Art Imitates Low Life

Today’s Day by Day strip got me thinking. You don’t have to click on the link; I installed Chris’s new robo-banner to your left. Mouse over it, and you get the current strip.

The subject is women in abusive relationships. This is a topic that is close to my heart. Abusive relationships are extremely frustrating for people who care about the victims. Not just because the victims suffer, but because abused women invite, prolong, and revive the abuse. Getting a woman to drop an abuser and cut him out of her life completely–which are the only appropriate things to do–is about as easy as getting someone off crack.

Here are some thing women should know.

1. If you have to walk on eggs around your partner, you are in an abusive relationship.

2. If you think it’s your fault when your partner blows up, you are in an abusive relationship.

3. If you feel like you accomplished something when you come to the end of a day during which your partner has not mistreated you–if a day when you are treated with ordinary kindness and respect seems special–you are in an abusive relationship.

4. If you push friends and relatives away because they complain about the way your partner treats you, you are in an abusive relationship, and you are doing exactly what the abuser wants, and before long, he will be your only social contact.

5. Your abusive partner is not going to change, barring divine intervention in response to a sincere religious conversion on the part of the abuser. You can bet your life that won’t happen.

6. The longer you stay with or even communicate with your abusive partner, the harder it will be to get away.

7. When an abuser begs for forgiveness and swears he’ll change, it’s just his way of getting you back into a situation where he can continue abusing you.

8. If you continue to communicate with the abuser, even as a friend, the abusive relationship is still alive, and you are not completely safe. Removing an abuser from your life is like removing a cancer; you have to get it all out.

Here’s another fact. A partner doesn’t have to touch you to be abusive. If you live with someone who runs you down in order to control you, it’s abuse. And women abuse, too.

If you’re with someone who systematically insults your appearance, your intelligence, your accomplishments, your character, or your lovemaking, you’re in an abusive relationship. It may be more subtle than dragging you around by your hair or choking you, but it’s a different way of achieving the same end.

Here’s something else you need to know. If you persist in “trying to make it work,” the people who care about you will eventually leave you alone and let you descend into hell. That’s what people do with addicts…like you. They withdraw until the addicts get so desperate they sincerely try to help themselves.

You can make little changes in a partner. You may be able to make a husband pick up his socks. You may be able to persuade a woman to stop leaving her makeup all over the bathroom. But you can’t make an abusive partner kind and supportive. You may think your relationship is special, and that other people don’t understand, but it isn’t, and they do. You’re the one who doesn’t understand.

If you want to see a great portrait of abuse, rent What’s Love Got to Do With It. It’s a hundred percent accurate. An abuser punishes his wife when he has problems in business. He will punish his wife for anything that resembles criticism. And he will never believe the relationship is over, because as far as he’s concerned, you’re like part of his body. Like property. He’s just like you; he thinks your relationship is special.

I kind of wish Chris would go back to making fun of Nancy Pelosi.

Clerks III

Am I crazy, or has Kevin Smith totally given up?

I just took a look at a teaser for his new film, Zack and Miri Make a Porno. It’s funny, but it’s only funny because it’s unbelievably filthy. Any imbecile who can string a few dirty words together can be hilarious. It requires very little talent. Why on earth is a middle-aged man with a whole bunch of movies to his credit still resorting to cheap humor? What kind of legacy is that?

Not every dirty filmmaker lacks talent. Mike Judge made Beavis and Butt-head, which was full of filth and sensationalism. Then he made King of the Hill, which was not only cleaner, but somewhat wholesome. And it was really good. Why isn’t Kevin Smith willing to face the same challenge? My guess: desperation. He made his ensemble movies, which made a little money, and then he made Jersey Girl, which did not. Then he went back to the ensemble. And he made a big speech about how it had nothing to do with having failed and wanting to go back to something safe. But who believes that? Nobody. His audience isn’t completely stupid. Does anyone seriously believe that when he made Jersey Girl, he planned to go back to Jay and Silent Bob? Come on. No way. When he made Jersey Girl, he was looking for a way out. He wanted to prove he could do something new. Any creative person can see that.

