Global Warming Apparently Comes in Spurts
WE’RE HAVING A HEAT WAVE! IT’S 58 DEGREES OUTSIDE! LET’S ALL GO SKINNY-DIPPING! FINALLY THE AGONY IS OVER! IT’S GOING TO BE 74 DEGREES TODAY! AND THEN TOMORROW NIGHT, IT’S GOING TO BE A WARM AND TOASTY 34!
Thirty-FOUR? FAHRENHEIT? Did I wake up in Minnesota?
I have to check Weather Underground again. This can’t be right.
It is right! And we’re going to have an eighty-percent chance of precipitation! I’M BUYING A SLED!
I guess Al Gore doesn’t have to worry about being tarred and feathered while it’s too cold to pour the tar.
I can’t recall a single winter when we had weather like this. It sounds like it’s going to be snowing in Orlando. I am so tired of wearing long pants and real shoes INDOORS because the central air can’t cope with anything lower than fifty-five degrees.
Maybe this would be a good day to get another space heater. Surely Home Depot has restocked after the initial terror.
Will this kill any of the bugs or animals that have been driving us nuts? It’s too late to help the citrus.
Thank God I’m getting over this disease. I am desperate to attend my weekly prayer group again. Tomorrow I’ll put on my liberal-mortifying George Bush Carhartt chore coat and drive up to Denny’s to see the other guys.
Oh, man. I have like thirty grapefruit ripening. I may have to freeze ten gallons of juice. My bananas! I have to pick the bananas!
At least we’re having a real winter. It’s kind of a bummer when you go a whole winter with no good sleep weather.
I’ll enjoy this warm and muggy day while it lasts.Stumble it! Save This Page