Wherever the Body is, There the Vultures Will be Gathered Together

I wonder if other conservative bloggers are writing about Michelle Wolf.

I won’t check, because I don’t do blogs any more. I don’t read them or link to them. It’s not a rule. I just find the whole thing boring. They don’t link to me, either. I assume people lost all desire to be associated with me when I started writing about God. That’s what happened with my real-life friends, and it makes sense that bloggers would behave the same way.

That’s a good thing, though, because I don’t have much in common with political bloggers now. They would just exert a counterproductive pull on me. We’re not supposed to be unequally yoked with unbelievers (or backsliders), so it would be foolish to try to keep pre-repentance relationships at the same levels at which they originally functioned.

Michelle Wolf is a comedian. I never saw her before this weekend. She appears (or appeared) as a regular on The Daily Show, which may explain my lack of familiarity.

TV talk show comedians behave very bizarrely these days. They spend a huge amount of time savaging the President, conservatives, and Christians, with extremely serious intent. Uninformed people treat them like pundits and legitimate sources of information. Then when the comedians are held accountable, they say, “Why are you bothering me? I’m just a comedian!”

Pretty cowardly!

“Live by the sword, die by the sword, you hypocrites.” That’s the message I would send them.

Wolf appeared at the annual White House correspondents’ dinner. I’m not using capitals because I’m not sure if that’s the official name of the event. She generated a Youtube about 20 minutes long. She spoke for quite a while.

It’s not clear to me why she was chosen. Maybe Stephen Colbert and the other high-profile talk show comics weren’t available. Maybe they won’t take the gig because President Trump doesn’t show up.

In the past, presidents have attended the dinner. Republicans attended out of a strange sense of duty. Democrats attended in order to be worshiped; it was not a hard decision for them. Trump doesn’t go, and I support his decision 100%. I have never understood why favor-currying conservatives go to events where they stand no chance of being treated civilly. They show up at events like this, hoping to be admired for courage and fairness, and they end up looking like idiots, trying to seem like they’re not offended and laughing insincerely while being showered with abuse.

Ann Coulter made the inexplicable decision to attend a celebrity roast. I think the victim was Rob Lowe. Maybe it was Chevy Chase. Anyway, you can guess what happened. The tormented souls who spoke at the show spent a huge percentage of the time ignoring the guest of honor and spewing bile at Coulter. Then many of them refused to laugh at her jokes, trying to make her look like a flop. Then our unbiased, fact-driven news industry completed the assassination by asserting that she did, in fact, bomb.

After the event, Coulter complained about the mean spirit of the event. What? It was a roast, not a prayer vigil. Forty years ago, roasts were good-natured productions during which people who seemed to like the guests of honor said mildly provocative things about them. That’s not how it works now. A modern roast generally consists of a stream of gutter comics with floundering careers, heaping vile abuse on celebrities they don’t care about and sometimes hate.

I knew roasts were disgusting. Somehow Ann Coulter was surprised. And TV is a huge part of her job!

It doesn’t pay to spend excessive time in the company of people who want to destroy you. That is common sense. It’s true that refusing to appear at the correspondents’ dinner could be expected to make journalists angry. Is that something Trump needs to worry about? It’s like Netanyahu worrying that Mahmoud Abbas will be angry if he doesn’t send him a card on Ramadan. They already hate Trump. They can’t hate him any more than they already do, and they are already doing their best to ruin his life.

Bush II worked way too hard to appease the left (probably because he’s a bit of a leftist in his personal life) and it always made him look foolish.

I just Googled to see who has appeared in the past, and the dinner doesn’t seem to attract big-time comics. It appears they never get a big name. Not lately, anyway. Since 2015, they’ve had three minor Comedy Central figures (“minor Comedy Central figures” seems redundant) and one lesser SNL alumna.

Now that Trump doesn’t go, one would expect the dinner to be even less attractive. When an adversary shows up at an event the President snubs, it makes him or her look like a jilted ex-girlfriend, sitting alone at a restaurant with a photo of the oblivious man who moved on to greener pastures. Only Clint Eastwood can make that work.

I’ll bet agents and managers advise bigger comedians not to go.

That would certainly explain how Wolf ended up in front of the cameras.

Here’s the big story: Wolf’s act was revolting. I watched a little. It was gross. It was annoying to watch, but I also felt embarrassed for her. Her material, much of which was weak as comedy, was obscene.

Every man has known an otherwise-attractive girl who repelled people with trashy or sexually explicit talk. A lot of young women try to ingratiate themselves with young men by trying to duplicate their locker room talk, and they sometimes do it so clumsily and excessively, it drives men away. Men laugh about them behind their backs. Women like that come across as needy and mentally unstable. That’s the feeling you will get if you watch Michelle Wolf. She shot for Ricky Gervais and hit Andy Dick.

There are some women no self-respecting man are willing to escort, simply because of the potential for embarrassment.

The journalists supported her. They laughed and played along. Why? Because they are hard, cynical people, and Michelle Wolf’s degrading performance is a taste of the America they hope to create. In their vision for America, this is how the correspondents’ dinner should be. Decency is something they don’t understand, although they mimic a sense of decency whenever they talk about a conservative’s sexual sins.

When you look at Wolf’s monologue, you are looking through a time portal. This is how people will speak at all sorts of public events in the near future, and our journalists will find it “refreshing” and “honest.”

Where did America go? It’s gone. Remember the place where you could sit through a TV show with your grandmother and not hear slang terms for genitalia? Remember when it was illegal to appear nude on the sidewalk in Times Square? America has never been a truly clean and moral country, but there used to be a lot of lines we didn’t cross. Not any more. Now a young woman with a college education can be paid to speak like a common whore at a televised function full of people who should be dignitaries.

That’s how things are in April of 2018, and things will never be this good again. They will continue to worsen.

God keeps showing me things about the culture I’ve absorbed and made part of myself. I’m partly responsible for Michelle Wolf. I worked hard to cultivate a dark sense of humor and to disseminate its fruit. I strove to say the vilest things I could imagine, especially in private. I even said these things to myself inwardly when I was alone and there was no one around to impress. You become what you imitate.

I listened to vile music created and played by vile, degraded people. I watched, approvingly, the filthiest comedians. I packed garbage and rot into myself as hard as I could. I even wanted to become part of the excrement distribution apparatus. I sent applications and material to TV shows. I made some disturbing podcasts. I wrote books with regrettable language in them. Thank God no one who was capable of promoting me successfully noticed my abilities. I could have ended up like Andrew Dice Clay or Kathy Griffin, poisoned by self-worship and the illusion of success. I would never have stopped. I would have propelled myself to greater depths.

It’s terrible when people succeed at things that destroy them. Elvis fell off a toilet and died exposed on the bathroom floor, obese, tormented, and full of drugs. Michael Jackson withered away and became increasingly eccentric and perverted until he had to be drugged in order to rest, and then he died in disgrace. Bill Cosby was given a free pass by the liberal press for decades while he had his way with sedated women and destroyed their lives, and now he may very well die in prison. Kurt Cobain, Jimi Hendrix, Liberace, Hunter Thompson, Chris Farley, John Belushi, Howard Hughes…the devil’s talented proteges often don’t end well.

I used to feel like I had come a long way in the kingdom of God, but these days I feel like I’ve barely started. I’m still full of worldly ideas and desires. The contamination of the world occurs in layers, and I’ve only scraped off a few. The better I get, the more I see how bad I am!

When God shows me the evil in myself, I am better able to see the evil around me, and I become more disconcerted by the condition of the world. Things are much worse than we realize. Jesus wasn’t kidding; Satan truly is the god of this world, and he is now the god of America, not just places like India and Sudan. Decency appalls us. We are ashamed of it. We think evil is cute. We sponsor it just as hard as we can. Look how any people watch the Kardashians and listen to rap. America made Lena Dunham rich. If that doesn’t make you want to throw up, what will?

This morning in prayer, I kept thinking how I missed heaven, even though I had never been there. I want to be in a place of love and peace. America is immersed in an unending storm of cruelty and arrogance. The winds never die down. I am sick of it. But I earned my place here. At the moment, I can’t say I belong anywhere else.

What crass horrors will we witness before the next correspondents’ dinner? You have to wonder. The preceding year was worse than the one before, and that one was worse than the one that preceded it. All sorts of debased spectacles are hidden in the wings, waiting to be pushed onstage.

How can we fix this nation for God when we already think we’re doing great? How can you treat a disease if you think pus and scabs are healthy flesh? I’ve been praying and asking for correction for a long time, and I’m still a mess, so I wonder what hope there is for people who want absolutely nothing to do with God.

I don’t think better times are coming. The supernatural balance of power has moved too far in the direction of evil. A positive feedback loop has been set up, and we are reinforcing our faults too strongly to be expected to recover.

All I can tell you is that you should look out for yourself and the people you can reach. Some Christians say those who believe the age is coming to an end accuse feel-good, optimistic Christians of rearranging chairs on the Titanic. I suppose we do. To extend the metaphor, it seems to me that our own job is to hand out life preservers. The ship is definitely going down, and most people will sink with it, but there are still a lot of individuals who can be saved.

I don’t know if I should go live in a hole or what. The cultural gangrene is closing up over our heads.

Your Cousin’s Fraudulent DNA Test May Be Your Downfall

I always say the end of free will is near. The government and the tech industry are destroying privacy, and privacy is essential to the exercise of free will. If someone is always looking over your shoulder, and you know it, there will be many things you simply can’t do.

God created the world to be a place where people could get away with evil, at least in the short run, because freedom to do evil is essential to free will. Man is making it harder and harder for us to do evil and for us to do things that are not evil yet for which we would be punished anyway.

Here’s a great example of the things mankind is doing to destroy free will. DNA-testing companies are giving customers’ information to the cops, so if your dad took a test for fun, and you’re a burglar who left a cigarette butt at a crime scene, the law may get your dad’s information and use it to locate you.

It sounds like I’m standing up for burglary, but I chose that example out of a hat. The DNA trap could get you if you do something good, which the government doesn’t want you to do.

The fundamental premise of leftism is a perverted reflection of the fundamental premise of Christianity. We believe everything God does is good. They believe everything the government does is good. I exaggerate; they’re against certain governmental actions. But they trust the government to take care of us, and they think privacy is outmoded. They think we should all belong to a communal organism and share information with each other like cells in a body. They say things like, “If you have nothing to hide, you shouldn’t mind.”

That’s the sort of thing the Nazis used to say when they searched homes. The fact that you can’t make them understand the fascist nature of their stance shows how deluded they are and how little they know about history.

Leftists don’t like privacy, and leftists are more powerful than the rest of us, so privacy is going to vanish whether we like it or not.

The amazing thing about the DNA story is that you don’t have to be involved in order to get nailed. Related people share lots of DNA. The government doesn’t need your DNA to find you. They just need a relative’s DNA. When they find the relative, they look at his family, and you’re done.

It’s a lot like Google Contacts. Even if you don’t give them your phone number, someone else will. They’ll put your name in their list. Then Google has it, even if your number is unlisted.

My dad has a Facebook account. I looked at it, and Facebook was suggesting he “friend” a tenant. Why did Facebook think he wanted to do that? I figured it out. Facebook has his email address. It has her email address. It knows they have corresponded. It thinks they might be friends. Maybe the cops will call my dad if she knocks over a liquor store.

It’s a wonder any crime goes unsolved these days, with all the information the cops can access. They can get the DNA stuff. They can get cell records to tell them where you’ve been. There are toll records that keep track of your car’s location. There are mysterious, unlabeled sensors beside our major highways. There are cameras on many traffic lights. Lots of private businesses have cameras that face out. I’m not sure why cops ever leave the office.

I believe the feds are letting criminals go in order to conceal their data-mining power. I believe the feds and possibly state cops locate many criminals very quickly, using illegally obtained data, and then they refrain from apprehending them until they can concoct alternate explanations for their successful manhunts.

Often they’re open about using new data sources to capture people, but I’m sure there are many cases in which they kept things under wraps because their methods were too outrageous for public consumption. There are probably many cases in which they chose not to pursue criminals because there was no plausible way to explain how they were caught.

