Use Your Enemies as Diagnostic Tools

I feel I should continue writing about the weird conversation I had with my aunt yesterday. In the past, she tried to get my approval and validation, but yesterday, she let her true thoughts and feelings come out.

She said extremely strange things. She accused me of bothering her about our mutual financial interests because I was poor and irresponsible and needed money right away. Then she suggested I was bragging about being rich. She said she had grandchildren while I had nothing except a “sorry dog.” She theorized that I had run off to Egypt to see if I could get a wife to come home with me. She didn’t explain why she picked Egypt.

The things she said contradicted each other and had no basis in fact. She made things up on the fly; a stream of hopeful delusions. I guess the demons were tossing out bait, hoping I would bite on something. Her tone of voice was venomous. The only other person who speaks to me that way is my estranged sister, and I am the one who estranged her.

I told my wife all about it today. Her attitude is the same as mine. She believes that if demonized people hate you, it means you’re doing something right.

It made me think of Rabshakeh.

During the time of Hezekiah, Jerusalem was besieged by Sennacherib, the king of Assyria. Sennacherib sent Rabshakeh, or, more accurately, the rabshakeh, to discuss terms. “Rabshakeh” is a title, not a name. This is not obvious in the KJV text. The rabshakeh was a messenger.

Hezekiah was a pretty good king, and he had done good things. He destroyed worship sites belonging to other religions, and in the Bible, that always brought Judah and Israel favor. He hoped God would deliver him from the Assyrians. The rabshakeh said this:

Beware lest Hezekiah persuade you, saying, the Lord will deliver us. Hath any of the gods of the nations delivered his land out of the hand of the king of Assyria?

Where are the gods of Hamath and Arphad? where are the gods of Sepharvaim? and have they delivered Samaria out of my hand?

Who are they among all the gods of these lands, that have delivered their land out of my hand, that the Lord should deliver Jerusalem out of my hand?

This was a bad move on the rabshakeh’s part.

Hezekiah also received a letter full of similar nonsense. He took it to the temple and spread it out before the Lord, and he called on the Lord to rise up and punish the Assyrians for insulting Him. Instead of asking God to intervene for Judah’s sake, he asked him to defend his own name.

An angel came in the night and killed 185,000 Assyrian troops, and back in Assyria, Sennacherib’s sons eventually murdered him.

Yesterday, Satan used my aunt as his rabshakeh. The defeated, powerless spirits that work for him used her to express contempt for my beliefs, suggesting she doesn’t think God gives me an enviable life like hers (!), and they also used her to revile me and make nutty accusations.

I have talked to my aunt about God a lot, hoping to help her get some of the blessings I have gotten. She has generally pretended to be more or less in agreement. She wants to be perceived as a serious Christian. She has never told me my doctrine was stupid or wrong. She is a Catholic, however. She converted in her old age. She doesn’t know anything about the Holy Spirit. I have never been able to interest her in correct doctrine or a real meeting with God.

The cult of Catholicism is a problem among women in my family. Even my mother was drawn to it. Catholicism has a strong worldly appeal.

Catholics like to claim they have the only “official” church, and they impugn other churches and say people who are not Catholics go to hell. It gives the impression of offering security, and women crave security.

Catholicism is full of pageantry and performance, and women are drawn to those things. Catholicism also takes responsibility off people, and women like handing their responsibilities off to others. They do it to their husbands all the time. Catholicism says, “Do what you want all week, come in and take communion, and we will work things out with God.”

My aunt would tell you she is a Christian, but the marks aren’t there. There is no ministry in her life. She has a worshipful attitude toward famous people, which no Christian who knows God has. Respecting persons is forbidden to us. She is emotional and biased. She is quick to anger. She loves admiration.

The impression I have is that she thinks my doctrine is ridiculous, even though she has pretended to take me seriously. I think she looks down on people like me.

This may be because her grandmother was a charismatic. Her dad’s mother was a widow, and she got caught up in the charismatic revival in Appalachia during the last century. She used to go to town and hand out tracts. My mother said she would go off by herself to pray, and when she returned, her face glowed. People accused her of going behind her house to pray, returning, and saying she had been to Jerusalem. Probably not true, but it shows how they saw charismatics.

In Kentucky, charismatics are known as “holy rollers.” This term refers to rolling in the floor. Charismatics are known to fall down and lie on the floor when they are under the influence of the Holy Spirit, or when they just want people to think they are.

