BBQ Tactics
October 27th, 2020Jim Beam and Corn Starch Trial #1
Our nation is hurtling downward toward chaos, BLM is trying to kill cops in Philadelphia, Christians are predicting a 2020 rapture, and what am I doing? I’m smoking ribs.
I’ve been eating cheeseburgers for lunch. There is nothing wrong with that, but I don’t want to eat a big cheeseburger every day from now on. When I got my new smoker, one of my hopes was that I would be able to increase my protein and fat consumption in style, while–I told myself–reducing refined carbs. Ribs and many other smoked meats aren’t served with buns.
I’m going to try to smoke once a week. That will cover me for three dinners.
Yesterday, I went to Walmart to buy motor oil. You should know about Walmart’s oil prices. Advance Auto Parts had a sale on oil, and it would have cost me about $40 to do one change, with a dubious filter included. I bought 6 quarts of synthetic oil at Walmart yesterday for about $16, and I bought a Fram Titanium filter at Advance. My total cost will be around $28. Not bad.
Anyway, Walmart’s price for St. Louis ribs was pretty good, so I picked some up. They’re smoking right now.
I wanted to marinate them, but I don’t like wasting marinade. I like to use liquor, so a pint costs a lot. Today I tried a new strategy.
Ribs come in shrink wrap. I have giant cattle hypodermics. I made a mixture of Jim Beam, sugar, and salt, and I shot it into the rib package through a tiny hole. I tried to cover the hole with tape, but it wouldn’t stick. I should have tried a waterproof bandage. Anyhow, it was not a problem. The plastic confined the marinade close to the ribs, and none spilled. I was able to rotate the package and distribute the marinade, and I put the package on the counter, meat side down, for half an hour.
It worked really well.
I used around half a cup of liquor. I can’t think of a better use for it. I wish it wasn’t a brand promoted by Mila Kunis, a well-known proponent of the murder of unborn babies, but it will do the job.
Last year, Jim Beam (part of a Japanese company) suffered a huge warehouse fire and lost 45,000 barrels of liquor. They told the press the lost whiskey was “young.” Eerie.
Smoking meat with a rub is not hard at all. I make my rub, put the meat on a towel, apply the rub, put the meat in the smoker, shake the towel out in the yard, and put the towel in the laundry. No mess to speak of.
As for my carb intentions, things are not going as well. The other day, I was starving after a long fabricating session, and I decided to throw some old stuff together and make macaroni and cheese. I got to thinking about it, and I wondered if putting flour in the sauce was a good idea. Flour doesn’t convert completely into a gel. Even in gravy or a roux, it’s slightly gritty. It occurred to me that starch might work better.
I Googled around, and sure enough, people do use starch. I’m going to try it today. I’m also going to use a block of cheese instead of shredded, because shredded cheese has tiny cellulose fibers in it.
The trick to making ribs part of a healthy diet is to stop thinking of them as special-occasion food. Ordinarily, when I eat ribs, it’s a big deal, so I want Texas toast, beans, mac and cheese, and dessert. The key is to think of ribs as just another protein.
Clearly, I have not met that goal yet.
The Smokin-It smoker is a joy to use. Highly recommended.
October 27th, 2020 at 10:05 PM
Steve, you can go to your local ABC store, and replace the Jim Beam with the lesser-known and lower priced Tom Sims Bourbon.
Here in the Galveston market, I can only get the Aged 4 Years variety, but there in Florida, you get the rich, lovely Aged 6 Years version.
Flavor profile very much in the Jim Beam lane, but easily twice as, and likely three times as smooth. NOT kidding.
And let’s not forget that lower price, too. Oh. And not supporting lefties. There’s that, and it’s not nuthin’.
Changing pages, I was up in Corsicana, TX from Wednesday through Sunday, as Staff with the Ace of Spades 5th Annual TxMoMeet. Working with an “F-Class” rifle competition World Champion, we built a rifle range with targets at 100, 200, 300 and 500 yards. And planted a shooting bench with posts three feet down into the rich Texas earth. Plus a flatbed trailer along the firing line, for an elevated prone platform. With a pop-up shade for me, where I set up a Gunsmithing table to take people’s rigs and remount their scopes to get right what was set wrong.
A whole lot of shooters got to try their hand at long range, and with that expert coaching, several women who had never so much as touched a rifle before, were ringing 10″ steel at 500 yards.
Plus, on the other side of the Ranch House, a four-lane pistol bay, with Dot Torture and Mozambique drills on the menu.
The Ranch owners are quite generous and welcoming with their 1,200 acres.
Saturday night? Three pigs out of the Caja China, and tables groaning with every possible kind of food and side to accompany such a feast. Whole lotta perfectly cooked Texas brisket, too.
‘Bout 80 some-odd folks, solid Trumpian turnout, all.
The area around Corsicana is about 250:1 Trump vs. Biden signs. That is NOT an exaggeration.
It was a very good week. I think, even for a not specifically Christian gathering, you would have enjoyed it, all the same. A LOT of Christianity there, a lot of not, also. But all within the bounds of proper conduct, decency, manners and regard.
Think of it as a 1950s kind of Americana on the half-shell, and you wouldn’t be far wrong.
The Patriotism was off the charts.
I’m raising a Texan’s toast to my Florida friend and fellow Patriot.
Here’s to your ever blessing and success, until we’re called.
Cheers!
Jim
Sunk New Dawn
Galveston, TX
October 29th, 2020 at 4:08 PM
I bought a smokin’ it quite a while ago. I love it. It is so convenient. I’ve used stickburners for years, with this, you get nearly the same quality, for 10% of the work. No fire to tend, and the amount of wood you use is miniscule.
Congrats on your purchase, you will definitely enjoy it.
Mike