Wimps are Healthier
February 28th, 2009Best Shop Safety Device: a Macho Man Who Will Take Stupid Risks For You
I got a very weird email this week. A reporter from The New Republic wanted to interview me about Pajamas Media. The temptation was fairly potent. Think about it. The PJs reviled me in a forum to which no one pays attention. The interview would give me a chance to respond before a different and more respectable audience.
But I turned it down. Some of the mean things I have said about PJM still make me cackle helplessly, but like I said in my response to the reporter, picking on the PJs is a vice. It would be fun telling him what I thought about a group of college graduates thinking they could make money selling something which a) nobody wants, and b) is already available for nothing. And I could once again compare Simon and Reynolds to the Thunderdome characters “Master-Blaster.” But what little conscience I have would plague me.
I am trying to be a nicer person these days. Really.
I told the reporter he needed to talk to Moxie and Dennis, neither of whom is currently trying to be nicer. So clearly I’m not cured yet.
I think they will give him material that is way more entertaining than anything I would be willing to say.
In other news, I have had a problem which will amuse all of you. I joke all the time about being addicted to tools, but over the last couple of weeks, I have been seriously concerned. I would get up, write a blog post, shop for machine tools, work with tools, do my regular daily stuff, write another blog post, and shop for machine tools again.
It interfered with my early morning prayer time. It distracted me from more important things. So I have been trying to get a handle on it. I’m shutting the PC down earlier now. Hopefully I won’t need an intervention.
I am part of the group of Christians who think that anything that is too important to you is equivalent to an idol. An idol doesn’t have to be an object carved in the shape of a God. It can be a job, a car, a woman…you can even be your own idol. And if you miss your daily Bible study because you’re busy Ebaying tools you will never buy, you are over the line.
I feel a whole lot better now that I’m getting back on track. I missed God.
I’m not totally free; let’s be serious. A neighbor has two juicy mahogany logs in his or her trash, and I plan to make a rescue mission later today. But I think my priorities are a little more balanced.
This trash-wood business has me interested in woodturning. That means buying a wood lathe, right? Not really. You can turn wood on a metal lathe, if you rig it up so wood won’t get into the machinery. Lots of people do it. I would be limited to about a 12″ swing, but I don’t plan to turn manhole covers, so I don’t care. I don’t know what a reasonable swing for a wood lathe is. Lots of people like the Jet 1220VS, which has a 12″ swing.
I used to think turning was sort of silly. You plop a chunk of wood on the lathe, you spin it, a bowl comes off, and you put it on Ebay, where it brings 79¢ (because your mom feels sorry for you and bids on it under a friend’s account). Ho hum. But some people do very creative work, and you can turn wood that is worthless for other purposes. I’ve seen at least one beautiful item made from poinciana wood. Which is not rare in Miami trash piles.
I have learned that there is such a thing as a bandsaw blade made especially for cutting green wood. I suppose I need one. My 3/4″ blade is pretty gummed up right now.
Today I had an idea for an invention. It’s not really useful, but I still think it would be great to make it. I’ll explain.
Lifting things is bad. It’s stupid. You can ruin your back lifting something as small as a typewriter (remember those?). But we have no answer to the lifting problem. We have those stupid belts they wear at Home Depot, but research suggests they don’t actually work. What’s the answer?
Clearly, we need mini-forklifts. We have big forklifts for huge things, and we have somewhat smaller lifting devices for things that are still pretty big, but what if you want to lift something that weighs 50 pounds? Go pack sand. Nobody in industry takes you seriously. But it’s a very legitimate need. I have a dry cut saw that weighs maybe 65 pounds. I have a planer that weighs nearly a hundred. I don’t want to lift these things from the garage floor to a shelf, over and over. They’re small, but they’re definitely big enough to be risky to lift. I’ve been lifting wet mahogany logs to the bandsaw table because I had no choice, and one of them probably weighed a hundred pounds. It’s a bad habit to get into.
If you go to sites like Northern Tool, you’ll see there are things called Genies which are small-footprint, hand-powered lifts. They lift up to 500 pounds. Swell. But they cost $500, and they take up an area about two feet by twenty inches. For a guy with a few tools and other items that need to be moved around in a garage, this would be overkill. You would have to have a fairly big garage in order to have room to use this thing, and would you really want to use it for something like a miter saw? It’s too inconvenient. You’d grab the saw and take your chances.
I think it would be neat to make a lift with a 250-pound capacity that would lift things five feet off the ground. You could have forks 12″ apart, and you could make them 18″ long. If you need more area, slap a piece of plywood on it, with bolts that go through the forks. No, forget bolts. Use pins that pop in and out. It would take up about as much room as a handtruck, and it would be so light you would actually use it. You wouldn’t even need decent steel. You could weld it up using galvanized fence posts.