He gets really furious when people poke at this sensitive topic, which tells you everything you need to know. I just saw a video where a fan asked him if he was going to move on to new things, and Smith heaped vile insults on him. Smith was exposed, and he didn’t like it.

I think he’s making a big mistake, going back to high school humor. He should have sucked it up after Jersey Girl and tried again. It’s not like he’s poor or old. It wouldn’t have killed him to make a second more or less grown-up film.

Or maybe I’m wrong. Maybe he doesn’t have what it takes. I’m trying to remember the clean parts of his films, to get an idea of whether he can be funny without going cheap. He wrote a lot of scenes that were smart and clean, but I don’t recall a lot of clean scenes that made me laugh. Okay, I can think of some things. Hooper X was funny.

He may be misgauging his audience very badly. His fans are not young any more. Clerks is fourteen years old, and Smith’s only real successes were 1999’s Dogma and 2006’s Clerks II, and they were not hits. Maybe his aging audience is getting tired of sex and poop jokes, and turning back to these old standbys is the worst thing he can do. I own a copy of Clerks, but if Clerks had been made this year, at my age, I wouldn’t have gone to see it.

Besides, at a certain age, you have to ask yourself if you want to a) make quality movies or b) be the next John Waters.

I think about issues like this a lot, because I’m religious, but I would like to keep on writing humor. I don’t want to suck the fun out of my books. But is that really a risk, for a talented person? No. Far from it. In fact, clean sells, IF it’s clean and funny. If I’m willing to take twice as long to write a page, I can be both, so that’s what I should try to do. It takes more work, but it also demonstrates a higher level of ability.

You want proof that you don’t have to be dirty to be funny and profitable? Here: My Big Fat Greek Wedding. Funnier than anything Kevin Smith has ever done. No filth. No cruelty. You can watch it with your grandmother and your twelve-year-old son. Budget: $5 million. Gross: $368 million, plus. Guess what you would have if you added up the grosses of all of Kevin Smith’s movies. Here’s your answer: less. In fact, that would probably be true if you slashed the 3 and only kept the 6 and the 8. If Nia Vardalos drops dead today, and Kevin Smith continues making movies for thirty years, her lifetime gross will probably still dwarf his, and she has only made one movie to his eight. And if she and Kevin Smith walk into a studio head’s office today at the same time, each claiming to have a fantastic new script in hand, who do you think will get shown in first?

“Kevin, run out and pick up some lunch for us, okay, babe?”

If Dogma was his brainchild, it proves he can come up with a story (unlike his other movies). And we know he can write dialogue. So why keep pandering to brainless, smirking college kids?

It’s pointless for him to continue refusing to admit he’s in a rut. He already admitted he was tired of his old shtick. He admitted it by trying to make a romantic comedy.

You could not drag me to see his new movie. I don’t even care if it’s funny. There are only so many shocking sex and poop jokes you can stand to hear from Kevin Smith. I get it; I get it. It’s two ordinary people looking and acting very serious while they try to make money filming a porno. It’s hilarious when people talk about genitals in a detached and businesslike way. Oh, boy, is that funny. Or at least it was, maybe thirty years ago, when the concept wasn’t completely played out. I’m not paying good money to sit through this mess, and I suspect the overwhelming majority of ticket buyers–even atheists and longtime Kevin Smith fans–will agree with me.

You Read it Here First

You know that 500-pound “bigfoot corpse” those clowns in Georgia claim they have in a cooler in Georgia? Well, it’s a fake.

I guess you’re wondering how I know. Here’s how.

1. I am old.

2. I am not a moron.

Thanks for your time.

More

Breaking news: Janet Reno is missing.

Ho Hum I Felt a Sprinkle

Man, that was fast. This morning the TV weatherpersons were saying the tropical whatever down by the DR was dying. Here it is only a few hours later, and the damned thing has gone past depression, straight to named storm. On the up side, it still appears doomed to drag its sorry behind up the length of Cuba. I am somewhat disappointed, but I see no need to stop gloating.