Holy rollers are seen as ignorant and backward.

My great grandmother was respected for some things, but she was also ridiculed. Maybe my aunt turned to the pope in order to distance herself from the odor of the religion of hillbillies.

It’s strange. On one hand, she promotes the untenable and absurd notion that Eastern Kentucky is full of unsung geniuses, and she is furious at me because she thinks I’m ashamed of the area. On the other, she seeks validation from city people and people who have left, so she must be ashamed, too. I guess she is seeking validation from the Catholic church. “I live here, but I know better than these people.”

Her attitude reminds me of the rabshakeh. She seems to be reproaching God by wronging me and claiming God, as I worship him, is a useless and embarrassing fantasy.

My aunt has Parkinson’s. She has a hard time talking. She has dementia and makes involuntary movements. Her 89-year-old husband, who is somewhat senile, has to take care of her. They both have serious medical problems, and she has been incapacitated and hospitalized at least once. Her relationships with her sister, son, and nephews are a mess. Her relatives have no respect for her. Her son’s life is a wreck that embarrasses her.

I’m in good health. I have no prescriptions. I’m very strong for my age. Yesterday, I got off a plane after 30 or so hours of hard travel without sleep, and I carried and dragged two heavy bags all over the Orlando airport with a bounce in my step, looking for a shuttle. I enjoyed the excercise. I walked fast to dissipate the excess energy.

I should have been on my back on a public bench, trying to sleep before daring to drive home.

My wife is a jewel. I live in a wonderful place. I don’t have to work. I have fantastic friends. There is ministry in my life. I have a daily prayer partner. I get miracle healings. God speaks to me and tells me helpful things that change my life. My wife has prophetic visions, and she has seen Jesus, who has also visited me. We have no major problems. We have some issues with relatives, but nothing like what my aunt goes through every day. Things keep getting better for us.

I am a bad person, and there are many people out there doing Christianity much better, but it’s very obvious that my wife and I are basically on the right course. It is strange that someone who is as miserable as my aunt would dismiss me as a failed eccentric who is out of God’s favor, or that she would see herself as someone who has found the correct path. A good relationship with God shouldn’t lead you to dementia, disability, and constant turmoil.

If the pope is right, why is it people who follow him get such poor results and people like me get such good ones? I’ve never known a single Catholic who reported a healing, but I’ve seen plenty of Christians healed.

As for my aunt, I can understand how a person with a good life might feel entitled to dismiss someone else’s beliefs and provide correction, but why would someone who is unhappy, burdened with terrible problems, and deprived of good relationships feel that way?

It makes me think of those silly emails I used to get, recommending Oprah Winfrey’s dieting secrets. Whenever I think of bad advice from bad sources, I think of those. If Naomi Campbell has some dieting advice, I’ll listen, but I’m not taking any from Oprah.

I was on my last flight yesterday, and I thought I felt someone touch my right knee. I looked, and no one was there. I started to feel warmth going through both knees. I started thanking God. About a decade ago, I had a couple of spontaneous healing episodes in church. I felt pulsating warmth around both knees, and God took away some soreness problems I was having. On the plane yesterday, I thought I might be experiencing the same thing again, so I jumped on the chance and gave thanks profusely to maximize the benefits. Today my knees feel great.

I would like to see my aunt have experiences like that instead of struggling to talk and relying on other people to move her around. But how can she receive anything from God when she can’t take advice?

I got a lot of revelation about humility on the plane. God started lecturing me about looking down on people for certain reasons. He showed me there were areas where I was being a snob. It was very generous of him. God will never stop teaching you valuable things if you listen. When you stop listening, he stops talking, and then you have to rely on your little monkey brain, which is mainly good for getting you in trouble.

If I listen to him about humility, he will teach me about other things, and my life will never stop improving.

I was prophesying today, and I heard myself say not to strive with my relatives and that God would give my wife and me abundance for whatever they took from us. I don’t think the words came from my imagination. I intend to play things that way, so I suppose we will find out.

It doesn’t matter. God keeps taking great care of us.

You should be very happy when demonized people vomit their venom at you. It’s a tremendous honor, and it shows the demons are afraid of you. It shows you’re better off than the people who try to rattle you. I was thinking about it in the kitchen this morning, and for a minute, I actually felt like dancing. I am not a dance-prone person. Much the opposite. I surprised myself.