It’s human nature. Human nature is like gravity. You can’t fight it. It always prevails in the end. Hospital employees stole George Clooney’s medical records for fun. Someone leaked part of Donald Trump’s tax return. Put people in charge of sensitive information, and some of them will abuse the power.

A sad sidelight on the story: DNA tests are garbage. You send them your dried spit, and they tell you you’re half Italian and half Polish. Then you send the same spit to another company, and suddenly you’re Irish. The tests give the same DNA different results, so when your little cousin does one as part of a history project, she does nothing of value for herself, and she puts the rest of the family in a giant database the government doesn’t have to pay to build or maintain.

The tests are worthless for telling you where your ancestors came from, but they’re great for telling the cops who your relatives are.

A friend of mine was arrested because he drove a car with no registration. It was dark. Traffic was light. He wasn’t doing anything to attract attention. A cop caught him anyway. Why? The cop had a scanner that looked for tags the system had flagged. Think you’re safe because the little decal in the corner of your tag is too small for cops to pay attention to? Think again. Machinery is doing their work for them.

My friend wanted to move the car 20 miles so he could work on it at home and get it licensed. He couldn’t afford a tow truck. He only intended to drive the car illegally once, when traffic was light. He ended up with big legal troubles. He didn’t know he was under surveillance every time he got on the road.

I wonder where I’d be if the government had caught me every time I did something illegal. I’d be in solitary for the rest of my life as a repeat offender. Speeding: 20000 offenses. Parking illegally: 1000 offenses. Blowing up a dead chicken in a public place as a prank: 1 offense. Various littering charges. Putting questionable materials in dumpsters. Crimes involving fireworks. Picking my feet in Poughkeepsie. I’d never see the light of day again.

In the future, everyone will have to be perfect, all the time. That will be interesting.

There’s nothing we can do about it, but I suppose it’s good to be informed.

Wonder What Ward Cleaver was Hiding

The world has gone completely nuts. Bruce Jenner is a woman, and Bill Cosby is a convicted rapist.

He was not convicted of “rape.” The language of the law is not the same as the language of everyday life. Cosby was convicted of “indecent aggravated assault.” According to the relevant Pennsylvania statute, this means he penetrated someone who didn’t consent or who didn’t have the ability to consent (unconscious, underage, etcetera).

It appears Pennsylvania doesn’t have a statutory crime called “rape,” and that “indecent aggravated assault” is the term they use. I’m not a criminal lawyer, so I don’t know all that much about criminal offense nomenclature. I know someone who is accused of raping a child, and the charge in his case is “lewd and lascivious molestation.” I don’t know if any jurisdiction has a crime called “rape.”

Anyway, “rapist” is the correct term, based on the Pennsylvania statute. Penetration without consent is rape.

Journalists all over the US are now relieved that they don’t have to type the word “alleged” over and over when discussing Cosby. They can just say “rape,” “raped,” and “rapist.” Cosby can’t sue them for defamation. Not that he would. He didn’t sue obscure comedian Hannibal Buress when he started the snowball rolling by saying Cosby was a rapist.

Remember that? It’s interesting to consider it, because it reveals the true cause of the Cosby prosecutions. Rape wasn’t the problem. He had gotten away with rape, and he was enjoying a peaceful old age, to be followed by a quiet death and a huge public funeral full of weeping and praise. The problem was that Bill Cosby criticized young black people for behaving badly. He said young black men needed to pull their pants up. That’s what set Buress off, and Buress got people Googling. Then the public turned on Cosby, and up popped Gloria Allred and the rest.

Here’s what Buress said:

“Pull your pants up, black people, I was on TV in the ’80s. I can talk down to you because I had a successful sitcom.”

Yeah, but you raped women, Bill Cosby. So, brings you down a couple notches.

Oddly, Cosby’s problems weren’t the start of the #MeToo movement. Buress called him out in 2014, and #MeToo started in 2017, with Harvey Weinstein. Somehow a billionaire or near-billionaire entertainer got called out for something many, many people in his business were doing, and everyone else kept on groping and molesting. There was no groundswell of accusation or repentance.

If Bill Cosby had joined Occupy Wall Street and Black Lives Matter, and if he had spent his weekends raging at white people through a bullhorn, would he be a convicted felon right now? No. I’m sure of it. People knew he abused women, and they weren’t upset enough to do anything about it. Almost no one cared until he ran off from the victimhood-establishment plantation.

Cosby was safe until he turned on people who assumed that, as a black man, he was a true victimhood believer. He broke with the left on an issue, so he got pummeled. That’s normal. Somehow Weinstein got nailed while he was still out there bloviating about gun control and every other ill-conceived leftist notion imaginable. That’s not as normal. And Weinstein was even more powerful than Cosby, so you would think he would be harder to take down.

Maybe the attacks on Cosby softened the targets that succeeded him.

I had no idea Cosby had done bad things when I heard about Hannibal Buress. I didn’t know Andrea Constand had sued him in 2005, even though the news had been on the web. The big-time press must have ignored it, just as they’ve ignored Al Sharpton’s defamation, his incitement of rioting, his refusal to pay his just debts, and his tax evasion.

Buress isn’t happy that he became the face of the Cosby posse. I don’t know what he expected, since he made the accusations in more than one appearance. I suppose he must have had some very lonely times since the avalanche started. A lot of black people will support any successful black person who is accused of a crime, and they will not be kind to whistleblowers. I know a lot of black people, and they tend to defend such individuals and try to prove white criminals get much better treatment.

Some black people complain because Dylann Roof was arrested peacefully while a number of black criminals have been killed during apprehension. They fail to take note of the fact that Roof surrendered without any resistance. That makes a difference.

It doesn’t ALWAYS make a difference. A very violent black criminal named Markeith Loyd was arrested while crawling to the cops on his belly, and one kicked him in the face and crushed his eye. A chopper was shooting video, and the camera operator zoomed way out and moved off of Loyd as soon as the beating started.

Anyway, there have probably been a lot of parties Buress wasn’t invited to.

It’s very sad to see someone Cosby’s age, who was formerly respected and admired, go out like this. He’s going to appeal, but he’ll probably lose, and he is still open to all sorts of civil litigation. His status as a proven rapist will make those cases easier to lose.

Remember how we used to see him? I didn’t enjoy his show because when I watched it, I felt I was being beaten with a PC strap (“Black people can be rich and intelligent! Moms are smarter than dads! Kids are smarter than dads! New York is a great place to live! New Yorkers know more than everyone else!”), but generally, Americans loved him and thought highly of him. In retrospect, he looks very different, and it’s disturbing that he chose to play a gynecologist.

It’s amazing how short-sighted and evil we can be when the Holy Spirit isn’t guiding us. Cosby is an intelligent, talented man, yet he established a lifelong pattern of a type of abuse which is not only cruel and prurient, but cowardly. It is extremely disgraceful. He was also extremely reckless. You can’t do what he did, over and over, and not expect repercussions. I can’t believe he made his bad decisions on his own. He has to have spirits egging him on. No functional human being is that crazy without help.

I’ve done things I can barely believe I did. I know what it’s like to do something so stupid you look back on it and can’t understand what was going through your own mind.

Weinstein is probably next. He has a trail of accusers, and the cops are actively preparing at least one case.

Shear Coincidence

Something weird happened in the wee hours of yesterday morning. I had a strange dream, followed by a strange event.

I always have strange dreams. Last night I dreamed I was acting in a film about an Italian family. I think I was playing an older male. Possibly an uncle. I don’t remember the details of the film, but I know it was your typical Hollywood non-Mafia Italian tripe. All the family members were eccentric and frantic. They talked with their hands and couldn’t shut up. It was a little like Moonstruck.

In the film, I was about 70, and I looked nothing like myself.

Night before last, I dreamed I had a cyst on my back, and it was a whopper. Imagine half a golf ball shoved under your skin. In the dream, I was lying in bed when I discovered the cyst. I reached behind myself and felt it. I started grabbing it and wrestling with it. I think I tried to squeeze the contents out. The cyst came loose from my body but stayed under my skin, and I pushed it down my side until it disappeared somewhere low in my abdominal cavity. I was concerned that it would come back, because it was still in me somewhere.

The strange part follows. After I woke up, I happened to touch my neck, and I couldn’t find a little cyst that had been with me since the age of 16. I wasn’t thinking about the dream. I didn’t remember the dream until I touched my neck. When I felt my neck, I thought God had healed me.

Then later on, I found the cyst again. It was very small, but it was there.

Does the dream have meaning? I do not know, but it’s strange that the thing with my neck happened the same day.

Coincidentally (or not), while I was looking at Christian material on Youtube later in the day, I saw that Tom Fischer had a video in which he healed someone of a cyst. A young woman had a cyst on her back. He said something peculiar: problems in the area of the back are often associated with worry about money.

I assume he must know something, because he has been traveling the world healing people free of charge for something like 8 years.

I do worry about money. I hate worry, and I fight it supernaturally and get free of it for long periods, but it comes back. I’ve been put in charge of everything my dad has, and I was already in charge of what I had. If there is ever a financial problem, it’s on me.

There is absolutely no reason to worry, because we have more than we need (and when you know God, there is never a reason to worry), but right now we have some real estate I want to get rid of, and that means cash is tied up and unavailable. In order to avoid lending my dad money or going into assets I want to leave alone, I have to watch his expenditures closely. Or maybe I don’t have to, but I do it anyway. I don’t want a giant unexpected bill to force me to break cash loose.

Are my groundless financial worries the reason I’ve had several cysts on my back? Search me. Interesting, though.

In other news, God showed me some more things. I will bore you with a digression about the way law works.

When a lawyer takes a case, he looks at laws, and he also looks at old cases in which judges have made decisions. Those decisions are like new laws. If a judge decides a law against littering means you can’t grow turnips in Nebraska, then that’s what it means, and lawyers are free to cite this rule to other judges to make them do what the lawyers want. The preexisting rulings are called “precedent.”

Often, a lawyer will have to create what a professor of mine called “an articulated rule” made up by combining various laws and bits of precedent. Let’s say one case says you can’t grow turnips in Nebraska, and another case says dairy cattle improved with turnip DNA are actually turnips. A lawyer whose client doesn’t want someone raising turnip-gene cattle in Nebraska will put the rules together.

God provides rules and principles that can be combined, just like terrestrial laws. Example: “He who finds a wife finds a good thing,” plus, “they that seek the Lord will not want any good thing,” means God will provide wives to men who seek the Lord. Presumably. If the Hebrew is consistent.

Actually, it is consistent. The word translated as “good thing” is the same in both cases.

Years ago, God told me this: “Authority comes from time spent in the presence of the Lord.” This is one of the reasons I try to pray in tongues as much as I can. When you pray in tongues, God prays through you, so you are always in his presence.

Yesterday, God told me this: “All peace comes from authority.”

I can’t believe I didn’t know that. It’s very obvious once you consider it.

Think about criminals. They live outside of authority. They may appear tough and intimidating, but they are afraid of everyone around them. If you’re a criminal, everyone you associate with is a potential witness. Each of them has his hand on the flush handle and can send you down the drain at will. Now think about law-abiding people. Generally, they have little to fear. A law-abiding person can insult the police and throw them off his property. Who has more peace? Obviously, it’s the law-abider.

The Bible says, “A little that a righteous man hath is better than the riches of many wicked.”

If you have authority behind you, you have someone more powerful than yourself, protecting and supplying you. You can’t fail unless the system you represent fails.

This reminds me of the story of David and Goliath. I recall a preacher saying words to the effect that David thought Goliath was doomed because he didn’t have God behind him. The Bible backs that up.

If you look at the story in 1 Samuel 17, you will see that David, a skinny kid with no training or armor, looks down on Goliath. He says, “For who is this uncircumcised Philistine, that he should defy the armies of the living God?” He thought Goliath was a loser and an idiot.

When he says Goliath is uncircumcised, he means he has no authority from God. Circumcision was the sign of a contract between God and Abraham. It obligated God to help Abraham’s seed. Goliath didn’t have that, so he was on his own. Goliath looked big, but in reality, David was the giant.

When David approached Goliath, Goliath cursed him in the names of his false gods, trying to give himself authority and support. David said he was going to kill him so people would know there was a God in Israel. He was going to kill him to demonstrate that Israel, not the Philistines, had real authority.