When it leaves Cuba, it will be a tropical storm, at best. Fine by me. A little rain. A little wind. You can’t compare it to a hurricane. And tropical storms don’t have much effect on important things like power lines. It’s a funny thing, but around here, the power goes out during lightning storms (because Florida Power & Light is run by squirrel monkeys), but a light hurricane doesn’t have much effect, and that means a tropical storm won’t, either.

The computer models are looking great. Only one takes it near enough to me to make it a problem. And the forecast doesn’t show it turning into a hurricane. NOAA says it may drop 12″ of rain on Cuba. My response? BFD. I’ve seen 14″ here in Miami, on a completely ordinary day. Oooooooooooo scary. Hold me, Al Gore. My yard may become damp.

By this time in 2005, we had had five tropical storms and four hurricanes, and Katrina and tropical storm Jose were forming. This year is a joke, just like last year and 2006. Drink that tasty bathwater, hippies. Your storm plague just isn’t happening. Also, the Beatles suck, and George Bush will never be impeached.

See if You Can Make it Rain on the Hippies

Nothing is quite so beautiful as an August weekend in Miami, with a failed tropical depression somewhere to the southeast. That is the situation in which I find myself at present.

Hurricane…oops, I mean “tropical storm”…no, wait, “tropical depression”…wrong again…”Invest 92L” is wandering toward Hispaniola, packing weak winds and a moderate amount of rain. After that, it will take the long route across Cuba, losing power the whole way. Once that’s done, it will pop out in the Florida Straits or over the southern Bahamas, where almost nobody lives. If it manages to become a real storm after that, it will be a big surprise, but it will probably be too far offshore to do any damage.

I have to say it again. I love the word “invest.” We never heard it before 2006. At least not in relation to weather. We used to have hurricanes, tropical storms, tropical depressions, and sometimes “tropical waves.” But no invests. Why is that? Simple. Global warming turned out to be a crock, the epidemic of killer storms failed to materialize, we ran short of significant tropical weather events to panic about, and TV journalists and greenies needed a device to help them save face. We’ve had two slow seasons in a row, we are in the midst of a third, and four years ago, these boobs were telling us to expect twenty man-caused hurricanes per year. So now whenever it rains off the coast of Africa, they put up fuzzy, vague satellite photos of the wet area, and they tell us it’s an invest. And they say we need to “keep a close eye on it” in case it turns into a monster storm, which will require us to “hunker down.”

Translation: “we cannot justify our salaries or our existence.”

Whenever I hear the ridiculous phrase “hunker down,” I picture people squatting in their living rooms like chimpanzees. Here’s what it really means. “Close your shutters and buy five bags of ice.”

What if things get even slower, and we don’t even have invests? What will TV weathermen use to scare us and pump up their salaries and persuade networks to pay for fancy gear? I know. Whenever it drizzles for a few minutes, just west of the Azores, they’ll call it “a tropical booboo.” “This tropical booboo by the Cape Verde islands may become an invest by the middle of the week. Hunker down and quit using toilet paper.”

I know I shouldn’t gloat, but you have to understand something. For several years, liberals have been actively rooting for hurricanes to develop. That’s no exaggeration. It’s like the war in Iraq. The more bodies come home, the more Congressional seats liberals gain, so Democrats wept and squirmed when the troop surge worked, and the liberal media sat on (and still sits on) the story. The more hurricanes we have, the more credible the global warming myth becomes, and the more control liberals can exert over our lives. So a slow season is a catastrophe.

The big problem with this attitude–there are a few, but this is the biggest–is that hurricanes are very BAD. As a person who has experienced 180 mile-per-hour winds and who has been through at least five hurricanes, I can tell you that a hurricane is nothing to root for. They kill people. They destroy homes. They disrupt lives. They spawn crimes of opportunity, and they lead to gunshot deaths. Only an effete liberal could be happy about things like that. Theory is fun, but sometimes you have to remember that human beings are not just pixels on a monitor. We suffer and die. Our welfare is more important than the need to prop up Al Gore’s fatuous lies. Thinking of people as abstractions is what leads to leftist delights such as killing fields and purges.

