter can only help him make money.

I don’t believe Sarah Boyanga, but I think the lady who got thrown out of the bus is telling the truth. Her name is Paulina.

She was riding a bus. She was hurled out, and her skull was fractured. One hour after she died, she awoke in a hospital morgue.

Prior to the accident, she was a practicing Catholic. She went to mass. She confessed. She took communion. She prayed to Mary and the other “saints.” She had a big figurine collection. She tried to be good to people.

Paulina says she was thrown into hell, and evil spirits started ripping her flesh and telling her she was doomed forever. She didn’t believe she belonged in hell, because she was a Catholic. She cried out to Jesus, and he took her to heaven to talk to her.

She says she walked up a path to a waterfall, and Jesus was at the source of the water. She says the water cleansed her of “the dirt” from her past life.

That’s very interesting, because other people say water flows from the thrown of God, throughout heaven. The first psalm says a righteous man is like “a tree planted by the rivers of water.” Referring to the Holy Spirit, Jesus said he would cause living water to flow from within us, and that we would never thirst. Prayer in tongues is a sanctifying flow of living water. The words flow through us, from Jesus.

She also speaks of the peace of the presence of Jesus. When she was near him, she felt overwhelming love and peace surrounding her. That’s correct. I felt these things when Jesus visited me. I don’t think anyone could be near Jesus without feeling these things. It’s odd when anyone who claims to have met Jesus doesn’t mention the love and peace. Sarah Boyanga doesn’t mention feeling these things the first time she met him.

Paulina tried to tell Jesus she didn’t belong in hell because she was a good person, but he listed some things she had done to get herself in trouble. Her stepmother was a witch, and in order to get Paulina’s father, she had cast spells on Paulina’s mother, who died. Paulina had not forgiven her. Also, Paulina had led a worldly life, drinking and going to clubs and so on. Jesus also criticized her for worshiping Mary.

In the video, Paulina uses the words “Christian” and “Catholic” as though they were mutually exclusive. She says she used to be Catholic. She tried going back to her Catholic church after she met Jesus, and it didn’t work. She says she is a Christian now. That’s remarkable. She doesn’t just say her new path is a little better. She utterly rejects her old path.

Paulina claims she wanted to stay in heaven, but Jesus told her she had accomplished nothing for him on Earth. He said Christians obtained crowns in heaven for helping people receive salvation, and that she hadn’t done that. He said that if she made it to heaven, it would only be by the skin of her teeth. She chose to go back to Earth and serve God.

Catholicism is very strange. Catholics don’t talk about their view of other denominations much, but they believe we all go to hell, except possibly for a few super-worthy exceptions. They think people are born damned because of something called “original sin,” and that Mary was somehow spared this at the moment she was conceived. They say she never sinned, and that she remained a virgin all her life, even though the Bible says Jesus had brothers.

Obviously, if Mary didn’t sin, she didn’t need Jesus. How can anyone believe that? She would have been capable of saving us, herself. She could have spared her son by submitting to crucifixion. No normal mother would allow her son to die when she could take his place.

Catholics have a very long document called The Catechism of the Catholic Church, and it spells out official doctrine. It’s unbelievably tedious, which is one sign God had nothing to do with it. It’s full of references to the works of “saints” and so on. It’s like the Talmud, which is another collection of carnal material whose adherents obey it and reject scripture.

The catechism says “tradition” rules. It’s talking about things celebrated Catholics have said in the past. Augustine was a former pagan who knew nothing about God and twisted Christianity to fit his Hellenistic beliefs, but to Catholics, he is as much an authority as Moses or Paul.

We all remember what Jesus said about tradition. He said the Jews, by their tradition, nullified scripture, which is the word of God.

The catechism says all revelation comes through the pope and his bishops. Apparently, God is not allowed to talk to anyone else.

Nothing has changed. The pharisees just exchanged their Jewish robes for mitres, and Satan still runs the biggest church there is. It would be remarkable if he didn’t.

The catechism contains the idolatrous material about Mary. Not helpful. It’s like a cyanide pill at the bottom of an ice cream soda.

It doesn’t matter what a church’s name is or what its doctrine is at the outset. Sooner or later, Satan will take over, and men’s fantasies will supersede scripture. It happened to the Jews. It happened to Catholicism. It happens to charismatic churches.

It appears to be a lot easier to get to hell than I thought it was when I was young. It’s important to stay on top of things and remain informed.