David was anointed. Samuel had poured oil on him and anointed him king. Anointing equals authority. An anointed person has God’s full support.

If you have God’s full support and you know it, you should automatically have peace.

If you pray in tongues and do whatever else you should do in order to spend ample time in God’s presence, you should have authority and, therefore, peace, regardless of how things look. As I said recently, God told me this: “It doesn’t matter.” He meant that my circumstances weren’t important; no matter how bad things looked, prayer in tongues would fix everything.

I need to redouble my efforts. Every time I fail in my obligation to pray enough, I get tense, and things don’t go as well as they should. It’s as though I’m spraying weed killer and pesticide when I pray in tongues. When I quit, the bugs march in, and the weeds grow.

To switch topics, I got some more understanding about correction. I am very concerned about my character. Take a look at this passage from the Revelation:

But the fearful, and unbelieving, and the abominable, and murderers, and whoremongers, and sorcerers, and idolaters, and all liars, shall have their part in the lake which burneth with fire and brimstone: which is the second death.

I don’t want to endanger my salvation. I know I have some doors that need to be shut. I can’t look at the above list and say I’m in the clear, so I’m keeping it in mind and praying about it. Apart from the salvation issue, I just don’t like what I am. It’s like living in a dirty house. I want relief.

I saw something comforting in Matthew. I was thinking about Christians who aren’t going to make it, and I remembered a certain passage, so I tried to look it up. Here it is.

Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven.

Many will say to me in that day, Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in thy name? and in thy name have cast out devils? and in thy name done many wonderful works?

And then will I profess unto them, I never knew you: depart from me, ye that work iniquity.

Because I’m a bad Bible scholar, I didn’t find this passage at first. I came across this:

Therefore be ye also ready: for in such an hour as ye think not the Son of man cometh.

Who then is a faithful and wise servant, whom his lord hath made ruler over his household, to give them meat in due season?

Blessed is that servant, whom his lord when he cometh shall find so doing.

Verily I say unto you, That he shall make him ruler over all his goods.

But and if that evil servant shall say in his heart, My lord delayeth his coming;

And shall begin to smite his fellowservants, and to eat and drink with the drunken;

The lord of that servant shall come in a day when he looketh not for him, and in an hour that he is not aware of,

And shall cut him asunder, and appoint him his portion with the hypocrites: there shall be weeping and gnashing of teeth.

That’s an interesting passage. It’s as if it were written with TV and megachurch preachers in mind, not to mention the popes. The world is full of clergymen who exalt themselves and treat people like fatted calves, and one day they will all have to account for themselves.

Look at the part about meat. That’s what made me feel better. The Lord will be pleased with those he finds giving his household meat.

What does meat symbolize in the Bible? Strong teaching. If you go to a megachurch, you get what the Bible calls “milk.” They tell you how to get saved, and then they go off on irrelevant tangents about money and positive thinking. They’re like people who adopt babies and give them milk for a while and then starve them instead of moving them on to meat.

Jesus said hard times would come before his return, and he said, “And woe unto them that are with child, and to them that give suck in those days!” He didn’t just mean parents. He was referring to churches full of adult babies who have never been fed meat.

You need to eat meat in order to know how to fight Satan and his children, and if you follow Joel Osteen and T.D. Jakes, you wouldn’t know meat if you saw 30 tons of it in a packing plant. When the end comes, strong Christians will be praying, blessing, and cursing, with power. They’ll be receiving help and correction. The megachurch babies will be reciting feel-good mantras and donating even more money to churches, hoping they can buy God’s assistance.

Jesus said he would tell such people, “I never knew you.” That makes sense, because he was talking about people who don’t spend time in his presence.

I was comforted by what he said about meat, because whatever my failings may be, I am trying to provide meat to people, free of charge. I am trying to tell them things, based on my experience as a witness, that will get them past the foolishness and helplessness of the feel-good, Mammon-worship crowd. Maybe that will count for something when I have to answer for what I’ve said and done.

Final thing, and this is another swerve: I got a revelation about wool.

The Bible calls us sheep, and we should be looking at what it says about sheep to understand ourselves. The Bible also calls hair “glory.”

For a long time, I’ve had the notion that hair symbolizes the things that grow out of a person who is close to God. When you pray in tongues, it’s as though hair grows on you. Samson was not allowed to cut off his hair. When he did, God’s glory and presence left, and so did Samson’s protection and strength. When Jesus appeared in his transfigured form, his hair was like pure white wool.

I was thinking about that today, and I wondered: what happens when you don’t shear a sheep?

I looked it up, and I found the answer. A sheep in Australia dodged the shearers for several years. He was finally caught, and when they sheared him, he lost 89 pounds. Domestic sheep don’t shed their wool.

That interested me, because I think glory is something you have to give to God. When you walk with God, you can’t help having glory rub off on you, but it’s toxic in large amounts. It causes pride. Look what it did to Satan.

Absalom, the son of David, had a similar problem. He was close to David, and he became very proud, even though he wasn’t anointed. He tried to take David’s throne.

The psalms say a blessed man’s children will speak with the enemy in the gate. Absalom sat in the city gate and intercepted people who were friendly to David. They went to Israel to have David serve as a judge in their disputes. Absalom told them David hadn’t deputized anyone to hear their cases. He turned them against David by saying that as king, he would make sure people got justice.

He also slept with David’s wives and publicized it.

Absalom’s hair grew like crazy, and he only had it cut once a year. He was apparently very proud of it. When he was sheared, his hair weighed about 5 pounds.

When Absalom became a fugitive, he died because he got caught in an oak tree as he rode under it. His head, with all that hair, got stuck in it. Oaks are said to represent righteous men.

What happened to him is a little like the story of the ram that appeared when Abraham was excused from sacrificing Isaac. It got its horns (symbols of power) caught in a bush.

God showed me that pride has weight. Whenever you decide you can handle things on your own, and that you deserve credit, you’re picking up a weight. Credit comes with obligation. If you made something happen, you’re expected to keep it working. The more things you credit yourself for, the more weight you have to carry, and the less God does things for you.

A sheep that isn’t shorn is like a person who gathers glory to himself instead of giving it to God periodically. He ends up trying to carry a load he can’t deal with. All real success comes from God’s favor, not from our silly talents or our ridiculous hard work. Think about the story of Jacob and the striped sticks by the watering troughs.

The TV guys and the priests and popes with the $500 hats have a glory accumulation. It’s a problem. God didn’t intend for us to have ranks. He wanted every one of us to be a general, and he wanted us to give him all the credit for our deeds, so we would not be poisoned and weighted down by pride.

One more tidbit: sheep that aren’t sheared become wool-blind. Wool grows over their eyes. The world is full of Christians who can’t see past their own glory.

It’s wonderful how all of these things make sense when God explains them to you.

Your Existence is Offensive

Today during breakfast I watched a Youtube video about a woman who said she was experiencing demonic activity in her house. The manifestations she described weren’t subtle. It wasn’t the usual, “I have a bad feeling when I’m in this room.” She said she saw orbs of light in her house, and she presented a photograph. She said she saw a demon scurry into her child’s room.

The video got me thinking about my dad, who suffers from dementia. I did a little Googling to see if caregivers and doctors had stories about demonic activity in dementia patients. I figured the stories had to be out there, because medical people see supernatural events all the time.

I didn’t find any of the material I was looking for. Instead I came across a lot of links belittling people who believe in spirits. I should have expected that. Satan controls the minds of cruel people who abuse believers, and he loves using them to humiliate believers and shut them out of society.

I used to participate in a caregiver forum. I quit because the people were obnoxious to me. I didn’t push Christianity on them. They got angry at me over other things and kept accusing me and trying to put me on the defensive. This is something that happens to believers. People whose eyes are still closed attack us and drive us off, and sometimes it’s because we should never have gone near them to begin with. When you turn to God with serious intentions, your friends WILL start to disappear.

Today while I was Googling, a link to that forum came up, and I looked at it.

Some poor woman was caring for her mother. Her mother started talking in a voice the woman described as “demonic.” She said things in a language the caregiver could not understand, and then she said, “Who was that?” The caregiver asked the forum members if a demon could be involved.

An angry, unbelieving lady with some sort of position of authority piped up and “corrected” this woman, assuring her that Alzheimer’s was purely physical. Another character piled on. There was criticism of caregivers who believed in the supernatural, and the term “elder abuse” was invoked. The idea is that if you believe in demons, as Jesus and the apostles did, it is abusive to permit you to care for a demented parent. I think this notion will gain great power soon. I believe the state will eventually start taking demented parents, disabled relatives, and adopted or foster kids away from people like me.

One has to wonder how the system will function without us. Many, many nurses, technicians, and nursing assistants are Christians, and their prayers and presence help make the system run.

It’s remarkable how life has changed in the last quarter-century. Hatred of Jesus and Christians has become very overt. Our human adversaries (the puppets of Satan) used to show restraint. They were a little afraid of us, as they should have been. Our numbers were greater than they are now, and we were less ashamed of the God we believed in. These days the picture is different. Homosexuals are allowed to marry, and support for homosexual marriage has grounded a tsunami of antichrist activism.

Liberals love to talk about tolerance; this is what unpopular people do when they’re in the minority. Islamist Muslims do it as official policy. Now leftist are on top, so they openly work to rid the world of us. Right now they’re only working to rid the world of our beliefs, but eventually, as the Bible predicts, they will resort to execution. Oddly, they will be filling heaven at their own expense.

Murder is a strange and misunderstood concept. I think religious Jews understand it better than we do. Gentiles think murder means physically killing other people without legal grounds. Jews believe destroying a person’s reputation with words is murder, too.

In the latter sense, religious Jews have worked to murder Jesus, among their own people, for a long time. Many call him “Yeshu,” which is not his name. His name is Yehoshua, and the short form is Yeshua (Joshua, in English). “Yeshu” is a Hebrew acronym which means, “May his name and memory be blotted out.” It’s a curse, and presumably it is spoken and written with the hope that it will take effect.

Some Jews claim Jesus was the reincarnation of Eisav (Esau), who was an evil man who opposed Israel (Jacob). They support this using kabbalah. If you rearrange the consonants in “Yeshu” (not his name), and you add another consonant, you get a word that could be pronounced “Eisav.” Seems like a stretch, but there it is.

If you rearrange the consonants in my name, and you add a consonant, and you change the vowels, you can get “Love Satan.”

Religious Jews seem to understand that if you want to destroy a person whose influence is evil, it’s not enough to kill his body. You have to make people forget his ideas and, if possible, his existence.

Murder is a supernatural idea. It comes from the supernatural realm. The earth is the site of a supernatural, genocidal war. On one side, there are the children of light. On the other, there are the children of darkness, also known as the children of Satan. The children of darkness are always working to rid the earth of the children of light and their ideas.

God has destroyed the children of darkness directly in the past. He sent the flood to get rid of them, and he also killed the firstborn of Egypt. He killed the people of Sodom and Gomorrah. He told the Jews to kill every single Amalekite. He had Haman killed, and to show that genocide was on his mind, he had Haman’s 10 sons killed along with him, so Haman’s seed died. The Jews believe that when you kill a man, you kill the nation he would have sired, and this principle is demonstrated by God’s response to the murder of Abel. God said Abel’s “bloods,” not “blood,” cried out to him from the ground. He was referring to Abel’s descendants.

We serve a genocidal God. That sounds bad, but the race he is destroying is poisonous and without hope. It’s too dangerous to be allowed to survive, so he created hell and the lake of fire to contain it. Also, you can choose not to belong to this race at any time. You can always accept salvation and serve God, so you shouldn’t complain when you end up where you sent yourself.

Heaven is the perfect example of successful genocide. While the children of light spend eternity in a purified world, the children of darkness and the supernatural beings they serve will be imprisoned far away where they can’t be seen or heard, and it will be as though their very spirits no longer existed.

The Nazis were children of darkness. They built death camps which were parodies of God’s temple, and instead of sacrificing animals, they sacrificed Jews and their other enemies. Their genocidal impulses came from the spirit of Antichrist. The Jews are precious to God, and they have an important place in prophecy, so the Nazis and their father, Satan, tried to get rid of them. He also wanted to get rid of their memory. This is why he had the Nazis burn their synagogues and remove their tombstones.