Katrina was one of the greatest things that ever happened to the American left. It also killed hundreds of people and destroyed a major city. Call me crazy; on the whole, I think we sustained a net loss. I wonder how many liberals would trade their Congressional majority for the undoing of Katrina. Let’s face it. Very few. If you can hope your country loses a war, no catastrophe can reanimate your withered, vestigial empathy.

Pretty soon I’m going to have to put the graph up. You may remember it. I mean the graph of hurricane frequency versus time of year. We are nearly at the mid-point of the hurricane season. The historical graph shows that storm frequency peaks sharply in the middle of the season. We have probably seen almost 50% of this year’s activity by now. After September 30th, our chances of a storm will drop off to a very comfortable near-nothing. And the greenies will have to drink their bathwater yet again. And yes, I know they don’t really bathe. B.O. and funk are good for Gaia, the big lifeless clod of dirt God gave us to subdue and enslave and deplete for our benefit and amusement.

Nuts on the left actually blamed George Bush for the hurricanes of 2004 and 2005. Look it up; they were completely serious. If he caused the storms, he also gets credit for the calm weather we’re having now. Wow, Mr. President, way to stop those hurricanes. The left concedes that you control the weather, so obviously, you are the reason our roofs aren’t blowing off. And thanks for all the sunshine. My Key limes and plantains have never looked better. I’d appreciate it if you could cut the humidity on October 1st. We need a little rain for the Biscayne aquifer, but after that, we can do without the sticky nights.

There is no wave of killer hurricanes. The polar bears are not drowning, and they never were, and they never will be. Global warming is not happening, to any significant extent. And Al Gore is still a liar and an energy-wasting hypocrite. Nice things to know, as I coast into another sunny South Florida weekend.

Now You Can Relax

I keep forgetting to mention this.

Are you wondering who it is that you are reminded of when you hear the Obamessiah’s voice? Well, wonder no more. It’s Jose Ferrer.

Gables Eatery has the Right Idea

I just treated my father to dinner at an interesting restaurant: Randazzo’s Little Italy, in Coral Gables. It’s a red-and-white Italian joint, which is pretty much the only kind I like. If pink vodka sauce turns you on, swell, but like I said in my book, in my opinion, if a color isn’t in the Italian flag, it shouldn’t be on the plate.

This place has two big-screen TVs playing Godfather movies over and over. The music? Sinatra. Louis Prima. Connie Francis. Too funny. And the menu is consistent with my philosophy. It contains helpful little reminders, like, “This ain’t a health food joint.”

I ordered the spaghetti with Sunday gravy, which means tomato sauce. It came with two meatballs the size of a baby’s head, plus sausage, plus ricotta, and I would guess the portion they gave me weighed about three pounds. No exaggeration. I was hoping to try the cheesecake, but the spaghetti did me in. And it cost me $26, so I should have expected no less.

Very comfortable place. I’d go again. But I would order something smaller.

It’s kind of irritating, knowing how to cook. In the old days, I went to restaurants and ate the food and generally figured it was okay. Now I always find something wrong with it, because I’ve had such great luck with my own recipes. I think these guys should consider putting a little butter on the spaghetti. Butter has magical qualities.

If you’re ever in the Gables, you might want to drop by the place, have some food, and watch Fredo get whacked.

Thanks

For the last three weeks or so, I’ve been highly distracted by a personal issue, so blogging and book publicity have suffered. But it looks like that is over with for the moment–probably for good–so hopefully I’ll be able to get back to doing what I enjoy. Thanks for your prayers. Don’t let anyone tell you they don’t work.

You Can Help

If you want to shoot Linda SOG a few bucks to help her pay for her tumor procedure, Sondra can help. Go to Sondra’s site, donate money via her Paypal link, and put “LindaThon” in the subject box.

