God Sets the Solitary in Families
October 28th, 2015Creepy Pastors do the Opposite
Today I had another remarkable revelation concerning the last two churches I belonged to. They are ruining people’s relationships in a manner not unlike the damage done by the Nazis and by Americans who owned slaves.
I don’t know why I didn’t see this sooner. I suppose I didn’t care enough about being rejected to think about it.
After World War Two, many people found themselves isolated from family and friends. The Nazis tore relationships apart. It’s obvious that they murdered people, but there was more to it than that. They destroyed neighborhoods so people had to leave as refugees. They imprisoned people and moved them around. When the war was over, the Nazi infrastructure was gone, and there was no one capable of determining where people were.
Many people got back together shortly after the war. Others stayed apart for years. Some never found each other again. Slaveholders also tore families apart, and many were never restored.
I’ve known for a long time that Rich Wilkerson and the crew at Trinity Church discouraged people from talking to those who leave the church. A friend told me she had been sat down for “the conversation.” I know there were secret meetings about me. Big deal. I’m not the kind of person who suffers a lot when people drop me.
I knew about Trinity, but it was only recently that people started telling me that the pastors at New Dawn discourage people from communicating from people who leave.
If what I’m told is correct, they’re not always relatively subtle about it, as in the recent situation where a pastor preached about people like me without using my name. I am told they mentioned people by name and told others to shun them.
Here’s the interesting part: these things are generally done in secret, because many church pastors are gutless and sneaky. The problem with that is that the people who are shunned don’t know what’s going on. They don’t know the pastors are behind it. They may assume their friends don’t want to be around them.
They can’t take away true friends who are close to you, because you will communicate with those people in spite of the pastors. But they can cut you off from people who had the potential to become friends.
They can also cause people who leave to cut off the people who stay. When you leave, you may assume the pastors have turned everyone against you, so you may stop maintaining relationships.
So now I wonder: how many ruined relationships are these people responsible for?
This is really something. Many people are very dependent on their churches for help and comfort. I’m not one of those people, but not everyone is like me. What happens when such people lose their church circles?
It’s not a small problem. Even a little church can interfere with dozens or hundreds of friendships.
Thinking about this, I realize how important it is to expose this nonsense. It has to be exposed because its power comes from the fact that it was done in secret. I feel like someone should start a Facebook group or website for victims, so they can come in and announce their feelings toward people and possibly reclaim them.
I’m so mad right now. How can anyone do something this vile and cowardly and pretend to be a man or woman of God? It’s all done from a desire to get money and/or power. It’s dishonest, because it’s secretive. It’s cruel. And what benefit does it bring? Spoiled idiots with delusions of grandeur get to preserve their little empires and avoid honest work. People who would otherwise have very limited access to wealth and power–people who would be doing blue-collar jobs–get to ride around in German cars and go on expensive vacations. That’s about it.
I don’t know what to do, except for talking about it openly so that people’s eyes will be opened.
October 28th, 2015 at 10:18 PM
The one lasting thing that American slaveholders did is to change the names of their slaves. More than that, they totally stripped their slaves of their various cultures. So, unlike voluntary immigrants to the USA, black slaves were not able to hold onto the cultural totems which fit with the USA and discard those which did not. None were able to keep the bare minimum of their cultures–their names. (I may be more sensitive to this because I’m one of the few descendants of American slaves who has an African surname and that’s because my mother married a Kenyan.)
I’ve seen non-blacks ask which part of slavery effects today’s black Americans and it’s right there in front of us. And none of it has been restored.
I don’t know whether anything can or should be done about this, but I think it has had a bad effect on the black American psyche. Perhaps the only thing to do is to acknowledge it and move on.
October 29th, 2015 at 1:57 PM
I read something interesting the other day. I don’t know if it’s true, because Internet.
It said a lot of black Americans have Irish last names because their ancestors married Irish slaves.
Not really related to crazy pastors, but news to me if it’s true.
October 29th, 2015 at 1:58 PM
It’s kind of sad that black Americans who want to be more African choose Muslim names, given what Muslims did (and still do) to Africans.
October 30th, 2015 at 11:52 AM
Steve, you’re absolutely right to be angry. I hope you can do something constructive and helpful that will soothe your mind – after counting to ten!
October 30th, 2015 at 2:41 PM
One of the reasons the Bible talks about a remnant in the end. It sure isn’t a majority that is remaining faithful to His calling.
Isaiah 4
But probably two of the scariest things uttered by Christ in Bible–absolutely horrifying if you really stop to think of it and its ramifications is:
Matthew 7:21-23
Revelation 3:14-22
The “greasy grace” crowd has a really hard time trying to explain those two statements. Throw in Hebrews 12:28,29 and people will go all apoplectic and accuse you of legalism and lacking in grace. You’re being negative and a hater.
The Body of Christ is so screwed up today, it’s only going to be a remnant who will make any sense of these times and take full advantage of what God really wants to do with them.
1 Corinthians 9:26,27, baby, 1 Corinthians 9:26,27
November 2nd, 2015 at 8:42 PM
I remember leaving a church where I was a deacon, but had crossed the pastor by pointing out a doctrinal error I felt he had inadvertently spoken from the pulpit.
I ran his national tape ministry.
He lambasted me and I left.
I had never seen anyone shunned, but I felt it was happenning to me.
Another deacon showed up at my house one day to fellowship.
He told me what was going on.
He said he didn’t care, wasn’t gonna stop him.
He’s a pastor in a house church now.
Good man.
Smile. It happens to the best of us 🙂
November 3rd, 2015 at 12:03 PM
It’s really something, Ed. The contrast between the size of people’s egos and the size of their accomplishments is often startling.
I guess people will think I’m saying they’re as bad as the Nazis. No, of course not. I’m saying they’re doing something the Nazis did. They’re breaking up other people’s relationships.
November 3rd, 2015 at 6:01 PM
I haven’t been in a church for a long time, so maybe this is just plain ignorance; but how can a pastor actually tell you not to associate with someone else? Don’t most people immediately look askance at such suggestions?
If someone told me to shun someone else that I know, I would think less of that person doing the asking. It’s a red flag. What are they afraid of me hearing?
November 3rd, 2015 at 6:14 PM
The only answer I can give is that people become conditioned to trust pastors, so they don’t have much capacity to fight pastors who begin taking advantage of them. It takes a while to make the adjustment once you realize you’re dealing with a wolf and not a friend.
November 4th, 2015 at 6:03 AM
One had a pastor tell me that it was a sin to change churches unless you were moving. We left anyway.