Care Packages From God

I said I was going to come here and pass on things God said to me, and of course, I haven’t been doing it. I am back to make it right. Hope I don’t repeat anything.

1. “It doesn’t matter.”

Like most of the things God tells me, this doesn’t explode on the page and make people reel in astonishment, but it’s very powerful if you know what it means.

A long time ago, God told me I needed to pray in tongues a lot, and later, he told me that when I felt bad–edgy, anxious, angry, afraid, whatever (anything on the “HALT” list they use in anger management)–it meant I wasn’t praying in tongues enough. It doesn’t mean I’m not doing enough in the natural, although that may also be true. It means I’m thirsty for God’s presence and help, and that if I buckle down and drink, my problems will be resolved.

It works. It always works. It’s the primary thing I have to do, in order to get my life fixed. When I stop, things fall apart. When I start again, the oil goes back into the machinery.

2. “Where you are, there is victory.”

Here, God was referring to himself, although it would also apply to me when I’m in his will.

When you are truly in God’s presence, nothing can touch you. If he ever visits you, you will see what I’m talking about. While he’s there, you will realize you can’t have a problem.

3. “You are my perfect joy.”

I don’t recall what was going on when he gave me this, but it seems to comport with #2. If he visits you, joy is one of the things you will feel. You could say a lack of joy is the same thing as a lack of God’s presence.

4. “An excuse is a lie.”

That one hurt. I don’t mind admitting I make excuses, but I like to tell myself I’m honest. By earth standards, I am honest, but that’s a low standard.

An excuse is a lie you tell yourself so you can evade responsibility or protect your pride. Pride is what keeps you from growing, and it gives demons control over you. It’s like a wall they build around you, to keep God from evicting them.

5. “Don’t believe the lies.”

Here God was talking about strongholds. We’re always told we can’t succeed at this or that. We can’t get healed. We can’t get away from abusive people. We’re not good enough to contradict crazy preachers. Name your stronghold and insert it here.

The only real stronghold is damnation, as far as I know.

The devil will always tell you you’re too weak, too dumb, not righteous enough, or some other ridiculous thing, and he’ll build himself and his children up as though they were God. “You’ll never get your felony expunged, because the people handling your case hate you.” “You’ll never get out of prison early because the other inmates all say it’s impossible.” “You’ll never own your own house because you can’t get a good job and you have debt.”

A while back, God told me, “A stronghold usually has a barking dog standing in front of it.” The dogs bark to prevent you from trying to destroy the stronghold.

If a stronghold is really strong, it doesn’t need a barking dog out front. Hello? A barking dog is a sign the people inside are afraid of you. They know the situation better than you do, and they think you’re dangerous.

Look at Harvey Weinstein. Not to be self-righteous, but this man is a child of Satan. The devil made him rich and powerful. He poured money and support into evil leftist causes. He corrupted people by giving them success in an evil industry; look at Kevin Smith, who made a satirical porn movie and still thinks he’s a Christian. Weinstein was an ogre. He was one of Satan’s giants. He looked like he could never be brought down.

How long did it take Weinstein’s stronghold to crumble? A week? I don’t recall. It was fast. No one saw it coming. Especially not Weinstein.

That’s how Satan’s strongholds are, a lot of the time. Some wear down gradually, but many shatter instantly.

Weinstein was replaced by new giants. The masculinity-destroying #MeTooers. They’re against the abuse of women, suddenly; now that it’s fashionable. It was accepted for a hundred years, and then the very men and women who tolerated it and helped it continue decided to pipe up on Twitter and hold themselves out as righteous crusaders.

On a fundamental level, the #MeToo thing isn’t pro-women. It’s anti-male. Sexual abuse is terrible, but very few people in power cared about it until after they participated in the system and got rich. The culture of sexual abuse is a Satanic creation, but now he needs to damage it in order to attack masculinity.

It’s wild to see hypocrites going after Weinstein, James Toback, and the others. Actors and actresses who got rich by tolerating the system, and who have, for decades, been too powerful to hurt, abruptly started crowing about their disgust and outrage. They’re the problem. They let it happen. And they crave admiration so much, they’re telling people they’re the solution.

Meryl Streep is a #MeToo hawk. Come on. She’s been on top since what? Maybe 1980? She could have spoken out whenever she wanted. Ben Affleck tried to get on board. He made his pile 20 years ago. He was safe, but he only spoke up recently. Then he turned out to be a perpetrator.

Hollywood is an amazing place.

My guess is that #MeToo is part of the mounting Satanic hostility toward men, white people, Christians, and heterosexuals. There has to be a reason why Satan would go after a type of abuse he loves.

Anyway, Weinstein’s stronghold didn’t erode slowly. It shattered like glass. That’s not unusual. The dogs were out front, barking, “This man is too rich to take down. This man will crush you. He will never be defeated.” Now Weinstein is running around incognito, hoping his connections will save him from rape convictions.

Don’t listen to the dogs.

The other day I thought about another giant: Goliath. Look who killed him: a runt who herded sheep.

When Samuel went to Jesse to anoint one of his sons king, Jesse presented the big, impressive ones. He didn’t invite David, who was busy working. You can almost hear the dogs: “Obviously, Samuel wants one of these tall, good-looking, muscular guys. Only an idiot would disagree.” Samuel told Jesse to send for David, and the rest is history.

David killed lions and bears before he was king. Think about that. I got a revelation about it. I’m not afraid of animals in general, but I will not go near a large dog that wants to bite me. That’s scary. A dog can’t beat me in a fight, but it can do a lot of damage. I’m still afraid of being bitten, and I carry a gun and a knife. Think, then, about going after a bear or a lion with a sling. To a lion, a vicious dog is an hors d’ouevre.

Most people don’t hunt lions and bears, so we can’t relate to David. If all of us hunted them, we would know that lions and bears are very dangerous. They charge hunters and maul them. If you wound one and can’t fire again in time, you’re in for one of the worst experiences a human being can have. That’s how things are right now, in the age of the rifle.

Imagine getting close enough to a lion to hit it with a sling, and then slinging a rock at it. That would take real courage. We don’t understand that today. A big predator’s teeth and claws are its stronghold. Very scary. Predators make terrifying noises and put on intimidating displays. But David killed them with pebbles.

That’s remarkable. Look what God will do for a person who ignores the barking. Look at David’s shocking faith, and how God rewarded it with victory.

The Bible says we will marvel at puny Satan when he is dragged away for good. We should not be surprised. Satan has a loud bark.

So that’s what that word from God was about.

I’ll be back with more stuff as I receive it.

Let’s Spread it Like One

I am so sick of church.

I haven’t finished today’s prayers. I turned on a Youtube video for some reason, and I saw something I felt I had to write about.

A street evangelist picks up a friend at an airport. They go to McDonald’s. While they’re eating, they talk about the gifts of the Holy Spirit. They turn to some soldiers at a nearby table, and they start telling them things about the soldiers’ lives. This is what the Bible calls “the word of knowledge.” It means God tells people facts they wouldn’t otherwise know.

Big-money ministers love the word of knowledge. They fake it in order to scam people. A pulpit pimp named Peter Popoff (say that three times fast) got caught using an earpiece and a backstage team to get information about people, and then he pretended it came from the Holy Spirit. If you can convince a person God has told you things about him, he is likely to give you money. Popoff’s ministry was destroyed, but like a tumor that isn’t completely removed, it grew back.

The guys in the video aren’t asking for money. They don’t mention their great need for a jet. They pay for their own food, they pray for a couple of people, and they leave.

This is what Christianity is supposed to be. It’s supposed to be like the flu, which spreads from obscure person to obscure person, in random locations.

If you desired the flu for some reason, you wouldn’t go to a doctor and pay him a big fee to get it. You’d go out in public and try to be around as many people as possible. If we had to go to big meetings in order to get diseases, epidemics wouldn’t exist. Somehow, though, we rely on meetings in buildings with closed doors to spread the gospel.

The devil doesn’t have a big network of Satanist churches he relies on. He’s smarter than that. He uses individuals. We corrupt our friends, spouses, kids, relatives, and coworkers. We corrupt strangers. Businesses corrupt customers. The devil’s flu is spread on sidewalks, in offices, on subway trains, and in restaurants. The devil’s evangelists don’t need jets. They walk. They drive themselves. They take buses.

Church-lovers are really celebrity worshipers. They think Benny Hinn or the Pope or Paul Washer has the answers and the power. They think it’s completely acceptable to follow a man or woman, who sins and errs, for 50 years. That’s insane. One of the main purposes of the crucifixion was to decentralize power and make Christianity a grassroots phenomenon that couldn’t be stopped by attacking its leaders.

Church-lovers are lovers of organizations, not God. They don’t know God. They don’t care to. They don’t expect to. They have priests and pastors to talk to God for them.

Catholics and quasi-Catholics are the worst. In the Catholic church, there are super-holy people called “saints,” and Catholics pray to them instead of God. To be a saint, you have to work three miracles in your life. This is considered impressive. I’m nothing, and I’ve worked more miracles than that. Lots of people have. Every Christian should have a record of miracles. The Catholic church puts God at a distance, so people think it’s a huge deal if someone hears from him or demonstrates his power.

It’s as if they were rationing air! God’s power should be all around us, and it should flow through every one of us. It’s free. It’s unlimited. God wants us to have it and spend it as if it were water.

Church-lovers quote people, not God. Think about that. “Benny Hinn says this.” “T.D. Jakes says that.” If you’ve been a Christian for a year and you can’t quote anything God told you during that time, you’re doing it wrong.

You don’t have to quote Billy Graham. You can bypass him completely.

What did the prophets say? Did they say, “Here is what Isaiah told me”? No, they said, “Thus says the Lord.”

Christians love to ridicule Jews because they went 400 years without a prophet, but how many books of prophecy have we produced since the Bible was put together? That was well over a millennium ago. Did God suddenly decide we didn’t need to hear from him? Can anyone seriously believe that?

The devil talks to us every single day! He never shuts up! But God is quiet? Are you kidding me?

What kind of father would that make him?

It’s neat to watch three obscure Christians sit down in unity and represent God with authority. I love the fact that no money changed hands. Preachers keep telling us God needs money. Come on. He’s not Macy’s. He has NO OVERHEAD.

Churches are like big boils with massive cores of solidified pus. They are constipated. They fester. People want to get to know God, so they go to church. They learn a few things, and then they congeal and become part of the fossilized current of sludge. It’s like flypaper!

“I’m a good Christian. I go to church every week. I give more than 10% of my income. Now let me go back to sleep.”

Where does the Bible say people go to heaven based on their church attendance?

John the Baptist was supposed to be a priest. His dad was a priest, and he was entitled to become a priest by inheritance. The Romans chose the priests in that time. They chose toadies and kapos. In order to get anything done, John had to get away from the temple and baptize people in a creek.

The Jordan River is a creek. It’s tiny. You can throw a rock across it.

The temple was a mess, and churches are a mess. That’s why Jesus and Paul didn’t talk about church buildings. “Church” meant the people who believed.

My feeling about churches is that they are good places to go to meet Christians and to learn a few basic things. Other than that, you have to watch out. They will put chains on you as soon as you give them an opening.

In many charismatic churches in America, the real purpose of the organizations is to make preachers and their slackjaw kids rich (or at least affluent), and to feed their hilarious egos. That’s generally true. It’s even true in churches where the pastors make a big show of being humble. “I’m getting off the stage now. I’m being humble so God can get his glory. Don’t make a big deal out of it.”

I love the kind of ministry I saw in that video. Now that I think about it, it’s the kind of ministry I have. I am possibly the least effective Christian on earth, and I am totally useless as an evangelist. I am not much of a servant, but I have been able to pass some very useful things on to a few people. Destiny-transforming things. And it happened under the church’s radar. My churches were my biggest enemies.

Come to think of it, I didn’t have any other opposition.

Wow!

Can’t believe I never realized that until now.

Take a look at the video if you get a minute, and notice something. The man shooting the video is a middle-aged white man. He picks up a dark-skinned Latin at the airport. They meet up with a third friend, who is black. They minister to two black strangers. This is what Psalm 133 is talking about when it says it’s beautiful to see brothers living together in peace. No BLM ranting. No moaning about white people losing our white country.

It shows where real peace comes from. You can’t get it through treaties or the use of force. You have to make people see each other as family members, and only Christianity can do that. Jews and Muslims will never have peace, because they haven’t accepted Jesus and become one people.

Jesus is a divider and a uniter. He divides his flock from the world, and he unites us with each other.

Interesting stuff.

You can get to know God at home, without tithing, volunteering, taking classes, or signing a membership pledge. Forget that crap. Ask him to help you. He’ll do it. It’s what he created you for; he’s waiting.

If you feel like attending church after that, fine. Just don’t let the church cut you off from God. Paul went to the temple sometimes, but he wasn’t dumb enough to accept their error.

I know the age of churches is dead, and the age of individual ministry is finally, after 2000 years, going to bloom. I look forward to seeing more of it. It has apparently been going on right in front of me, and I haven’t noticed. Great news.

Maybe God will help us out and start exposing the famous leeches and taking away their power over us. That would be fantastic.

Hope and power truly are available. Anyone who tells you you don’t qualify is ignorant and toxic.

Thor Meets Lilith

I watched another really bad superhero movie on the Internet yesterday: Thor: Ragnarok. It was only six bucks, and I was too lazy to see it in a theater.

Man, what a rotten movie. Time to fill your screen with spoilers.

Thor has a sister named Hela, and she is bad. Odin imprisoned her a long time ago and lied about her, pretending Thor and Loki were his only sons. This is totally plausible, even though Hela nearly destroyed Asgard and killed all sorts of people, because…Odin put roofies in the water supply and made everyone forget, I guess.

Loki runs Odin off. This is never explained. He takes over Asgard, and Odin is exiled to a field in Norway, where he shuffles around in a suit that appears to have been removed from a bum, thinking about death. Thor dethrones Loki and finds Odin, who promptly dies without explaining anything.

Odin’s death releases Hela. Odin has made no plans for keeping her in her hole after he died. Naturally. Not his problem. He’ll be in Valhalla, playing shuffleboard.

Hela returns and beats the living daylights out of Thor and Loki in about three seconds. Thor tries to whack her with his hammer, and she grabs it with one hand and crushes it like a fortune cookie.

I have an analogy for you.

Hela : Thor :: spinosaurus with PMS : baby hamster

This, I think, is where the very, very subtle theme of female empowerment becomes apparent.

For some reason, probably demonic, the people who make our silly superhero movies have decided their lowbrow films can save the world, and they’re doing it by praising women and minorities at the expense of bad old white men. They gave us the clumsy, nonsensical, trite Wonder Woman to make us understand that women are the most amazing beings in existence. They gave us Black Panther to show us that Africa, a place so filthy, backward, dangerous, and violent, people there dream of moving to India, is actually a high-tech paradise inhabited by black models who have the intelligence of John von Neumann.

Right; there is nothing wrong with Africa at all. It’s the only place in the world where AIDS became a legitimate plague, purely due to stupid behavior. It’s a continent where millions of people have gone blind simply because they didn’t wash their faces. Civilization in Africa is ancient, but literacy was virtually unknown there until white people showed up. It’s full of witchcraft, which is taken very seriously and involves a lot of torture and murder. It’s the site of seemingly routine civil wars in which Africans murder and rape other Africans by the hundreds of thousands. Men in Africa rape babies because they think sex with virgins cures AIDS. Africa is so screwed up, even charity workers refuse to enter certain countries because they know they’ll be murdered. But Marvel says it’s full of telegenic model geniuses who are, frankly, just too smart to deal with the rest of us.

Yeah. I got it.

The Thor movie promotes women by giving us a female villain who is…God. She is stronger than Odin, Thor, Loki, the Hulk, all of Asgard’s warriors, and whoever else may show up…put together. If she were any stronger, she’d climb out of the screen and kill the audience. Marvel doesn’t explain how chubby, stick-armed, 5’6″ Odin put her in a prison. He must have worked out a lot when he was young.

It’s not enough to have a strong female character. You have to humiliate the male ones. This is the great thing about movie feminism. It’s a zero sum game. Equality? Forget that. We’re going for total domination.

Marvel slices Thor and Odin up and pulls their guts out. Odin is a confused old man wandering around in a field. Thor gets beaten up by practically everyone he meets. He cowers and begs. Stan Lee appears as a barber; his job is to cut Thor’s hair before Thor is forced to fight as a gladiator. Thor cringes and begs as the scary hair-cutting machine draws near.

Thor runs into a retired Valkyrie, which is a female Asgardian warrior. This person is supposed to be his servant. She defeats him instantly. Because…WOMAN.

Hela tears Thor’s eye out, like she’s flicking lint off his collar. Easily. Like it’s just something you do in the middle of a fistfight. It doesn’t grow back. It’s not a blooper. It’s gone, baby. She rips it out of his head, makes fun of his new gaping socket, and goes on beating him. Why not pull the other one out? Why not pull his arms off and be done with it?

Gosh. What could eyeballs and a hammer symbolize?

In this movie, Hela kills Asgard’s whole army in a few seconds. Nobody can even slow her down. Her power is so disproportionate to that of the rest of the cast, it’s as if Fred Rogers got a load on and started beating the puppets in the Neighborhood of Make-Believe.

That’s not good writing. People want to admire superheroes and live vicariously through them. We don’t want to pay good money to watch superlosers. We can lose fights and grovel in real life. I don’t need to watch Thor give his lunch money to bullies. I can do that here in the real world.

The movie is bad in lots of other ways. It’s buried in jokes. Way, way, way too many, and they are jokes that do damage to the plot and characters.

At one point, Bruce Banner jumps out of a spacecraft, expecting to turn into the Hulk as he falls. He says something like, “NOW you’ll see who I am!” He hits the Bifrost bridge untransformed, bounces, and presumably dies with a bunch of broken bones and torn organs. Hilarious. I guess his cells still have enough life in them to bring him back, because the Hulk pops up a few seconds later.

Maybe the screenwriter has a crush on Joss Whedon, who loves jokes and switcheroos. But Whedon doesn’t treat important characters like paper towels. He doesn’t destroy them for momentary laughs. He thinks about the future. You can’t have a joke that makes Buffy the Vampire Slayer a complete moron in one scene and then present her as the masterful savior of Sunnydale in the next.

The movie makes you feel bad for the actors. Marvel clearly does not care about Chris Hemsdale or the Thor series. Robert Downey got great screenwriters and good directors. He got top-notch special effects. Hemsdale got special effects straight out of Saturday morning shows. He got a script that probably arrived at the studio with dried beer all over it. He got a director who seems to have no idea who Thor is.

Cate Blanchett plays Hela. This is a big-time actress. Seeing her in a Thor movie is like seeing Laurence Olivier in a Frosted Flakes commercial. She tosses some of her lines out like she can’t believe she’s actually saying them. She seems embarrassed to be in the movie.

Is she in financial trouble? Is this like the famous series of Nicolas Cage IRS films? “You want me to play Fred Flintstone as Othello? Send me a check. See you Thursday.”

