We are Going to Have to Develop a Taste for It

It’s Winn-Dixie weekly ad day again. My joy is without limit. Let’s see.

Skirt steak, $4.99 a pound! Not bad!

Winn-Dixie sausage, two for $4.00! They make really nice breakfast sausage. No boar taint.

Boston Butt, $1.49. Ground chuck, $1.99. Wings, $1.79. I only wish they’d put rib roasts on sale again.

Al Gore has worked his magic for a second day in a row. It is a bone-chilling 60 degrees here, or at least it was when I checked. I am loving this global warming. I hope the cold weather, which indisputably proves that the planet is warming up, continues into May.

The other day I was web-surfing, and I saw some information about Edgar Cayce, the “sleeping prophet.” This guy used to lie down and say things he claimed were supernaturally inspired. My mother thought he was fascinating. On a web site touting his predictions, it said that in 1934, he foresaw that Hitler would rise to power! Wow! Incredible! Then I checked, and guess when Hitler became Chancellor of Germany? Uh…1933. So it looks like you can be a great psychic, just by predicting stuff that already happened. Al Gore is even worse. He predicts the opposite of what actually happens, and once it starts to become clear that he’s wrong, he continues to predict it.

Al, please…predict a sharp increase in oil prices. Predict defeat in Iraq. Predict that Keith Olbermann won’t retire.

I’m really hoping this weather will score me some more tomatoes. If I could get Brandywines, my life would be complete.

Speaking of crops, have you noticed the increasing furor over the ethanol scam? This is one of those great unifying scams, because the perpetrators are both conservative and liberal. Liberals started it, and conservatives realized the public was hopelessly brainwashed, so they went along with it. And now the liberal press is raising hell, because it’s starving people. Unfortunately, being liberal, confused journalists are now starting to tell us that the answer isn’t more energy. It’s not more refining capacity, responsible drilling efforts, and plentiful, clean, safe, cheap nuclear power. Oh, no. The answer is to give up meat, because livestock eat grain.

So instead of progress, in the form of more energy, lower energy prices, and increased industry and commmerce–the only things that can save us–the left wants us to eat an unhealthy diet which conforms to their bizarre and unpopular prejudices. In other words, leftism caused the energy problem, by denying us oil and nuclear power and coal and God knows what else, and they caused starvation by pushing ethanol, and now instead of taking responsibility and admitting their ideas are backward and wrong, they are using the situation to promote another backward and wrong leftist idea. So far, we are being starved by environmentalism, and we are expected to suffer more, in the name of animal rights. I’m wondering…when do we reach the point where this can somehow be used to promote Wicca and gay marriage? The hook has to be in there somewhere.

Toplessness. Maybe our problems can be solved by public toplessness. By women ill-suited to the practice. Liberals resorted to this to end the war in Iraq, so I guess it will also end the grain crisis.

The world is down to a three-month supply of grain right now. I sure hope our harvests are good until we reach the inevitable conclusion that ethanol is a sick joke.