Mish-Led?
June 8th, 2009Blog Drama Approaches Crescendo
I have some weird news for you.
A few months back, someone I know voiced suspicions regarding the existence of Mish Weiss. As I recall, this was before the strange twists and turns in her story. According to Mish’s blog, she was fighting leukemia, and things didn’t look good. I don’t think we had learned of her long-lost daughter, who later gave her a bone marrow transplant. At that time, it made for moving reading, but it wasn’t unbelievable.
Out of respect for my friend’s instincts, I did a little research. I couldn’t find any record of a Mish Weiss in New Jersey, which is where she says she was born. I did find evidence of Mish which predated the leukemia story, and it didn’t seem to have anything to do with cancer or drama. I also considered the friends Mish named on her blog. At least one of them, Cary Veech, seemed to check out as a real person. And I knew Leah from my own blog, where she had been commenting for a long time.
My conclusion was that the story was probably real. I figured a fake this detailed would be beyond the reach of a bored blogger starving for attention. I believe what I said was that prayer didn’t cost me anything, so it wasn’t a great loss if it turned out my suspicious friend was right.
I didn’t know as much about the story as many other people. I didn’t keep up with any of the crew on Facebook or Twitter. I just checked in on Mish and posted prayer requests from time to time. I really wasn’t concerned about whether it was real; I figured I would err on the side of caution and not worry about it. Others inquired more deeply.
Now if you go to Leah Friedman’s blog, you will see a bizarre post by her friend Cary. He claims he has locked everyone out of the blog, and he says he and Leah have a relationship, and he can’t get her to confirm her identity, or even that she exists. So there goes one real-life friend who seemed to confirm the story.
I learned something weird today. Supposedly, Mish had an online friend who was an FBI agent, and who claimed he was joining the Mossad. That’s a little hard to swallow. The Mossad is an intelligence agency belonging to another country. That makes it exceedingly unlikely that they would accept American citizens belonging to another intelligence agency with interests that sometimes conflict with Israel’s. A commenter on Leah’s blog says this person, who calls himself “Mason,” has removed his Twitter account and pretty much vanished. This is all secondhand; I have not kept up with this the way others have, so I can only report what they say.
Another comment says no oncology department in Jerusalem has any record of Mish Weiss or anyone resembling her.
On top of that, Mish’s blog is now private. I have no idea what’s going on. I haven’t been invited yet.
So what is the truth? No idea. If it’s a con, it’s very well done. I admit, the story has gotten awfully good lately, which is cause for skepticism, but remarkable things do happen. You can’t just assume unusual stories aren’t true.
I guess we’ll get the answer this week. If Leah and Mish are on the level, they can prove it very quickly, and they will. If not, not.
Do I feel angry or betrayed? No. Like I said, a little bird has been whispering in my ear about this for a very long time, so I knew there was a possibility I was wasting my time. I don’t care. Praying for other people improves me. I got my blessing out of it, regardless of whether the story is true. If it’s a sham, the punishment will not fall on me.
In a way, I hope it’s a lie, because it means there is no sick girl languishing in a hospital bed in Jerusalem. I don’t feel stupid; everyone believes a good lie. It’s not going to make me bitter or damage my faith. I don’t have faith in people; I haven’t for a long time. I have faith in God.
I know my friend the skeptic will be excited to read this. I won’t out that person. They can pipe up in the comments if they wish. If Mish is imaginary, figuring it out so early was pretty sharp, so unnamed friend, my hat is off to you.
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It gets even weirder! Now Leah’s blog has been changed to invitation-only!
June 9th, 2009 at 9:46 PM
Gossip in Hebrew is Lashon Hara, which literally means “the evil tongue.” Lashon Hara is Negative Mitzvah #301; it essentially outlaws gossip, true or false, about others or even one’s self.
“Don’t bear vain hearsay”; with a slight change in the vocalization we also learn “Don’t give others the chance to bear vain hearsay” (Exodus 23:1).
And this is a very serious and dangerous transgression. The Psalms state that a person who desires life will avoid speaking ill of others (Psalms 34:13-14)); and our sages stated, “Gossip kills three: the teller, the listener, and the subject.” A “vain” story doesn’t have to be false or even slanderous; as long as the subject would prefer not to have the story broadcast, it is considered gossip and it’s none of your business.