This is not a good movie. It’s entertaining, in the same way Youtube videos of skateboard crashes are entertaining, but the whole project is inept. And here is the most amazing thing about it: it got great reviews. How can that be? It’s Wonder Woman all over again. Wonder Woman was one of the dumbest, least imaginative superhero movies ever made, and critics raved as if Gal Gadot–a TV-grade actress who will disappear after this franchise–had cured cancer.

The director is going to vanish. The screenwriter, who is probably the director, is going to vanish. The special effects people are probably already looking for new jobs. But somehow the movie got good reviews.

I seriously wonder if critics held their nausea down and said, “I’m taking one for the team.” Nearly all of them are liberal. Maybe they’re so obsessed with the asinine notion that movies are “important” that they whored out and gave this pig five stars for Karl Marx and Betty Friedan.

If that’s not it, there has to be some kind of supernatural blindness at work, because really, this was a poorly written and executed film. It was not even close to good.

Hollywood types think Wonder Woman and Black Panther are more than movies. They think they’re cures for the problems of women and black people. The arrogance is beyond belief. Movies aren’t that powerful. At the end of the day, men will still be stronger and better at math than women, Africa will still be a disaster, and black neighborhoods in America that are poor and dangerous now will still be poor and dangerous.

Movies don’t ruin people. People ruin people.

White people and northern Asians are going to continue to do all right, and so will men. Sorry. You can’t slow us down with movies. We don’t succeed because movies give us confidence. We succeed because of how we behave. Switzerland and Japan will continue making really neat watches, great electronics, and wonderful firearms, and Sudan will keep producing dead bodies. That’s how things will be, until people in Sudan change their behavior.

Remember the “girls-only” math craze? Leftists kept telling us girls had to be put in special classes, like mentally retarded kids, in order to learn math. The idea was that boys would snicker at them in class, and that this would ruin their confidence and prevent them from achieving, which they otherwise would, because women are smarter than men.

It was an amazing philosophy. 1. Women are stronger and smarter than men, and 2. men, who are weaker and dumber, can keep women from achieving their potential by snickering at them. Somehow the weak and stupid were able to control the master gender. Don’t smart, powerful people usually dominate stupid, weak people? Am I missing something?

How can females be just as smart and powerful as males, or moreso, when they’re so weak you can ruin their lives by giving them skinny Barbie dolls with big breasts? I had a GI Joe when I was a kid, and he had washboard abs, the face of a movie star, and bulging plastic muscles. Why didn’t that depress me and ruin my existence? Am I special somehow?

I never thought about a connection between Joe’s perfect physique and my outlook on life when I was setting him on fire or throwing him off the roof.

Anyone who thinks boys are especially hard on girls is an idiot. Boys are absolutely vicious toward each other, even when they’re just playing around, and somehow we managed to win the presidency 45 times in a row and do most of the work involved in creating the atom bomb.

A female physicist named Lise Meitner was a vital part of developing the physics that led to the bomb. Her dolls were probably flatchested.

It’s funny, but Thor is actually a big hero to certain white power nuts. He’s blond. He has blue eyes. He’s Aryan as hell. There are white supremacist kooks out there who take him seriously and love Norse mythology. Hitler’s pals loved that stuff. It kind of makes sense that leftists would go after Thor. He is the ultimate symbol of whiteness.

Arggh. Can I just have a superhero movie where the hero beats up the villain and tosses him into the sun without trying to make me hate my race and sex? Make it a female superhero. I don’t care. Just don’t lecture me or blow smoke up…anything.

White men aren’t that bad. Really, we’re not. Get to know one. Take one to lunch. We’re human. We like puppies and walks on the beach. We don’t have slaves any more. Unless we’re Muslims. Don’t feel so threatened. It makes you look insecure.

I hope no one tears Tony Stark’s eyes out. He’s a riot.

More

I learned something timely and interesting from a Drudge-linked story. Thor really IS a big deal to certain white supremacists.

Drudge linked to a story about people in Scandinavia who are using Norse symbols for various purposes. It was kind of vague, but the impression it gave was that Asatru, one of the branches of the evil religion of Scandinavia, was hot with racists wackos.

I looked around some more and found more material suggesting there are grown people who worship Thor and Odin and have a problem with non-whites.

I can see the allure. Real religion, in which the real God is worshiped, is about love and submission, and there is a lot of denial of the flesh. The Viking pretend religion involves hammers, swords, battle axes, drunkenness, berserkery, and feeling dangerous. And it looks like you also get to pretend you have master-race genes that make you inherently superior to everyone else.

Everyone loves playing dress-up, and we like belonging to things, particularly if we can convince ourselves they’re ancient and exclusive. If you decide to be a Viking, you don’t have to let your position as a Wal-Mart greeter define you any more. You can get weird tribal tattoos, put on strange Viking jewelry, and feel much more interesting than you really are.

I totally get the Thor-humiliation in the Ragnarok movie now. Chris Hemsworth’s Thor gets abused by a black Valkyrie played by a race-obsessed actress (check out her Twitter feed) as well as a goddess played by one of the most testosterone-obliterating actresses in Hollywood (Cate Blanchett). He also gets enslaved by a man who seems gay (Jeff Goldblum).

It’s like the devil himself wrote the script.

I’m not saying Thor is holy or anything. Thor is part of a Satanic religion. But he represents white men to some people, and Satan is going after white men right now, so Thor is a good target.

I wonder if the white supremacists are upset about the movie. I don’t know where to look to find out.

I don’t have a fun ethnic revivalist group to join. Far as I know, my ancestors were mostly Celts. Ignorant not-blond people who painted themselves blue and accomplished almost nothing. Spent most of their time being conquered, I think. I don’t know much about it, but I think the main connection my ancestors shared with the Vikings is that the Vikings used to rape them and take their stuff.

I think I come from victim/loser societies. Maybe I can get reparations.

Wait. Wikipedia says I’m a Gael. The Gaels were Celts from Scotland and Ireland and so on. The Romans couldn’t conquer them, which sounds nice, but the British, who got stomped by the Romans, succeeded in conquering the Gaels, and they still push them around, which, now that I think about it, is how I ended up here in America.

Okay, so still losers, on the whole.

Man.

I think I’ll put on a kilt, dance around in the yard, and be proud of myself. “Yay! We got conquered! Yay! Other people run our countries! Say it loud! Say it proud!”

You know what? Down with Thor! We victims need to stick together.

How Holy Does a President Have to be, to be God’s Anointed?

Today I watched a video in which someone said Donald Trump had a practice of praying on the floor of his office every day, with a Bible in front of him, between 5 and 7 a.m. That sounds pretty great, but is it true? I can’t find any reference to it on the Internet. My guess: not true.

What I have found is a story claiming Paula White is one of his spiritual advisors. The story says he saw her on TV and called her.

Paula White is pretty awful. She preaches a message of greed and positive thinking, which puts her in the big, ill-defined camp that includes failures such as T.D. Jakes, Joel Osteen, and Joyce Meyer.

If you want to hear some crazy doctrine, check this out. Joyce Meyer says God owes us. It works like this. Send Joyce Meyer a big check, and God will write a receipt in heaven. Then when you need money, you remind God he owes you.

I’m not sure whether you can sic a collection agency on him.

I don’t know if she uses the word “owe” in this toxic teaching, but that’s the idea. If you give someone a receipt, and you don’t give them anything in exchange for what you received, you owe them. It’s a marker.

If I thought God owed me, I would be the happiest person on earth, but the Bible, which is full of words chosen very deliberately, says our righteousness is like used menstrual rags to him. And if he owes us, what was the point of the crucifixion?

Is Donald Trump a “man of God”? I think that depends on what the term means to you. He is proud. He is a champion adulterer and fornicator. He’s immature. I doubt he has the baptism with the Holy Spirit. I doubt he prays in tongues. Some preacher would have told us. I think his approach to life is very carnal. On the other hand, he very openly acknowledges God, he supports Christianity, and he supports Israel. He has the two-state disease, but he recognized Israel’s historically correct capital, which was extremely bold.

I doubt Donald Trump knows God very well, based on his general attitude. To me, he seems like a weak Christian who listens to his own gut.

Every day, or nearly so, I speak defeat to the people who are against President Trump, and I include the evil spirits they serve. I also pray for God to help Trump and his associates repent and become Spirit-led. Why would I do that, if I don’t think he’s much of a Christian?

I do it because he’s a friend of Christians, and because he’s the best we could do.

Hillary Clinton is a fanatical supporter of things God hates, such as socialism, homosexuality, and gender feminism. If you support the homosexual revolution, you are a major enemy of God, plain and simple. Gays, by and large, detest God and Christianity, and when the TV cameras aren’t on them, they express their hatred and their hope of abolishing our faith. There is no way to reconcile Christianity, Judaism, or Islam with homosexuality, and even the Dalai Lama is critical of it.

Gays are in love with lust. Their lives revolve around it. It’s common for a gay man to have thousands of partners during his life. That’s why AIDS hit them so hard. It’s why most other types of VD hit them harder than the rest of us. If you’re gay, you can go into a bathhouse in any major city and have sex with multiple partners, in a single night, without ever seeing their faces or hearing their first names.

You don’t have to buy them drinks, lend them money, hide your support for Trump, pretend to like Kenny G, claim to be a vegetarian, or sit through a chick flick. You don’t have to do the tedious things we do to fool women into doing what we want. You don’t have to worry that you might strike out and waste a lot of money and time.

Just show up, and someone will be with you shortly.

Heterosexual fornication is pretty bad, but sex isn’t the only thing we think about. If a heterosexual man manages to land two new partners a month, he’s a standout, unless he’s an entertainer.

I’ll tell you something remarkable. There was a gay organization in Miami called Body Positive. Men went there to get educated about AIDS. The place won accolades for its anti-AIDS work. It was promoted in order to give the public the idea that gays were responding to AIDS responsibly, which was never true. Eventually, they got in trouble…for SPREADING AIDS. They would have their lectures and so on, and then they would sodomize each other without precautions.

To get back to comparing the presidential candidates we were presented with, Donald Trump is like a kid who doesn’t listen to his dad very well. Hillary Clinton is a straight-out enemy of God.

I have often compared Donald Trump to Cyrus, who was a heathen emperor whom God anointed to rebuild his temple. Cyrus was no Jew, and he oppressed Israel, but any Jew who was against him was a filthy traitor who fought against God. When you have a choice between not-so-godly Donald Trump and the likes of Hillary Clinton, you defy God when you choose the leftist.

I sometimes think God will not put a real Spirit-led Christian in the White House, because it would be a nasty thing to do to one of his children. Presidents are surrounded by temptation and vile people. I wouldn’t accept the job even if I suffered from the delusion that I were qualified. Death would be preferable. It’s not just the presidency; I don’t want any big-time secular job. I live in seclusion, and I can still barely stand my little bit of exposure to secular, anti-Christian insanity. I wish it would disappear. I wish I could live in heaven and come down here for brief missions in a helicopter with darkened windows.

The disciples thought Jesus was going to become a political leader and crush the Romans. He wanted no part of it. He stood by and let the Romans oppress the Jews politically. He let them crucify Jews for petty crimes and political activism.

Not his circus, not his monkeys. People who lived by the sword died by it, and that was not his problem.

Jesus knew what his anointing was, and he didn’t venture outside of it. He didn’t give us electricity while he was here. He didn’t give us penicillin. He didn’t give the Jews gunpowder and rifles. He brought us salvation and the gift of the Holy Spirit, and he checked out in victory.

I hate Miami so much, I can’t describe it. I’m so glad I’m out. Every day I feel like I just made it off a sinking barge piled with burning excrement, populated by vicious, biting monkeys with diarrhea, and into a luxury lifeboat with comfortable suites. The feeling never goes away or heals. It gets more intense. I’m starting to feel the same way about the earth.

I often wonder how Jesus felt about leaving this place. No one wants to be tortured to death, but he was slandered here every day, from before he was born, and he was surrounded by idiots who rewarded him with evil for good. All this time, he was aware of what he was missing in heaven. Whatever his dread of pain and mutilation was like, he must have wanted to get past the stress of life in this snakepit.

When a woman is in labor, she wants the baby OUT OUT OUT. Whatever it takes. She doesn’t care who sees her naked or what they have to inject her with. When you have to vomit, you don’t care about the carpet or your expensive shoes. You want it OUT. Jesus must have had feelings like that. He was standing on a bridge. On his side was the filthy earth, filled with idiots and evil spirits. On the other side was heaven. In the middle were a cross and a flagellum. He had to want the crossing to be over with.

I wasn’t all enthusiastic about Trump back in 2016. I am a bandwagon-jumper. I saw his limitations, and I thought we had better Republican alternatives, but now I think he’s great. He says whatever is on his mind. He is basically on our side. God has anointed him to do certain things for us.

He has done a ton of wonderful things no one talks about. The press is obsessed with his tweets. They don’t seem to notice his judicial appointments, his beneficial effect on our tax laws, his strong efforts to drive hostile foreign citizens out of the country, his unprecedented success dealing with North Korea, or, well, anything else he has done to help America.

The tweets are like a smoke screen. Trump blows off a tweet, the left goes nuts, and while they’re blinded by the gas, he does something great for America.

The tweets are just chaff, and the press stops and eats them like bears eating Skittles dropped on a hiking trail. Trump plays the fiddle, and they get up and dance.

Wait till he replaces Kennedy and Ginsburg. Republicans will get out of their pickup trucks and dance in the streets. Journalists may be too busy diving in the tweet dumpster to notice.

I will vote for him again with great eagerness, unless someone better comes along, and I can conceive of no fact pattern which would ever drive me to vote for a baby-killing enemy of Jesus. I would vote for a friend of God whom I fully expected to destroy America and my own prosperity before I would vote for a socialist who would do more harm to the church and the unborn.

I just read a ridiculous and highly typical essay by an ignorant clergyman who says he prays for Trump to fail. He’s an Anglican in England. He says Trump is mean, and that he brings shame on America (funny how a foreigner is torn up about this). Why does this priest hate Trump? Because he’s not a real Christian. He’s just a leftist in a dress and a funny hat.

Many big churches, including the C of E, gave up on God decades ago. They don’t seriously believe there’s a great spirit sitting on a throne somewhere. They don’t believe in heaven or hell. They think God is an idea invented by men.

Jesus told us to be nice to people. That’s the only thing the dead churches have preserved; it helps them control us. When we do or even say things they don’t like, they tell us we’re not being nice.

They think Jesus was wrong about the Holy Spirit, Yahweh, Satan, demons, salvation, and damnation. Basically, they think he was a very nice idiot or lunatic. It’s like worshiping Chauncey Gardiner from Being There. They promote a brainless straw messiah no intelligent person could respect.

To leftists, Christianity is not a supernatural faith. It’s a philosophy and way of life, like Taoism or following the Grateful Dead’s tour bus. They think we’re supposed to force Karl Marx’s inane concept of social justice on the world. We’re supposed to take money away from good people and give it to destructive people so they can have the same lifestyles as people who go to work and obey the law. They think we’re supposed to accept homosexuality because it’s the nice thing to do. They think all criticism of sin is un-nice and therefore unChristian.

They don’t know the first thing about God. They’ve never met him. God loathes leftism, because it turns the government into a false messiah, punishes good people who produce wealth, and rewards selfish, covetous sinners who are poor because they love sin and hate God.

Most poverty is caused directly by bad behavior. It’s fair. It’s justice in action. Leftists hate hearing that.

God doesn’t always want us to be nice. We have to be just, too. He says that if we don’t correct wicked people, their blood will be required of us. I keep repeating this, but our nice Jesus killed 185,000 Assyrians in one night, he drowned the whole human race as well as all terrestrial creatures, he burned the Sodomite people alive, and he killed the firstborn of Egypt. God is greatly to be feared, and his people don’t have the luxury of being nice all the time. It’s not why we’re here; it’s just a desirable side effect and a way of avoiding demonic control.

Our purpose is to give God pleasure. The Bible says that expressly. We are supposed to accept the Holy Spirit and become like God in our hearts and minds, and we are supposed to do what the Holy Spirit tells us. If he tells us to do nice things, as he almost always will, great. But we are not here to turn the world into a nice place by ignoring sins God hates. Sweet Christian leftists aren’t going to fix the earth. The world is going to get worse, and then it will be destroyed because of sin. Christians are just here to pull a few people out of the fire.

You don’t have to be saved in order to be nice. Christians didn’t invent niceness, and we don’t have a monopoly. Many witches claim they’re nice. They love telling us this, in order to justify worshiping evil spirits. Maybe they’re nice all their lives, and they only cast “nice” spells. I’ll assume that, arguendo, although it’s surely a lie. They still end up in hell, and the person who places them there is not Satan but our nice God.

I do not understand why atheist leftists become clergymen. Okay, some of them do it for the gay support and sex, and others do it because they want financial security, but still, if you don’t believe in God, why are you working in the church? If you think leftism and being nice are man’s highest goals, you can be a secular activist. You can be a witch. You can be a Buddhist. Why proclaim yourself to be a servant of someone you believe to be nonexistent?

You can take all the things Jesus said about niceness and apply them while denouncing Jesus and telling people there is no afterlife. Why burden yourself with all the Christian baggage and get on Christians’ nerves?

If I were sure there were no afterlife, and that God didn’t exist, I would still be nice most of the time out of habit, but I would do all sorts of things I don’t do now. I’d take drugs. I’d visit countries known for their excellent, inexpensive prostitutes. I’d take revenge on people. I’d make as much money as possible. If we’re just puffs of smoke, none of it matters.

My life is almost over. I remember being 3 years old. It wasn’t very long ago; not much time has passed. I have less time than that left. Might as well write a bucket list, get a YOLO T-shirt, and jam myself full of empty, stimulating experiences.

I definitely wouldn’t spend much time helping the unfortunate, because their brief lives wouldn’t matter any more than mine, and helping them would be inconvenient. The cure for their temporary suffering would be death followed by nonexistence.

I understand Christian logic. I understand the logic of agnostics. Christian atheism…that is a special kind of foolishness.

Trump is going to continue to succeed. That’s not a prophecy, but I think it’s correct. Christians love him. We pray for him every day. We pray for his enemies to be defeated. We probably pray more for him than we ever did for George W. Bush. And Trump is popular among real, Spirit-led Christians, whose prayers are more powerful than anyone else’s. I expect Trump to do and say very odd, disturbing things, and I expect him to prevail anyway because God supports him. The world is going to fail, and the godless will eventually run America, but for some reason, at the moment, God is looking after Cyrus. My guess is that Trump is being used to give us time to prepare for the real persecution.

I don’t care what people think of my ideas any more. I am old. I will be dead soon, permanently beyond the reach of my enemies. The ridiculous opinions of people who are against God mean absolutely nothing to me. I have nothing but contempt for their wild guesses.

The Missing 75% of Christianity

I guess I’m in a rut. I keep watching healing videos on Youtube.