Sondra promises not to blow it on thongs. Not ALL of it.

More – Obama School Charity Opens

I just checked the URL for Baldi’s nonprofit. She established it to benefit a Kenyan school Barack Obama promised to help but subsequently forgot about. The site is up, and you can see it here.

Give her a Hand

Via Sondra: Linda SOG has been having problems with a benign brain tumor. And you know how medicine is. You go to one doctor, and he tells you one thing, and then you go to another, and he tells you something else. She just found a guy who says he can destroy the tumor, using a gamma knife, without much risk. That’s a considerable improvement over the treatment she was offered by her other physicians.

Linda is requesting prayers, so you know what to do. Here’s a link to an entry she wrote, explaining her situation.

Sondra said something about raising money; Linda is on the hook for part of the cost, because her insurance won’t cover it all. I’ll let you know when I know more.

One more thing. Linda’s dad is a Messianic Jew, and they have had friction because of it. You might pray that they come to a peaceful and fruitful understanding.

Shhh

Moxie is blogging again. Once in a while.

Maybe if you go read, she’ll keep it up.

Boycott Their Stuff ASAP

Referred to me by reader aelfheld, who heard about it from Barb at Quid Nimis:

I Can’t Stop

I appreciate the positive comments on last night’s post regarding the miraculous wart. I only got one negative remark, and it came from someone who seems to think I just became a Christian. Anyone who has been reading this blog for more than two years knows that is not the case. I’ve certainly been making improvements over the last couple of years, but if you were to look at entries from 2003, you would see that I occasionally mentioned my beliefs back then. I’ve written a lot about the stupidity of sex outside of marriage, for example. How anyone who had seen those posts could refer to me now as a “reformed whore” is a mystery.

I’ve gradually come to realize that some of my attitudes were wrong, and that I wasn’t doing enough. I have made some changes. But the change hasn’t been anything like as dramatic as the commenter suggests.

Back when Huffington’s Toast was up, I got friction from guest contributors because I wouldn’t publish R-rated content. I’ve discarded a lot of material I’ve written because I thought it was over the line. I have opted out of romantic opportunities because of religious conflicts. I have turned down offers of promotion. So I may be sticking closer to the path these days, but I was never completely lost, and I never pretended to be part of the non-Christian world, except in jokes.

Am I bumming people out by writing about religion? When I think about it, I remember what it was like to be uncomfortable when people discussed God. But most of the time, I forget, and I write what I please. If it makes you uncomfortable, you have a problem you need to address. Hearing about the best part of life–the reason you exist–shouldn’t make you uncomfortable. Think about that. Are you uncomfortable when people write about other types of self-improvement? Do you get embarrassed when people write about exercise or therapy? Of course not. That ought to make you wonder.

I don’t care. I’ve always written about the things that interest me. This is my personal online journal. If you don’t like it, don’t read it. When has that not been my attitude? I’ll probably write about God less, in time. Or maybe I won’t. Whatever I do, it won’t have anything to do with trying to please readers.

Perhaps I Exaggerate

Somehow or another I ended up searching Google for documented cases of what non-Christians call “faith healing.” And I couldn’t find much. Maybe I shouldn’t have Googled that phrase; almost no one who believes in God uses it.

In any case, I thought it was depressing. The main reason it depressed me is that I saw a number of sites where people claimed alleged healings had been proven false. One example cited involved a man who got on the stage with Kathryn Kuhlman, claimed he had been healed of cancer, and dropped dead a week later.

The sad truth is, televangelists are generally extremely similar to politicians. The truth isn’t in them. If you get on the stage and stand before the cameras and claim you’re healed, that’s good enough for them. They don’t want to be around a month later, because you might still be sick, and that would threaten their income. I don’t know if Kathryn Kuhlman was for real or not. Nothing would surprise me.