If the Nazis had succeeded, the existence of the Jews would have been covered up over time, just as the physical evidence of the 2 million people who walked with Moses in the desert has been concealed. Satan had the Nazis burn Jews in order to destroy even their bones. He didn’t want future generations asking who the bones belonged to. No wonder. Look what Elishah’s bones did; they raised a man from the dead. And God used a field of dry bones to symbolize his dormant servants who would one day be brought to life and filled with power.

We see the same thing happening today in America, except Christians are the main victims. We are being driven out of commerce and public discourse. Merely saying Caitlyn Jenner or one of his fellow female-impersonator puppets is a man can get you fired from a job. Saying same-sex marriage is wrong can put you in bankruptcy court with no hope of resuming your career.

Sex offenders are sometimes offered chemical castration. This means they keep their genitals, but they are filled with drugs that are supposed to emasculate them psychologically and take away their lust. What’s happening to Christians is a lot like that. We are often permitted to participate in society on the condition that we cease behaving like Christians. We have to stop proselytizing, testifying, and even mentioning our faith. It’s a kind of living execution, and if it goes far enough, it becomes eternal execution. If you let yourself be pushed far enough by the spirit of Antichrist, you can lose your salvation. So mass murder, or at least coerced spiritual suicide, is already here, in a spiritual sense. The children of darkness are making us hollow ourselves out so nothing alive remains inside us.

All over the world, Christians are being murdered, physically. Muslims systematically hunt them down and execute them. Often, they are offered the alternative of spiritual suicide. If they repent and join Satan’s Islam cult, they may be allowed to live. But to be allowed to live in apostasy is to die forever, because repenting of Christianity brings damnation and eternal agony in the company of damned spirits.

One day, they will start murdering us in America, and they will offer us the living-suicide alternative.

In a way, Christians have more hope than Jews. Anti-Semitic genocide will resume, too, but unlike Christians, Jews won’t be able to save themselves. At least I don’t think so. Christianity is merely a choice. Jewish identity is physical; it’s genetic. You can renounce Jesus, but you can’t stop being a descendant of Abraham. Many Christians will save themselves from execution by accepting damnation, but Jews probably won’t have that option, except for a few who serve the enemy. There will always be kapos, until Satan decides he doesn’t need them.

The Nuremberg Laws were soft genocide. “We’re not killing you; we’re just purifying our professions.” “We’re not killing you; we’re just firing you from teaching positions in order to protect the youth.” “We’re not putting you out of business; we’re just putting signs up so people will know they’re buying from Jews.” The persecution we see now in America works the same way. “We’re not forcing you to recant; we’re just preventing you from offending other people by mentioning your faith at work.” “We’re not starving you; we’re just taking this particular career away from you.” “We’re not censoring you; we’re just refusing to let you use our social media platform.”

They’re painting the floor, and they always tell us there’s still a place where we can stand, but that place is getting smaller and smaller, and one day they’ll paint it, too.

The children of darkness are very bold about destroying Christians now, but they’re still afraid of Jews. Jews are generally leftist atheists, and during the last century or so, they have taken the suicidal position that the state is their messiah and protector. Something like 90% of American Jews vote Democrat in our national elections, even though liberals are their enemies and conservatives are their only friends.

It looks bad for the left to attack Jews directly, because leftists love to tell us Hitler was conservative and all Christians and conservatives are Nazis. Leftists are fairly gentle with Jews right now, but they’ve found a safe surrogate target: the political nation of Israel. They’re also going after “bankers,” which is code for “Jews.” While they wait until it’s safe to go after Jews directly, they will do their best to devour the Jewish nation, like the red dragon in the book of the Revelation.

Leftists are amazing. They support every conceivable type of sin and perversion, and they attack God openly over and over, yet their support for Muslims is as solid as granite. In Muslim nations, homosexuals are imprisoned and executed, women are treated like livestock, and theocracy is the primary goal and the whole point of earthly existence, but American leftists are doing their best to help Muslim nations destroy Israel.

Why are they comfortable with this level of cognitive dissonance? Because they are under the control of spirits that hate God.

Everyone is influenced by spirits. Some Christians are led primarily by the Holy Spirit. Most people, including most Christians, are led primarily by spirits that oppose God. Spirits can distort reality and pervert reason with ease; after all, they cause mental illness, including psychosis. This is why it’s so hard to evangelize. People who don’t believe in God are irrational, and the irrationality is supernatural. Reason didn’t create it, and reason can’t tear it down.

My dad has never known God, so he has been controlled by foreign spirits all his life. He has done astoundingly counterproductive things, without regret or self-examination. If demons have corrupted his ability to think, it’s no surprise. Only God preserves mental health.

It’s terrible to realize there are millions of people in America who are in the same boat, and that if our nation had good spiritual health, we could heal them without drugs. It’s worse to realize human beings who mean well hate the very notion of supernatural deliverance. It’s sad to see people persecuting the only individuals who offer real hope.

Don’t Cooperate With Squatters

Since Passover, more or less, I’ve been having strong sensations during prayer. I am fighting spirits I gave control to over the years. I keep speaking defeat to them and casting them out.

When spirits attach to you, they may set up shop in the area of your abdomen. I don’t know why it works this way, but it’s true. If you’ve ever felt an agitated hostile spirit move in you, you may have felt nausea and tension in your solar plexus. People commonly report this. These things have been happening to me during prayer.

Things are relatively normal before I start praying. Then as I speak to these things and cast them out, I feel the nausea and tension. It’s obvious; there is nothing subtle about it. I don’t bring it on myself, either. It appears without my help.

Another strange thing happens during these sessions. I hear gurgling sounds in me, and I feel things letting go. I believe I have problems with spirits constricting and blocking things inside me.

I noticed this years ago, when I was in college. I thought it was a purely natural thing. I would feel pressure building up inside me, on my left side under my lower ribs in the front. It made me tense because it was uncomfortable. It affected my emotions.

Then it would release, and I would hear noises. This happened over and over, every day. Now when I pray and fight the spirits, the constriction in this area opens up, and my insides make loud noises as the gas or whatever is released.

I think the constriction is in my intestines. My understanding is that the small intestine loops up under the ribs on the left. I’ve also felt pressure in what I think is my pancreas, also on the left, and of course I am very familiar with pressure and other sensations in my gallbladder and bile duct. I’ve had gallbladder issues, and I’ve learned what sensations involving my gallbladder mean. I know when a stone is moving out into the bile duct, and I know when there is pressure in the gallbladder itself.

I’m a healthy person, but I fight with little issues, and God showed me a lot of them involve blockages. The gallbladder is an obvious example. Stones and sludge block the flow of bile. I’ve also had problems with snoring and nighttime congestion, as if Satan were trying to cut off my air and suffocate me. I had a floater in one eye, right in the area where I focus, and it partially blocked my sight. I’ve had sebaceous cysts, which are caused by blocked follicles. I’ve had kidney stones, which are hard objects that block the flow of urine.

I believe illnesses often reflect our supernatural problems. If the heart is right, it’s harder for the enemy to afflict you. When your heart is wrong, the enemy can go before God, accuse you, and get permission to attack.

Psalm 127 says a man’s children are like arrows in a quiver, and they speak with the enemy in the gate. The body is like a house with a walled yard. It’s full of gates: eyes, ears, the mouth, and so on. If something is blocked against your will, someone else must be controlling a gate.

These days I’m fighting spirits of murder, antichrist, and church-worship. I’m trying to find out what else I have to fight and what I have to change in order to stop giving spirits the legal right to work in me.

I know claims like these sound crazy to unbelievers and Christians who, themselves, are influenced by antichrist spirits. Look at the Bible, though. Jesus fought demons all the time. If you’re a Christian, you have to believe in Satan and demons. If not, you think you know more than Jesus, and you’re worshiping a person you look down on. That’s not just error; it’s pride and rebellion. The Bible says God fights the proud and helps the humble.

An antichrist spirit will make you uncomfortable when you hear the name “Jesus” or any mention of demons. It may make you want to ridicule anyone who speaks of these things.

I’ve seen spirits, and I believe Jesus, so I’m not going to worry about whether people think I’m nuts. I think they’re nuts! I think they’re blind and deluded. I think they’re in denial. I think they live in complete defeat, with no free will and no hope of victory or peace.

I can’t let myself be contaminated with their antichrist mindset just so I can have the worthless, fleeting approval and admiration of slaves and the lost. When I do that, I’m the tail and not the head. I’m abdicating my responsibility to lead.

You have to lead on this earth. You have to lead other people, and you have to lead evil spirits. You’re on top or you’re on the bottom. You’re not neutral. That option doesn’t exist.

What I’m going through is like pregnancy. I feel like I’m getting ready to permanently expel foreign things that live inside me. I’m always reminded of the breakfast table scene in Alien. John Hurt’s character thought he was doing fine, and then he felt something moving around in him. His coworkers held him down on a table, and the thing inside him started pressing against his chest wall from inside. Then it burst out, killing him and going on to cause mischief for other people.

I feel like I’m in labor, only the things that will come out of me won’t be good.

When a filthy spirit leaves you, it feels wonderful. It’s draining, like finding out a painful lawsuit is over. You get the feeling you can finally rest.

Mainstream Christians should be casting spirits out and speaking defeat to them all day. We should be examining ourselves to find the behaviors and attitudes that give them the ability to hold onto us. Because we don’t do this, we are sick, weak, worried, and afraid, and people and spirits run roughshod over us. We are double agents, so we get limited help from the regime we should be loyal to.

It’s a very interesting process to go through. I’m very grateful for it. In the past, I had no knowledge and no help, so deliverance was impossible. Mainstream churches taught me that we should try to be good in our own strength, and it was assumed that God would do almost nothing to help us. It’s very nice to come out of ignorance and find help. It’s good to have a father who makes me stronger than bullies and too smart to listen to liars and swindlers. I couldn’t get victory on my own.

There are no Stars in Hell

God’s training program continues to unfold. Usually, it’s pleasant. Sometimes it’s not. It’s always profitable.

The two big themes right now seem to be correction (nothing new) and relief from demonic activity.

I ask God for a lot of good things, and a lot of them are things I expect to sting. I don’t think too much about the prospect of my own suffering when I pray. It will come soon enough whether I think about it or not, and it doesn’t matter anyway, because when you need something, you have to get it, whether or not it hurts. You wouldn’t reject an important operation because the doctor said you would have pain afterward.

For a long time, I’ve been asking God to help me accept criticism and admit fault. I don’t want to live on a high horse. I need all sorts of correction, and if I can’t bite the bullet and accept it, it won’t take effect. If I reject a correction, God will either give me something worse or give up, and I would like to avoid both of those things.

I have learned to try not to get on the high horse to start with, and that’s not so hard. What’s hard is admitting it when I get knocked off.

It’s somewhat difficult for me to perceive what’s wrong with me, but changing myself once I’m aware is even harder. In reality, it’s not possible. I can make little adjustments in myself, like an astronaut using retro rockets to make minor course corrections, but that’s about it. I created strongholds of bad behavior and attitudes in myself with the help of powerful spirits. Only another spirit can set me free.

Demons love pride. It’s their armor. They sit in you behind their armor, listening to arrows of correction as they bounce off. That’s bad, and now we have a problem that makes it worse. For the first time in Christian history, we have a culture that teaches us that pride is a virtue. We are taught to strive to be proud. Even as recently as 1960, we knew better. What happened to us? Was it the Sixties? We started celebrating pride, not realizing we were sealing demons inside us and helping them bring friends in.

Not long ago, I said something very ugly and unnecessary, and it hurt someone. Afterward, I was oblivious, as though I hadn’t done anything wrong. I can’t explain it. I had a supernatural blind spot. The victim was kind enough to let me know what I had done, and when I got that information, I was amazed. It was as though I were hearing about something someone else had done. I had done something I hate doing.

I felt very bad. I couldn’t eat. I ended up taking generic Imodium and Zantac so I could face lunch.

I was forgiven, but I don’t know if things will ever be quite the same. If not, I can’t complain. I don’t have anyone else to point the finger at. The best I can do is to keep working at it in prayer.