Years ago, God showed me there is symmetry in the supernatural. For example, demons inhabit and even control people; the Holy Spirit inhabits people and guides them. God sent Jesus. Satan will send his own messiah, the Antichrist. God has prophets. Satan has fortune tellers and so-called psychics. Before the flood, Satan had children here who were giants in the flesh but not the spirit. God’s children are nothing special in the flesh, but we are abnormally strong in the spirit. God sends faith, and so does Satan, but we call faith in Satan “worry.”

Before I knew much of anything about God, he showed me something about evil. The worst type of evil, which is very common, is to do great harm to others in order to get a slight benefit for yourself. Consider slavery and other types of human trafficking, for example. Consider meth dealing. A meth dealer might manage to gain an income comparable to that of a Walmart manager, but to get it, he has to ruin the lives of a lot of people.

The healing videos I’ve been watching show me that the type of evil I describe above has a counterpart. Sometimes you can do another person a great deal of good with almost no sacrifice. It makes sense. God says nothing is hard for him, and we ask him for help all the time. When God helps you, he doesn’t have to empty his bank account, strain his back, miss work, or risk injury. He sits in a big, comfortable chair and gives a command. It makes sense that we should usually be able to help people without suffering much. As far as we know, Jesus only had one bad day in his life, and we have no record of Jesus working hard, getting sick, lacking anything, being defeated, or, prior to his arrest, suffering any type of injury.

God never says, “My life is so hard. I do it all for you. I live in a cardboard box and deny myself so you can have what you want.” Over and over, he says nothing is hard for him. He sacrificed his flesh, one time. And he fasted once. That’s all the suffering we know of.

I read a book by a man who said he had been given a tour of hell. He said some people were punished in ways that reflected the evil they did on earth. One man he saw was stingy on earth. In hell, he was imprisoned in a claustrophobic barrel. It was very tight, and he could never get out. He was always very close to escaping, but he couldn’t make it. The idea behind the punishment was that there had been many people he could have helped out of tight places with very little effort, but he had chosen not to.

I’ve seen people who helped others greatly without much pain at all. I know someone who got in trouble for stealing from his place of work. He pawned some things he stole, expecting to redeem them and return them later. The pawnbroker broke his word and sold these things early. Then the employer noticed the things were missing, and the thief was told he had to make it right or face prosecution. It would have been a penitentiary offense.

Someone who was financially comfortable gave the thief around $2000 to settle things. The money meant nearly nothing to the giver. It would never make any difference in his lifestyle. It made a colossal difference to the thief. He was able to stay in college, where he had a full scholarship. He avoided a felony conviction, which would have cost him the right to vote, the right to own firearms and defend his house, and any possibility of finding work that paid more than minimum wage. A felony is a very big deal.

It was a bargain. One person lost something trivial, and the other got his life back.

I think about that when I watch healings. A guy shows up in a truck and gets out, having nothing better to do. He goes up to someone who has a medical problem with makes life miserable. Maybe the problem is incurable or terminal. The healer commands the problem to go. It takes two or three minutes. The person receiving the healing is made well, and the healer drives away to get a cheeseburger. No paperwork. No bill. No debt.

That’s a remarkable thing. No money changes hands. There is no hard work involved. No one is even inconvenienced. You don’t have to pay an insurance company. You don’t have to be stripped naked in front of strangers and have devices and cameras shoved up your genitals or your rear end. You don’t vomit from chemotherapy or void your bowels on the floor because you can’t make it to the toilet. You don’t have to get a fake limb because your illness required an amputation. You’re done, just like that.

God doesn’t remove lungs. He doesn’t give people barium enemas. He doesn’t amputate cancerous lower jaws and leave people looking like frogs. He doesn’t take out prostate glands and leave men impotent and incontinent. He doesn’t do hysterectomies on women who want to have kids.

God is not a hack.

No malpractice! That’s a big blessing. Doctors do some dumb things. They leave sponges inside patients. They amputate healthy legs and leave diseased ones in place. They gave Dana Carvey a coronary bypass and fixed the wrong arteries, leaving the crud in the obstructed ones. Medical people kill patients in droves every day.

There was a news story about a man who awoke from surgery to find he had been castrated. The surgeon took everything; every trace of genitalia. It was a mistake. God doesn’t do things like that.

I rarely go to doctors, because I hate everything about the experience, but even I have had a lot of problems with them. When I was a kid, they were cruel, especially when my parents weren’t around. They’ve charged too much. They’ve charged me for expensive treatments they knew I didn’t need. They’ve treated me for things I didn’t have. In my prayers, I call them “witch doctors,” and I beg God to keep me away from them.

I don’t mean any disrespect. I’m just giving them their due. Doctors do some things very well, and they are really bad at many others. They are dangerously wrong about things. Don’t believe me? Go back and look at what doctors believed in 1980. We thought they knew everything then, and they didn’t. We had very high opinions of them in 1960, 1940, 1920…go back as far as you want. Would you want to travel back to 1920 and be treated by the best doctors in the world? The very idea is frightening. Well, that’s how a person from 2080 would feel about being treated by a 2018 doctor.

Do you know what a cancerous tumor is is? It’s really a wart, or at least something which is like a wart. It’s a wartlike growth inside your body, that grows out of control and assumes complicated shapes that are impossible to cut out. It’s like a wart that grows and spreads. Millions of people are dying every year from growths that are like giant internal warts.

When you look at cancer that way, and you think about how hard it is to cure, you realize how weak medical science is.

Doctors are limited. God finds everything easy, and he never, ever does anything wrong.

What a different world it would be if we believed in healing and received it. Instead of sitting in waiting rooms full of pain and fully justified worry, we would lay hands on each other, repent, get rid of our sicknesses, and go about our lives praising God.

I have had a lot of divine healings. There is nothing like it. I’ll have an issue, and I’ll dread going to the doctor, or I’ll dread waiting for it to heal naturally. I’ll pray and do the other things I do, and first thing you know, I’ll find that the problem is gone or going away. It would be great if I could do this for other people. What a gift that would be. We spend our lives doing things we know are stupid and pointless. We sell securities. We sell real estate. We practice law. We wait tables. It’s all vain. It’s just a way to pass time and put food on the table. Imagine knowing a few hundred people were free from cancer, without medical treatment, because of you. You wouldn’t have to wonder why you were here.

My sister had to have her gallbladder cut out when she was about 23. They almost cut her in half. The scar is enormous. They didn’t have keyhole surgery. At my last church, the pastor’s wife had her gallbladder cut out. Another friend had his cut out after that. My gallbladder acted up, and I prayed. It hasn’t been right for maybe 15 years, and I can’t say I’ve had an instant healing, but it gets better all the time, and I have never had to have surgery. I’ve never mentioned it to a doctor. I don’t have attacks.

I was having attacks a few years ago, and I felt like God told me to eat fat. I went out and ate burgers and pizza. I had milkshakes. These things are supposed to be disastrous for gallbladder patients. I ate these things in front of other people who had gallbladder problems. Some of them ended up having surgery. Here I am, still functioning.

I’ve had a bunch of burns healed over the last year. That got to be routine.

I had a little warty growth on the side of my face. I thought I would have to get it burned off. It started going away. It’s nearly gone. I’ve had others that went away. I don’t bother going to a dermatologist because the growths can’t be trusted to be there when I’m examined.

God healed my knees in church. I felt a pulsating sensation around them, like two spirit hands were massaging them. Now they’re fine.

I had pain in my right shoulder for years. This week I realized it had disappeared.

I had pain in the joints in my hands. I hated it. It made me feel like my time as a capable person was ending. This month I realized it was gone.

Some problems are stubborn, possibly because I am stubborn, but I haven’t had to go to a doctor in…I can’t remember how long. I want life to be like that for everyone.

My great grandmother was a charismatic, and she refused to go to doctors. One day when she was 85, she got in bed and told her family she was going to die. My grandfather refused to come to her bedside. He said she had indigestion. She died. That’s how I want to go. Either that or a meteor. I don’t want to die screaming with poop in my hair because tumors are in my brain. I don’t want to rot away in a nursing home, unable to recognize the people who care for me or remember whether I had breakfast.

If we were showing people God’s compassion and power through healing, surely it would be easier to convert them. If people knew we could consistently cure homosexuality, it would be impossible to find enough people to have a gay pride parade in America, and the homosexuality-driven persecution we are enduring wouldn’t exist.

Right now people just see us as useless characters who tell them to obey unpleasant rules.

The supernatural is extremely important. Without it, Christianity is dead.

I’ll leave you with a video. You’ll see Tom Fischer healing a lifelong friend. The friend says he used to roll his eyes at Tom when he talked about God. Not any more!

Maybe some day I’ll be able to do things like that.

There is no Power Without Responsibility

I’m always disturbed when one of my friends starts to be a fanboi for a successful preacher. Suddenly, instead of hearing about his or her testimony–the astounding things God has done in his or her life–I start hearing about Lonnie Ray McCracken’s latest 3-hour sermon. Instead of my friend’s testimony, which is what I want to hear, I hear Lonnie Ray’s. Which may or may not be BS.

That makes complete sense, doesn’t it? I’m getting a revelation right now. It makes sense that focusing on a teacher would stunt your testimony. When you look at a man instead of God, the man blocks whatever God is trying to send you.

This blog post is changing direction, so I will let it happen.

The New Testament says there were times when a sick person would be healed by the shadow of a Christian. Tom Fischer, the no-jet-having, non-rich street evangelist I’ve been watching, has videos where he heals people by casting his shadow on their afflicted areas.

I watched these videos and received thoughts about eclipses as he cast his shadow. It was as if Satan were a star, shining destructive radiation on people, and Tom Fischer blocked it, like a moon coming between the sun and the earth.

I have often thought that God gave us the sun to symbolize himself and the moon to symbolize Satan. Unbelievers think it’s a coincidence that the sun’s apparent diameter is the same as the moon’s. That’s quite a coincidence. It’s so improbable, it’s hard to comprehend how it could happen. I think the moon appears to be the same size as the sun because God wanted to show us how Satan, who is small and generates no power of his own, can look just as big as God, who is far greater, simply by being closer to us.

The moon and planets are dark. They shine only with the sun’s light.

I believe we have eclipses to show us how a tiny, useless being can come between God and us and make himself seem strong and God weak.

When Tom Fischer stood between the sun and sick people, to me it seemed as if he were eclipsing Satan.

I know I’m using the sun to represent Satan, and I used it to represent God a few words back, but no analogy is perfect, and besides, Satan is the god of this world, according to Jesus.

When a person gets sucked up into celebrity worship and turns a preacher into a little god, it’s as if that preacher performs an eclipse. God is behind him, telling you things and sending you help, but whatever God sends is blocked by the preacher or bent and distorted as it goes around his edges.

Why am I saying this? Because Tom Fischer isn’t my god. I’ve been writing about him a lot, but he’s not my father, and I am not going to call him “pastor” or send him money.

Well. I might send a few bucks to support his street ministry. But I’m not sure about that.

I’m writing all this because I saw a neat Tom Fischer video today, and I wanted to be able to write about it without giving people the impression that I’ve attached myself to a new false god. I still go directly to the source, every day, all day. If Tom Fischer disagrees with the source, I will discard what Tom Fischer says.

I just watched a video in which Tom discusses the difficulty of healing Christians. That’s a great topic. He says it’s actually much easier to heal total heathens than Christians. Why? Because we are more accountable!

I guess I’ll pick on my old churches–Trinity Church and New Dawn Ministries–again. Why not? Trinity is a dangerous, destructive church, and New Dawn Ministries was obliterated and utterly disgraced because of pride and dishonesty. Might as well speak the truth when it can help people. I know there are individuals from these churches who have read my blog in the past, even though they don’t talk about it. The pastors have read it. Think they had the guts to talk to me about it? Come on! Never! If you took all the bone and tissue from the spines of the folks who run Trinity Church, you couldn’t build a backbone for a mouse.

Maybe things I write will get back to them, and it will help them, or maybe things I write will help people they enslave. I don’t know if anyone from these churches still comes here.

People said I criticized Trinity in “the wrong way.” I admit, I called the bigwigs there “idiots,” and I probably should have used a different word. But other than that, I have nothing to apologize for. I was much nicer than Jesus and Moses.

When you kick a rat’s den open and let the sunshine in, the rats will squeak. That’s life.

A friend of mine told me something God told her: if God tells you to tell someone something, you’re not responsible for what they do with it. You’re just carrying a package. Put it down and go on your merry way.

The folks who thought I was too harsh were brainwashed. They had become toadies. They needed to be slapped awake. They needed to see someone contradict their corrupt, uninformed leaders and throw cold water on them. They needed to know I could do that without being struck by fire from heaven. People said, “Touch not my anointed,” but in reality, I was anointed to criticize. Someone had to do it.

New Dawn dried up and died, disproving years of rosy “prophecies,” and Trinity is a financial and spiritual mess. Meanwhile, things are going very well for me, and I am experiencing something I have dreamed of for a long time: rural life far from Miami. I almost can’t believe I’m here. When people said I was disloyal and so on, I said something like, “May God judge between us,” and he did. I am not a good person, and I don’t deserve the good things I get. I’m not saying I’m a great guy or that God rewards me for being wonderful. I’m saying I did a better job of obeying, in this particular set of controversies, and I came out better than the people who were (are) in rebellion.

If you want to know who’s anointed and who’s not, look at the long term and see who remains on his feet.

What could be worse than reviling someone who is telling you what God wants you to hear? Shooting a friend because you’re drunk is very bad, but it can’t compare to sawing a prophet in half because he relays a word from God. I’m not saying I’m a prophet, but God did tell me a few things, and I got ostracized by ignorant people for passing them on.

The things God told these people could have been so helpful it would have amazed them. They turned a blessing into a curse.

I’m going to pick on these churches in ways I didn’t foresee when I said I was going to pick on them. I thought I would criticize them for ignoring the need for repentance, but I think I will also criticize them for doing evil when they knew better. It’s sort of the same thing, really.

The leaders at these churches knew they were wrong. Rich Wilkerson, for example, knew the money-in/money-out doctrine he learned from Steve Munsey was not true, and he knew he was taking money, without God’s permission, from poor people. People like me dropped off packages of truth, and the leaders let them sit outside the doors in the rain. As a result, these churches failed. They could not get healed. Trinity is still open, but it’s hollow and powerless. It’s filthy. New Dawn is gone completely, and several lives have been shattered by systematic sexual predation.

In the video I watched today, Tom Fischer says many Christians have physical problems that are the direct result of sin of which they refuse to repent. Like the preachers at these awful churches, people know they shouldn’t continue doing wrong. They shouldn’t smoke tobacco or fornicate or use drugs or whatever. They continue, and then when a healer shows up and prays with complete faith, nothing good happens. The sin people cling to eclipses the healing power. The devil puts out a “Do not Disturb” sign, and God respects it. Satan has rights.

Smoking tobacco is a sin, by the way. Nicotine is a drug, and cigarette smokers are hard core drug addicts. Every year, tobacco gives millions of people vile diseases and causes them to die, shriveled and incapacitated, before their time, in agony. That’s not the type of outcome which is associated with something that isn’t a sin.

Smoking has had a big impact in the south. I see the results here in Ocala when I take my dad to clinics and hospitals. People with blue skin stagger in, dragging tanks behind them, with tubes in their noses. There are a lot of them. I don’t see the cancer patients. They’re wasting away, and/or screaming in pain, in privacy.

It always amazes me that people are willing to smoke cigarettes. They don’t even get you high. I understand heroin addicts. I’d love to try heroin myself, if it weren’t a sin. Opiates feel wonderful. But to let someone cut your withered lung out so you can suck on a burning weed that does almost nothing for you? That decision is incomprehensible to me.

I used to smoke an occasional cigar. That was stupid, and I regret it. It was wrong. But cigarettes? They’re on a different level. They’re addictive. They are extremely likely to give you cancer. They are guaranteed to damage your lungs badly. Why not just jump off a building?

Other people’s sins always look stupid to me. Thank goodness I’m perfect.

At New Dawn Ministries, we had a head deacon named Ozzie. He had breast cancer. I knew him for a couple of years. During that time, he slowly shrank until he was a stick of a man. He was the former brother in law of the pastor’s wife, if memory serves. He was very close to the pastors. They used to put him in front of the church and call him “Ozzie healed of the Lord.” They tried to cast devils out of him. People fasted for him.

I prayed for him. I had tremendous faith that he would be healed. I felt supernatural faith, telling me it was a done deal. Ozzie was one of my projects.

During this time, God was teaching me about pride. I knew I had to get rid of my inquities, and pride was one of them. I saw that people at the church were very proud.

The pastor’s son, a drug enthusiast and possible dealer with a terrible attitude toward adults, was probably the proudest person there, even though he had much more to be ashamed of than a lot of people. He had absolutely nothing to be proud of. He couldn’t hold a fast food job. He had no money. He had no education. He had no discernible talents. His personality was off-putting. But he glowed with pride. He thought he was a genius. I think he smirked even in his sleep.

The pastors were proud. You could not tell them one single thing. If they had been on fire, and you had told them you needed to throw water on them, they would have burned to death while telling you they didn’t need your help.

These were not impressive people. They were uneducated. They were not particularly attractive or gifted. They hadn’t accomplished much in life. Their church was failing. It had gone from filling an entire building to occupying a tiny rented room in that same building. But they behaved like royalty.

Their “house prophet,” a guy named George, used to stand up and yell for long periods, telling everyone how thrilled God was with New Dawn. We were doing everything right. God was going to give us a big building and this and that. He told a lady I know she was going to have twins. He told me God was about to bring me a wonderful wife. He was always wrong. I came to understand that it was dangerous to let George prophesy over you, because it gave God incentive to prove him wrong.

George never said anything negative, and the pastors maintained that prophets were only supposed to say positive things.

They didn’t mind saying negative things about people, so you have to marvel at the cognitive dissonance.

Interesting story about George: he went to Africa with an older minister. They ministered to people they met. One man was very happy to hear about Jesus. He had lunch with George and the other man. To show George his love, he insisted on feeding him from his own hand. It was some kind of gross African custom.

George, like me, was a germophobe. He didn’t want anything dirty near him. He had to let a man put his nasty hand in food and shove it in his mouth. To me, that meant something. George had used his mouth to do a lot of damage, and God used his mouth to chastise him. Unclean things went out, so unclean things went in. Anyhow, I took it that way.

I told people what God had been telling me about pride and iniquity. He had been showing me I needed to deal with these things in myself, and I wanted other people to know, so they could share the benefit. I told them they needed to repent if they wanted their problems solved. I made them angry. No one listened. Especially Ozzie. “Everything is covered by the blood.” “Faith is all that matters.”

Ozzie dropped dead.

The tumors went to his brain, he went to a hospice, he started raving, and then he was gone.

Ozzie was just as proud as the pastors. This is odd, because he didn’t get excited about God until he was diagnosed. I can understand how a lifelong Christian with great knowledge and a good testimony could be proud, but that wasn’t Ozzie. Like me, he ran to God after a long time in rebellion, because things weren’t working out. He hadn’t led a good life. Adultery had been a major problem.

