The Garage That Goes to Eleven

February 2nd, 2012

Wheels

I’m anxiously awaiting my Ebay NOS refrigerated air dryer. I’ve been trying to figure out how to work it into the decor of the Garage of Blues.

Right now, things are working well. The vertical band saw and drill press form sort of an island in the middle of the garage, the mill is in a corner, the lathe is along a wall, and the table saw is on the other side of the room. The big compressor is between the garage doors. It’s a nice, ergonomic arrangement, but with the arrival of the dryer, things will have to be rearranged.

I have two 240 circuits out there. One is 60 amps. It’s for the table saw, vertical band saw, and both big machine tools. The other is 40 amps. Right now, the air conditioner is the only thing on that circuit. I was thinking of walking the compressor over to the machine side of the room and making a cord and plug for it, so it could go into the table saw socket. But that won’t work, because it has to be able to run at the same time as the plasma cutter, which has to be on the table saw circuit. So it looks like I have to put the compressor on the air conditioner circuit. I still think a socket is a good idea, though. Hardwiring costs you versatility, and I can’t think of any advantages it provides.

I guess I need a new socket on the machine wall, hooked up to the air conditioner line. I’ll have to put my compressor where the rolling tool chest is now. To keep easy access to the tool chest, I’ll have to put it where the drill press is. So the band saw goes where the compressor is now, and the drill press goes to the band saw’s location.

This adds up to a sad conclusion: I need mobile bases. I welded a mobile base together for the band saw, but I stupidly listened to some guy who said it would be a problem if it was too tall, so I fabricated caster mounts that would keep the height down. They work, but they’re flimsy, and the saw is hard to move. I covered the base with truck bed paint, so as far as I know, there is no practical way to clean it off, cut it up, and redo the casters. I don’t want to weld something that has flaming plastic all over it. It’s a big waste of metal, but I don’t know what else to do.

I’m going to have to put a base on the drill press, and I need a better base on the band saw. That will let me move stuff pretty freely, and it will make the garage much more versatile. So it’s time to take a stiff drink, log onto the Grizzly site, and place an order.

I’m not worried about the compressor circuit. I already have unused Romex lying around, plus unused conduit, so all I need are a socket and plug.

I also have to spend some loot on the truck. It looks like it has a camber problem. On a truck like this, you can’t adjust the front end camber using the tools they have at ordinary car shops. You have to find a place that does frame bending and so on. I’ve been getting alignments about every ten minutes, and the truck has been eating tires all the same. The folks at Firestone finally let me know that they couldn’t do anything about it.

There are a couple of shops in town that can do this. They cater to pimps, fake pimps, professional athletes, rappers, and low-riders. Thank God we have so many vain people in Miami. If you want to put 48″ rims on your pink and chartreuse Subaru, these guys will twist the frame and suspension parts to make it happen.

I have no idea how I ended up with a camber problem. The truck was used when I bought it. God only knows what the previous owner did. I’m going to make them check and make sure he didn’t add any stupid parts to the suspension.

I’m kind of disturbed by the amount of cash I’m laying out (the air conditioner also crapped out), but I think God has a purpose in all this. With these little problems, and with other unexpected needs for cash outlay, I think he’s reminding me not to be stingy. Not with others, and not with myself.

I don’t consider myself a fundamentally generous person. I come from stingy mountain people. In Eastern Kentucky, if someone gives a waiter a tip, they expect a free car wash. This is just how it is, and I am not immune to the influence. I try to listen when God tells me to give, but if I hadn’t drawn closer to God, I don’t think I’d be giving anybody much of anything.

Jesus told us we had to love each other. That obligation involves practical help as well as prayer. You have to give other people your time, money, goods, and so on. If God gives you a lot, he expects you to give a lot. And if that seems like a bummer, consider the people he isn’t blessing. They don’t lend or give, but then they don’t receive, either. I always remind myself: B.B. King says you have to pay the cost to be the boss, and it’s true. The people God puts in charge and makes prosperous have to help everyone else. The alternative to being a giver and lender is to be a borrower and charity recipient. It’s clear which is better.

This is a topic you can’t discuss much without inadvertently glorifying yourself, so I’ll leave it at that. I’m not getting into my own experiences. I would advise people not to feel bad when God requires them to give, because it suggests he wants to bless you.

Charismatic churches have turned giving into an onerous obligation, and they claim it’s all about giving to ministries. They occasionally mention the poor, but mainly, it’s, “Give me that thousand-dollar ‘seed gift’ so God can buy me a third 707.” They lie and manipulate to get money, and then they spend it on garbage. They lay guilt trips on their flocks, while they’re spending foolishly and putting churches in debt. I’m all done with that. God talks a lot about helping people in need. The stuff about giving to ministries is pretty sparse, once you get past the business about temple sacrifices (which have never applied to Christians). It’s great to give money to your church, but it should be because the Holy Spirit told you to do it, not because Steve Munsey made up a fundraising fable.

The other day I found out our church spent the cost of a Mercedes on eight annoying lights for the stage. I’m not exaggerating about the price.