I’ve learned a few things as God has worked with me. I’ve learned that I can have an inquity I hate. To pull an example out of a hat, it’s possible for a person who hates drug addiction to be addicted and to have a demon infestation related to it. I’ve also learned I can have iniquities I don’t even know about.

The other day God told me something very surprising. He said I had a spirit of “church-worship.” That was not something I foresaw. As I understand it, he was talking about a spirit that wants me to worship pastors instead of God and put the success of churches above the success of the Holy Spirit.

I have no desire to have a position in a church or get heavily involved. I don’t want to sit and be taught doctrine any more. I would like to go just to be among Christians, but I don’t expect to learn much, and you would have to hold a gun on me to get me to accept a title. I have a desire to see megachurches dry up and vanish, and I long for a time in which people are so aligned with God they don’t need to build organizations and buy buildings. I feel a little sick when I see a church named after a human being, like “Andrew Wommack Ministries.” I don’t feel like a church-worship person. But I know what God said.

Maybe it’s something that lies dormant until it’s awakened.

I knew someone whose father was a Muslim. Presumably, there weren’t a lot of drinkers in the father’s line, because Muslims are not supposed to touch liquor. This individual drank a great deal, habitually. It was startling to watch this person put it away, night after night. I used to wonder if there was a dormant alcoholism curse in their family. With no alcohol around to expose it, an alcoholism curse might never manifest. I wonder if the church-worship spirit is like that.

I have fallen into church-worship in the past. I supported people who should never have been able to fool any intelligent person. A long time ago, I actually supported Robert Tilton, which is about as low as you can go.

I thought church-worship wasn’t a problem any more, but maybe it’s still there, hoping to jump out and take over.

This isn’t the first time God has surprised me like this. He told me I had a spirit of murder and a spirit of antichrist. I would never have figured those things out on my own. He was talking about things I truly hated. I didn’t think they could get me to cooperate, but now I know that I did. Murder manifested in rotten things I said and thought. The spirit of antichrist manifested in embarrassment I felt over being associated with “holy rollers.” Even when I overcame and ignored these things, they were still there.

I don’t know everything, but I know what spirits do inside me. They make my interior like hell. They make it a place of anger, fear, filth, and torment. When I listen to them, I let filth in. I think about people in a way which is like holding them captive in my mind and torturing them. I listen to spirits of fear, and I worry. I know I’m supposed to be like heaven in my heart. I’m supposed to be a place of love and peace. A temple.

This morning I was thinking about this, and I thought about the stories I’ve heard about hell. People who say they’ve seen it often say the individuals there had a burning desire to tell people on earth not to follow them.

That made me think about myself. I put a lot of nasty things in myself. I made myself like a little portable hell.

I have often thought my job was to help people become like me. By that I mean I thought I was supposed to help people get baptized with the Holy Spirit and hear from God and be corrected and repaired. In view of the hell analogy, I am forced to think that my actual job is to help people avoid becoming like me.

I screwed up very badly when I was in my twenties. God gave me the key to a successful life, and I discarded it. I didn’t maintain a prayer habit. I let all sorts of spirits in to rule me. I turned my inner world into a little hell. I should be helping younger people avoid that.

I know younger people who have serious problems, and some of them listen to me and look up to me. Sometimes I remind them that their lives should be better than mine. I tell them they’re doing much better than I was at their ages, and that when they’re as old as I am, they will be much better off than I am.

I have wondered what their future perceptions of me would be. Decades from now, when they look back and understand how badly I performed as a Christian, will they wish they had never known me? Will they feel contempt for me?

It doesn’t really matter. Other people’s esteem doesn’t put food on my table, and the objective isn’t to make people admire me. It’s to get them connected with God. Directly.

I no longer watch network TV, and I spend very little time watching reality TV. I watch old movies when I need empty distraction. Sometimes I look stars up to learn about them. Hedy Lamarr invented something that is supposedly the basis of wifi. Jimmy Stewart was an Air Force general. I remember little things like this, so I go to the Internet to find out more.

Lately Errol Flynn has been featured prominently on Turner Classic Movies. I didn’t really know who he was. While I was watching him, I thought about rumors I had heard. Some people think he collaborated with the Nazis. I looked him up.

Man, was I surprised. The Nazi business seems shaky, but I learned a lot of other things. He was vile. He had as much sex as humanly possible. He owned and lived in a hotel in Jamaica, and he used to get penicillin injections before his frequent visits to the local brothels because he thought it gave him 6 hours of immunity to syphilis. He drank constantly. He was tried for statutory rape. He had one-way mirrors and peepholes installed in his house so he could watch guests. He couldn’t serve in world War Two because he had VD and other health problems related to debauchery. He used opium and cocaine. He used to expose himself. He would sit down to dinner naked with his own mother.

Shortly before he died at the age of 50, he wrote an autobiography called, My Wicked, Wicked Ways. He was proud of himself. The book was so filthy, it had to be edited for the public.

His evil nature surprised me, but I was even more impressed by the contrast between his onscreen persona and the man behind it. In movies, he’s charming. He’s self-deprecating. He’s decent and unselfish. He makes you think he has to be somewhat like that in real life. No such luck!

I learned that the movie My Favorite Year is about him. Mel Brooks worked for Sid Caesar in the Fifties, and Flynn appeared on his show. Brooks had to babysit Flynn to make sure he showed up and did his job. The Peter O’Toole character in the movie is based on Flynn.

In the movie, the Brooks character shows O’Toole that deep in his dissipated heart, he really is the noble character he played. It’s a moment of redemption. In real life, nothing like that happened. Flynn was never redeemed. He dropped dead from a heart attack, happy in his sins, and the coroner found him so diseased and atrophied he compared him to an octogenarian.

It makes me think about the contrast between what I am and what I want people to think I am.

Last night I was watching some movie or other with the birds, and TCM showed the faces of a bunch of stars, zipping by the screen. TCM was celebrating them like Greeks lionizing the false gods of the pantheon. I thought about Flynn, and I thought about the other people I was seeing, many of whom were no better. I knew most of them were in hell.

People who go to hell don’t disappear. Everyone who has gone to hell is still there, suffering more than we can imagine. They’re all conscious right now.

It seemed like a cruel joke. These people were in hell, crying in agony, wishing they could tell people not to imitate them, and here Satan was, using images of their happy faces to make people admire them and want to be like them. Think how you would feel, in hell with maggots eating your bones, looking up and seeing naive human beings staring at your image and wanting to pattern themselves after you.

The world is very perverse. It’s full of deception and traps, and it’s a huge mistake to take it at face value and get caught up in the whirlpool.

Trusting human beings too much is very dangerous.

All of this knowledge is good. It tastes harsh, but the effect is worth it.

I hope you won’t make too much of bad examples. There is only one true way, and he ascended 2000 years ago.

Helpful Stuff Straight From the Source

I said I was going to pass on things God said to me, so here I am with new material.

The first one came on March 25, and I already wrote it here as part of a blog post: “Men are supposed to be stable and level-headed.” God’s plan for couples is for men to lead and women to cooperate and support. Women are less stable than men. A woman is a different person every week. Men are pretty much the same every day, and we are supposed to function as anchors.

Men from sick matriarchal cultures tend to be emotional and unreliable. Men from matriarchal cultures can’t be relied on, so the women have babies out of wedlock and turn the government into their husband.

A husband should be led by God. Compared to a man, God is more stable. God leads and steadies the man, and the man leads and steadies the wife. This is the pipe through which blessings are supposed to flow.

Women should marry up, spiritually. Women want men who are smarter and more reliable than they are. If a woman marries the wrong man, she may end up raising him along with the other kids. She may end up in a stronghold from which she can never escape.

A man should not be a burden to a woman. He should pull his own weight, especially with God. He should be able to have a conversation on her intellectual level. Women get tired of being around kids all day. I assume a woman doesn’t want to have another kid walk through the door in the evening. They must look forward to a different kind of interaction.

Most people don’t know God, and they choose spouses very badly. Only God knows which shoe fits. When you marry the wrong person, you are yoked in a very real sense. Oxen can’t get out of a yoke, and marriage and kids are hard to get away from. I’ve seen people struggle with carnal spouses. It’s not good at all. I wouldn’t wish it on anyone.

Having kids out of wedlock is damaging whether the mother marries or not. If she marries, she may get a man who will always be a drain. If she doesn’t, she will have kids with no male around to keep them in line and make sure they treat her well. The boys may rebel, or they may become effeminate and weak.

I know God will work with people who admit fault, to bring about the best possible outcomes. But they have to repent. You can’t stay in an ungodly relationship, doing what got you into trouble the first time around, and expect much. Not if you know better. That’s not repentance.

The next thing I wrote down is, “Thank you for wanting to know me.” People who want to avoid spiritual responsibility like to say we are all God’s children, but the Bible says otherwise. Most people never know God until they die, are never transformed by him, and end up in hell. Jesus said he chooses people. We think we choose him, but that’s not the whole picture. I’m glad God saw fit to select me and work on me.

Months ago, I heard this: “My father and mother abandoned me.” I need a replacement, and no new parents are available except for God. Only he can undo the effects of a bad upbringing and turn me into something useful.

Next thing: “I defiled myself, and I knew better.” Can’t argue with that. God told me about prayer in tongues, and I turned away and sinned about as much as possible. I let every available demon move in and vandalize me. I’m glad I didn’t compound my misfortune by marrying an atheist or a Catholic santera or some other contrary woman who would have been harder to get rid of than demons. You can cast a demon out, but women don’t leave that easily.

The next two things God told me are nearly identical. About 10 days ago, God gave me this: “I am God’s temple.” Today he gave me, “I am the temple of the Lord.” I must not have been listening the first time.

This morning I was thinking about the things I have put inside myself over the years. If I really thought of myself as a temple, I wouldn’t have brought evil things in. Dirty movies, black humor, pornography and willful thoughts about sex, cruelty, covetousness, drunkenness, prolonged anger…who would bring things like this into a church? Yet I brought them into myself.

We are tempted all the time. Satan puts little seeds in front of us and tries to get them to take them inside and water them. I have a new, heartfelt understanding of the need to burn them in the doorway while he watches.

The Bible says the children of a righteous man speak with the enemy at the gate, not in the living room.

We don’t get healed. Our enemies walk all over us and laugh. We experience debt and poverty. We have bad marriages or no marriages at all. We experience sterility. We fail in our careers in spite of tithing and praying. We stay addicted. We stay fat. We remain trapped in cities where Christians don’t belong. We can’t get our problems fixed. Then we complain to God, as if he owed us. Meanwhile, we are filling his temples with sewage. We sign contracts with demons, giving them power over us, and then we want God to break the leases.

Our society is extremely sick. We are blind. The things we consider normal and acceptable are poisonous and outrageous. There are Christians who support Caitlyn Jenner and get angry at people who say he’s a man. There are Christians who cut up and tattoo their bodies, thinking they do it for Jesus. There are Christians who fornicate every day and still go to church; many are pastors and volunteers.

Still we wonder why God doesn’t help us.

In the Bible, God talks about making Baal’s temple into an outhouse. Of course he does. We make ourselves into the enemy’s temples, and we let the enemy fill us with excrement and garbage. There is always symmetry in the supernatural.

God turned Molech’s place of worship into Jerusalem’s city dump, and it’s where Judas hanged himself.

You don’t have to earn God’s help, but you do have to stop spitting in his face every day.

Mary Kay Baxter claims she visited hell. She said she saw demons that were embedded in the walls with only their upper parts free. I thought of that today. We have demons we can’t cast out. Maybe they can’t get out because they’re embedded in us. We give them the right to stay. Maybe we’re so good at embedding them, they can’t leave even if they want to.

We make our hearts like the interior of hell, so there must be a lot of unexpected similarities.

When we finally understand what Christianity is supposed to be, we are going to be very surprised, because we are extremely deceived right now. The life of a righteous person in 2018 is probably worse than the life of a prostitute was in 1700.

I hope these things are useful to you. I will update you from time to time.

Pitch In

My friend Alonzo texted from Orlando today. His wife Teri is in the hospital for tests, and she may need surgery. I don’t have details. He asked for prayer.

My former church let the head deacon down when he had breast cancer. They thought faith was all that mattered. They didn’t tell him he needed to confront the iniquities that gave demons the right to harm him, so he never repented, and he died.