A lot of men are ashamed to ask for help lifting things. They are utter morons. Those are the guys who end up moaning about how they can’t leave the couch. The last time I had to lift one of the props from my dad’s boat, I told another guy to take one end. He was a steroid-enhanced bodybuilder who was not overly burdened with genius. He was clearly contemptuous as he grabbed the 80-pound, awkwardly-balanced prop and carried it by himself. Me? I was delighted. I can carry an 80-pound prop. But I’m smart enough not to. When I’m 70 and he’s 55, I’ll be able to kick his ass. He’ll be a cripple.
There is nothing macho about ruptured disks or having to ask your wife to carry your laptop case. Life is not a weightlifting competition, and lifting stuff does not impress people. No one cares about your mighty feats of strength. Women do not find them sexy, and men do not find them intimidating. Sorry to break the news.
It would be even more fun if I could put a motor on the lift, to shoot things up and down and make a crank unnecessary. That would be the difference between a usable lift and a dust collector. You shouldn’t need a whole lot of torque, so it should be possible to make the lift work pretty fast. Maybe a motorcycle gel battery would work.
Maybe I’ll try to make something once my other projects are not so backed up.
February 28th, 2009 at 12:19 PM
They make them. Their called warehouse lifts, and they come in all sorts of shapes and sizes.
Also, I don’t think you’re tool addicted. I think you need a mood controller.
I’ve seen too many people go through what you’re going through not to recognize it (describing anyway, perhaps you’re descriptions are incomplete or inaccurate).
I realize you don’t put great store in psychology, nor for the most part should you; but if you look at yourself over the past few years, you will see you are conforming very closely to a pattern.
Generally that pattern ends up in broad swings from productive to destructive behavior; and seemingly addictive behavior. You work up into a heavy concentration of swings, then burn out and “flatten our” for a while, then the swings start up again.
Some don’t handle it at all; just taking it for what it is and riding through it. That’s fine, so long as you are aware of it, and what it is doing to you, and what you are doing in response.
Some people handle it through prayer, or mediation, or self discipline. That works too; but most find it too difficult.
Others handle it through medication. That seems to work best; though it mutes the extreme ends of the swings, which is both less fun and less productive; as well as less destructive.
I don’t mean to suggest that this is manic depression, or anything like it; only that it is a clear pattern over the past few years, for anyone who is looking from the outside.
Sometimes that can be harder to see from inside the loop so to speak.
February 28th, 2009 at 12:34 PM
If you can find such a lift, of the size I describe, for under $500, I would love to see it.
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As for being crazy, by my family’s standards, I got off easy, and while I get a little manic, I never have “mood swings” in the meaningful sense of the term.
February 28th, 2009 at 1:17 PM
Women do appreciate greater height (reaching things on high shelves for them) and strength (carrying heavy things for them) in men. Not per se appreciation, but purely pragmatic.
February 28th, 2009 at 1:18 PM
Die cart
http://cgi.ebay.com/CABLE-DIE-CART-LIFT-DIE-CART-24-X-24-TABLE-750-LB-LIFT_W0QQitemZ370163338241QQcmdZViewItemQQptZLH_DefaultDomain_0?hash=item370163338241&_trksid=p3286.c0.m14&_trkparms=72%3A1205%7C66%3A2%7C65%3A12%7C39%3A1%7C240%3A1318%7C301%3A1%7C293%3A1%7C294%3A50
Largo, Florida.
February 28th, 2009 at 1:34 PM
Boy do I know all about getting obsessed with stupid things until they take over my life. That’s why I don’t watch scifi tv anymore — well, not like I used to. I think it was the X-Files that broke me of that habit. There’s nothing like being betrayed by a tv series; you expect every season that all the tantalizing questions from the previous year will be answered — who are the aliens? are they good, evil, both? what does the black oil mean? are Scully and Mulder “doing it” for reals? Then you realize that the writers are just making up crap in between bong hits to keep the series going so they can pay for the new boat and the summer house in Baja. F**k you Chris Carter.
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Sorry, rant over.
Anyway. There’s nothing wrong with rescuing logs from the trash to make nice things out of. It’s if you just keep buying tools and never use them, and then one day have all these tools covered in dust because you’ve moved on to some new thing, that might be the problem. As for the mini-forklift, I’d sure like one if it could be compact enough to fold up and stow away in the closet. I’ve got one of those rolling luggage-moving things that has saved my life many times. I can stack boxes on it, or my laundry bag, and roll them to their destination and I don’t pull my arms out of my sockets. The lifting thing is a problem — I don’t have the strongest back in the world, and in fact I’m starting to have problems.