It was hard to talk laterally to Ozzie. You had to talk up, as though you were talking to someone on a throne. I say this as an older man he should have spoken to with a little honor. He treated me like a child. He was a nice guy, but he knew all the answers.

Ozzie’s death shook the church, and it shook me. I was not used to having great faith and seeing no results. It made me wonder what I could trust. It was like the earth started to crack under me.

Eventually, God told me this: the church had let Ozzie down by not helping him repent. People there got furious when repentance and humility were discussed. They said I was blaming people for their diseases, which is…TRUE. Jesus sometimes blamed people for their diseases, so I should, too.

We had prayed for Ozzie, and God had sent faith, but we had never warned Ozzie about his pride and denial. Actually, I made an effort, but it never caught on or went anywhere. In the end, pride and denial eclipsed God. They were in the way.

Hosea said people were destroyed for lack of knowledge, and it’s still true. And when God sends knowledge, people spit it back up.

To get back to the video I watched today, Ozzie was a classic case of a Christian who could not be healed because he was in rebellion.

In a way, he was destroyed for lack of knowledge. He had the knowledge that he needed to repent and work on pride, because he had heard it from me and maybe from others. He certainly should have seen it in the Bible. He rejected that knowledge, so it was as though he didn’t have it. It did him no good. In another way, he was destroyed because he had knowledge. He knew he was proud. He knew he needed to repent. He was held accountable for that knowledge. Because he knew and did nothing, he could not get healed.

The package was delivered, but Ozzie didn’t sign for it.

Christians are held to a higher standard than other people. If you know God at all, you have to snap out of your complacency and realize the consequences of your deliberate sins will be much worse than the consequences ignorant people face.

Here is why some of the Pharisees Jesus dealt with are burning in hell right now and will remain there forever:

Jesus said unto them, If ye were blind, ye should have no sin: but now ye say, We see; therefore your sin remaineth.

In at least one case, Jesus equated healing with forgiveness. How can you forgive someone who is, at that moment, sinning with no plans to stop? What’s the point? It’s like trying to wash a car while you drive it through the mud.

He also said this:

And that servant, which knew his lord’s will, and prepared not himself, neither did according to his will, shall be beaten with many stripes.

But he that knew not, and did commit things worthy of stripes, shall be beaten with few stripes. For unto whomsoever much is given, of him shall be much required: and to whom men have committed much, of him they will ask the more.

A lot of my problems can be traced to this principle. God visited me personally in 1986 and told me what I needed to do, and I wandered off eventually and did whatever I wanted. I did not take him seriously.

Actually, all of my problems can be traced to this. When I got away from God, I stopped praying. God has since told me, “All of your problems are caused by lack of prayer.”

“All.”

I cause my own problems. Maybe you don’t, because you’re a victim and you’re incredibly holy. My hat is off to you. I don’t buy it, but anyway, hooray for you.

Here is the video I watched. I couldn’t find anything wrong with what he said, and I think it will benefit you.

To go off on a tangent, I had an extraordinary experience last night. It’s something I’ve been praying for. I really need this kind of thing.

I was tempted, and I started to fall into a sinful activity. I really did not want to do it. I am sick of sin.

I got close to sinning, but I didn’t feel sufficiently compelled to close the deal. In this life, I feel urges to do evil, and I feel countering urges to do good, and many, many times, the evil urges have been too strong to fight. Last night, I suddenly felt like the vote was 70/30 against sin, and that was plenty. Suddenly I just wasn’t up for sin. I thought of it the way I would ordinarily think of working on my taxes or cleaning the kitchen. I wanted to put it off and not think about it. I was very relieved.

I often see sin and righteousness the way I see the flow of money in a casino. To make money running a casino–to ruin people’s lives and destroy children’s inheritances–you don’t have to rig the games so people lose all the time. In fact, that will assure you of going out of business. No one will show up to play. What you do is rig the games so you have a very small edge. I don’t know what that edge is in any particular game, but my understanding is that the house’s advantage is generally under 10%.

A person can go into a casino and gamble for a very long time before losing all the money he brings with him. In the end, the result is the same as if he had blown everything on one hand of cards, but the loss can be very gradual.

When it comes to sin, I find that my heart and mind are divided. I want to do the right thing, but when it comes to sins I can’t get past, the urge to do the wrong thing has a small edge. If 55% of me wants to sin, and 45% wants me to do right, I will eventually break down and sin. It’s like I’m arm-wrestling someone stronger than me. I can resist for a while, but my arm will eventually go down. I can’t carry the load indefinitely by myself.

In order to be able to refrain from sinning, all I need is a tiny edge. That’s what I felt last night. It’s enough.

Wanting to sin isn’t sin. Being tempted isn’t sin. It’s normal to want money, things, sex, and so on. If you resist successfully, you’re blameless, even if you wanted to sin very badly. You may have an iniquity–an unnecessary and unhealthy urge–you need to get rid of. You may have demons that need to be cast out. But you haven’t committed a violation. A violation is worse than an urge, because it opens the door and gives the enemy more power over you.

God can put his righteousness in you. We don’t have to avoid sin purely through our own willpower. I know this because God has changed my desires before. It’s something to strive to get. I am really hoping to get more of this.

I don’t care at all about the credit. I am past that. I would be completely happy to have God send an angel to slap my face when I want to sin. I don’t care. I don’t care. I’ll be happy to go on national TV and tell the world I can’t stop sinning without supernatural intervention. I just want a clean life.

It’s better to avoid unnecessary sin in the first place than to indulge in sin and develop compelling habits–iniquities–and have to get God to remove them. Unfortunately, I’ve done what I’ve done, so I have things to deal with. If there’s any sin you haven’t tried yet, and you’re thinking of giving it a shot, take my advice and forget about it. You may feel like you’re picking up something very light right now, but eventually it will be very heavy, and you won’t be allowed to put it down.

2300 Words to Help You Pass the Time

I got up late today. A couple of months back, I fired my alarm clock. I hate alarm clocks. It doesn’t matter how nice the wake-up sound is. After a week, it will feel like someone shoving hot needles into your ear. I quit using the alarm, so sometimes I get up later than I want to. Daylight Saving Time just started (or ended; I never can remember how it works), so I suppose that makes my body think it’s early.

I’m a morning person now, which is all the miracle anyone needs in order to believe in God. I used to loathe mornings. My natural tendency was to wake up at noon, and when my clock went off at seven or whatever, I always felt like the world had ended. I couldn’t move. I felt like a magnet was sucking me down into the mattress. I just wanted to go back to sleep. I haven’t had that feeling in years. Mornings are just like any other time of day now. But the alarm sound…that, I still hate.

Today I woke up not long after eight, which is acceptable given my current lifestyle, but when I started to pray and get the day going, I conked out without realizing it, and I woke up at 9:45. Big disruption to my prayer life. I have to sit and pray now instead of doing other things.

When I fell asleep, I dreamed I had overslept. I thought I was in my favorite bedroom at my grandfather’s house, and I was trying to see what time it was. I was trying to read the alarm clock, but I couldn’t see clearly. For some reason, I was looking into it from the back. I could see the back of the display, but I couldn’t read anything.

Imagine dreaming you overslept, while you’re oversleeping. But it could be worse. The dream I really hate is the one where I dream I can’t sleep.

My dreams are so realistic, when I look back on them, I have a hard time distinguishing them from reality. Sometimes I think about a place I’ve been, and then I realize that place doesn’t exist. I dreamed I was there, and then the dream was stored in my memory. Sometimes I have to think for a while to determine conclusively whether a place in my memory is real or imaginary.

I have another weird thing that happens when I’m in bed. It generally happens during prayer, because if I’m lying in bed, I’m either praying or sleeping. I’ll fall asleep for an instant, and then I’ll wake up. During that instant, I’ll think about a person I just imagined. I’ll think that nonexistent person is real. That’s not the weird part. The weird part is that in the blink of an eye, I’ll create a complete history of that person. I may think of him or her as having a career and relatives and so on, and it will all seem real. When I wake up, I realize it’s imaginary, but I can’t understand how my mind can come up with all that background in a second or less.

Thank God I forget it. I would hate to have a head full of imaginary buddies, like fake names in Google Contacts.

I guess for a brief instant, my mind turns into Twitter. That’s a place inhabited by imaginary individuals. “Right on, Chrissy Teigen. Women should breastfeed EVERYWHERE, stark naked! And I’m not just saying that because your publicist pays me.”

I have issues with my imaginary people. I don’t just create them with no context. Maybe the person will owe me money, and I’m trying to get it back. Maybe I’m supposed to help the person paint his house. There will always be some kind of story that evaporates along with the character.

I wonder if the oversleeping dream came from God. Maybe looking into a clock from the back means I’m wasting time, trying to get too much detail from God about the supernatural and the way the world works. I’m not supposed to know everything. I can’t carry that.

Or maybe it’s just a stupid dream.

Now that I think about it, I believe the dream is about the natural world. I think I focus way too much on understanding and responding to events with my unaided mind. That makes a lot more sense. God would never tell us to stop trying to learn about him.

We can never understand all that much about what happens around us. We have the illusion that we know a lot and see a lot, but each one of us sees the world through a tiny pinhole. Anyone who tells you different is on a pathetic ego trip and will eventually be humbled pretty badly. People like that are destined to have Zaphod Beeblebrox Total Perspective Vortex moments, only without the hack that saved Zaphod.

Douglas Adams died an atheist, and he was younger than I am now. Terrible to think about. At this moment, he is having a Total Perspective Vortex experience that will never end.

It’s sad to see people you can relate to deny God. The director Joss Whedon is another one. I’ve enjoyed a lot of his work, but he uses the borrowed term “Sky Bully” to describe God. Not only does he reject God; he thinks doing so is a crucial part of maturation. Of the nonexistence of God, he said, “That’s a very important and necessary thing to learn.”

It’s hard to imagine how anything can be important or necessary in a universe where people simply go out, like the glow from a firefly’s tail (or the run of a canceled TV series). If nothing lasts, nothing has any importance. The greatest evil you can do won’t affect anyone for more than 120 or so years. That’s the upper limit of the human lifespan, and in a universe that lasts forever, it’s mathematically indistinguishable from nothing.

Maybe he means believing God doesn’t exist is important if you want to set yourself free to do all the fun things God is against. That’s probably it. It’s suitably trite, like all atheist platitudes.

It doesn’t take much to impress an atheist. No matter how tired their arguments are, they always think they’re fresh and ingenious.

These days, homosexuality tops the list of fun things God won’t let us embrace. We used to think homosexuality was a problem. Now we think God and Christians who are against homosexuality are the problem. It’s just like the notion that Israel, the only civilized nation in the Middle East, is the problem in that part of the world. Muslims (who torture and execute homosexuals, by the way) will love each other and live in joy once we let them kill the Jews. We know this because Muslims have always been so nice to each other. Yep.

Get rid of one set of combatants, and the war will end. That’s what the people who hate us think. Satan’s children don’t realize there will always be conflict. Kill all the Christians, and Satan’s children will eat each other in our absence. They will find reasons. Look how many atheists they murdered in the USSR and China.

Atheists and other unsaved people are the real fireflies. They may entertain us for while, but very, very soon their names will be blotted out forever, and their infantile works will disappear. They will be removed from our presence, and some say our thoughts, for eternity. There won’t be any gay pride marches or BLM or Antifa riots where we’re going. Everyone will be pro-life. Everyone will be pro-Israel. Everyone will love the God of the Jews.

I can’t imagine a world without conflict. I wish I could conceive of the sensation, so I could enjoy it in advance.

Living in Marion County is a little bit like moving to heaven. In Miami, everyone hates each other. Rudeness is normal. Cubans hate blacks. Blacks hate Cubans. White people are unwelcome, and we know it, so we sell our houses and leave.

Up here, people are so nice I still can’t get used to it. Doesn’t matter what their ethnicity is.

Heaven will be nicer yet.

I feel like I’m ascending. This, oddly, is a very Jewish idea. The real name of the Jordan River (“Yarden”) means “descend” in Hebrew, and Jews who leave Israel are “yardim,” or, “those who descend.” When you move to Israel, you make “aliyah,” which means you go up. When I applied to be a kibbutz volunteer, I went through an annoying agency called Kibbutz Aliyah.

Jerusalem is pretty high up, and the Bible describes Jews who went to Jerusalem to worship in God’s presence as “going up.”

Ocala is a monstrous step up from Miami. It’s like moving from the gutters of Calcutta to Beverly Hills, in spiritual terms. Miami is a rotting hole of carnality and ignorance. Ocala is wonderful, but I feel I have another upward step to take before I leave the earth. I seriously believe I’ll be in Tennessee soon. I hope so, because hunting has made me miss Appalachia like crazy.

Last night I went to Gander Outdoors (a sporting goods store) to buy more tools for hunting, and when I got to the register, the lady who rang me up joked with me like I was her cousin. I am not an extroverted person. In Miami, I have to repeat myself all the time because no one understands English, and I’m used to people being cold or hostile. I don’t automatically kid around with strangers. It’s strange to have cashiers and waitresses show me warmth and familiarity.

There is a way southerners talk to each other, and if you’re not a southerner, I can’t explain it, but it’s very welcoming and inclusive. Here, I can fall into it. In Miami, I might as well be talking to porcupines with inflamed hemorrhoids.

Puercoespins con hemorrhoides grandes.

I still have so much healing to do! It’s very hard to let people be nice to me. I can’t believe I was stupid enough to live in Miami. I was blind to what people were doing to me. I tried to make it work. I was descending, the whole time!

Funny thing; I’m from Eastern Kentucky, which is part of a southern state, and I can tell you, people there are not that nice. There is a streak of Celtic blackheartedness in them. Many people in the mountain areas ridicule their kids and spouses. They spit out little barbs all the time. They can’t say nice things to people. They have to find roundabout ways to do it. Up there, a person will say something nasty to you, facetiously, hoping you will see through it and understand they mean something nice. They’re afraid to say things like, “You look very pretty today,” or, “I’m very proud of you.” I have had this problem myself. These days, I feel very liberated when I say something nice to someone without putting a little hook in it.

There is a lot of Celtic blood in the mountains, and Celts are mean. Their tongues are like whips. Don’t let anyone tell you different. Everyone knows the Scots are mean, but the Irish are mean, too. They may hide it better, but there is a lot of hardness in them. They didn’t become the biggest terrorists in Europe because they’re warm and forgiving.

In this country, the Irish have great PR. You watch movies, and you see gentle, half-drunk people who smoke clay pipes and say poetic things. Totally unrealistic. The Irish are angry as hell!

Call me prejudiced. I don’t care. I’m old, and I’m going to die soon. I can say whatever I want. Go ahead and ban me from Aer Lingus. That will teach me.

Miami poisoned me, but when my family moved there, we brought ethnic poison of our own. I never thought about that until now. At least I don’t think so.

Mountain people in Kentucky and other states have problems, but people are nicer in other areas of the South.

I continue watching healing videos on Youtube. They make me wonder what purpose I serve here on earth. I see Christians going out and healing total strangers. What do I do? I blog and manage real estate. I have a strong prayer life, and that’s nothing to sneeze at, but it’s nice to see Christians getting out there and demonstrating God’s love.

I’ve been watching a guy named Tom Fischer. Through his videos, I found someone else. A young man named Troy. He only has a few videos. He heals people, too.

When he talks to people, his face shines. It makes you sense God’s love. That’s impressive. I’ll embed a video.

I can’t do this kind of thing. I have not been called or empowered to do it. Evangelists are salesmen, and as I often say, I couldn’t sell poop to flies. If you know a Christian you want to turn away from God, give me a call, and I’ll talk to him. He’ll be worshiping the devil in a week.

There are things you just shouldn’t try to do until God gives you power.

That’s what anointing is all about. “Anointing,” figuratively, means “authority.” A person with an anointing has a commission–an assignment–from God, and God will help him get it done. If you have an anointing, God will part the Red Sea for you. If not, you may lose your church and be imprisoned for something like fraud or pedophilia.

Tom Fischer goes up to Jews in yarmulkes and gets them to let him heal them in the name of Jesus. If you don’t know Jews, you don’t understand how crazy that is. It’s like selling pork in Mecca. But God helps him get away with it.

I can relate to the prophets, because no one listens to me. If I said something obvious which was so brilliant it could end all of the world’s problems in 5 minutes, people would chase me with pitchforks. My old pastors think I’m an idiot. My relatives think I’m an idiot. Many people I’ve gone to church with think I’m an idiot, and I’m talking about people who, in some cases, are nearly illiterate. People who can barely read and who know how educated I am feel completely entitled to lecture me. It’s something to see.

My dad started telling people I was smart…after he lost his mind. I have no words to discuss that! When I was winning the Miami spelling bee, getting crazy test scores, and doing graduate work in physics, I was still an idiot. But now I’m smart. If he goes into a coma, I’ll be a genius.

He says I’m smart, but he doesn’t think I’m bright enough to decide what to throw out. He takes things out of the garbage. When I really want to be sure I’m rid of something, I have to destroy it before I throw it out. Sometimes I’ll pour dishwashing liquid all over it. He says I’m smart, but people’s actions show what they really think.

Never pay any attention to what people say. Always look at their actions.

Don’t count on me being right about the people in the videos I watch. For all I know, they could be axe murderers. I only know what I see.

Romans 8:15

I feel like I should expound on the things I wrote yesterday.

I wrote about an extraordinarily vile cyst that appeared on my back. All physical ailments come from sin, whether it’s the sin of the person afflicted or the general curse on the world that comes from sin. There is no possibility of illness in heaven, because everyone there is forgiven and purified. I don’t consider it self-condemnation when I say I believe my physical problems are often related to my sins, and that the nature of the problems may tell me about the type of sin that led to their appearance.

A cyst has certain characteristics. It’s a container made of tissue. It’s walled off from the rest of the body. Cysts are full of things that need to be extracted. A cyst may be very stubborn. It may have a sort of opening with a layer of tissue over it that acts as a barrier that prevents the crap inside from being removed. Cysts protect their disgusting contents.

I know demons work in me. We are surrounded by demons in this world, and they whisper to us and prod us, just as God does. They work to modify our acts, thoughts, and emotions.

From past experience, I know that a demon can occupy space inside a person. I had some things cast out of me, and I can tell you I felt them in my abdomen, below the rib cage. I felt their presence there when they became afraid. They became cold. My hands turned cold.

Remember the scene in the first Alien movie, where the creature burst John Hurt’s chest wall and ran off? That’s what it’s like when a demon gets upset. I suppose you could compare it to feeling a baby kicking.

Night before last, I woke up while it was still dark, and I felt a lot of tension inside me. I had been battling anger and cruelty, to get rid of them, and when I woke up, I felt like a battle was going on in and around me.

I felt like a cyst that didn’t want to pop. Like there was only a thin wall between me and a breakthrough followed by peace.

Eventually, I felt some things leave me.

There are also barriers between us and good things. The flesh is a barrier between us and God. The veil in the Temple symbolized the flesh.