June 9th, 2009 at 11:48 PM
Steve,
The operation was a success! A 40 watt laser was used to break up the kidney stone. Another stent was placed for the recovery period. I am at home, resting comfortably. The urologist wants to see me in about a month. Thanks for all of your prayers.
–Brad
June 10th, 2009 at 7:30 AM
Aaron is an Orthodox Jew. I have a great deal of respect for his opinions on moral and theological issues. Here is what he told me a while back about lashon hara: whether a tale is gossip depends on the context.
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Only Cary knows whether what he has done is right. If he is sure he was duped and the rest of us were duped, or even if he only suspects this very strongly and can’t get cooperation from Mish and Leah in resolving the question, he is right to break the story. Many people have spent hours of their time praying and fasting about this. A person has a limited amount of time and energy to devote to such things, so wasting time on a liar tends to deprive the deserving, who would otherwise receive the benefit.
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The question can be resolved in one day. “Taking the high road” doesn’t mean refraining from taking simple steps to end a controversy in which well-meaning people have become embroiled because of their desire to help you.
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Furthermore, attacking the messenger is a classic method liars use when exposed, and it is not even close to the high road. To anyone who has dealt with a drug addict, the strategy is painfully familiar.
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I dimly remember reading that Mish’s birthday was April Fool’s Day. Maybe Moxie can confirm this; I don’t know whether I mentioned it to her. I thought it was meaningless, because a con artist would have to be a moron to choose that day. Now I wonder if I was taken in.
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Mish and Leah should have verifiable contacts confirm their story. It’s a reasonable demand to make, in view of the sacrifices people are making for them, and it will validate a wonderful testimony that will benefit many, many believers.
June 10th, 2009 at 7:35 AM
Here’s something from Wikipedia.
“There are times when a person is obligated to speak out, even though the information is disparaging. Specifically, if a person’s intent in sharing the negative information is for a to’elet, a positive, constructive, and beneficial purpose, the prohibition against lashon hara does not apply. Motzi shem ra, spouting lies and spreading disinformation, is always prohibited. And if the lashon hara serves as a warning against the possibility of future harm, such communication is not only permissible, but, under certain conditions, compulsory.”
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I know Wikipedia is not the greatest possible authority on Jewish law, but this seems to make sense.
June 10th, 2009 at 7:54 AM
Better yet, from Torah.org:
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“So far, we have discussed individuals who have a sincere feeling of regret for straying from the path of our heritage. However, if someone proves himself to be one who does not care about Torah observance, either by
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1. demonstrating a flippant attitude in these matters, or
2. intentionally violating any commandment several times or intentionally violating a commandment which everyone knows about…
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…it is permissible to embarrass him and publicly speak derogatorily about him both in front of him and behind his back. Furthermore, if he does or says something which can be interpreted in different ways, as an established evil doer he is judged as guilty. The Sages instruct us to treat a consistently wicked person this way so that the community is separated from the religious disgrace (“chilul Hashem” = desecrating the name of G-d) that the individual has created. The community members should dishonor him until after the sinner returns from his corrupt ways. “
June 10th, 2009 at 12:48 PM
Re Wikipedia: that’s how I understand it. I shouldn’t tell you about how I was ripped off by a vendor unless I know that you are about to use the same vendor. Regarding motzei shem ra, there is also the positive commandment to keep far from falsehood. “Keep thee far from a false matter; and the innocent and righteous slay thou not; for I will not justify the wicked.” Exodus 23:7. There is no commandment for me to keep far from pork or shaatnez (garment made with wool and linen mixture) or my neighbor’s wife (Leviticus 18:20). I merely have to not eat, wear or cohabit, respectively. Falsehood, however is unique in that one is positively commanded to distance oneself from it.
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There is also the command to judge favorably. (Lev. 19:15), “Judge your fellow people righteously.” If I saw a Hasid walk into a McDonald’s, there is the possibility that he may be diabetic and is ordering a Coke or that he desperately needed a bathroom. If one saw him walk out of the McDonald’s, sat down, opened up a Big Mac and chowed down, there’s even the possibility that there may be a movie being shot nearby and he’s an extra in costume. I live in Los Angeles, so this is quite plausible. OTOH, if I recognized the person, I might wish to take an unembarrassing moment to inquire.