I am speaking defeat to the spirits that work in Teri to make her ill and to cause iniquities that give illness protection. I am asking God to heal her and help her repent of anything that is in his way. I am asking him to send others to pray and guide and bring healing. I would appreciate it if people would join in. Thanks.

Plus New Repentance

I did not go to church today. Maybe it will eventually happen. I watched a few Tom Fischer videos.

This morning I woke up while it was dark, and I felt tense. I have been pretty relaxed lately, so I knew something was up. I started praying, and I felt God was telling me to think about pride and hypocrisy. I had a long prayer session about these things. I examined areas in which I demanded more from other people than I did from myself (hypocrisy), and I considered the difficulty of being honest with God about it (pride).

God didn’t decide to help me because I was a wonderful person. He did it because he was full of love and willing to forgive and work with a person who was headed for hell, and I am still less than wonderful I have to keep that in mind when I deal with other people.

I saw that Fischer had a video about hypocrisy and self-righteousness, and I watched it. Then I decided to watch his latest videos. He has been visiting Florida, and I wondered if he might include Marion County in his itinerary.

A few days back, he uploaded a video from West Palm Beach. I decided to watch. There were several other Christians ministering with him. I noticed that one of them looked like someone I knew.

It WAS someone I knew.

Fischer was out on the street evangelizing with my friend Dave.

Dave used to go to my Saturday prayer group, which was led by the overseer of all the volunteers from Trinity Church. Dave wasn’t a Trinity guy. As I recall, his wife had serious reservations about Trinity. He attended the prayer group anyway.

He brought a friend named Stu. Stu’s wife was Jewish, and she was an atheist. Jewish religious authorities say you can’t be a Jewish Christian, but you can be a Jewish atheist, Satanist, Muslim, or Buddhist. Go figure. You can probably be a Jewish Jehovah’s Witness, since they don’t worship Jesus. I don’t know.

Stu’s wife would not let him have a Bible. I’m not clear on how a wife can prevent a man from having a Bible, but some marriages are like that. He took foil and used it to make a book cover so she would’t know what he was reading.

She took him to a Jewish psychiatrist who was also an atheist. She believed Christianity was a mental illness, and the psychiatrist agreed to treat him for it.

There are a lot of people trying to get laws passed, prohibiting doctors from trying to get people delivered from homosexuality, but it’s legal to try to cure Christianity.

I haven’t seen Dave or Stu in quite some time. I sent Dave a text today because I realized he did not have my new number.

I can’t tell you how strange this is. How many Christians are there in South Florida? Hundreds of thousands, probably, omitting the backsliders. How many do I know? Maybe two hundred? How likely is it that one who was in my cell contacts would pop up in a Youtube video I chose to watch?

Dave is an interesting guy. To say he’s enthusiastic is an understatement. The prayer group met at a Denny’s in Broward County, and we used to talk in the parking lot after it was over. Christians do that. You will see the serious ones standing in the parking lot after church for half an hour.

One thing I learned about Dave was that if he started talking to me, I had to move into the shade quickly. I burn easily, and Dave is not a person who has short conversations about God.

Dave wasn’t a preacher. He was an elevator repairman. I can’t even guess how he hooked up with Tom Fischer. It’s not like he’s a prominent healing evangelist any traveling preacher would expect to meet. He’s obscure.

It’s neat when God does things like this.

Another man appeared in the video, and it’s not totally clear, but it looks like God told him Tom’s wife’s name. Judge for yourself.

Regarding my own inner issues, I have to keep digging. I was such a mess by the time I turned back to God, there was a huge backlog of deferred maintenance. It’s good to have God continue to expose stuff to me.

I don’t know what will happen next with Tom Fischer. Maybe I’ll run into him at Tractor Supply.

Rail Installed

I’m sitting here doing my gun thing.

My Picatinny rail arrived, and I stuck it on the new rifle. I attached the night scope to it. It looks fine, but the eye relief is a bit excessive. I expect to have to lean forward a bit to shoot. It’s not good to have tension anywhere in your body when you shoot, but I believe this is the best I’ll be able to do without some kind of custom rail or adaptor.

The word “Picatinny” is capitalized. A place called the Picatinny Arsenal was important to its adoption. The arsenal is in New Jersey. Things could be worse. It could have been the Piscataway rail. New Jersey place names are awful. They sound like diseases that make you vomit.

I’ve been thinking about my long-range options. I can’t believe how lucky blessed I am to have this property. I should be able to shoot 400 yards with no problems at all. I could go longer if I had another berm.

“But why not go to a range? You live in gun country. There must be long-distance ranges all around you.”

No.

This is why I count myself even more blessed than I used to.

I assumed there would be all sorts of shooting options up here, because northern Florida is about as red as Wyoming. I have discovered that this is not the case. I can only find three outdoor ranges in this county, and they’re pretty sad. The options in Miami are actually better.

One is a private club that only goes to 100 yards, and it has 150-member cap. There’s a waiting list. You can’t join until someone dies.

Which probably happens a lot. I think I have the only car in the county without a handicapped permit and a mobility scooter rack.

I might have to wait as long as a week.

There’s another private club which has lanes up to 50 yards long. That’s all you get. What good is that? I’ve seen people shoot pistols that far.

The final option is the public range operated by the Florida Fish and Wildlife Commission. “Operated” is a very loose way of describing it. It’s unsupervised.

How would you like to go to an unsupervised gun range? No range officers. No one using a P.A. system to tell people the line is hot. No one to shout at idiots walking around with their rifles pointed at other visitors. You just get out of your pickup and start blasting. Presumably, there is no prohibition on drinking beer.

Cherry on the sundae: the limit is 100 yards.

I’ll resummarize my own situation: 400 yards. Berm. No other shooters. Handguns allowed. Rifles allowed. Hours unrestricted.

It’s phenomenal.

Someone recommended I try a Project Appleseed event. I know little about Project Appleseed, but it’s an organization that claims to teach marksmanship. I get the feeling there is some paranoia associated with it. I don’t mean my healthy Christian paranoia, which contemplates the necessity of shooting hordes of entitlement junkies who will one day descend on rural America but does not contemplate shooting federal agents. When I read up on Project Appleseed, a little voice in the back of my head whispers “Ruby Ridge.” But even if they’re extreme, they are probably people I can get along with, and they might be able to help me shoot better.

I read that they teach history at the events and talk about taking back America.

There will be an event less than 40 miles from here this month. I might give it a shot. It’s hard to get away from my dad for a two-day event that involves a hotel stay, but if it’s less than an hour away, I should be able to make the commute from my house and return here at night.

I’m very glad God put me on an unusual property where I can shoot pretty freely. When I’m even farther in the sticks, on a larger property with some hills, I’ll be unrestrained. I’ll shoot a howitzer if I want.

Maybe tomorrow I’ll finally try the .204 Ruger. Should be a blast. Then eventually I’ll get to work on the .308 and a 6.5 Swedish.

I Don’t Need a Nightlight

For years, I had a problem with my pillows lighting up at night. I would roll over or whatever, and little green spots would light up all over the pillow. It was the craziest thing.

I found I could reproduce the lights by crumpling and slapping the pillows.

Thought they were some kind of static electricity, but in my experience, static electricity moves quickly when you discharge it. You get a brief spark and then nothing. The green lights were usually quick, but I remember seeing one dissipate slowly over maybe half a second.

I used to wonder about it. Was it some kind of electrical thing I didn’t understand, or was it some sort of Holy Spirit residue, from praying with my head on the pillows?

Here in my new home, I am still having the problem. I rolled over in bed the other day, and my hand brushed against the contoured sheet. As my fingertips dragged over it, little light trails followed them. They were bright bluish white. They were maybe half an inch long.

You really notice things like that in the middle of the night in a dark room.

Some day I want an explanation for this. When you’ve had experiences you know were supernatural, it’s easy to give up on natural explanations and attribute paranormal causes to things that are really just physical. No one wants to be the guy who saw a goose fly past his window and told people it was the Holy Spirit.

When I think about this, I always think about Ed Harris as John Glenn in The Right Stuff, hollering, “Get out of here, you gadgets!” at a bunch of sparks coming off of his capsule.

Are You Sure You’re Sure?

It’s remarkable how many things I “believe” but don’t really believe.

Of course, I am contradicting myself on a superficial level, but receptive people already understand, without my having to explain. Which I will.

Consider the times I prayed to be healed and then received miraculous healing. While I was praying and commanding my body to be healed, I believed God would heal me. Had I not, I wouldn’t have prayed, right? But I didn’t believe completely, in every corner of my heart. When the healings came, there was still some surprise.

People are fuzzy thinkers and fuzzy believers. When we reason, we aren’t afraid to discard things that appear to be facts, when they conflict with other evidence, our desires, our emotions, and our intuition. Surprisingly, fuzzy logic often leads to the better conclusions than non-fuzzy logic. When it comes to faith, we can hold a mixture of belief and unbelief.

It can be frustrating to deal with folks who think the human mind takes a binary approach to thought and feeling. The world is full of individuals who can’t tolerate the notion that a person can think or feel two ways about something at the same time. It should be very obvious that human beings have internal conflicts, but many of us look at the mind and heart the way engineers look at toasters, and they draw simplistic, half-baked conclusions about the way we work, the way children do.

I guess I started this blog entry with a digression, but I don’t care.

Today I looked at Youtube over breakfast. I wanted to watch some Christian material. I chose Tom Fischer; I’ve been watching a lot of other people, and today I felt like it was his turn.

I saw a video labeled “Street teaching with Tom Fischer-evil spirits” [sic], and I was drawn to it. I have been the site of an internal battle lately, between evil spirits on one side and the Holy Spirit and me on the other. From watching Fischer’s other videos, I knew he was likely to have something important and USEFUL to say.

About 97% of the time, preachers tell us things that are useLESS or counterproductive. Actually, useless and counterproductive are synonyms when it comes to religion. Neutrality doesn’t exist.

I am only interested in teaching I can put to work. Keep the fables, traditions, and feel-good stories to yourself. If powerful material is meat and less powerful material is milk, the slop most preachers serve is colored water and valium.

A few years back, God showed me interesting things about evil spirits. He showed me that demons are actually dead human beings. You can see it in the book of Enoch, and there is also evidence in Genesis. Rebellious angels married women and reproduced with them, and they gave rise to a race of vile beings that were stronger than ordinary humans. At least some were giants. They abused and dominated people, and they also ate them.

Am I making a stretch when I call them human? I doubt it. Jesus was the result of a spirit/human coupling, and he was human. In any case, demons are our dead brothers and sisters, and they really hate us. They were going to run the world and either destroy us entirely or keep us around as slaves and food. We got it all, with eternal life in heaven to follow, and they got nothing but the promise of eternity in flames.

Supernaturally, we are the 1%.

I’m not saying we make up 1% of the beings that have lived on earth. I’m saying we’re privileged, like the mythical 1% liberals love to hate. Heard of white privilege? We have human privilege. Among humans, God’s children are even more privileged.

The Bible is all about genocide. Churches don’t get that. The earth contains two races: God’s children and the children of darkness. God and Satan battle to exterminate each other’s seed and put their own seed in charge. Read Joshua.

God said Noah was “perfect in his generations.” I take that to mean he had no demon blood. Why? For one thing, the phrase makes no sense otherwise. It doesn’t mean he was righteous, because had that been the case, God would have said, “Noah was righteous.” The bit about “in his generations” makes no sense in that context, but if you take it to mean the generations that gave rise to him were untainted, it all comes together.

Genesis lists Noah’s ancestors carefully. Why do that if you’re not proving a point? His great-grandfather was Enoch, who was so righteous God removed him from the earth. His grandfather was Methuselah, who was so righteous God waited for his death before sending the flood. You won’t see Og the giant in the list.

God flooded the earth to kill off the seed of the angels, and he chose a pure male to repopulate the earth.

The dead children of the angels are stuck here. At least some of them are. Jewish legend says the earth was cleansed of them, and that Satan persuaded God to release 10% to tempt mankind. Mary Baxter, who claims she visited hell, says there are beings partially embedded in the walls there. They can’t come here.

Like whorish girls throwing themselves at rock stars, women had sex with angels, so now we have disembodied demons that cause disease, murder, perversion, mental illness, and all sorts of iniquities.

