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God has told me a lot of things since the last time I wrote about the little phrases he gives me, so I am here to catch up.

“You are the only authority.”

God has been stressing the importance of getting rid of the spirits I drew into myself in decades of ignorance and rebellion. My so-called teachers didn’t help me with this. My last pastor, to his credit, talked about demons and cast some out, but he didn’t understand how important they were, and he never talked about the importance of confession and repentance. If you don’t confess and repent, the demons you cast out generally come back with friends.

When I was a kid, churches were totally dead and without power. You sat in a pew and listened to useless criticism from a preacher who encouraged you to improve yourself instantaneously, without help, and you sang some boring hymns and, depending on the denomination, maybe you watched the adults eat a cracker. That’s what church was. Later on, I went to churches where they taught that demons were real, but the pastors were mainly concerned with satisfying their greed, so they didn’t do enough to get people delivered.

They didn’t want to tell people they needed to confess or that they had demons. They wanted money, money, money. They wanted butts in seats. They coddled their audiences and tickled their ears with comforting lies. “God is happy with you just as you are.” Imagine going to a doctor with a huge melanoma on your face and having him tell you you’re in perfect health. That’s what they were like.

Only one authority can give me a life of peace and victory. That’s God. There are rich and powerful people who seem to be doing well, but with few exceptions, they’re full of rot and failure. We judge them by the way they look, which is exactly what Satan wants. He holds them up and says, “Look. You don’t need God. Look at Kim Kardashian. Look at Beyonce.” He used to hold up Whitney Houston and Michael Jackson. He held up Anthony Bourdain. He held up losers who looked like winners. Anthony Bourdain is burning in agony right now, and he always will be.

He also points to godly, supernaturally people who live in obscurity and tells us they’re failures.

My life can’t work unless I give God complete authority, casting every competing spirit out, and allow his authority to flow through me. I can’t dip my toe in the pool and expect success. I have to jump in.

“Thank you for beauty.”

Some things work. Not everything is so corrupt I can’t take pleasure in it. I was getting into the shower, and I was looking at this wonderful home God gave me. I was thinking about the way peace and success were increasing in my life. I thought about the beauty of God’s shalom; his peace and prosperity. Then I heard, “Thank you for beauty.” This world is a cesspool and a death camp, but there are little footholds that help us bear it until we leave.

“I have to be a wisdom collector.”

I was thinking about the helpful things I learn. Consider the book of Proverbs. If you read it without thinking, it’s not that impressive, but if you try to apply every proverb, your life changes dramatically. Applying one proverb can be the difference between success and disaster.

Consider the warnings about slutty women in Proverbs 5. Many men have gone insane from syphilis because of brief indiscretions. The flesh has rotted off of their skulls. Go look up pictures. That can happen to you in 30 seconds of fornication. That’s just one way a trollop can destroy you. Millions of men have had good health all over their lives simply because they listened to Proverbs 5 once, and many men and families have been destroyed by quick acts of disobedience.

Wisdom is a big deal. Successful cultures impart wisdom to kids. Consider Jews and east Asians. They give their kids inheritances of wisdom and knowledge. People from these cultures tend to do well and stay out of prison and off government assistance. Now think about cultures that don’t pass knowledge and wisdom on. Think of American blacks, many of whom don’t have fathers. The majority of murders in America are committed by one eighth of the population: black people. They stay on the bottom because they have no guidance. Every generation starts with nothing.

My parents didn’t teach me much of anything. It’s a terrible thing to reflect on. My dad is 86, and he is still a source of destructive advice. I wasn’t cultivated. I grew like a watermelon seed spat out of a car window into a ditch. It’s amazing that I’m not dead. All I had to rely on was my own very poor judgment.

I have to collect wisdom, rely on it, and spread it to other people. There isn’t much hope for me, at my advanced age, but I can help others, and whatever time I have left will be improved considerably.

“You can’t be a worldly person.”

God gave me this for someone else, but it applies to every Christian. It’s not enough to refrain from things like murder, stealing, fornication, and drug and alcohol abuse. We have to insulate ourselves from worldly ideas. We have to quit watching TV all day. We have to stop listening to stupid, sinful entertainers who corrupt our minds. If you make your mind up to live in a godless city, work in a godless office, hang around with godless friends, and absorb godless entertainment, you will stay weak, and God won’t pay any attention to you when you come crying to him with your problems.

Remember the scene in The Godfather, where Amerigo Bonasera came to Don Corleone and asked him to kill the young men who raped his daughter? Corleone said he had always avoided him, thinking he was above him, and then when he needed him, he showed up begging for help. He turned him down. Bonasera hadn’t wanted anything to do with Corleone, but he called on his authority when he had a problem. God isn’t a mafioso, but the Bible makes it clear that people who don’t belong to him get limited help.

