Scads of Scats

I needed a new gun. Do I even have to say it? I needed it for sending wounded squirrels to Happy Land, somewhere near the base of the Big Rock Candy Mountain, where they can spend eternity partying with the other bums. This is my rationale. Don’t question it.

In all seriousness, I feel bad about one of the squirrels I shot. He came down wounded, and I didn’t finish him as soon as I should have. I’ve already written about it, but I didn’t tell the whole story. At first, I thought he was kicking his last, so I didn’t think to shoot him a second time. Then I realized he was still alive, and one reason I didn’t kill him immediately is that he was scrambling around and making it hard to get at him. I also hesitated partly because I wanted his buddy to come out. I should not have done that. I don’t like thinking about it. After that, I resolved to always do the right thing as quickly as possible.

Back to frivolity. I’ve been dying to get a generation 2 Colt Woodsman. My grandfather and I used to shoot a gen 3. I have a feeling one of my relatives is sitting on it. The guns were supposed to be inventoried and offered to us so we could decide who got what, but the Woodsman disappeared. I don’t know what happened to his .357 pistols, either. Anyway, all I have is the Woodsman manual and some memories.

Maybe someone got mad because my grandmother gave my dad my grandfather’s Sweet Sixteen. That wouldn’t make sense, though. The other guns were distributed after both of my grandparents were dead, so everyone had a right to bid. The shotgun was given away while she was alive, so nobody can say they were entitled to a shot at it. People are allowed to give things away while they’re alive, without compensating other possible heirs. My dad bought my sister a house without compensating me, and I told him it was fine with me.

I thought I might get a Woodsman and carry it when hunting, but I also want a .22 for target practice, and the idea of wearing out a nice old gun on targets is a bit nauseating.

Again, do not question the rationale.

The other day I started practicing with a .45, and I did not do well, so I knew (or rationalized) that it was time to start working again. I visited Gander Outdoors, and they had the Smith & Wesson Victory .22 on sale for the deplorable price of $329, down from $369.

What? Are you kidding me? A whole pistol for $329? You think I’m not buying that? Are you smoking weed soaked in Fentanyl?

As an attorney, I feel that this constitutes entrapment. It’s like those times when I got to the register with one pint of Haagen-Dazs and the cashier told me they were selling them two for one.

Obviously, I bought it.

Ruger has a new pistol called the Mark IV, but it’s more expensive.

The Victory is an interesting pistol. Smith & Wesson noticed that gun nuts loved the AR-15 because it was modular. You buy a crummy $450 AR, and then you spend $1500 on parts to mix and match. It’s easy to install stuff on an AR. It’s a very popular game, and there was no .22 pistol out there that worked the same way. Smith & Wesson decided to create one.

Even before the gun was manufactured, they went to another company and told them they should make barrels for the Victory. The factory barrel comes off very easily, so you can rebarrel whenever you feel like it. There are also a lot of grips for the gun. There are a bunch of other parts, but I don’t know what they are.

The Victory has a target rear sight when you get it, but in the box with it, you get a Picatinny rail. You can pop the sight off, install the rail, and attach a scope. Neat.

The gun comes with nice fiber optic sights. Bright and conspicuous.

Another nice thing about the Victory is that you can strip it in a few seconds with a hex wrench and a punch. They designed it to compete with the Ruger Mark III, which is so hard to strip, many people end up taking it to a gunsmith for reassembly. Ruger supposedly fixed that with the Mark IV. Guess they knew it was time.

I like the gun a lot. I’m not crazy about the Lost in Space looks, but it’s not ugly. The trigger is great, and it has an adjustable stop. It’s heavy because of the thick barrel, but it’s not unpleasant to shoot.

I kind of wish they made a sporty barrel I could buy cheap. I don’t need a bull barrel to off squirrels. It would be nice to take the heavy barrel off and put a light one on when I’m hunting. You can get a carbon fiber barrel for it, but it’s about as expensive as the gun itself. Maybe someone will fill the need eventually.

I tried it out today. I’ll post a photo of the target.

I shot at 7 yards. When I first started, I was not knocking myself out to get accuracy. I put 30 Remington Golden Bullets in the general vicinity of the center of the target. Then I shot two 10-round groups aiming above and below the center. I used CCI Stingers for that.

The top group is the last one.

The most surprising thing I noticed was that the wind affected my accuracy. The wind was coming from behind me at a pretty good clip, and it pushed me around enough to make the sight picture move.

A lot of people say Golden Bullets are garbage. I don’t know. I figured they would have to be good enough to work at 7 yards. I guess I could rest the gun and see how they shoot.

When I shot the last two groups, I was working harder, and I noticed I was having issues due to lack of practice. I was trying to flinch sometimes, and my grip was not consistent. Toward the end, I was having trouble getting a good sight picture. The sun was fading.

I’m going to try again later this week. I suppose I should make a real effort to evaluate the ammunition so I can eliminate whichever brand is least accurate. I don’t want to improve and then find myself trying to fix problems which are actually caused by the ammunition. That would be frustrating.

It’s neat to have a practice pistol. I’m sure this will fix my accuracy problems. The lack of recoil and light trigger pull will be easy on my hands, so I won’t end up shaking after 150 rounds. I’ll be able to practice longer without having problems caused by fatigue.

In other news, I am trying to find out whether I really have a bear. I checked a bear population map on the web, and supposedly, bears are not just common but “abundant” in my part of the county. There are a bunch of poops by my goat shed, and they look way too new to be from last year when the steers were here.

Hope you like photos of bear poo.

I put my game camera by the shed, aimed at the poop area, and I emptied a quart bag of marshmallows on the ground. Someone on the web said they were great coon bait, and I figure a bear is a lot like a coon. They eat everything.

It’s illegal to hunt bears in Florida. The hippies and yankees killed the 2017 and 2018 seasons. Scientists confirmed we had plenty of bears to hunt, but the urban granola committee threw tantrums, and for some insane reason, the wildlife commission listened.

This isn’t fair. Normal people in rural areas aren’t trying to get the government to tell urbanites what to do. We’re not calling for bans on women’s underwear on men at raves. Why don’t they mind their own business?

There’s a loophole, though. If I can prove a bear is a nuisance, I can shoot him. I have to prove he’s “annoying.” I’ve figured out how to do this. I’m going to steal a satchel full of literature from a wandering Jehovah’s Witness, and after I shoot the bear, I’m going to chain him to the golf cart, drag him to the front door and plant the satchel on him. I’ll even put a little necktie on him. Then I’ll shoot some photos.

What’s more “annoying” than a visit from the JW’s on a Saturday afternoon?

If this doesn’t work, I’ll plant a banjo on him. The danger with this approach is that people may swarm my property before I skin him and shoot his dead carcass and beat it with their fists.

If all else fails, I’ll shoot him and plant a gun on him. It works for the cops.

We have a lot of bears here. I was surprised to look at the numbers. The government thinks there are almost 5000 of them in the state. Tennessee, which seems like a better place for bears to live, only has around 6000. South Carolina checks in at 1200. North Carolina and Virginia do a lot better, with 20,000 and 17,000. In North Carolina, you can shoot one bear per year.

I know what I should do. I’ll put the bear in my truck and get him drunk. Then I’ll drive him to North Carolina, roll him out, and plug him.

If I get better with the pistol, I’ll post photos. If I don’t, I’ll pretend I forgot.