No man taught me these things. I read Enoch, I read the Bible, I prayed in tongues every day, and things fell together in my mind.

This is what I “believe.” I think God showed it to me. But my faith in what I believe is not perfect. I like having it confirmed by other sources. It proves I’m not making things up.

Fischer’s video was made in 2012. I don’t recall when my understanding of the origin of demons came to me, but it was at around that time. I was going to Trinity Church, which I attended from 2008 until early 2012. I had no idea who Tom Fisher was, and he still has no idea I exist. We didn’t conspire or listen to the same preachers.

If you watch the video, you will see that he says pretty much the same things I say. He says demons are the spirits of giants. He mentions Enoch. That’s confirmation. If there were people teaching these things on TV, and we both watched those people, or if we had seen similar teaching on the web, you could say we drank someone else’s Kool-Aid. That’s not what happened.

He says things I don’t say. He says people have found bones from the giants all over the world. I have never heard anything about that, and to say that I doubt it would be an understatement. I don’t think we’ve found grossly outsize bones that appeared to be humanoid. Sometimes stories and pictures go around the web, using fossils to prove the Bible is true, but they are generally fraudulent.

It’s not unusual for Christians to be fooled by fake news or bogus science.

The Internet is so weird. I started thinking about giants, and I remembered a famous discovery: the Holly Creek giant. The story of the giant says that in 1965, man named Kenneth White found a huge skeleton buried under a cliff in the area of Kentucky known as Holly Creek. When the bones were put together, they measured almost 9 feet in length. The skull had slits instead of round eye sockets, and it was about 30 inches in circumference. White later reburied the bones, and of course, there are no photos, and no one has dug it up to prove the story’s veracity.

My mother was born on Holly Creek. It’s a tiny place. Not even a town. If Kenneth White exists, she probably knew him. I knew an Artie White and a Stan White, from the next county to the west.

I looked around to find evidence supporting or refuting the story, and I came across the obituary of my grandfather’s buddy Earl Napier. I wasn’t looking for it. The name showed up in Google results.

I had wondered what happened to Earl. He died in a hospital in Lexington in 2010. Now I know.

I remember the night Earl punched out a guy named Gary at the Dixieland Lounge in Winchester, where I worked the door. Gary called him a dirty name, and Earl Punched him immediately, right in the mouth. I would say Earl, a former boxer, was 5’7″ tall, and Gary was about 6’6″. Gary was upset afterward because Earl punched him without any warning. I think he felt a man was obligated to respond to a bar challenge orally before attacking. It was a matter of etiquette.

Earl did okay against his giant.

Sometimes I wonder if the dinosaurs were demons. With their outrageous physical adornments, dimensions, and accessories, they remind me of the demon-controlled people who pierce themselves, split their tongues, cover themselves with tattoos, put fake horns under their skin, and so on. God made people look fairly uniform and boring, and he banned body modification under Moses, but Satan is driven by pride and a craving for attention, so his children look for ways to sensationalize their flesh.

Imagine what would happen if a doctor in San Francisco got complete control over people’s genes, and he could turn you into anything you wanted. Imagine the crazy competition that would ensue. Giants. Huge birds. Creatures from Avatar, with upgrades. It would be something to see. It would be like gays competing to get the most attention with their costumes, in parades like the one they have every year in Key West on Halloween.

If God allows us to live long enough, one day we’ll have that kind of control over our flesh, and the excesses will be astounding. Antlers. Fins. Whatever you want.

Enoch said God killed the giants because they were giants in the flesh but not the spirit. That makes complete sense. Satan is all about peaking early, and so are his children. It makes sense that they would be spectacular on earth but pathetic in the afterlife. Look at his famous human children. Beyonce. Madonna. Elvis. Jeff Bezos. Bill Gates. The living ones are very impressive right now, but one second after they die, they will be pitiable, unless they repent.

Satan is like “Peaked in High School Rob Lowe.”

There are dinosaurs whose bodies don’t seem to make sense. What possible evolutionary advantage can there be, on land, to weighing 70 tons? Think of the crazy structures dinosaurs had. Spinosaurus had a huge fin on its back, which would have hindered its movement. Tyrannosaurus had front legs that were too small to reach its mouth or the ground, and scientists can’t figure out how they could have evolved. There were dinosaurs with huge, inexplicable, inconvenient structures on their heads. If you look for physical justifications for these things, they are hard to explain, but if you consider what body modifiers would do if they could change their DNA, they look logical.

I know it doesn’t make sense. We date things using radioactivity, and the dates say dinosaurs disappeared about 60 million years ago. It’s just a funny thought.

I do wonder if our dating techniques are reliable. God and spirits can change the physical world’s properties. For example, there was no rain until Noah’s time. God could change a constant here and a law there and leave us very confused. He held the earth still in the sky for Joshua. He can do whatever he wants.

Why God would allow us to have a misleading fossil record is beyond me, but it’s something I think about. I know God is real; he has proved it over and over. That gives me a firm premise, so the things I see in the physical world, by comparison, are not reliable.

Genesis tells us many things happened, but there are many possibilities it does not mention and doesn’t exclude. We don’t know if the six days of creation were consecutive. It’s not clear whether the days were 24-hour earth days, longer days in an earth that turned more slowly, or longer days measured by heaven’s standards. We don’t know if creatures existed before those named in the creation story.

When I was a kid and I awoke and saw demons crawling on the walls, floor, ceiling, and bed, they appeared to be reptiles and bugs. The reptiles weren’t so large they would be considered unusual on this planet, but the bugs were up to a couple of feet long.

There are fossils of three-foot-long centipedes and an eight-foot millipede as wide as a bathroom scale. Paleontologists have also discovered a dragonfly 17 inches long. There was a two-foot scorpion.

I don’t know how to explain the fossil record, but I have proof that God is real, so it doesn’t matter. Somehow or other, the facts will reconcile when they are known.

Tom Fischer says it’s harder to get demons out of Christians than unbelievers, because Christians know better than to let them in. We allow them in through deliberate sin, and then we hold onto them through denial. We don’t confess or repent, so God allows them to stay. When they are allowed to stay, they corrupt our hearts and give us physical ailments. If we can get rid of them, the iniquities and ailments will leave.

I’ve been confessing and repenting like crazy since I saw Fischer talk about these things in other videos.

I can tell God is destroying the influence spirits have on me. Sometimes I feel things leave. My mind is much quieter than it was a month ago. I think fewer invisible things are speaking to me. My desires are changing suddenly, too.

Fischer and I agree on something else: the eradication of the giants in the promised land was shown to us to symbolize our own obligation to drive demons out of ourselves. No one taught me that. Moses sent spies into the promised land, and when they returned, they said the people who lived there were too strong, and some were giants. Ten spies wanted to quit, and God destroyed them and a bunch of other people with a plague. Two–Joshua and Caleb–had faith and wanted to keep fighting. They were preserved and rewarded with land.

Fischer is the only person other than myself whom I have heard saying these things.

A while back, God told me I was one of many, and he was not kidding. I don’t have to feel proud or special. God is saying the same things to many people. I’m just disconnected from them, as Elijah was disconnected from the 7000 people who had not bent the knee to Baal. God has an army tied together by the Holy Spirit. It’s not something I imagined.

Unfortunately, that army has almost zero influence in organized churches.

Compare modern humans to the 10 weak spies. We are defeated by all sorts of spirits. We give up in the face of cancer, addiction, mental illnesses of all types, blindness, allergies, arthritis, infertility, homosexuality, obesity, and a host of other ills. The vast majority of addicts will die addicts, even with the best help available. Medicine has never cured a cold or the flu.

Lately we’ve adapted by declaring that our demon-driven problems are actually virtues. Fat women are “curvy.” The retarded are “differently abled” or whatever the euphemism of the week calls them. Homosexuality, in which men use highly specialized reproductive organs to deposit reproductive fluid in orifices in which reproduction cannot occur, is considered normal. We glorify cripples instead of healing them. We have a “new normal” attitude toward these things, and worse, we treat people who offer hope like child molesters and rapists. A Christian who tries to help a homosexual will get about the same treatment as a Nazi.

Healing and other types of deliverance have been available, free of charge, for 2000 years, and we have turned away, and we have persecuted those who could help us, because we’re afraid to believe.

I’m going to keep going forward. If I drop dead while trusting God, so be it. I will eventually drop dead anyway, and I don’t have that many years left. What difference does it make? The people who are against me only have a few years to peck at me. After that, I will be beyond their reach and out of the way of all harm.

If you think it would be helpful to you, take a look at the video. It certainly helped me.

Another Youtube Resource

I got up today and watched healing Youtubes over breakfast. Excellent way to start the day. Much better than political blogging or driving off to an office to help people sue each other.

I’ve been writing a lot about a man named Tom Fischer. He quit working and began traveling the world, healing people. He also helps them receive salvation and the baptism with the Holy Spirit. He helps people start praying in tongues. Sometimes he teaches.

I embedded a few of his videos here. I felt he was confirming a notion God gave me a few years ago. I believe God is killing off organized churches. I believe the church era is ending. Churches are human organizations, and Satan is very good at taking those over. He can’t deal with independent individuals connected to God by the Holy Spirit. He’s too small and weak. He doesn’t have the resources.

Through Tom Fischer, I found other people doing the same thing on Youtube.

The other day, reader Steve commented, saying a guy named Tom Loud was doing it. Today I took a look. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised, but Tom Loud knows Tom Fischer.

It appears that there is an informal network of Holy Spirit Youtube healers out there. They know each other. Sometimes they visit each other and make videos together.

It’s great, the way it works. These people can’t be controlled by preachers.

What if Tom Fischer gets a great revelation, and he talks about it on his channel, and fellow Youtube healer Doug Collins gets out of line and disagrees? He can’t do anything to Fischer. He can’t tell him he’s expelled from the church. He can’t take away his position or keep him away from people. All he can do is sit and fume, ineffectually, while Fischer obeys God. He can’t spend Tom’s money on vacations and spas, either. That’s a very powerful church model.

I have no reason to think Doug Collins would do any of that. I picked his name because it was one I knew.

Think how different the Catholic Church is, to pick an extreme example. They can excommunicate you if you stand up for God. Excommunication includes damnation.

At least they can’t torture people to death any more.

My old pastors had the power to separate me from my friends (people I thought were friends). They could keep me from speaking in front of the church. They could take away my offices. Good luck trying that now. I can only say that to Trinity Church, because New Dawn Ministries no longer exists.

Maybe we finally have a viral church. I don’t mean a church that spreads via the Internet. I mean a church that spreads like a virus, from ordinary person to ordinary person. That would be nice. Selfish, attention-whore Preachers are like fat ticks and leeches that need to be sliced off. They are completely unnecessary.

Musings from Patmos

It’s nice when I find out I’ve gotten a harvest from a seed I’ve sown (or unsown). It happened today. I got rid of Facebook a while ago, and today I’m very glad I did. Winnie Mandela just died, and I’m glad I’m not seeing mournful, respectful Facebook posts from people I know.

Winnie Mandela was a sadistic woman who ran a murder gang. She openly endorsed “necklacing.” In South Africa, a “necklace” is a tire with gasoline poured over it. You force it down over a person’s trunk and arms, and then you light it. The victim can’t use his arms, so he is trapped while the tire burns.

Tires burn for a very long time, and they are hard to put out, especially when a gang of people prevents anyone from trying. A person trapped in a burning tire roasts alive, thrashing and screaming in agony. Winnie Mandela was in favor of this. In 1986, she said, “With our boxes of matches and our necklaces we shall liberate this country.”

Winnie Mandela ran a mob that lynched black people, but many black people admire her.

If I still had a Facebook account, I would be tempted to log in and see what my old friends were saying. I know a lot of people who don’t hear from the Holy Spirit. They accept the BLM line without reservation. Some supported Bernie Sanders in 2016. The rest supported Hillary Clinton. They like to go to church and dance and sing, but it’s all make-believe. Church is just a nightclub to them. A place to socialize and be seen and admired.

I don’t care what your political opponents do to your country; if you believe in burning them alive, you serve Satan. Civilized people don’t do things like that. The worst offenders among the men who created and ran the Nazi death camps got trials and humane hangings which caused death instantly. John Gacy was executed painlessly with drugs. Human beings were created in the image of God. There are certain things you just don’t do to them. Not if you have a choice.