There are a lot of things we actually need. We have debt. The person who told me about the lights saw that I was shocked and offended. Then he started to explain that someone high up in the church used to be a lighting guy. I raised my hand and told him to stop. That was all the explanation I needed.

Thank God he wasn’t a hockey player. We might have an ice rink.

These lights are extremely ugly, and they shine bright beams directly into the eyes of the congregation. Somehow Billy Graham got along without them. If the church was turned over to me tomorrow morning, they’d be on Craigslist before lunch. I don’t get it. We have a mortgage to pay off. I don’t think the Holy Spirit needs those lights. It’s not like he’s trying to land on an aircraft carrier at night.

I have learned not to give anything to the church–nothing beyond tithing–unless the Holy Spirit sends me orders on engraved stationery. I have to be a good steward, and I’m tired of seeing things rot and go to waste. Giving to other people is way more important, and it does much more good.

I’m also learning that financial foolishness is normal for churches. The people who run churches are like government workers; they don’t have real jobs. They don’t have to produce a service or produce and make a profit. They ask for money. They receive it. They spend it, either stupidly or wisely. Then they ask for more. If they waste money, it doesn’t affect their pay, unless the congregation knows about it. Charismatic churches tend to have zero accountability to their flocks, so people have no idea where the money goes, so they aren’t likely to complain. This must be the reason why churches are so corrupt and mismanaged.

Here’s a story I heard from a musician. He went to a church near me. Not my church. He was poor. A paying job came up. He told the church people he had to take the job. They berated him and tried to make him feel guilty. They said he had to play at a service instead. Remember now, as a tither, he pays their salaries, and they’re telling him not to work!

When the service rolled around, it turned out it didn’t conflict with his job. He also found out they knew it would not conflict when they were tormenting him.

The church had a singer who was working on their lights. He wanted to sing, he was talented…they had him doing lights. Typical. The church folks told him they wanted to give him a high-paying job as a singer. The condition was that he throw my musician friend out of the band. Nice. He refused, probably because he had some inkling of what the Lord would want him to do.

If you’re a Christian who works or volunteers in a church, stories like this will come to you, and you will learn that well-run churches are either nonexistent or very rare.

The problem is that people in leadership have no faith in God. You’re supposed to do what God tells you to do, regardless of whether it seems logical, and then you wait for God to bless you. We should be talking about the Holy Spirit and living in his power. We should be letting God draw people and money to churches. Instead, we rely on gimmicks and manipulation. Obviously, we don’t really believe God will back us up. We feel we have to “help” him. So the flesh takes over. Then you end up with eight lights that cost as much as a condominium.

There’s a positive side to knowing that churches are run badly. We’re taught that “church” doesn’t mean a building. It means the people who gather there. We should take that seriously. We should also remember that it doesn’t mean the people who are in charge. They’re just part of the whole. God is not a respecter of persons, even if most churches forget that. We use the word “VIP” in my church, and that’s really discouraging, because it shows our priorities are not in line with God’s.

My current take on all this is that as long as I’m doing good in my church, and I’m meeting and interacting with good Christians, the church is serving its purpose. The other stuff–what goes on in the offices and on the stage–may or may not be of God, and it may have very little to do with what God sees as the church’s purpose. The things sincere people do, under the radar, far from the stage, may be the primary functions of the church.

Oddly, I have become much more content with my church. If a worldly motivational speaker shows up hocking DVDs and pretending to be a guest pastor, I’ll just ignore him and wait for him to shut up and leave. If Steve Munsey comes in and claims all the Jews went to Jerusalem on Yom Kippur, I’ll smile and do my job, even though I know he’s wrong. I’ve met wonderful people. I’ve learned great things. Powerful things. I’ve gotten closer to God. Sometimes the people on the stage have helped. Much of the time, they have not, and I’ve moved forward because of someone else. That’s good enough. It doesn’t really matter where the growth comes from.

I still can’t believe I need new mobile bases.

2 Responses to “The Garage That Goes to Eleven”

  1. Ed Bonderenka Says:

    ” and you will learn that well-run churches are either nonexistent or very rare.”
    When someone tells me they don’t want to be involved in organized religion, I invite them to my church.
    We define un-organized religion.

  2. Pete Says:

    “Financial responsibility in churches” ?

    Back in about 1955, the church my family attended had an “emergency fund raising” because – OMG – the church was going to be IN THE RED for the fiscal year.

    I happened to hear the pastor discussing the budget, and I (nasty kid that I was) noticed that at the end of the previous fiscal, there had been a surplus of $15,000. However, in the current year, the church had contracted to put an elevator in the rectory (a two-story building) for a cost of $40,000… and they were howling for donations to cover the $25,000 projected deficit.

    We in the school were told to ask our parents to kick in, and I made the mistake of saying to the priest “My allowance is a dollar a week. I don’t spend five dollars and then go to my folks for more. How come the parish doesn’t do the same?”

    Needless to say, that got me on the semi-permanent fecal roster for the rest of the term. I think the priest said something like “you just don’t understand”. Yeah, right.