Here’s what happens when a spirit leaves me. Suddenly, my mind grows quiet. Usually, I have a nonstop flow of thoughts and words in my head. When something leaves me, it shuts down instantly, and I literally don’t know what to think. I sit and wait for the next thought.

Naturally, this brings peace, because peace is destroyed by thoughts. When you stop thinking, it’s like a fire has gone out.

I told God I had no idea who I was. If I ever get subsantially purified, I will be a person I don’t recognize from the inside. I don’t know what my personality would be like without the corruption and supernatural chatter. I think of the things that go on inside me as parts of me, but many of them are not, so what am I really like?

Secular thinkers tell us to embrace all the garbage inside us. Whatever it is, own it, say it’s natural, and refuse to condemn it. Homosexuality, lust…whatever it is, accept it. That’s not realism or healing. It’s defeat. It’s capitulation. It reminds me of the cessationist doctrine that poisons the body of Christ. “We can’t get miracles or prophecy, so we conclude they don’t exist any more.” Secular people can’t rid themselves of inner problems, so they tell us to love them.

That’s not for me. I’ve had divine deliverance, so I will never stop trying to get more of it. It’s extremely unfortunate that so many people can’t get help, but I’ve received it, and I’m not going to pretend it doesn’t happen. I’m not capitulating, ever. I will never stop trying to get free, because I know God is willing to make it happen.

Why doesn’t God do it right now, completely? That’s what people will ask. God isn’t my butler. He’s not my slave. His chief purpose in the universe isn’t to rush to my side whenever I suffer a little and take the problem away regardless of my attitude and my past. Sometimes he permits suffering to last a while, for reasons of his own. Usually, though, my own iniquity delays his help.

God isn’t a genie. The word “genie” comes from the Arabic “djinn,” which means “demon.” If you want a spirit that gives you whatever you want, whether or not you’re ready, get yourself a demon. You could be the next Tom Cruise.

I’m not going to blame God for anything. That’s a poisonous attitude. Anything he does for me is a gift. He’s not paying a debt or earning a wage. He doesn’t owe me. If he had put me in hell instead of saving me, no one in the universe could say it wasn’t fair and good.

A lot of people refuse to believe in God because he won’t be their slave. “If God is so good, why didn’t I make the cheerleading squad?” “If God is so good, why is my neighbor’s BMW better than mine?” I know a lot of people complain about more serious problems, like death and illness, but many of us are angry at God because he doesn’t fix our petty, disgraceful first-world gripes. We’re not grateful for anything. There are healthy young people who wake up in big houses in the United States of America and feel angry at God because things aren’t even nicer.

I used to be that way. These days I thank God when I get in the car. Have you ever thought about what a blessing it is to have a car? A little over a hundred years ago, you were very lucky to have an open carriage and a horse. That’s how it was for centuries. I can get into a car whenever I want, drive at 100 miles per hour if I don’t get caught, listen to a huge selection of the greatest musicians of the last century, and enjoy whatever air temperature suits me. I can flick a switch and heat or cool the seats. In 1875, this would have been beyond the dreams of sorcerers.

Cars are fantastic. Even crummy ones. Air conditioning is fantastic. Good food is fantastic. Hot water is fantastic. I have machines that wash clothes and dishes while I watch TV (which is fantastic). Have you ever washed a shirt by hand? It’s a nightmare. Think how many shirts you use in a week.

I can see. My back is straight and strong. My feet don’t hurt. I’m not bald. I live in the greatest country the world has ever known. I live in one of the best areas of that country. I know God personally. I don’t have to look at prices when I go to the grocery store. I can buy blueberries in the winter. I have a personal library that would have made Plato faint. By historical standards, I live better than most emperors. Croesus would cry if he could see how I live.

Anyway, the fact that God hasn’t fixed me instantly is the dumbest conceivable argument for atheism and cessationism. His own book doesn’t say he’ll make our lives perfect in a heartbeat.

I believe I’m the focus of a battle right now, more than ever. The things that have run me know their final eviction is close, so they’re raging and fussing. I just have to keep confessing and repenting. They have no chance of success.

I’m so glad I’ve cut back on reading the news. I need to cut back more. My need to know what’s going on is nothing compared to my need to be close to God. The news is a source of temptation. It tempts me to anger and even lust. These days, when you look at a news site, there’s a good chance you’ll see at least one semi-pornographic photo with a link below it. “Kim Kardashian was naked again today.” Wow. Thanks for keeping me in the loop, “JOURNALISTS.”

Bad things are happening in the world. Got it. But I don’t run the world all by myself. I’m not actually required to obsess on the news and pray about every article. God told me I’m “one of many.” I’m busy with something important, so if Christians have to read the news, let the others handle it for a while.

They can keep track of all the important updates from the Kardashians and Chrissy Teigen.

I can’t wait to live in a world where there are no people like that.

To change course, I got another revelation today. God showed me how I differ from most men. I have never, ever known what it was like to want a father.

When I was a kid, I was scared of my dad. When he entered a room, my sister and I tried to leave before trouble started. When he talked to us, we tried to say whatever would 1) prevent him from blowing up and 2) get us excused from his presence. I was always looking for ways to avoid being around him.

When he wasn’t around, my mother, my sister and I would talk about divorce. It’s terrible to say it, but we talked about how great our lives would be if she divorced him. My sister and I encouraged her. Once, when my sister was about three, she held a gun to my dad’s side and told my mother, “We don’t need him.” She wanted permission to shoot.

I’m not writing this to pick on my dad. I’m just sharing what has been going through my mind.

I think I had a bad attitude toward male authority figures, because I was scared of them. I remember two men who didn’t fit the pattern, though. Mr. Hubert, my fifth-grade science teacher, and Mr. Stallings, my eighth-grade English teacher.

I had never had a male teacher before Mr. Hubert. He made me prefer male teachers. He was great. He had all sorts of science stuff going on in the room. He rigged up a desk microphone and PA system to talk to us, even though he was five feet away. He had fish. He had live guinea pigs (donated by me) in a tank. He was gentle and fun to be around.

Oliver “Butch” Stallings. He hated that nickname, so of course, people used it behind his back all the time. Stallings was a 6’4″ blond Aryan who looked like a Calvin Klein model. He was a tyrant. We always had homework. If you didn’t do your homework, you had to write a note to your parents, make them sign it, and bring it back. He didn’t take any crap from anyone. He worked us. People said they hated him, but I don’t think they did. I thought he was great. He made us succeed. Female teachers never did that. They used guilt trips and cajoling, but they didn’t provide order.

Sometimes we loved our female teachers, but they accomplished very little compared to the men. It’s that simple.

Stallings could be a little jerky, but all of his demands served a purpose, and that purpose was to improve us.

Not all of my male teachers were positive role models. My seventh-grade math teacher, Mr. Bubrick, told me he was going to break my arm if I reached under my desk for a piece of paper. I think it was paper. Might have been a pencil. He said, “I don’t care who your father is.” He said he was completely serious. Not sure what that was about. And I believed him, so I don’t understand why he kept trying to convince me.

It wasn’t really necessary to threaten to cripple me. He could have said, “Don’t reach for that,” and I would have complied. I guess he was mentally ill.

We were supposed to write something down. Maybe he was giving us a quiz. I don’t recall, but I assume I failed, because you have to have a pencil and paper in order to write.

On the whole, Mr. Bubrick was not a very good teacher. I’m not sure which careers are best for sadists who threaten to break other people’s children’s bones.

Whatever my positive experiences with men were, I never had any desire for a father figure in my life. I wanted father figures to leave me alone. I didn’t like being cursed at. I didn’t like watching violence that couldn’t be defended against. I didn’t like the burden of racking my brain, trying to think of the right things to say to turn off the rage.

It’s tough dealing with abusive people. Sometimes you can postpone the abuse by saying or doing the right thing, but sometimes they’re determined to abuse, and nothing you can do will stop it, so you end up feeling helpless and unable to control your circumstances. It breeds passivity. You quit trying to fix things you can’t fix, and you focus on learning how to endure them. “Is it over now? No, he’s still going. I’ll hold on a little longer.”

It makes you feel like your face is a pair of wooden shutters you can lock up while a hurricane rages outside. It’s very strange. You lock them up and hope the wind doesn’t blow a tree into them. It’s the best you can do. You can’t control anything outside of you, so you retreat and control a reduced perimeter: your face.

I was talking to God today, and I told him I really wanted a father. At my advanced age, I was asking for one. I have never had a father. The lack of a father wrecked my life. I didn’t have a father to correct me, guide me, supply me adequately, or protect me, and I am damaged. Now I want a father to come in and undo the damage. I want the evil in my heart to be fixed. The fatherless tend to be insolent punks. I don’t want to be an embarrassing middle-aged punk, like Jimmy Kimmel or Sean Penn. I want to be told what to do, by someone who has my best interest at heart.

Churches have tried to teach me God primarily wants me to obey rules. Some churches have taught me God just wants me to give preachers money. It’s unusual for a church to teach people the truth: God wants children. A father knows his children personally, unless he’s a deadbeat dad. He works to raise them. He gives them advice and corrects them. He fights their enemies. He gives them wealth and the ability to get more wealth. He doesn’t sit on a cloud a trillion miles away and ignore them.

The Bible orders us to love God. How can you love someone who is completely uninvolved with you? It’s like telling you to love Prince Charles or Vladimir Putin. Strangers you’ve never been anywhere near.

It’s not enough for God to help me and correct me. I need him to be personally involved, out of love. I need him to exert authority over me very directly.

I can’t tell you how strange it is to want to be adopted and to have a father. It’s like waking up one day and wanting to eat liver (which I hate). I have never really wanted these things before. I have been 100% devoid of empathy for kids who wanted fathers. I could feel sorry for them, but I could not feel what they felt, because I had never felt it.

Sympathy isn’t empathy.

In my heart, I have never had the feeling that anyone wanted me as a son. Not men, I mean. My mother was crazy about me.

This experience makes me wonder just how damaged and abnormal I am. Like Yossarian said, you can’t see the flies in your eyes if you have flies in your eyes.

The natural male response to problems is to say, “I’m okay. Everything is fine.” This is why it’s better to rely on men than women in a crisis. Most women like crying, becoming hysterical, and magnifying their problems. They tend to make a crisis much worse. It’s manipulation. It’s their way of getting other people to take care of them. Men stop thinking about their problems so they can function and get things done.

It’s a carnal approach. It’s something we do because we don’t know how to get God’s help. It eventually shuts off our awareness of our problems. We become numb to them. I wonder how many crippling injuries I have that I’m unaware of. I know God now, so I can get help. I don’t have to shut down the alarms and go to backup systems.

I felt I should write about these things. Preachers have done their best to poison me and keep me ignorant, and they have done the same things to everyone else, so if I benefit from knowing the truth, presumably other people will benefit, too.

I am starting to hate churches. I don’t mean I want to go shoot them up, so please don’t come and take my guns just yet. I mean I have lost patience with them, and I find the idea of being overly attached to one distasteful. It would be like marrying an annoying, hysterical woman who runs her mouth all the time and doesn’t listen. That’s how it was before, now that I think about it. A lot of good things happened at my churches, but stubbornness, pride, and emotionalism stunted everyone. I know a lot of spiritual midgets.

My churches were matriarchal. Trinity was 80% black, and New Dawn was mostly Puerto Rican. Blacks and Latins have matriarchal societies. It’s unhealthy. Matriarchy fosters denial, emotionalism, and immaturity.

I’ll keep you updated on future developments. Hope you’re not too bored.

Too Heavy, and it Smells

This entry will contain what may well be TMI (Too Much Information) concerning a very disgusting physical issue, so don’t say you weren’t warned.

For years, I’ve known our iniquities (our evil inclinations, also known as habits) come between us and the power and love of God. I was talking about it in 2009 at Trinity Church in Miami, in my microscopic, illusory authority as an armorbearer. No one wanted to hear it, because Trinity is built around making people feel good just as they are, without improving them, in order to get them to give the greedy, crooked pastors irresponsibly large donations of money.

I knew about the problem of iniquity, and I worked on it personally, but somehow, there are different levels of knowing you have problems, and the level I was on at the beginning was not that deep.

Think of it this way. You know you’re fat. You don’t do much about it. Then one day–I will assume you’re a woman, here–you see yourself on video in a bikini, and you have to go in your bedroom and close the door and cry. You wish you could find every picture of you at your current weight and burn it. Then you don’t eat for 10 days. That’s a great example of different levels of knowing you have a problem.

I won’t say I didn’t work to change. I certainly did. I never stopped praying about it. But somehow my knowledge and motivation weren’t at the forefront in my heart and mind. I struggled to put them there, but results were slow in coming.

I didn’t feel an immediate need to avert catastrophe.

I think a Christian who turns away from God can get himself sentenced to years of wandering in the wilderness. You spend years filling yourself with filth, and then you turn around, and it takes time to get rid of it, even if you try.

I had a problem with anger and cruelty. When I turned back to God, I didn’t think of myself as a particularly angry or cruel person. I disliked angry and cruel people, and in my heart, I equated that feeling with not being angry or cruel. But I have learned that hating an iniquity is not the same thing as not having it. You may have an iniquity you resist successfully and never act on. It’s still there. You can’t say you don’t have it just because it never wins.

Generally, I was not cruel, but cruelty did leak out of the box from time to time, especially in ways that I thought were acceptable. I made mean jokes and told myself it was okay because I wasn’t serious. Usually I wasn’t serious, but why would I want to say those things, regardless? Why would I be comfortable with them, given that they were part of the realm of cruelty? How did they help the world?

One night several years ago, I drove to church to run security for the evening service, and I felt love descend on me. I felt God’s love for people. I loved everybody. It was great. I was very relieved. I hoped it would stay. It didn’t, however. It was a momentary thing. I didn’t know how to hold on.

I didn’t realize I lived in a way that kept love away.

I was working to get God’s improvement all the time, but I lacked knowledge, and you know what Hosea said about people who lack knowledge. They perish.

There was no one to teach me. There still isn’t, quite honestly. There are all sorts of preachers out there who will give you obvious, powerless advice. “Stop being bad.” “Don’t do that any more.” “Change.” But they are simpletons who don’t acknowledge the supernatural power of habit. They are useless guides who give people burdens they can’t carry. You can’t just change because you want to.

Being good and doing right involve more than choice. We put very real chains on ourselves. Tell a crack addict to knock it off, and see what happens. Even if he would rather kill himself than smoke again, he’s not going to quit just because he knows he should. Iniquities are strongholds. Before you build an iniquity, you have a choice. Anyone can put down his first cigarette and walk away from it. Once you have a habit, you are literally a slave to sin.

Drug rehab has a success rate of something like 2% or 10%, depending on whom you believe. That’s probably lower than the success rate of people who quit on their own. It’s very bad. Almost no one loses weight and stays thing. Anger management classes don’t work. Habits are stronger than the people who possess them. Anyone who says otherwise is ignorant, self-righteous, or unfeeling.

Anger is a habit. Depression is a habit. Anything you can’t quit is a habit.

I had no one to teach me, because Christianity, like Judaism, is about separating people from God. God raises up witnesses and prophets (and one great messiah), and they teach us useful things. Then the fable-writers and bureaucrats take over. They build big buildings for us to sit in. They put on absolutely ridiculous costumes. Have you seen the pope’s hat? It’s beyond comical. Can you imagine wearing that hat to the store?

They create pompous names for their offices. They tell us they’re holier than we are. They make up doctrine, or, like Augustine, they steal it from Satanic religions. Forget Astarte. Now you can pray to Mary!

Want to please God? Eat fish on Friday. Go to church on Saturday. Worship statues. Pray to dead people. Give all your money to a grinning white trash idiot who says he needs a jet. Don’t eat chicken with cheese on it. Shun technology and wear black clothes. Castrate yourself. Live in a monastery and never speak. Work really hard and quote Vince Lombardi, the noted man of God.

First thing you know, they’ve convinced us God doesn’t do miracles any more, and that we aren’t going to hear from him in our daily lives. No tongues. No prophecy. No healing. No help. Lots of duty, but not much love. And love is the reason God created the universe!

Satan? Oh, he’ll be with you all the time. He’s not as lazy as God. He’ll give you diseases, wreck your marriage, ruin your career, make you insane…he’s a hustler. But God won’t talk to you or do anything for you until you die. If he doesn’t talk to Father Garcia, who does such wonderful work with the boys’ dance team, why would he talk to you?

We are raised on other people’s excrement instead of the word of God.

God told me all sorts of stuff. He saved me from preachers. But he didn’t tell me everything at once. It unfolds, day by day. This is unfortunate, because I am mortal. It’s too late for me to have a good life as a young man. The bread is gone, so all I have to work with is the crust. I can forget about a normal family and grandchildren and so on. But I’m glad I’m getting what I’m getting. It’s better to have one good year before you die than to recant as a disgraceful coward on your deathbed.

What I’m getting is certainly preferable to what I deserve.

Lately, the knowledge that I have to get free of anger is pushing to the front of the auditorium. I am acutely aware of it.

The Bible says our righteousness is like filthy menstrual rags to God. If it says that, then it’s true. It is literally true. God isn’t exaggerating to make a point. He is saying we stink in his nostrils, and that the sight of us disgusts him. This is why Jesus had to be crucified in order for God to have a relationship with us. There had to be something put between God and our stink, so God could tolerate our presence.

For a long time, I’ve felt that I stank before God. I know what houses are like when filthy people live in them. In some cases, you can smell the feces, urine, mold, and rot from thirty feet out in the yard. In others, you may walk in the door and be hit instantly with the sharp smell of fermented urine, from bathrooms where no one ever lifts the seat or closes the door. You may smell rotten garbage because the bag in the kitchen is always full. I’ve felt like God was telling me, “I live in you, and I won’t leave you, but you have to stop making yourself stink.”

In the Bible, a body is a house. Things that happen to houses tell us about things that happen to bodies. In the Old Testament, a person who constantly spoke ill of others could develop a type of leprosy that infected the walls of his house. God didn’t do this to people because he had something against houses. He was telling them what they were like, to him.

If you think people can’t stink to God, think about this: prayers and sacrifices smell good to him. The Bible says so. Our prayers rise to heaven and perfume it. If that’s true, what do you think our iniquities and sins do? Look at part of Psalm 38.

For mine iniquities are gone over mine head: as an heavy burden they are too heavy for me.
My wounds stink and are corrupt because of my foolishness.
I am troubled; I am bowed down greatly; I go mourning all the day long.
For my loins are filled with a loathsome disease: and there is no soundness in my flesh.

That’s not about an unbeliever. It’s about one of God’s servants.

People think accepting salvation makes us perfect and clean in God’s eyes, forever. Really? Does salvation make God stupid or blind? You can sin after you’re saved, and God does not like it. You can even go to hell. You can renounce salvation if you feel like it.

There are naked Christian women on stripper poles right now. Does God see them as perfect?

God gets angry with believers. I used to think he didn’t, but I was misled.

