Fast Food, Transformed

December 4th, 2016

Let Ronald do the Work

I have decided there is such a thing as food being too good. You don’t actually need to levitate every time you have dinner. Food that’s too good will tempt you constantly. It will be hard to leave alone. You’ll eat more than you should.

That being said, I have a great tip for people who love McDonald’s breakfast food.

I saved some gravy from Thanksgiving. Today before I made my weekly trip to Mickey D’s, I heated the gravy up. When I came home, I did something I’ve been wanting to do for a long time. I dipped Mickey D’s biscuits in gravy while I ate.

This is probably the worst thing you can eat, short of pure nuclear waste. But it was phenomenal. I give credit where credit is due; Mickey D’s makes excellent biscuits. Add gravy, and you have something truly wonderful.

I don’t plan to do this again, because it’s way fattening, but it was a great experience.

If you don’t know how to make gravy, I can help you out.


1 cup whole milk
2 tbsp. grease
1 tbsp. flour
1 tsp. pepper
1/4 tsp. sage
dash of dry white wine
salt to taste

You will want a couple of tablespoons of grease from a Thanksgiving turkey or breakfast sausage or bacon. Something like that. If you use sausage, forget the sage. The white wine is optional.

Get your grease hot (about 4 out of 10 on a digital stove). Fry one level tablespoon of flour in it. You don’t need to burn it. Just get the raw taste out of it. Stir it and smoosh it with a spatula while you fry it.

Add the milk and seasonings. Keep stirring until the gravy bubbles. It will thicken. Add a small amount of wine and cook the gravy until the consistency looks good. Remove it from the pan immediately.

That’s all you need to know. If you like it thinner, use less flour.

This should be more than enough gravy for two people who aren’t trying to kill themselves.


3 Responses to “Fast Food, Transformed”

  1. Nick Says:

    I have a soft spot (no pun intended) for the most unhealthy of food at least once a week. I think that’s why I loved the old recipes you would post. They made me gain weight and happiness, so it’s not all that bad, right?

  2. Heather P. Says:

    You did know that those biscuits are available in the freezer section of your grocery didn’t you? Look for Pillsbury. The small blue bag has smaller biscuits, but if you look for a white tray/box covered with a clear plastic bag, that’s them. You may want to look at your local Wal-Mart Super Center.

  3. Steve H. Says:

    The only Pillsbury biscuits I ever had tasted like roasted toothpaste. Are you saying there is a frozen biscuit that tastes like McDonald’s?