Nonetheless, God does heal people. It happened in the Bible, and there is no reason why it shouldn’t happen now. And it makes sense that documentation would be hard to come by. What percentage of people who receive healing would take the time to have it studied and documented? What percentage of doctors would spend their time doing the exams and writing the reports? If you have a bothersome physical problem, and you pray for healing, and you get it, is your first impulse going to be to go to the doctor and pay him a thousand dollars to prove you’re okay? And what if you can’t prove you were sick to begin with? What if you were healed before you were diagnosed? You’d look like an idiot, going to your doctor and claiming to be healed, when he had never witnessed your illness.

Another problem with healings is that sometimes they’re so trivial, it would be embarrassing to talk about them. If God miraculously heals you of a cavity, are you going to run and tell your atheist neighbors? Of course not. They’d laugh you out of the house.

I’ve had a few healings that were clearly miraculous, but they were so minor, no one would be impressed. I can give an example. I had a flat warty thing on my jaw. My dermatologist didn’t care enough about it to suggest removing it, but it annoyed me, and it was getting bigger. I did all the Christian things, praying and claiming healing and taking authority and so on. And it went away immediately. I don’t mean it instantly disappeared, but it began going away immediately, and in a few weeks it was gone. Who wants to hear about a healing like that? It’s a wart. Nobody cares. No one is going to become a Christian because of my wart.

It’s a funny thing, but little skin problems seem particularly easy to heal by faith. I’ve had more than one. Try it yourself. I realize how silly it sounds. But it’s true. It may not boost your faith to the point where you’re ready to quit your job and become a missionary, but it beats paying to have your warts burned off.

It seems like some problems are easier to heal by faith than others. Don’t ask me why.

I had another healing people will find ridiculous. Twenty years ago, I made a decision to find a church, and I very quickly got a cold. But it was no ordinary cold. It refused to go away. It stayed with me for weeks and weeks. I think it was literally the cold from hell.

My head was full of things I had heard from charismatic preachers; I figured that since I had had supernatural experiences, they were telling the truth about theirs, too. You have to marvel at the naivete of youth. One of the things I believed was that you would be healed if you persisted in prayer and faith. So I attacked this cold and refused to give in. I refused to accept it, day after day, week after week. Finally, one day in November of 1987, I went to the fridge and looked in the freezer, and while I was looking, I saw a dark shape fly from me into the freezer and then out and through the slats in the back door, which was nearby. It was just a dark place in the air. I didn’t know what to make of it. And when I walked out of the kitchen, I realized my symptoms were gone. Instantly. And they didn’t come back. Two people witnessed it. I know it sounds crazy and unimpressive, but it happened.

Sorry, it’s not documented. Benny Hinn wasn’t there. No cameras. But I sure felt better.

Over the years, I’ve had all sorts of problems that have gone away without treatment, while I used my faith to fight them. But I can’t prove the healings were miraculous. Sometimes things get better on their own. Of course, sometimes they get a hell of a lot worse, too. I haven’t really needed a doctor since…actually, it’s hard to remember. I went to a doctor for my first kidney stone, and I was very glad to get the painkillers, but when I got my second stone, I got mad at my doctor’s receptionist and decided to stay home, and I was fine. I think the last time I really needed a doctor was when I was in law school. I had two disgusting spider bites full of pus. They probably would have gone away on their own; there was no bacterial infection. But having them lanced made life a lot easier.

Obviously, you should go to a doctor if you need one. But there is no way I’d rely on medical science alone.

God exists, and He works miracles. I’ve seen things stranger than healings, and I’ve had prayer after prayer answered, and there are many other reasons why I believe. He’s there. It’s very sad that greedy preachers discourage people with bogus healings that are later paraded in front of the public by TV journalists, but that doesn’t change the facts. You can be a Christian and go blind. You can be a Christian and die of cancer. But on the whole, your life will be better if you develop and exercise faith, and sometimes, you’ll get some wonderful surprises.

My stories may not be thrilling, but on the other hand, I have absolutely nothing to gain by telling them, so maybe you’ll find them easier to believe than the stuff you see on TV.

Weakest Link in the War on Terror

I have almost finished Brother Andrew’s book, Secret Believers. I would recommend it to any Christian who supports the war on terror.

