My Vote is in the Hands of People who Actually Admire Barack Obama

My ballot is in the mail. I can’t quite believe I voted for Donald Trump. Who’s next? Simon Cowell? John McAfee? Will annoying tycoons be standard fare for future voters?

I suppose they’re no worse than the corrupt, egotistical people who usually run for office.

I voted by mail today. I kind of wonder what will happen to the ballot. The lady who carries my mail is black, and I happen to know her family is not conservative. One of my best friends is her nephew. Maybe I should have put a Hillary sticker on the envelope.

Funny things happen in and around Miami. Democrat operatives walk into black polling places openly and yell at people, pushing them to support Democrats. No one does anything about it, because apparently, acknowledging the very existence of black people is now considered racist.

Now that I think about it, a lot of nutty stuff goes on in black neighborhoods. It’s as if there’s a special exemption from normal behavior.

The friend I mentioned above told me about Martin Luther King Day. Many people in Liberty City and the other black areas look forward to this day, because it’s a day of wild drunkenness, dope-smoking, theft, fornication, and other non-helpful activities.

My friend told me his dad used to have everyone stay home on MLK Day, so they could be there, armed, to protect the house. He also said it’s a day for settling scores. If there’s someone you want to mess up, you wait for MLK Day. I guess the idea is that the cops are so busy on that day, they can’t enforce the law very well.

One other fun MLK Day activity: large groups of people on illegal, unlicensed dirt bikes ride around the streets at high speed, running red lights and causing problems. This is an accepted activity year-round, but on MLK Day, the gangs get bigger and bolder.

In the black areas here, many people ride dirt bikes on the street. An NFL player from the area died on a dirt bike recently. The cops don’t do much about it. The rules are different in some neighborhoods.

Everywhere else, a bike has to have turn signals, a license tag, and headlights. I don’t think 2-cycle motors are allowed on the street; I’m not sure. In Liberty City, you can ride a bike powered by an unshielded nuclear reactor if you can build one.

Very strange. It’s even stranger that no one knows about this stuff. The press never mentions it. It would be racist!

Life is so weird.

You have to wonder what Martin Luther King, Jr. would think. “I got shot in the face so we could do THIS.”

In order for my vote to count, the mail lady has to agree not to throw it out. Then the Post Office people have to agree not to throw it out. Then the people who count the ballots have to choose to record it. Then the people who run the computers have to agree not to hack the system. It’s a wonder any Republican votes are counted. Maybe my 3/5 will be recorded. I hope so.

Anyway, it’s out of my hair.

I keep feeling like Trump is going to win. I feel it when I pray. I certainly hope it’s not my imagination.

I had some help marking my ballot. The ballot always contains a bunch of obscure local crap I don’t care about, so it’s hard to know what to do. I found out The Daily Kos has helpful information. If you go to the site, you will find recommendations for your area. All the nutbars, left wing nuts, potential terrorists, and champions of sexual deviation will be on the list. I took a look and voted against them. Thanks, Kos.

I voted for medical marijuana. Do I think it’s a good idea? I don’t know. Do I think it will be abused. Yes. I know it will be abused. Very heavily. Do I care? No. I’m tired of watching us make drug dealers rich. Let people over the age of 21 smoke anything they want. They can have heroin and bath salts too, for all I care. I would like to see an America where it’s not possible for a moron with gold teeth and a MAC-10 to get rich selling poison. Drug users will use drugs regardless of the law, so let them have at it.

Having dealt with a hopeless addict for a very long time, I have learned that other people’s behavior doesn’t affect addicts much. Keeping drugs away from law-abiding citizens sounds like a great idea, but we’re not trying to get drugs in the first place. Addicts will cause their families to go bankrupt in order to get drugs. They will commit several violent felonies a week to get drugs. They will abandon their children. They will sell everything they have. Obviously, they are willing to go to drug dealers.

Yay, “medical” marijuana. Stoners of the world: enjoy. Come back when you’ve wrecked your lives and want to repent.

The product is not the problem, any more than guns are the problem. You could move me into a house made of heroin with a sinsemilla lawn, and twenty years from now, I would still not be an addict. Other people become heroin addicts–trying heroin for the first time–in federal penitentiaries, where you would expect drugs to be very hard to find. Where there’s a will, there’s a way, and where there’s no will, there’s no problem.

What will happen if Trump wins? Can you imagine the rioting? Maybe this is the day we’ve been buying guns for. Obama ruined race relations and class relations, and he inspired a gun-buying craze that lasted eight years. If Trump wins, some of us may have to use the stuff we bought, in order to avoid being dragged out of our vehicles and homes and being raped and murdered.

On the whole, it would be considerably better than President Hillary. If she wins, she will spend the first four years testifying, committing perjury to avoid incarceration. What a drag that will be. If you think politics is annoying now, wait till we get four years of something that makes the Watergate ordeal look like a weekend at Disney World.

I remember Watergate. It ruined TV. Week after week, the hearings were on. It was very unpleasant. Hillary’s misdeeds are much worse than Nixon’s. His people burglarized a shrink’s office, and then he lied about it. I think they also bugged DNC headquarters. Anyway, it was not a complicated affair. Hillary has a giant cauldron of scandals that will take years to investigate, and unlike Nixon, she will not have the grace to concede. Democrats don’t do that. You have to haul them away in shackles. They keep expecting the press to save them, and it almost always does.

Can’t we just throw a bucket of water on her?

Six days from now, the pain of election anticipation will be gone, and we will be dealing with the new pain of a new administration. If it’s not Hillary and her flying gay and illegal monkeys, it will be Trump and his wake of riots.

Liberals love to say they’ll move to France if a Republican is elected. Sadly, they never follow through. I would like to move if my candidate loses, but I don’t want to go to France. Take me to heaven. You can have my stuff. I am ready to go.

Heaven isn’t very diverse. There are no gays there. Now that I think about it, there are no heterosexuals, either, because there is no sex. There is no Islam. There is no atheism. There are no illegals; if you don’t meet the entry requirements, you go somewhere else. There will be people of all races, but we won’t be at each other’s throats.

Sign me up. I want to be gentrified.

Pray my ballot survives. I give it one chance in three.