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Another resource: http://www.torah.org/learning/halashon/chapter3.html
June 10th, 2009 at 1:08 PM
I am convinced now that this is one or two people max.
Maybe even some 60 year old male pervert or someone very lonely. What a shame. I got sucked in, but thankfully only for the last 10 weeks, not months or years like some of you.
I even had personal e-mails from him/it.
Whomever this poor pathetic person is, I pray they got what they needed from this & I pray that they WILL get what they DESERVE.
I also hope, that we (all of us suckers, who fell prey to this scandal) don’t lose sight of the good & compassion in real people, and that we don’t lose our faith & trust in people because of this idiot.
There are lots of sick, real people with horrible circumstances that so need our prayers and help.
June 10th, 2009 at 2:15 PM
This whole situation reminds me of this form the Holy Grail:
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zrzMhU_4m-g
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Either that or “The hunchback of Notre Dame”
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http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hunchback_of_Notre_Dame
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I do not know why you are believing the words of ONE man who recently broke up with one of these women (thus having a grudge issue to deal with) – or disinterested parties who really haven’t done all that reading (let alone commented) on the websites.
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Now that I have experienced my first internet ‘hoax’hunt, I’ve come to the conclusion that I personally would not want to give ANY information about myself to people accusing me of not existing – especially the person who started the whole crazy thing in the first place.
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If I lived in Israel, I’d have even less reason to do so.
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Believe what you want.
June 10th, 2009 at 2:20 PM
Not sure who you’re addressing.
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Don’t forget the difference between skepticism and belief that another person has committed fraud. They are not even nearly the same thing.
June 10th, 2009 at 2:45 PM
Cary is NOT telling the whole story.
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There are other things I’d like to add – but out of respect for the privacy of the people involved, I WILL remain silent. Besides, I do not have enough creditability to prove or disprove anything to the people who come here to your website.
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But I AM dismayed at how readily people choose to call this a hoax based on the words of a person who has personal issues with the people he is accusing (one of which has been unconscious for days so she can’t speak on her own behalf). What are his credentials that you so readily believe him? Do you REALLY know who this man is? I can believe that you are even letting this guy get you to doubt. Your skepticism in this case, is based on half truths (half truths are quite powerful – as you know). You are being misled.
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Being that you are one of creditability at your website, Steve, perhaps you can ask Leah in _private_ about her _private_ life and then give your judgment as to whether you choose to believe her or Cary. I am sure the people here would follow what you have to say with out _dissecting_ this poor girls life on the world-wide-web. Maybe have Aaron speak with her instead of you. Up to you.
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As a landlord, I’ve experienced what Cary is doing to Leah. Several times.
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Cary is not telling the whole story.
June 10th, 2009 at 3:11 PM
Why can’t Leah put an end to this by proving some of the facts wrong? It could be done in an hour, with minimal effort. It wouldn’t be stooping to the level of an unethical enemy; it would be completely proper.
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I don’t want to make a “judgment” when it would be so easy for me to know for certain.
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All I know about Cary is what he tells us. So far, nothing he has said fails to check out. If there’s another side, someone will have to tell me what it is. I’m not going to assume anything, just so I can believe what I want to.
June 10th, 2009 at 3:34 PM
She shouldn’t have to.
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Especially if you read her blog very far back or if you read her twitters. This cresendo of crisises for both these women are in the _recent_ past.
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Their fame occurred by accident. They are very private people. Leah strikes me as shy; which is an opposite to who Mish is.
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Their problems are extra ordinary. But as Mark Twain said that fiction needs to be believable. Yes, sometimes drama comes into people lives, and in this case, it has happened to BOTH of them (Well, Leah had ongoing problems…but not like recently).
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If you choose to talk to her, perhaps you can come as a friend rather than a judge. It may help. But I think she wants her life _private_ and not something they put on the Jerry Springer show.
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btw… my neighbors birthday is April 1st. She just turned 88 years old. I used to shovel her snow and mow her lawn.
June 10th, 2009 at 3:39 PM
“She shouldn’t have to” is not an argument. Posting confirmation is what almost any reasonable person would do.
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I can only care about this as much as the actual players do. It’s not my job to play Internet detective. I am making no inquiries and no assumptions. I’m done until I hear something probative.
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Thread closed.
July 22nd, 2009 at 1:19 PM
[…] Well now there are indications Mish’ story may be a hoax.* […]