The book is about Muslims who convert to Christianity in Muslim-dominated countries. They face horrible persecution. In a Muslim country, a Muslim can do just about whatever he wants to a Christian, and the police will either help the Muslim or do nothing. They burn homes, commit murder, kidnap and rape and enslave Christian women, and steal from Christian businesses. No one cares; the only restraint is in the hearts of the Muslim aggressors. They only refrain when they get tired of aggression.

Remarkably, many converts choose to remain in their native countries. They want their compatriots to have what they have, and they risk their lives to offer it. American conservatives often talk about the concept of dhimmitude, in which non-Muslims are tolerated but treated like second-class citizens, with reduced rights and privileges. What most of us don’t realize is that dhimmitude is substantially better than what most Muslim nations provide in practice. Dhimmitude would be an improvement.

The cruelty with which these Christians are treated is amazing. Fathers try to kill their own children. Christians are ruthlessly beaten by their own families. And the change from loved one or friend to enemy takes place instantly. One day you may be a pampered rich Muslim girl with expensive clothing and pricey creature comforts, and the next day you may be a prisoner in your own room, covered with bruises and cuts and aching from broken bones.

And it’s not rare; contrary to what naive leftists tell us, it’s normal in Muslim society. Compassion and understanding are unusual. In fact, many Muslims are afraid to refrain from persecuting Christians.

I saw a video of a convert on the web. He said something strange. He said Muslims were good people, but they had no love in them. Clearly, the comment doesn’t make sense. He was trying to be charitable. How can an entire society be that cold? Is it possible that this religion takes the baseline compassion which is normally present even in atheists, and somehow depresses it?

It looks like we’re right when we say Islam is dangerous and results in horrific suffering. The testimony of converts confirms that. We haven’t slandered anyone by saying Islam is cruel. On the other hand, Secret Believers confirms something else. It confirms that we have to keep trying to reach these people. Many of them are miserable because of their unrewarding, demanding religion, and when they get a glimpse at what Christianity really is, they jump at the chance to convert.

These people are so hard to reach, though. How do you do it without being martyred? It looks like one way God is solving the problem is by direct action. A surprising number of converts say they became Christians because they had visions or dreams of Jesus. If you Google this phenomenon, you’ll find all sorts of unrelated, independent reports of such events. That tells me God can find a way when Man lets him down, but it also tells me we’re not doing our job. If we’re going to drop bombs on these people and depose their leaders and send terrorists to Guantanamo, we should also be working to put them in touch with God. Military action without a corresponding spiritual offensive is immoral.

There are things we can do. Muslims are able to receive Christian broadcasts, and they work. And we can send Bibles overseas, and we can donate money to ministries that reach out to Muslims.

Many converts say the Bible is what got them hooked. One convert in Brother Andrew’s book said he was a member of a fanatical organization called the Muslim Brotherhood, and his leader told him to read the Bible so he could refute it, using the Koran. And he was expected to confirm the 26 (I think) alleged Biblical references to Mohammed. Instead, he found that the references either didn’t exist or applied more naturally to Jesus. He was finally driven over the top by a vision of Jesus, but the Bible is what drove him initially. He ended up working inside his country, helping spread the Gospel. He was eventually kidnapped, tortured, and murdered. That’s how strong his devotion was.

You can’t depend on the stick to do everything. I think that’s the point. Somewhere in the process, you have to offer the carrot. Military action is invaluable, but compared to conversion, it does a poor job of turning enemies into allies. I have to wonder if our Guantanamo results would be better, if we sent missionaries in before resorting to waterboarding. Experience has shown that many Muslim fanatics are fatigued by their faith, and they are surprisingly susceptible to the Gospel.

Maybe the best thing is to ease off on the venom and ridicule and to try to offer encouragement instead. Muslims are fanatical about pride and repaying insults, so we probably aren’t doing ourselves much good by humiliating them. I am going to keep that in mind in the future. It’s unfortunate that it took me so long to come to that conclusion.