In the book of Acts, a believer named Simon tried to buy supernatural gifts from the apostles. This was a man who believed and was baptized. Look what Peter said:

Thou hast neither part nor lot in this matter: for thy heart is not right in the sight of God. Repent therefore of this thy wickedness, and pray God, if perhaps the thought of thine heart may be forgiven thee.

Peter wasn’t even sure Simon, a baptized believer, was forgiven.

At Trinity Church, Simon wouldn’t have been scolded at all. If he had come and donated a lot of money, they would have assigned armorbearers to park his car, follow him around, and usher him to a good seat, possibly next to Kim Kardashian or Luther Campbell. They would have said salvation lasts forever, and that God could not be angry at him, because he was saved.

The fact that God chooses to cover your faults does not mean he is no longer aware of them, or that they don’t make him angry. Not if the story of Simon is true.

I felt that my iniquities made me stink to God. They certainly make me stink to myself. I had to deal with my dad and my sister, who made houses stink, and I felt that God was telling me, “This is what it’s like for me to live in you.” I felt God was using my relatives as teaching tools.

Recently I got a disgusting cyst on my back. It became inflamed and swelled. I have had several of these during my life, probably because of a peculiarity of my skin. Anyway, these things are known for having contents that don’t smell great. But this one…it smelled so bad, I noticed it not just when it was being poked or examined, but at random times throughout the day.

This thing contained a substance that literally smelled like a pile of dead bums rotting in the sun. If you’ve ever been close to a hardcore bum, you know the smell I’m talking about. Fermented excretions and rotten meat. I hope you never have to be exposed to a cyst that expels anything like this, because it makes rotten fish smell like a flower shop. A spray that smelled like this would be effective in wars or in breaking up riots.

I’m physically clean, so this is not something you would ordinarily expect to deal with around me.

I prayed and so forth, and eventually the cyst yielded a huge quantity of seemingly radioactive contents and subsided. Finally, I could stop checking myself and changing shirts all the time.

TMI, I know, but there is a point. It made me think about the things inside me that needed to be cleared up. God will stay with me and keep helping me even if I don’t improve, but I will always have limited power and peace. Certain things won’t be healed. Certain situations won’t work out the way they should. I won’t receive certain good things God wants me to have.

The cyst was on my back, where I couldn’t see it. It was like the iniquities I hide from myself. It was hard to reach. It was hard to work on. It was like the inner issues I deny.

I make God live in a house full of poop and garbage. It’s like he has to go around wearing a bum’s pants. And he’s God! He should never have to deal with any type of filth.

No one ever gets really clean, as far as I know, but I should be doing better than this.

The other day I saw a helpful video related to my issues. Tom Fischer, the street healer, met a young woman who had a problem with one eye. She had accidentally poked herself at work. This girl had been a Christian all her life. He tried to heal her, and nothing happened. Then he asked her if she was angry at her employer. She said she was. She was also complacent in her walk with God.

If you’re complacent, you won’t try to get yourself improved. You won’t examine yourself and take your iniquities before God and get rid of them. Rot will grow in you, and demonic activity will increase in the house which is your body. That’s just common sense.

He talked to her about her spiritual issues, and she repented. Then he was able to heal her.

The video contains a long segment in which he says it’s harder to heal Christians than unbelievers. We are more accountable, because we know when we’re in the wrong.

It’s interesting that it was her eye that had the problem. Jesus said we should take the splinters out of our own eyes–we should confront and get rid of our own iniquities–before helping others with their iniquities.

I’ll embed the video here.

I am not promoting this man as the answer to your prayers. You need to hear from God, one on one. No man can be trusted, and besides, God wants contact with his children. But Tom Fischer can be helpful.

I’m going to keep working on confession and change. People will tell me I’m condemning myself. Well, Peter rebuked Jesus for predicting the crucifixion. We’re supposed to crucify the flesh. If I criticize myself before God, it’s not an execution. It’s a way to get more life. It’s like lancing a cyst. I don’t feel condemned at all. I feel more free.

Anger has weight. It makes me feel like Satan gave me heavy armor to wear, after taking it off a bum. Blech.

It’s true that people do bad things to provoke me, but if I use that to justify anger, I give them control of my heart. I put a valve in their hands, and they can turn it to shut off the flow of God’s help. That’s a double victory for them.

I would stay away from the feel-good preachers if I were you. They’re just putting dirty bandages on your sores, to make the infection increase. Eventually, these things come to crisis.

Time to Get Rid of the Revolving Door

There are certain sins I still fall into, and it’s really annoying. God gives me tools that work to keep me out of trouble, but every so often I slip. Humility is great, but nobody wants to have it forced on them by repeated failures.

I don’t worry too much, because God says, “The steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord: and he delighteth in his way. Though he fall, he shall not be utterly cast down: for the Lord upholdeth him with his hand.”

I don’t think “good,” as used in this passage, means “perfect.” I think it applies to anyone who is seriously on the path.

Hope that’s correct, because no one is good.

I feel like God is telling me I have to get away from the spirit of murder.

A few years back I was in church, and the Holy Spirit was working. I realized I had a spirit of murder, and I got it cast out. I was surprised. Imagine having God tell you you have a spirit of murder. I would have been shocked if it had been shoplifting. Murder is another level.

It doesn’t mean I was in danger of murdering people. In my case, it meant I stabbed at people with words. I have been mistreated a lot in life, which hardly makes me unique and does not excuse anything. One of the ways I responded to mistreatment was to develop the ability to use words with cruelty.

There are some benefits to a murderous tongue. Bullies will be repelled by it, just as they are repelled by physical force. The don’t like being humiliated in front of other people, especially when they don’t have the tools to fight back in kind. I drove a number of vicious people away with words. But it’s not God’s way. It’s necessary to say very harsh things sometimes, but to lash people and take pleasure in their pain and embarrassment is not good.

For a long time, I’ve felt that God wants me to abstain from ridicule. It’s hard to do, though. When you’re good at using a weapon, it’s not easy to make yourself put it down.

Your enemies won’t all stop just because you do. That’s for sure. When you stop ridiculing people, you disarm unilaterally.

There is some hope, I suppose. The Bible says that when a man’s ways please God, even his enemies will be at peace with him. It doesn’t mean no one will ever bother you again, but our sins call enemies who pop up suddenly from beneath the horizon, and reducing sin reduces the number of enemies you yourself attract proactively.

The spirit was cast out, but spirits come back in when you leave the door open and put a refrigerator full of snacks and beer beside it.

I have always been a fatherless person. This morning I was thinking about all the brilliant things I tell kids, and a realization stabbed me in the gut. This stuff is easy, and it’s extremely helpful, but I had no one to do it for me when I was young.

Forgive me for saying I say brilliant things to kids, but it’s true. Every adult who learns from experience and the Holy Spirit has brilliant things to say to kids. I didn’t say the ideas I pass on are unique to me or that I deserve credit for them, but they’re still brilliant. If I tell a young person he has to pray in tongues every day in order to grow, that’s brilliant, but no one will ever call me a sage because I said it. Lots of people say it.

I have been fatherless. No one gave me any wisdom to speak of. My dad was a coarse, scary person who came home every night and watched TV in his underwear in front of the whole family and whoever else came by. He had two kids and an IQ in the 140’s, but that was his life, apart from golf on the weekends. My mother didn’t know all that much, and she was stifled by my dad anyway. I grew like a weed, not a crop plant. I figured things out on my own, and I reached the wrong conclusions. I didn’t know anything of value.

I failed all the time, as a lifestyle. No wonder! I didn’t know anything at all about success. I went to school with people whose parents checked their homework, told them how to get ahead, told them how to deal with dating and marriage, and taught them about money. A lot of other students thought I was the smartest person in a class full of very bright people, but kids with much less ability sailed right past me. I didn’t know they had these advantages over me. How could I have known? I didn’t know why I couldn’t succeed.

Nobody taught me about the Holy Spirit, sanctification, prayer in tongues, hostile spirits, or the kingdom of God. I didn’t grow. I rotted. It’s very easy to tell people their sins sow a harvest of opposition and defeat, but no one around me knew it, and no one told me.

I’m telling you now, for what it’s worth. Maybe you’re fatherless, too. If you cast a spirit out through one door and then hold another door open through habitual sin, the spirit will come back, bringing your old shackles with it. Jesus said a spirit could bring seven worse spirits with it.

Dogs go back to their vomit, and pigs that are washed go back and lie down in feces.

Man, I wish I hadn’t been raised in the dark. I feel like a bonsai tree. What would I have been, with the proper management?

I was also fatherless at church. The pastors above me were all about cash and having their butts kissed. They were little men and women who served their egos, not their flocks.

No wonder the Bible says, “Call no man your father upon the earth: for one is your Father, which is in heaven,” and, “Stop relying on man, in whose nostrils is a mere breath — after all, he doesn’t count for much, does he?”

I remember watching the first Superman movie when I was a kid. Lex Luthor surprised me by saying something my mother always said, and with which the Bible agrees: “People are no damn good.” That saying is attributed to a cartoonist named William Steig, but I have a feeling it’s ancient.

Today I was watching a Tom Fischer video. He’s the guy I wrote about the other day. He does street ministry. He heals people on the spot. He started talking about healings that go away.

Anti-Christian activists love to “debunk” faith healing, pointing to individuals who thought they were healed and were later found to be ill. They don’t realize that even a carnival barker and disgraceful scoundrel like Benny Hinn may get people healed. The problem is that selfish preachers don’t teach people how to stay healed. They just want to use believers to promote themselves and bring money in.

Fischer said a spirit can return more than once, and that this is especially true if you keep sinning. He quoted Jesus, who healed a man and told him to straighten up or else something worse might come to him. I have had that experience. I wouldn’t say worse things have come to me, but things that have been driven off have returned.

One of the most famous exorcisms was performed by Lester Sumrall, in the Philippines. An occultist prostitute named Clarita Villanueva manifested bite marks all over her body. Sumrall cast her demons out and astounded the nation. But he had to do it more than once. The demons tried to undo the exorcism. I’ve heard preachers talk a lot about exorcism, but not many talk about the need for repeat engagements or post-exorcism repentance and sanctification.

This makes me think of Trinity Church and the other church I belonged to. They were extremely weak on repentance. The Wilkersons, who run Trinity, only care about money and getting their faces on TV. They were happy to teach about the things God does for people, but they worked in the ghetto, where sin and denial are gigantic strongholds, and they were afraid that if they taught repentance people would leave. They were probably right. Ghetto people love to scream and roll on the floor in church, but they will still work as strippers, whores, and drug dealers the rest of the week, and they do not like talking about hypocrisy.

Rich Wilkerson allowed Luther “Luke Skyywalker” Campbell to speak at the church. He made my armorbearer team give him a special seat and escort him around as a VIP. Wilkerson bragged on social media about the church’s relationship with Kanye West and Kim Kardashian. Kim Kardashian is one of the world’s most famous and powerful unrepentant sluts! If you haven’t seen Kim Kardashian naked, you must live in an abandoned mine shaft.

Whores stick together, I suppose.

What good does it do you to cast something out and start rebuilding your life when you know your guest is coming back?

No pastor at any church taught these things to me, and I went to church faithfully for 7 years. I was a deacon when the pastor’s wife drove me out of my last church, and I had never seen a sermon about these ideas. Thankfully, God showed them to me without help from pastors.

Denouncing the feel-good gospel is what got me in trouble at church. Rich Wilkerson called me a divider because I criticized Steve Munsey’s money-raising fables, which Wilkerson knows to be untrue. At New Dawn Ministries, the pastor was lazy and emasculated, and his wife, who loved signs and goodies, wore the pants and did his PR. She got fed up with me and blocked me on social media.

The Bible says God is a father to the fatherless. How true that is, if (and only if) you have a strong habit of spending time with him.

Nearly any human being will let you down. You have to have someone you can depend on. You can’t put your complete trust in people who are close to you, and you have to be especially wary of Christian celebrities. You don’t need a megachurch. You need a microchurch, consisting of you and God. That’s the holy of holies. Everything outside of that is inferior and less clean.

I’m going to go back and watch a few more videos. I love watching God work in small groups. The world needs more micro churches. Once you get past 4 members, you need to split up.

Stay Away From Choke Points

As much fun as it is writing about my new fort and game camera, I feel like writing about God today. If I end up having a topic, it will probably be the upcoming decentralization of the church by the Holy Spirit.

A few days back I wrote about a man named Ken Peters. He had some long dreams about the future. He had these dreams in 1980. He was a “practicing Catholic” (his term) at the time, and he says that because he was a practicing Catholic, he didn’t know anything about prophecy or the Bible. His dreams line up well with what’s happening today and with what many Spirit-filled Christians expect to happen in the near future.

Here’s something I’ve been harping on for years: I believe God has been telling me the day of the bloated, pus-filled megachurch is ending. Is “pus-filled” harsh? I guess it is. Anyway, I think he has told me the day of the bloated, pus-filled megachurch is ending. I expect to see a true grassroots church rise up, connected and taught by the Holy Spirit, with no tithes or church-mandated offerings.

Everyone loves to say, “I hate organized religion.” I think God was the first to say it.

Ken Peters saw post-rapture grassroots revival in his dream. Here’s something he said:

It was almost like everybody was like Jesus walking around doing these works. You did not have to have a pulpit to stand behind to do this in this part of the dream. As a matter of fact I never saw anyone standing behind a pulpit. I think they finally understood the purpose of the ministry is equipping and releasing you to go out and be God’s superstars.

BAM! Am I too old to say that? I want to be cool so the “kids” will “dig” me. I want them to take photos with me with selfie sticks made from recycled materials. I want to wear skinny jeans and grow a beard that looks like Chaz Bono’s. Anyway, BAM!

I don’t really want any of that stuff. I’m just riffing on hip preachers. That includes anyone who inserts “dude” in a Bible verse.

I’m so sick of churches and denominations. I hate being told I have to give money to rich white trash. I’m tired of the idea that gasbag denomination bigwigs have to give God permission to do things. “Sorry, Father. We’re cessationists. Take your miracles outside.”

It just hit me…isn’t this exactly what the rabbinic Jews did to Jesus? He healed people on the Sabbath repeatedly, just to infuriate them, and it worked. Look at John 9:

They took the man who had been blind to the P’rushim. Now the day on which Yeshua had made the mud and opened his eyes was Shabbat. So the P’rushim asked him again how he had become able to see; and he told them, “He put mud on my eyes, then I washed, and now I can see.” At this, some of the P’rushim said, “This man is not from God, because he doesn’t keep Shabbat.” But others said, “How could a man who is a sinner do miracles like these?” And there was a split among them. So once more they spoke to the blind man: “Since you’re the one whose eyes he opened, what do you say about him?” He replied: “He is a prophet.”

“P’rushim” means “Pharisees.”

While I was looking that up, I came across a neat passage from Mark, which preceded a story about a healing. Maybe it’s the same healing (Bartimaeus) mentioned above. James (Ya’akov) and John (Yochanan) had been trying to get Jesus to give them the best seats in heaven, and Jesus set them straight:

When the other ten heard about this, they became outraged at Ya‘akov and Yochanan. But Yeshua called them to him and said to them, “You know that among the Goyim, those who are supposed to rule them become tyrants, and their superiors become dictators. But among you, it must not be like that! On the contrary, whoever among you wants to be a leader must be your servant; and whoever wants to be first among you must become everyone’s slave! For the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve — and to give his life as a ransom for many.”

How apt is that? As soon as you build a church and call a man pastor, you begin setting one believer above another. People start to think they’re supposed to kiss up to God’s special little secretaries instead of talking to their father directly. The whole system falls apart.

I can’t imagine having to live by the claptrap that comes from the mind of a grandstanding socialist pope or his homosexual employees. And the nonsense that comes from greedy charismatics is beneath spitting on.

Churches will come under legal regulation, right here in the USA. Anything resembling guidance from the Holy Spirit will be banned. You wait and see. This is what will happen, if churches are allowed to exist at all. When that time comes, going to church won’t be much better than going to a whorehouse. Satan will be able to control and/or ban churches, just as he does in China and Saudi Arabia. But he will never be able to control individuals. At least not to the point where you can’t pass the message on before being turned in by Siri or Alexa.

Satan is weak and small. He needs human organizations to propagate his authority. God can work through trillions of people simultaneously if he feels like it, with no physical communication between them at all.

The argument that Peters is a prophet is bolstered by his prediction that individuals will spread the gospel in the future. If he had said the pope would do it, I would have quit reading him, possibly after throwing up.

While I was looking at testimonies on Youtube the other day, I found a guy named Tom Fischer. He calls his outfit “Cardboard Box Church.” My best guess is that he and his wife ARE the ministry. He has a blog, and I don’t see any sign of a big building or TV cameras.

This couple walks around talking to people. They ask if they’re in pain. They ask about other health problems. Then they pray for people, or they command illnesses to go. They tell people Jesus loves them. Nothing controversial. Well, his work isn’t controversial unless you belong to “the only church founded by Jesus” or a religion that calls Jesus “May his name be blotted out forever.”

The people in the videos say they’re healed. BANG (I got tired of “BAM!”)! Are they really healed? You will have to ask them. I don’t know everything. Anyway, they do things like lifting crutches up and walking on feet that had been sore minutes earlier.

This is what Christianity is supposed to be. You tell people about God. You tell them he, not you, is the healer. You do what the Bible says Christians are supposed to do, i.e., you get people healed. You don’t beg for money. You don’t say, “Man, I need a jet.” You don’t stand in front of your church, like my last pastor, and tell members they have to give money to you on your birthday, along with cash to honor your dope-dealer son.

You can do individual ministry outdoors. You can do it at the mall. You can do it in your living room. It’s free. No equipment is required. You can even do it by yourself. Prayer, blessing, and cursing are ministry.

Fischer and his wife have videos where they heal people in Israel. That takes guts. The Orthodox are very hard on Christians and Jewish believers who talk to Jews in Israel. You can catch a beating. You may have rocks thrown at you. Being spat on is almost obligatory. And when you accost any Jewish person, anywhere, and mention Jesus, you’re likely to be cursed and called a Nazi. Somehow Christianity has become associated with an anti-Christian political faction, and no amount of logic can shatter the delusion.

It probably doesn’t help that the Hebrew word for Christians is “Notzrim,” which sounds like “Nazi” but is a reference to Nazareth.

I can’t imagine making headway with ANY Jewish person, let alone an Israeli inside Israel. I’ve known tons of Jewish believers, but no unbelieving Jew has ever shown the slightest interest in Jesus around me. I’ve had lots of Jewish friends who didn’t believe, and I went to school with hundreds of Jews, and not one has ever demonstrated any inclination to consider accepting Jesus. I don’t deal with Jews here in northern Florida, but back when I saw them from time to time, I didn’t bother trying to give them what I had. It’s astonishing to see the Fischers pull it off.

Forget Jews; I can’t even talk to Christians about God. They get angry. They become uncomfortable. They tell me they know everything already. I am the least effective evangelist on earth. I am singular. Talking to Jews about Jesus is something I consider impossible.