Imagine the torments Satan has thought up for this lady. People who claim to have seen hell say Satan tailors the punishment to fit the crime, so the damned experience magnified versions of the things they did to others here on earth.

I am glad I don’t have to deal with the disheartening spectacle of rebellious people praising Winnie Mandela.

On a related note, I’ve been thinking about the kindness God showed me when he got me out of toxic churches and away from Miami.

Charismatics in South Florida are completely out of line with the Holy Spirit. They’re caught up in leftist identity politics. As for Miamians in general, they are generally very weak Christians, atheists, or demon worshipers. Cubans and other island people sacrifice goats and chickens to demons in Miami. There are “churches” where these sacrifices are performed legally. They got the United States Supreme Court to side with them when local officials tried to ban their practices.

I have seen some crazy things in Miami. I volunteered at a church where voodoo practitioners showed up at night uninvited, to light candles and speak curses. We found a voodoo doll on the property, with a big red hole where its heart should have been.

The doll worked. The people who formed the believing heart of the church were driven out by the pastors.

I used to have a photo of that doll stored in a phone. It disappeared.

People say you can’t curse a Christian, so how can I claim a voodoo doll worked? Think of the things that have happened to Christians and ask yourself if they’re really immune to curses. You can’t curse someone who walks with God, but how many Christians fit that description? The voodoo buffs beat the Wilkerson family (the people whose corporation owns Trinity Church). Real devil worshipers will beat insincere Christians every time. That also goes for ignorant Christians. It’s hard to think of a charismatic pastor who has served as long and learned less than Rich Wilkerson.

I looked over a series of blog posts I wrote during the final weeks of my relationship with New Dawn Ministries, the extinct church I belonged to until 2015. I saw that I had misremembered a few things. For example, I thought I was a deacon and armorbearer when I left. That’s not exactly true. A few weeks before I was given notice that I was unwelcome, I quit serving. Officially, I was “taking a break,” not quitting, but I never served again.

The day I stopped serving is when I started healing. It was as if breath returned to my lungs.

Before I quit, I had been coming to church at around 8:00 a.m. I helped get things ready. I participated in the volunteer prayer session, which the pastors and “house prophet” often skipped. I sat around a lot. The pastors and “prophet” often showed up late, but we were required to arrive too early. In order to accommodate my morning prayer routine, I had to get up between 5 and 6 a.m. The services usually ran until early afternoon. Sometimes they were longer. On some occasions, they kept going because God was moving. A lot of the time, it was because the pastor wanted to talk.

It was a burden, and burdens are what Jesus said he would take away from us.

The time of the volunteers was wasted, as though it had no value. We had to spend too much time at church, and on top of that, we were serving a man and woman who were undermining everything we did. The pastors were killing the church with painfully loud music and services that went on forever. We were on a treadmill. In fact, one day while I was sitting in church, I heard God say, “Stay on the treadmill.” I wrote it down. He wasn’t giving an order. He was summarizing the sermon. He was telling me we were going nowhere, and that the pastor was commanding us to continue doing things that did not work. The river was supposed to be carrying us forward, but we were trapped in an eddy.

When I quit serving, I felt like I had put down a huge barbell. I started coming to church at 10:30 and leaving when I thought it was appropriate. I didn’t have to stand outside and open the door for people. I didn’t have to go to early-morning volunteer meetings and be chastised for not giving the pastor enough money for his birthday, or for not honoring his marijuana-promoting, disrespectful son. I didn’t have to listen to his out-of-order wife. I didn’t have to put up with her writing things like “PLEASE DELETE THIS POST!!!” when I said things on Facebook.

The Jezebel spirit is real. A friend of mine thinks Satan is effeminate, and I think he’s right. Satan acts like a jilted first wife or a bitter ex-girlfriend, and he does marvelous things through overbearing, masculine women and effeminate or lazy men. God cursed Adam with curses that reflected Adam’s behavior toward him. One of the curses was that his wife would seek to control him.

When you reject a controlling woman, she doesn’t just seek to reconstruct her own life. She devotes her time to making you suffer. Satan is like that. He lived close to the throne, clothed in glory that came from God, like an arrogant wife wearing clothes her husband paid for. God has a new “wife” now. He has the body of Christ. No ex can stand a new wife who is prettier and more supportive. No ex can stand to see a doting ex-husband giving beautiful things to his new wife or raising kids with her. No wonder Satan’s only pleasure comes from making us suffer.

There is no way I could go back to that kind of life. Some ex-convicts say they would rather die than go back to prison. I know the feeling. That’s how I feel about fake churches and South Florida. When God frees you from a slave master who destroys your dignity, the thought of going back is too vile to contemplate.

I loved the freedom I had after I quit. If the pastors felt this way or that about something, it wasn’t my problem. I didn’t have to listen to them. If they came up with a hopeless project God clearly wasn’t behind, I didn’t have to get involved.

I remember the pastor saying we had to give more money, because he wanted a new building. I had started giving LESS money, and I was very happy about it. I didn’t do as he asked.

His brother-in-law started an orphanage in Haiti. This was a guy with a history of failed church projects, and he was involving desperate kids in this one. Suddenly his tendency to fail was dangerous.

I didn’t touch it. There were better people running orphanages already, and sending money to proven winners seemed like the way to go. God doesn’t back failure. He takes from those who lack and gives to those who already have. Remember him saying that? He blesses people who are capable of receiving blessings.

The pastor’s brother-in-law couldn’t raise money to get a new building. He failed. He also failed when he tried to increase church membership. He failed when he tried to get a men’s ministry off the ground. With the creation of the orphanage campaign, we were supposed to trust him with the welfare of fragile children.

Not possible.

He also failed when he tried to rally the troops after the pastor was arrested. He accused them of “running.” There was no way they could continue to follow the pastor, and it should have been obvious.

They had some kind of fundraising banquet which was disastrous. People said the food was extremely bad. I didn’t go. I wasn’t A victim any more. Also nice: I no longer had to contribute to birthday collections for the pastors or the many “pastor appreciation day” collections the church demanded. It was beautiful.

I was tired of photos of the pastors being massaged and pampered at our expense. I can understand doing something nice occasionally for tired servants who work hard, but our pastors were very lazy. They only opened the church for services. The rest of the week, it was closed, and they had lives of leisure.

The best thing about the change was that I didn’t answer to the pastors or “prophet” any more. If I felt like saying this or that about God, I said it. I said it, publicly or privately, as I felt moved by the Spirit. There was nothing they could do. I could take down the prosperity gospel. I could debunk the feel-good gospel.

They were conspiring about me behind my back, and they gave a close friend the assignment of spying on me (for which she later apologized), but I was unaware and unconcerned.

After I cut the cord, I took the gloves off. The pastor’s brother-in-law butted in on a Facebook entry I wrote, because he thought I was commenting negatively on his orphanage project. I was actually talking about something else.

At New Dawn Ministries, like Trinity, negativity was worse than blasphemy. Once they committed to a mistake, they did not want to hear any back talk. They would point the ship toward the rocks, and everyone had to cheer until they ran it up on the rocks.

The pastors at New Dawn didn’t even accept negativity from prophets. Their official doctrine was that a prophet only said encouraging things.

The brother-in-law was mistaken about me criticizing his orphanage, but since he brought it up I decided to treat him like a man and not a porcelain doll. I stated my misgivings about it, and he blew up. He wrote a long outburst accusing me of speaking as though I were “the voice of God.” He ended it with some incongruous Christianese boilerplate about loving me and wanting to help me and so on.

When Christians are furious at you, they will often tell you they love you and want to help you.

We have all experienced this. “You lying backslider and wolf in sheep’s clothing: Satan has prepared a special place in hell for people like you. Get ready to burn for all eternity. You will pay for your heresy unless you repent. I say this with love, my Christian brother, so call me if you want prayer.”

Who accepts an offer like that?

When you don’t take up their very attractive offers of help, you’re the one who looks like a heathen. At least they hope so.

In what must was a tremendous affront to a member of the pampered inner circle, I flatly stated that I didn’t think the stuff about love and good wishes was sincere, given the things that immediately preceded it.

I committed other offenses. I reached out to people about lazy pastors who let their wives abuse churchgoers. When I found out the pastors were urging members to shun people who left the church, I called them and their church out by name and told people they were welcome to remain in my life. I had a public discussion with three other people who had been shunned, and we held nothing back, because we wanted others to wake up and be protected. The freedom was very pleasant.

You can’t imagine what a sensation this was. The pastors of this failed one-room church were extremely proud and very quick to anger, and so were their relatives and associates. That anyone would contradict them publicly was unthinkable. You just couldn’t do it. It could not happen. Yet it was happening.

I can see why John the Baptist taught in the wilderness, far from the rabbis.

It’s not surprising that the head pastor got charged with felonies. God uses progressive punishment: hints, then strong warnings, then little problems, and then very big problems, with hell the biggest problem of all. The pastors were incapable of self-examination. They closed their ears, so the consequences kept building. A friend of mine says God would have spared him, had he listened. I believe that’s true.

I have rejected correction myself, so I know how it works. I am grateful to God because he got through to me before I exhausted his patience.

Recently I realized God had put me in northern Florida to heal me of the wounds I received in the snakepit of South Florida. Now I understand that he is also keeping me away from church so I can be healed of the wounds I received from backward Christians.

I doubt I’ll ever go to church regularly again. God showed me that almost everyone who has mistreated me or held me back in recent years was a Christian, going after me because I was open about sick doctrine. That’s quite a testimony. I have to be concerned about unequal yoking, not just when I associate with heathens, but even when I walk through the doors of a church. That’s a little too much opposition to put up with consistently.

Church should be like a wife. It should give you support and rest. It should back you up and help you succeed. My churches were like hookers. They only wanted me for what I could do for them. I sincerely wanted to help them do well, but they didn’t care about me at all. I was just a john.

My churches’ leaders provoked me to anger with consistent abuse. Provocation is temptation. I have enough temptation in my life without finding it at church. I know I have to forgive people, but I don’t want to subject myself to unrepentant, self-righteous people who require forgiveness over and over.

Jesus said you should forgive a brother seventy times seven times, but he didn’t say you should be grafted to such a person at the hip. Hanging around with abusive people is like remaining on a beach after the topless girls come out. The first time a person tempts you to be angry, it’s his fault. Every time you allow him to do it after that, it’s your fault.

None of this should be controversial. There is nothing unusual or surprising about receiving bad treatment from Christians. It’s what’s supposed to happen, in this world of deaf and blind believers. It’s normal. God told us it would happen.

Jesus and the prophets were killed or sent to be killed by Jews who believed in God and thought their persecution was pleasing to him. Jesus never had a problem with a pagan until the rabbis gave him to the Romans, and even then, the Romans did their best to turn him loose. The Jews insisted he be killed.

The Jews, not the Romans, stoned Stephen to death because he admitted he saw Jesus in heaven at the right hand of God. Paul sat by and approved. Before his conversion, Paul was a pious Jew whose job was to round up Christians and have them imprisoned by other pious Jews. He wasn’t a pagan.

Through a psalm, Jesus said he was wounded in the house of his friends. He said his own friend had lifted up his heel against him. If I draw close to God and then experience abuse from Christians, it’s not an anomaly. It’s confirmation of God’s word.

Life is so strange.

I’m not concerned about church any more. I will focus on healing, and if God sends me to a church later on, I will go. It’s a good arrangement. I don’t want my Sundays screwed up any more. Somewhere, there are people who can be blessed, and God will put me among them, church or no church.

Maybe you’re enslaved, like I was. Are your pastors proud? Do they listen to correction? Do they have a bunch of corrupt, inept relatives and friends who get cushy jobs and lots of unquestionable authority? Do they hide their finances the way my pastors did? Is your church languishing and failing to grow? Are you expected to donate excessive amounts of money, time, and work? Do you feel like you’re being restrained? Have you been persecuted for telling the truth? If you have had these problems, you may be in a cult.

It’s okay, and it’s important, to ask God to help you understand your situation. He didn’t create you to serve a self-anointed pharaoh, and he will be happy to set you free.