I feel like I need to keep moving away from unnecessary exposure to the world of the godless. I shouldn’t get too close to people who are in the process of being destroyed.

“You know already.”

When I confess to God, I have a hard time refraining from covering up. I feel like I have to shape my words so they don’t make him angry. I deny things that I feel. I want to make excuses. The thing is, God knows already. I can’t tell him anything he doesn’t know. The purpose of confession isn’t to inform him. It’s to get clean.

Were Adam and Eve cursed for eating the forbidden fruit? I’m not sure, but I know that even if God had forgiven that, they would still have been on the hook for refusing to take the blame. Eve blamed Satan. Adam blamed Eve. God told me this: “The concealment of a sin is worse than the sin itself.” Sin is bad, but denial is what makes you sick and causes you to rot.

I have to remember that God sees through me, so I can be honest and get cleansed and healed.

“You’ve given me supremacy.”

God has given us authority over everything. Our flesh. Evil spirits. Fallen people. Matter. We are supposed to exercise it, in humility and honesty, giving him the glory. It really works. When it doesn’t work, it’s us, not the system.

“Things get better, or things get worse.”

God was reminding me that it’s impossible to rest and feel like I don’t need to keep confessing and praying. You’re not okay just because you go to church and pray. When you turn back to God, you don’t instantly find yourself in a position of perfect protection and success. You have to keep growing. Every day, you have to dig inside yourself and work with God. If you’re not doing this, you’re rotting. You’re becoming more corrupt. You can’t stand still.

Unfortunately, this world is like an ocean, and we’re all treading water. If you become complacent, you sink.

Christians can be full of demons (most of us are). We can become possessed. We can go to hell; it’s full of Christians. Rest is for the dead, not us. Don’t stop doing maintenance.

“I am watching Satan fail.”

God was encouraging me. Good things keep happening in my life. It’s because God keeps correcting me. He keeps helping me to reach new levels of confession. I let go of things I haven’t wanted to acknowledge. Satan kept me captive by preventing me from confessing. Now that God is succeeding in improving my honesty, Satan is failing, and he will never stop failing unless I stop.

“Thank you for correction.”

God was reminding me what was at the root of the positive changes in my life.

“I am growing in hostile ground.”

This planet is not my home. It doesn’t work. It tries to kill me every day, literally. My body is unrefrigerated meat. Without God’s protection, I would be like a pile of green hamburger in three days. People are constantly trying to take what I have. They are looking for ways to hurt me. Bugs want to sting me. Germs want to make me ill and kill me. Demons swarm on me like flies on manure. This is a terrible place. I can’t let myself get attached to it, and I can’t let myself get the idea that things here will ever be ideal.

Many Christians think they have to change the world. That’s insane. Jesus himself could not change the world. He left. We’re going to be driven out, too. We’re supposed to be working with God to change individuals, starting with ourselves. The world has terminal cancer.

“Thank you for freedom.”

God keeps increasing my power over the spirits that assail me. When I was a little kid, spirits tormented me all day and every night. Loathsome people abused me. I couldn’t get victory over anyone. I had no relief. The more God aligns me with his program, the more power I have to drive my enemies off. He is giving me real freedom that lasts.

“Please save me from myself.”

I am the worst enemy I have. Think about it. No one else can sin for me. No one else can reject salvation. No one else can lie to God for me. I have all sorts of enemies, but the only reason they succeed is that I help them.

If God can save me from myself, no one else can touch me.

“I’ve been abused a lot, and I’m weary of people.”

I feel the air go out of my lungs when I say this. It’s so true. What a revelation.

Why do I love living in the country? Because I’m sick of people. Satan is able to use most people against me. No matter what I do, I can count on them mistreating me and arguing with me. I can count on them doing their best to tempt and provoke me. To make things worse, they never come up with anything new. Nothing is more vexing or discouraging than being attacked with the same nonsense over and over.

I’m not the only one who feels this way. God has the same problem. His love never runs out, but his patience does. Before the flood, he gave mankind 120 years to straighten up. Then he drowned everyone. He’s going to do it again, with fire.

God is exalted. He is to be obeyed and honored. He can’t really be God if he allows himself to be abused forever. It has to be a temporary thing. Order has to be restored.

The closer you get to God, the more alienated you feel. Other people seem more and more foreign. It becomes rarer and rarer to meet anyone who understands you or feels as you do. I find myself wanting to limit the time I spend with people. It’s nice to visit with people I care about, but it’s also very nice when they go home.

Thank God life is short. This place is a madhouse, and it’s dangerous.