I’m getting off the topic. To return, I like the kind of ministry the Fischers have, and I know it’s the Christianity of the future. It’s unstoppable. Stopping a church is like forcing a bus to stop. Easy. Stopping billions of Christians is like trying to catch every raindrop before it hits the ground.

I love the way these healings take place. There is no fasting. No one cries or screams. People don’t walk around in circles, begging God to help. Fischer says things like, “Pain, go now, in the name of Jesus,” and that’s it. Very nice.

Imagine how different unbelievers and backsliders would feel if this is what they thought of when they thought of Christians. They’d see us as powerful, helpful people, not fat, crap-spewing leeches who make TV pulpits stink like gangrene. The characters who go on TV and pour vomit into our ears were put there by Satan, not God. They work for Satan. They drive intelligent people away.

I saw a video in which Fischer talks about President Trump. Fischer sounds like a yankee, and his wife has a Jewish first name, so one would not assume he was conservative. His video startled me, because he spoke in support of Trump. He has the same kind of concerns other serious Christians have. He sees censorship increasing. He’s against gun control. He talks about martial law. It’s amazing how the Holy Spirit invariably makes people more conservative.

Conservatism isn’t God’s answer to our problems. When separated from God, it’s carnal. But you can’t be led by the Holy Spirit and be anything but conservative. Liberalism is based on hatred of God combined with covetousness and pride. Leftism tries to make our stupid, cruel, unfair, greedy, incompetent government the messiah. It’s worse than a golden calf. A golden calf can’t take your money or force your kids to sit and listen to homosexual and anti-Christian indoctrination.

I feel like I’m burying myself when I write blog entries like this. I’m giving the devil’s people nails to drive into my coffin.

Imagine what would happen if I ran for office. Imagine me being offered any position of power. The freaks and witches would find my blog and republish excerpts all over the world. They would call it hate. The SPLC, a true hate group, would give me official recognition, simply for believing the Bible.

Right now, it’s legal to say the things I say. That won’t always be true, and there is no legal guarantee that I won’t be punished in the future, for future laws I’m breaking today. As of this minute, our system has a powerful bias against enacting laws that punish people for prior acts, but there is no reason that can’t change. Funny how no one ever talks about that. Our pundits are very obtuse about things that should be obvious. Remember the real estate crash? How many investing geniuses thought it would never come? And we still listen to them.

When the Soviets, who served Satan, went after the Christian Czar and his family, they didn’t give them a trial or think about the legality of the things they had done. They put them in a basement and fired pistols into their brains. When the leftists in Cambodia executed people for crimes such as reading and wearing glasses, no one was interested in prior laws. The statists in Nazi Germany and Austria punished and murdered people who had not committed crimes, and they even did it outside their own borders, to citizens of other countries.

Satan’s people are very efficient. They don’t believe in a God who punishes evil, and they think people are just smart monkeys without enduring spirits. They will kill us here, just as they have killed tens of millions overseas. They will kill us just as we run chickens through mechanized slaughterhouses. They’ve done it before.

The people who will do it are here already. They are your neighbors, coworkers, and relatives. A lot of parents will be turned in or even murdered by their children. Remember when Obama told kids to spy on their parents? That idea didn’t come from his own confused little mind. He didn’t build that. His master gave him a prompt.

Sometimes I think about all the religious and conservative personalities who tussle and quarrel openly with their Satanic counterparts. They feel safe, not because they think God looks out for them, but because they expect our laws to protect them. Big mistake. One day the Internet Wayback Machine, which preserves all sorts of material from the web, will be used to regurgitate evidence to be used at trials. Wait and see. Things people said that were legal in 2005 may get them hanged in 2025.

Fischer says something interesting, and I agree with it. He says the path is becoming narrower. Decades ago, Christians here could get by without real sanctification. As he notes, we like to say, “I am a work in progress,” instead of cleaning our lives up. That won’t fly in the future. You will have to know God personally in order to get protection. I know what it’s like, getting action from God. I’ve done it many times. I know how to lay the groundwork. It takes a long time. You can’t do it the minute the Climate Change Denier Einsatzgruppe pulls into your driveway in a stretch Prius.

Describing churches full of weak believers, Jesus said. “What a terrible time it will be for pregnant women and nursing mothers!” My old church, Trinity in Miami, taught people to stay in sin and worship money. Most of the people at Trinity will join Satan because they never belongd to God in the first place. They’re on Facebook now, promoting BLM, which is a Satanic movement. Most of those who won’t join Satan will be trampled and crushed, because they are corrupt, empty-headed, and feeble.

If you don’t know God personally and communicate with him throughout the day, you are running naked through an electrical storm, and you are not going to make it.

I keep watching Fischer’s videos. I hope I’m right about him. So far, he checks out, but I have made mistakes before.

Fined and Dandy

I finished today’s first prayer session around an hour ago, the breakfast dishes are still with me, and I already have some testimony.

I’ll tell you about the problem I was facing down in Dade County.

I manage my dad’s properties. One is a warehouse. Years ago, someone who was in charge of it did some work. He submitted plans and got a permit, and then he did whatever he wanted. Last year, the fire inspector noticed this, and we were warned that we would eventually be cited. This problem applied to 6 units, so several other owners were on the hook.

I talked to the inspector, and I could not get straight answers out of her. She made it sound like she wasn’t even sure there would be a citation. I was told that the condo association was working on it, and that whoever was in charge of citations would issue a ruling some day.

This dragged on for a few months. That inspector left, and she was replaced with a lady who barely speaks English. I know that sounds incredible, but Dade Couny is like a foreign country. I really mean it’s like a foreign country. I’m not being cute or exaggerating.

I called her and spoke to her, and I didn’t understand her at all. I understood her to say a citation had been issued. We had received a confusing notice. She said to call a third inspector. I put that off for maybe three weeks because I was working with everyone to get the buildings fixed.

Last week the tenants flipped out because the third inspector told them they could have a problem with their occupational license. My realtor contacted me, and we went back and forth.

I had contacted the third inspector about paying the fine, and he had sent me a link to a site that allowed people to pay for inspections (not fines). I paid, and I didn’t see any fines listed. I assumed everything went through one site. I thought that was the end of it. Eventually, I learned that the fine had been multiplied by a large number, with no notice to me. And I had no idea how to pay it, even though I had been contacting the department and asking them.

This was not a catastrophic fine, but it was very, very high. I had received no notice that the fine was increasing, so I was very disturbed.

I believe the problem is that the department held the tenants responsible and sent them all the communications. I didn’t understand that until last week. Anyway, it seemed crazy for the department to pay for its new fleet and headquarters off of one minor violation, with no warning to the citizen being fined.

I should have paid immediately, but the misleading conversations I had with the inspectors led me to believe I could wait and settle up when the dust cleared. I didn’t realize the fine fell under the heading of code enforcement. I had a code issue a couple of years back, and the city threatened to fine my dad $150 per day over something. If I had understood that the fire people worked the same way, I would have kept them on the phone every day until I had gotten the fire fine fixed.

I sent the inspector a bunch of emails on Friday, and on my own, I found a second site where the fine was listed. I paid the original fine, minus the penalties, just to show good faith.

I was stressed out all weekend, in spite of the supernatural tools God has given me to fight worry. One of my shortcomings is that when God gives me weapons, I often won’t use them the way I should. I should have spent much more time in prayer this weekend. I did pretty well, but I should have done better. Every problem–I don’t care what it is–will eventually respond to prayer in tongues. I learned that a long time ago, but I still slack off.

While I was praying this weekend, I thanked God over and over for the ordeal I was going through. Things like this always improve me. I do not enjoy them, but they never fail to produce a harvest.

Last night my friend Amanda said she would pray about the problem. She didn’t know any details. I was glad to hear she was praying. She gets very good results. In particular, she keeps getting burns healed.

Today after prayer, I found I had a voicemail. The inspector, who had been so hard to get information out of in the past, had left me a message. He said I needed to pay the initial fine (he hadn’t checked), and that they would work with me on the penalty.

Case dismissed. Back to Defcon 5. Whatever they end up charging us won’t be anything like what they threatened us with.

God does what he says he will do, and he fixes problems we create and exacerbate.

I can’t tell you how many times things like this have happened to me. I should know better than to get upset. I do know better. That doesn’t always stop me.

God has given me several words concerning worry. They have come to me over the years. One is, “Worry is the voice of Satan.” Another is, “There is nothing good about worry.” A lot of people think worrying makes them righteous, but the Bible says faith is accounted unto us as righteousness, and we know faith kills worry, so how can worry make you righteous? It’s a sick idea.

Today I got another one: “Worry is not allowed in here.” The word “here” refers to my mind and heart. That was helpful.

To understand how these phrases work, you have to repeat them to yourself several times during prayer. They make supernatural energy well up in me. I can feel it. If you just read them on a screen, they look stupid. If they don’t impress you, it’s because you haven’t put them to work.

I got another interesting word today, and I’m sure it won’t impress: “I am a living thing.” What this means is that I am always changing. I never remain the same. I improve or I rot. I can’t stand still. This is a very Biblical idea. Think of manna. If you eat it the same day you receive it, it’s good. If you try to save it and eat it the next day, you find it’s full of worms. You’re not supposed to stay in the same place and cling to the same solutions all the time. You have to grow and increase and receive new things.

I can’t remember how this applies to the situation I’ve been dealing with. Sorry about that.

I wish I could offer a testimony about how I did everything right because God had made me a great person, instead of one about him fixing my screwups, but I am still not perfect yet. Check back with me in a month. Surely it won’t take any longer than that.

In other news, my hunting knife is supposed to arrive today. Squirrel season ended yesterday. I hear tiny high-pitched giggles coming from the front yard.

I found some nice squirrel feeders on Amazon, so the giggling should come to an abrupt stop when squirrel season starts in October. In the meantime I have to figure turkeys out.

Soon the HAL 9000 Will be Picking Out Your Ties

Lots to think about today. It’s generally God-related, so you can’t say you weren’t warned.

First off, I keep feeling a pressing need to confess and criticize myself. I keep having prayer sessions in which I struggle very hard to dig up the worst dirt on myself I can remember. It’s a little nauseating. It makes me wonder if other people are as bad as I am. Part of me hopes they are, which is perverse.

Every person has areas of sin in his life. It’s not hard to put names on them. Lust. Greed. Dishonesty. They’re all bad, but for me, some are harder to think about than others. I don’t know how other people see sin, but for me, sins of cowardice and cruelty are the most embarrassing. They are hard to discuss with God, even though I know he knows all about them before I speak, and they are hard for me to think about.

Between cowardice and cruelty, cruelty is harder to confront. I’m not a serial killer, but I have done some really evil things during my life. They stand out like beacons in the landscape of my past. Like arrest warrants with sirens and flashing lights.

I’ve always known that people, including me, were evil, but I tried not to dive into my personal muck too deeply, and I felt that I was okay, at least by human standards. When I have these sessions with God, though, I wonder how he can want to save me. If I saw someone else doing certain things I’ve done, I would be appalled.

I suppose I would not consider them unworthy of the effort it would take to change them. I know that’s true, because I know people who have done terrible things. I don’t marvel that God would want to save them. I would tell them it doesn’t matter what they’ve done. Murder, child molestation, animal cruelty…I would tell them God is ready to accept anyone who applies. That must be true for me, too.

I know Christians–even those baptized with the Holy Spirit–have demons. Living in a flesh body is a little like driving a school bus full of brats. You have to exercise authority while continuously being challenged and told what to do. When you accept the baptism with the Holy Spirit, he boards the bus, but he doesn’t necessarily ride alone.

I believe that when you refuse to confront your iniquities–your evil inclinations–and tell God about them, you give demons passes. They can say, “We’re allowed to be here. The driver says it’s okay.” I believe it’s important to go through the deworming process. Otherwise, the Holy Spirit sits in the back and lets you and your demons do what you want. I believe it limits his participation in your life.

I have less peace than I want. I think it’s because God showed me how to succeed, and I turned away. Thirty years ago, he told me I needed to pray in tongues a lot every day, and I let it go. I didn’t have the full understanding of it, but that doesn’t excuse me. You’re not supposed to base your obedience on consequences. You obey, whether you understand the consequences or not. If you know you’re supposed to do something, and you don’t do it, you’re guilty. God isn’t obligated to give you an explanatory brochure every time he gives you counsel.

I should have spent these years getting cleaned up, but I spent about 17 of them doing as I pleased. I rarely prayed in tongues. I went entire days without praying at all. I think I tried to be “good” by the world’s standards. I tried not to do things that made other people suffer. I didn’t do a great job. Living by the world’s rules doesn’t make you a moral, disciplined person.

My best guess is that during my time away, I was collecting spirits and feeding them. I was holding the shackles steady while they welded them shut. Now I’m going through a long regurgitation process which would have been much shorter and easier had I listened in the first place.

Some people say that God will eventually show every second of our lives to everyone who has ever existed. Could you stand that? I wonder if anyone would still want to speak with me if everyone knew everything I’ve done, thought, and felt.

Here is what Psalm 32 says:

Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, whose sin is covered.

Blessed is the man unto whom the Lord imputeth not iniquity, and in whose spirit there is no guile.

When I kept silence, my bones waxed old through my roaring all the day long.

For day and night thy hand was heavy upon me: my moisture is turned into the drought of summer. Selah.

America is full of feel-good churches that teach people to ignore their iniquities. How can you be healed if you don’t let the doctor look at the pus? Why are we so afraid of accepting responsibility? We already know God will forgive us, so why not get it over with?

The answer is that preachers are terrified of losing their audience. They love money. Some want to impress their superiors and keep their jobs. Some measure themselves by attendance figures. They look for ways to rationalize flattery and denial. It’s not a mystery.

There is a martial art called aikido. One of the principles is that it’s good to use your opponent’s momentum against him. It can be difficult to stop a hostile person’s movements, but if you can find a way to direct those movements so they cause your opponent to fall or whatever, you can save a lot of energy and effort. The devil uses the same approach. If he can’t lure you to do something new, he can always find the bad things you’re already doing and remove the obstacles.

Flattery is poison. Look what happens to celebrities. Look at Elvis and Michael Jackson. They probably never heard the word “no” after they turned 20. They ended up dressing in costumes, like superheroes. They became completely disconnected from reality. They behaved like spoiled gods. Like Will Smith’s son.

Flattery destroyed them, and it can destroy you, too. The devil saw what these men wanted to do, and he gave them the power to do it. He took away wise counsel and surrounded them with yes-men. After that, he didn’t have to do much at all.

I wonder what my life will be like after I endure most of the major cleaning that has to be done. I assume there will be more peace. It’s hard to imagine that while you’re in the middle of the process.

Let’s change the topic. Here’s something else: I read a strange testimony from a guy named Ken Peters. I am not endorsing him. I don’t know enough about him to do that. In 1980, he had a couple of long, detailed dreams about the end of the world. You can read a transcript of his remarks about them. It’s sobering.

Before I get to the details of his dreams, I want to write about his background. He said he didn’t know the Bible very well, that he knew nothing about prophecy, and that he had not accepted Jesus personally…because he was a “practicing Catholic.” Is that really how it works? I know Catholicism is a mess, but he makes it sound worse than I thought.

Here’s an excerpt:

At the time I received this dream I was not even a believer in Jesus Christ. I was raised in the Catholic Church but had never personally invited the Lord Jesus to come into my heart to be my Lord. As a practicing Catholic, I had no knowledge of what the Bible said about the tribulation period or any of the events of the last days.

Chilling. The Catholic Church is very, very big.

He said his exposure to the Bible was mainly composed of little passages that were read aloud in church services. Apparently, no one shoved a Bible into his hands and told him to read it. Can that be true? Even the worst charismatic preacher will tell you to read the Bible. This is fundamental. The notion of a Christian who doesn’t read the Bible is unthinkable in charismatic churches. I would guess that most Protestants outside of the Episcopal church have the same attitude.

If you aren’t familiar with the Bible, you are a zero as a Christian. You don’t know what you believe. You don’t know whom you believe in. You don’t know where you came from. You have no idea what’s going to happen in the future. You’re probably going to hell, because a valid decision to accept salvation is an informed decision. You can’t tell God you accepted Jesus because Mom said you had to.

Talking to Christians who don’t read the Bible is like talking to foreign spies pretending to be Americans. Imagine a spy who speaks English perfectly but doesn’t know our laws or our customs. When you mention Biblical ideas to such Christians, you get one blank look after another.

I hope Peters was exaggerating.

As for not knowing Jesus on any personal level, I don’t think it’s possible to be saved and not know him. How can you give your heart to him sincerely if you don’t feel he’s there?

Christianity is a relationship with a living God who communicates with you. If you don’t have that, you need to ask God for it, because you’re in trouble. He didn’t just dump us here, like unwanted toddlers in day care, and say he would send a Salvadoran nanny to pick us up. He is right here with us. He said he would never leave or forsake us. His presence is always available.

You can be baptized and go to hell. You can think you’re a Christian and go to hell. Look at the Mormons. You better be careful not to trust your church’s authorities too much. God won’t listen when you try to blame them for your lack of salvation.

A lot of people who say they’ve had visions of hell say it’s full of Christians. That is true. I know it’s true, because there are entire churches full of unrepentant homosexuals. There are gay churches. You can’t get salvation while deliberately building your life around a sin.

Ken Peters, who did not know what the rapture was or what the book of Revelation said, told a disturbing story.

First, he said a horn blew, certain graves flew open, and people ascended into the air and disappeared. That would be unnerving, especially for the people who witness it and realize they’ve made the wrong choices.

He also said there was a two-week period during which everything was disrupted. Broadcasting was disrupted, for example. He didn’t see living people rise into the air, but if all the strong Christians involved in broadcasting, transportation, and so on vanished, a hiatus of chaos is exactly what you would expect to see.

He said he saw an old man who was evangelizing. This man had screwed up as a Christian, but he had repented after the horn blew, and he was helping others. Peters accepted real salvation, not a fake version endorsed by a blind church, and started following him. Side note: Peters is a real Christian today, and he pastors a church.

A new global government formed under a mesmerizing leader. Eventually, the government captured Peters, his wife, the evangelist, and various Christians. At first, they used gentle persuasion to push them to renounce Jesus. When Peters and his wife refused, they were fastened to a table and beheaded with a sword. They preached until the end. The man with the sword put it down and said he was done killing Christians. That happened at the end of the dream.

If you know the Bible at all, you know the Revelation mentions Christians who have been beheaded for their testimony. It’s not something Ken Peters invented. He said the sword looked like the swords on Shriners fezzes. In other words, a sword like those used by Muslims. He dreamed this in 1980, when Islam was not the huge threat that it is today.

As I understand it, in the Bible, the end of the current age works like this:

1. The rapture occurs. Serious Christians are taken, and the rest are left here.
2. Suffering and catastrophe increase in the world.
3. Salvation will still be available, but if you receive it, you will be killed unless you renounce it.

Of course, there are a lot of other details. But as far as avoiding hell goes, that’s the important stuff. My understanding is that it’s much better to get on board now than to be left behind and face increased persecution.