Other back saving things I’d like in my life: wall ovens — bending over to open that heavy oven door and pull out whatever is inside has probably caused as many back problems as lifting things. That’s just clumsy, bad design and I can’t understand why it’s still in use. When I was a kid my father moved us to a trailer, which sucked, except for the kitchen which was great, because it had a gas stove and an electric range right over the stove that was so much easier to deal with than the bend over and strain kind. I think everything should be shoulder-to-waist height in the kitchen, refrigerators, dishwashers (it’s such a strain bending over those as well), everything. We spent all those eons evolving into creatures that walk upright — why do we insist upon spending so much time bending over?
February 28th, 2009 at 1:44 PM
Still too heavy!
February 28th, 2009 at 1:51 PM
My first thought for such a thing would be a dolly cart (like what they used to wheel Hannibal Lechter around) with a jack screw welded in so the load could go all the way to the top.
I’d use a small geared 12 volt motor to turn the jack screw hooked up to a battery scavenged from a computer back up power supply (10 bucks at Re-PC in Seattle) or just a motorcycle battery. Heck, I could probably find all the parts at a few various salvage yards around here in a weekend.
Hmm…very interesting concept.
February 28th, 2009 at 3:11 PM
Steve, you;re right, the smallest I can find are 500lb capacity.
they are all basically similar to this:
http://www.prestolifts.com/page114.html
Technically, it shouldn’t be hard to build one. Just make sure you get your angles right for counterbalance, and weld properly.
February 28th, 2009 at 4:06 PM
Okay, so you found a model suitable for lowering me onto the toilet.
February 28th, 2009 at 5:01 PM
” I think everything should be shoulder-to-waist height in the kitchen, refrigerators, dishwashers (it’s such a strain bending over those as well), everything. We spent all those eons evolving into creatures that walk upright — why do we insist upon spending so much time bending over?”
In this case, it’d mean your kitchen was twice as large (in square footage) when you factor in the shelves and such.
I’d still like to do that if I ever custom-design and build a house.
February 28th, 2009 at 6:22 PM
I was wondering what to do with all the space below waist level. Perhaps the refrigerator could be an open-at-the-top deal, like they have in stores, so at least you’d have something to lean on (the side). Then again, refrigerators aren’t really the problem — ovens and dishwashers are. They do make dishwashers that open at the top or like drawers now. But they aren’t standard.
That being said, I’m a single person so I don’t really need a dishwasher. I usually just use mine as a drainer basket most of the time anyway. But I still have to open that door and bend down. What can I say — my back has been bothering me lately.
February 28th, 2009 at 8:55 PM
Don’t mess with a woodlathe with a 12″ swing. TRUST ME on this. 16″ minimum, even more is better. And you want the heaviest hunk o’ iron you can find. If it weighs 800 pounds, that’s a good start. Then add sandbags for ballast. The exception to this is the Oneway lathe, and similar designs with a tubular body that resist torsional forces. Good luck finding a used Oneway though. People that have ’em tend not to want to part with them, and if they do, there’s already a line of people waiting to buy it. Best bet for a used machine is prolly an old patternmakers lathe. There are many good options in new machines.
March 1st, 2009 at 5:05 AM
A 12″ swing over the bed ought to be plenty, unless you’re going to be turning washtubs and lampshades. I like at least 36″ between centers – for table legs and whatnot.
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I can’t help with the lifting ideas. All I know is, I can’t do any lifting more than about 25 pounds anymore. Which is kind of a nuisance, really, since my planer is currently sitting on the garage floor. Not that I could use it, anyway, but it would be nice to have the option again some day.
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Fortunately, I have a neighbor who is both young and helpful with such things… which will come in handy when I want to get my 300-pound lathe onto a mobile base.
March 1st, 2009 at 10:26 AM
Sorry for my part (on the mill comments), if it got in the way of your relationship with God.
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I like enabling, but not at that cost…
March 1st, 2009 at 10:29 AM
It was a hundred percent your fault. But don’t feel bad about it.
March 1st, 2009 at 1:43 PM
You can get the 750 lb one and use it to unload your lathe from a truck, and then cut a couple of the wires on the lifting cable, thus making it a 250 lb lift.
March 1st, 2009 at 4:27 PM
A hydraulic hand pump costs around 200.00 hooked up to a 50.00 dollar hydraulic ram mounted on a frame on heavy casters.
Or buy one already made for just over 300.00. http://www.amazon.com/dp/B000RO7PW0?smid=A1UD401OI7S4U&tag=nextag-tools-tier3-delta-20&linkCode=asn
Thought I was going to say Bobcat again huh?