My own dream of the rapture was shorter, and it was symbolic, not literal. I was sitting in my grandparents’ living room, on the floor with my legs crossed. In front of me on the floor was a small dish of poisoned rat bait pellets. My mother was sitting in a recliner in the corner. She was wearing jeans. Work clothing. As far as I know, she never owned clothes like that as an adult. No one else was there.

Our family no longer owns the house, and my grandparents and my mother are dead. This is why I say the dream was not literal. I believe what happened to us in the dream is what will happen to people during the rapture, but obviously, my mother and I won’t be in that room on that day.

I heard a horn. The pitch was low but well within the range of human hearing. It made the entire earth vibrate. I knew with certainty that it could be heard everywhere in the world. I knew the horn itself was thousands of miles away. I felt it was behind me. Given my position, that would have been to the northwest.

I wasn’t afraid, but I felt completely sobered. I knew what was happening was as serious as anything could be.

Three things started to rise: me, the dish of rat bait, and my mother. We were buoyed up toward the ceiling, and we were on our way through it when I woke up.

I was glad the world, in its current state, was over. I felt a great sense of adventure. I felt relief. I also felt that it was an event of global moment, and that there would be astounding consequences for mankind.

Peters mentioned some strange things in his dream.

He said televisions would watch people for the government. In 1980, that was impossible, but it’s happening today. Some TV’s are connected directly to the web. Some have cameras, which is ridiculous.

My TV has an LED screen. Your TV probably uses LED’s too. An LED is a light-emitting diode. Run current through one, and it lights up. Interesting thing: an LED also senses light. You can use them to detect it. I’m not great with electronics, but even I know that it should be easy to make a camera using a grid of LED’s and a lens. For all I know, that’s what’s inside a smartphone camera.

One wonders what kind of visual information an LED TV could gather if it were programmed the right way.

Peters said the government kept track of the locations of all vehicles in his dream. Light posts had cameras mounted on them. We already have that. The government puts some of them out there where we can see them, making no effort to hide them. Other sensors have been put in place quietly, with no explanation.

I think the government knows where most vehicles are, all the time. There are too many sensors and cameras, and there aren’t that many roads. You can’t make your own road. Wherever you go, you have to drive by equipment installed by the government. I think that when a crime occurs and the cops really need to find someone, government nerds know where that person is, and they look for ways to get the info to the cops without letting the public know the capability exists.

He said the government would be able to find us whenever it wanted. That day is almost here, and the technology is focusing on us even when we’re just walking around. You can put a few cameras in a mall or stadium, connect them to computers with facial-recognition software, and make lists of the people who show up.

The government is too stupid and cruel to have this much information.

I don’t know if Peters is a flake or a prophet, but I thought people might want to know about him and read what he said.

I believe the end is right around the corner. Technology is destroying free will. When you can’t do anything without being discovered, you have no free will. Without free will, there is no sin, and there is no righteousness. We will live under coercion.

That’s not God’s style. He needs free will in order for his system to work. Free will is so important, he prefers putting people in hell and roasting them to taking free will away. He could fix is so we never sin, but he doesn’t. The concept of sin makes no sense without free will. Measuring the righteousness of people who can’t sin is like putting an altimeter in a car.

When free will is gone, there will be no reason for the world to go on existing, so the end will come quickly.

I don’t see how it could take even 10 years. I see that as an outside limit. That’s not prophecy. That’s just me, not being totally obtuse.

It would be nice if it were true (from my standpoint), because I don’t like aging. I am not in a hurry to get cataracts, wear diapers, and be unable to carry my own groceries. I like having teeth, too.

Leftists want to do away with free will. They want to be free to take drugs, indulge in obscenity, and have whatever kind of sex they like, but other than that, they are happy to plug into the Matrix and be told what to do. Strange people.

How can anyone trust the government that much? I don’t know a single human being I would trust as much as leftists trust the government. They trust the government far more than Christians trust God.

Do you ever think about how awful the future could be, when you watch sci-fi shows? Think about TNG.

In TNG, there is no money. Okay; how do you get things you want? Obviously, you must have to ask for it. So everyone in the future is a beggar. Mommy, can we buy this cereal? Mommy, can I have these LED shoes? Yeah, that would feel great, for an adult.

Whom do you ask? What if they say no? What if some crooked person persuades them to give stuff to them instead of you?

What if you want to buy a house? What if you want to travel to another galaxy?

Are you allowed to buy and sell? How can you do that without money? What if you want to Craigslist a couch? What if you want to teach piano and charge for it? Do you have to barter? Would you require students to bring you groceries instead of money?

In TNG, it’s very hard for people to hide. They have scanners to find you. If you work for Star Fleet, you have to wear a doodad that broadcasts your location and acts as a phone. What if you’re fed up and you need a few hours by yourself? Do you have to ask permission? What if they say no?

In TNG, they used to beam people up and down without permission. Know what the law calls that? “Kidnapping.” It’s a major felony. In Florida, if you try to kidnap me, I’m allowed to blow your brains out. It’s bad. Imagine living in a world where the government can reach out and suck you out of your beach chair and into jury duty, while simultaneously extracting a fine from “your” bank account.

Gene Roddenberry was a feckless atheist leftist, so naturally, he never thought about the unintended consequences of creating his utopian society. He should have read Orwell.

When I was in grad school trying to become a physicist, I knew a guy whose students called him “Fridge.” He was a very serious guy, but likeable. A little weird. He had no furniture. He said he did his copious homework standing up with his back against a wall, holding a clipboard.

Fridge left the Navy to study physics. He had to struggle to get out. Evidently, the Navy doesn’t have to let you go just because you ask. If you do a good job, like Fridge, they will reward you by holding onto you with a death grip. I asked him how he did it. He said, “I enforced the rules.”

He was in a position sort of like a quartermaster. When things had to be obtained or shipped, papers landed on his desk. Before he decided to leave the Navy, he would work to get things through. The rules were idiotic and restrictive, so he had to bend them all the time in order to make the system work. When the Navy refused to let him go, he stopped bending the rules. He observed them to the point of madness. “This has to be in blue ballpoint. Send it back.” “This has to be in triplicate, not duplicate. Send it back. It’s 5:01. My shift ended one minute ago. Talk to me on Monday.” You can imagine.

The system crashed. Things didn’t go where they were needed. Everyone hated him. They wanted his guts on a stick. He got his discharge. It’s a hilarious story.

It shows what will happen when free will disappears entirely. If we couldn’t break the rules, the world would jam up like a lawnmower with 5-minute epoxy in the engine.

I know another guy, an electrical engineer, who got out of the Navy by pretending to be an alcoholic. Now he’s a lawyer. He told the Bar what he did, and they let him in anyway.

Not relevant, but interesting.

I think things are drawing to a close. It makes me wonder what I should do. Should I still think about moving farther north? Is there any point in ever talking to a woman again, given that we could be raptured the day after I propose? Should I invest?

I’ll put those things in God’s hands, because I have no idea what to do.

I love it here, but I would like to have a year in Appalachia before the curtain falls.

Final thing: God told me something interesting today. When people give you things voluntarily, there are only two explanations. They’re being generous, or they want something from you. Disturbing.

I had a lot to think about when I got up, and now that I’ve written about all of it, it’s your problem. Enjoy the rest of the day.

Overstuffed Preachers Exceed Their Authority

Yesterday I found out I made an error managing one of my dad’s properties, and it’s going to cost some money. Not happy about that. I felt tense about it when I went to bed, and I woke up early in the morning and started praying.

I used to pray for God to make me feel better at times like that, but these days, I ask him to let me feel what I need to feel, and I ask him to change me so I don’t have these problems in the future. It’s better to be housetrained than to wear a diaper.

As wonderful as prayer is when you feel God’s presence, sometimes you feel like doing something else for a spell. I got out my phone and looked around to see if there was anything uplifting to read. I came up against a brick wall.

I looked at a couple of websites run by preachers. I used to find them comforting and illuminating. This time, I could tell there was nothing there for me. I felt like I was looking at the locked doors of unfriendly houses.

One site was Perry Stone’s. He has received a vast amount of knowledge from God, and he shares it all the time. It’s good stuff for any Christian to listen to. For example, he does an exceptional job, connecting the Old Testament and the New Testament. I’m underselling him here. You would have to watch his videos and read his books to understand.

I’ve benefited a lot from Perry Stone’s teaching, but I don’t pay much attention to him now. He has some blind spots. He teamed up with Steve Munsey, my favorite seedy prosperity preacher. Munsey teaches all sorts of garbage in order to get people to give him money. Seeing Perry Stone promote his filth was saddening, because it exposed a big hole in Stone’s discernment.

I took a look at Andrew Wommack’s site. He has a lot of insights that seem to come from God. On the other hand, he says you can’t be blessed financially unless you support the teaching of the gospel with your money. That simply isn’t true. It’s self-serving prosperity preaching, and it comes from a source that has nothing to do with God.

I gave up. I have realized there is nobody out there I want to listen to any more.

Is this a bad thing? Does it mean I’ve turned into one of those nutty Christians who refuse to go to church because they think they alone have all the answers? Not really. I do not have all the answers. My problem with preachers comes from the fact that I’ve gotten used to learning straight from God. When you graduate from something pretty good to something excellent, you don’t have much enthusiasm for what you left behind.

It’s not that I have all the answers. It’s that I’m tired of swallowing wrong answers provided by other people.

It’s a good thing. I know it’s good, because the Bible says so. John told us we did not need men to teach us. James said God would give us wisdom if we asked for it. Paul learned directly from God. He went off into the wilderness for several years. He didn’t go back to his rabbis. God does teach people.

It’s a good thing, but it serves to underscore the poor condition of modern Christianity. Most churches teach complete nonsense, and even good churches aren’t very good.

Christians love Christian celebrities. We look here and there, and we find preachers who seem to have it all together. Then we make the mistake of depending on them. We start quoting them to other people, as though adding “Benny Hinn says” to a sentence gives it divine authority. We put them on pedestals, and then when they make mistakes, those mistakes are propagated downward and laterally through us, sometimes to hundreds of millions of people. We don’t have enough Christians dealing directly with God, to fact-check the rock stars.

Look what Paul said:

For ye are yet carnal: for whereas there is among you envying, and strife, and divisions, are ye not carnal, and walk as men?

For while one saith, I am of Paul; and another, I am of Apollos; are ye not carnal?

Who then is Paul, and who is Apollos, but ministers by whom ye believed, even as the Lord gave to every man?

I have planted, Apollos watered; but God gave the increase.

So then neither is he that planteth any thing, neither he that watereth; but God that giveth the increase.

Now he that planteth and he that watereth are one: and every man shall receive his own reward according to his own labour.

For we are labourers together with God: ye are God’s husbandry, ye are God’s building.

According to the grace of God which is given unto me, as a wise masterbuilder, I have laid the foundation, and another buildeth thereon. But let every man take heed how he buildeth thereupon.

For other foundation can no man lay than that is laid, which is Jesus Christ.

Now if any man build upon this foundation gold, silver, precious stones, wood, hay, stubble;

Every man’s work shall be made manifest: for the day shall declare it, because it shall be revealed by fire; and the fire shall try every man’s work of what sort it is.

If any man’s work abide which he hath built thereupon, he shall receive a reward.

If any man’s work shall be burned, he shall suffer loss: but he himself shall be saved; yet so as by fire.

Know ye not that ye are the temple of God, and that the Spirit of God dwelleth in you?

If any man defile the temple of God, him shall God destroy; for the temple of God is holy, which temple ye are.

Let no man deceive himself. If any man among you seemeth to be wise in this world, let him become a fool, that he may be wise.

For the wisdom of this world is foolishness with God. For it is written, He taketh the wise in their own craftiness.

And again, The Lord knoweth the thoughts of the wise, that they are vain.

Therefore let no man glory in men. For all things are your’s;

Whether Paul, or Apollos, or Cephas, or the world, or life, or death, or things present, or things to come; all are your’s;

And ye are Christ’s; and Christ is God’s.

Satan uses celebrities like the Pope and Joyce Meyer as augers, to drill holes in people’s heads to pour hogwash through. If 10 million people listen to T.D. Jakes and believe him without reservation, in order to spread a toxic heresy, all Satan has to do is convince one man: Jakes himself. Celebrity is a big labor-saver for the devil.

You don’t have to be a big-time celebrity to be dangerous. It works with small groups, too. About 150 people attended my last church, and it was a bona fide cult.

It’s good to know God personally and to have no need of the rock stars, but I do miss learning from preachers.

I still benefit from hearing from other believers. I’ve watched dozens of testimonies this week. Testimonies and teaching are different. Testimony is more factual, and teaching contains more opinion and guesswork. Testimony tends to break down denominational errors of doctrine. It tends to unite people. I would rather hear from a random guy who met Jesus than a pinch-faced old rogue who has five degrees and scolds people for praying in tongues.

There is some nutty testimony out there, but I still prefer testimony to teaching.

I am going to make mistakes. Everyone but Jesus is going to make mistakes. Peter himself, who was supposedly the first infallible Pope, made mistakes and had to be corrected publicly by Paul. If you listen to me or anyone else too long, you are going to run into problems. You have to go to the horse’s mouth. I can tell a beginner a lot of useful things, but the proper function of a witness is to connect people with the perfect source. If you’re still following a preacher or even a friend five years after you started, that person has failed you. Teachers are supposed to be matchmakers, not husbands.

Nobody listens to God. Preachers think, “This is how I want things to be. Is that how they are, God? OF COURSE IT IS. Thanks. I’ll go tell everyone else.” This is how Creflo Dollar ended up believing he needed a jet.

Last night I spent a long time going over my numerous defects with God. It was like digging around in an abscess with a sharp stick. It was very unpleasant, but it was rewarding and important.

I know I’ll have more sessions like that. It’s a daunting prospect, but I have to be enthusiastic about it. A parent who loves you corrects you, and correction brings peace and power in the long run.

I don’t like thinking about what I am. I’m okay by earth standards, but earth standards are very low. Other people see the facade. I stand behind it, where I see what holds it up.

If I were still listening to preachers, I would be trying to apply remedies that actually make things worse. Denial tops the list. “God loves you as you are, so you don’t have to feel guilt. He sees you as perfect, so you don’t need to change.” What? Where does the Bible say that? Of course we have to change. We have to confess. God didn’t put us down here to fester and collapse.

Examining your faults isn’t counterproductive self-condemnation. It’s a diagnostic test, like an X-ray. Before a doctor heals, he examines. The idea that we shouldn’t feel shame or ask God to improve us is lethal. It’s like putting a used, pus-covered bandage on a carbuncle.

Equating self-examination with self-condemnation is immature. God’s purpose isn’t to cheer us up and tie balloon animals for us. He’s a healer, and one of the prices of healing is humility. Denial puts a protective wall around the projects Satan builds inside you, including tumors and God knows what else.

It’s funny; secular therapists understand the importance of honesty and catharsis, but charismatic Christians seem obsessed with covering things up.

As long as I’m here, I’ll mention a word God gave me today. It may not bowl you over. Here it is: “I believe.” My faith was being attacked, and I started repeating this. It turned out to have supernatural power.

I guess I’ll pray some more and check out more testimonies.

Put Down the World and Take a Break

I said I would write about the little phrases God gives me, and I got one today, so here I am.

I was watching a Marvel movie: Captain America: Civil War. Unlike the clumsy and intelligence-insulting Wonder Woman, this is actually a well-written, entertaining film. The idea is that the Avengers get in trouble for running around the world and getting into destructive battles that kill a lot of extras, so they do what no intelligent person would ever do: they agree to be overseen and commanded by an international body. Yeah, that’ll work. You want to replace 6 or 8 smart people with relatively good judgment (neglecting Tony Stark) and replace them with a bunch of idiots from Botswana and Pakistan. Good luck with that.

Anyway, superhero movies draw us because superheroes are false messiahs. Jesus was an extremely special person with extraordinary powers and a unique and vital mission. We don’t like Jesus all that much, so we create little carnal messiahs who have power and special status without the annoying, unglamorous humility and obedience.

Superheroes are proud and full of what my dad calls…okay, I will paraphrase…urine and vinegar. They are energetic people who feel great senses of purpose. They get all sorts of admiration because they’re special. We watch them and experience their strange, special lives vicariously.

People who are anointed by God can get superhero complexes. The word “messiah” means “anointed.” If God works through you, you may start to feel a little too special. You may not even want it. You may realize it’s ridiculous, wrong, and something to be embarrassed about. That doesn’t mean you can shake it.

Elijah appears to have had an issue with the superhero complex. He told God this:

I have been very jealous for the Lord God of hosts: because the children of Israel have forsaken thy covenant, thrown down thine altars, and slain thy prophets with the sword; and I, even I only, am left; and they seek my life, to take it away.

God responded as follows:

Yet I have left me seven thousand in Israel, all the knees which have not bowed unto Baal, and every mouth which hath not kissed him.

Depending on your mindset, you could take this as a rebuke if God said it to you, but to me, it would be a comfort. Nobody who has any understanding of the importance of humility wants to feel too special. It’s good to sit down and hand the ball off to someone else. It reminds you of your real place in the world. It shows you you’re not alone.

I was watching this movie full of fictional special people (played by professional pretenders running around in silly costumes), and I thought about the things God had been doing for me lately. I have had times of real supernatural joy because of the things God has been showing me about the power and deliverance that are coming to me. Sometimes I feel a little special; it’s a delusion. Today I heard a new phrase from God, and it came back to me during the movie: “One of many.”

It will probably be impossible for people to understand, but that made me feel great. IF God is doing big things in me, it doesn’t mean I have to carry a unique burden that sets me apart. I am one of many. I don’t have to be weighed down with pride, which is always heavy. If I’m just one of many, then I’m fine the way I am. I don’t have to carry too much. I have limited responsibility. I have all sorts of allies out there, working around the clock, each in his turn.

I can’t explain it any better than that.

I can relax and join the crowd of God’s children. I don’t have to be conspicuous.

The devil is “special,” and he hasn’t had a vacation in 6,000 years. He’s the father of all snowflakes. He picked up the crown. Now let him carry it in misery.

Every time I think, “one of many,” I feel like weight is falling off my shoulders.

We have a lot of preachers who feel “just a little bit superior,” as the Church Lady used to put it. The late Eddie Long let a nut named Ralph Messer wrap him in a Torah scroll, put him on a throne, and have him carried around while proclaiming him king. Denny Duron, the preacher I wrote about earlier this week, wrote a whole book saying the rest of us were just Abishais.

We should be content to be unrewarded redshirts, like the short-lived ensigns on old Star Trek episodes, while mighty, holy, rich characters like his lordship the messiah Duron and his exceedingly ordinary kids get the attention and cash.

It was clearly his attempt at excusing his money-centered, attention-centered ministry of foolishness.

Jewish sages are probably the most “special” people outside of Christian TV. You should see how young Orthodox Jews speak about them. So brilliant. So righteous. God should be grateful they’re willing to talk to him.

Isaiah said man’s righteousness is like used menstrual rags. He was right.

If you have problems fighting pride, remember this: “one of many.” It will make you feel much better.