Almost Literally

Last night I had a real “wax on, wax off” moment.

Ancient individuals who, like me, were formed from the Permian mud, will recall that there was another Karate Kid movie, made back in 1984. The clever old Asian character was Japanese, and his name was Mr. Miyagi. When his student, Ralph Macchio, showed up for training, Miyagi made him wax his cars, sand his deck, and paint his fence. Ralph figured Miyagi was going to get his house fixed up for nothing, teach him no skills, and let him be beaten to a paste at the tournament.

Ralph got fed up and said he was quitting. Miyagi made him demonstrate the movements he had learned while fixing the house, and it turned out they were useful in karate. So he had improved more than he thought. And fortunately, the screenwriter helped him, too, seeing to it that he pummeled several bigger kids who had been taking actual lessons for ten years.

Then Ralph went on to a supporting role in “My Cousin Vinnie,” after which, Marisa Tomei got an Oscar, proving that not all competitions come out the way they should. I don’t know if Martin Kove coached the actresses who lost.

Anyway, I was in prayer last night, and I was feeling discouraged, but then I thought about the stuff I was praying for, and I thought of the way my attitude and behavior had changed over the last few years, and I realized I had made great progress. I am still not quite perfect (wonderful though I am) but things have changed a lot. I have very powerful faith. I get into God’s presence every day. I know much more about God than I used to. The Holy Spirit has taught me and changed me. My goals are different. My desires are different. If perfection is 100%, I would give myself a good solid D.

That’s a big step forward.

I am improving in most ways, but I am losing patience with misguided teachers. I’m not sure that’s a bad thing. Sometimes anger is the right response.

I’m very tired of people who talk about money all the time. You know what? Trusting God with your money is only a small part of Christianity. And he will not honor you if you give your money to a fool who preaches nonsense and lives in rebellion. Maybe God will return the cash to you if you acknowledge your mistake and ask for another chance. I don’t see why not. But I don’t think he’s going to give you “a hundredfold return” on the Social Security checks you’ve been endorsing over to Benny Hinn. Not unless the Holy Spirit told you to do it.

Once again, I have to ask: if these guys are so keen on giving, why don’t they talk about giving to OTHER HUMAN BEINGS? Seriously, does every megachurch need its own airstrip, while people in Africa are starving for food as well as God? Could we maybe have a ten-story church instead of a twelve-story church, if it means helping more people? Do we have to be ostentatious and tacky every single minute of our lives?

The Bible mentions charity and generosity over and over. In comparison, the obligation to give tithes and offerings gets little play. The Bible says God will ignore our cries if we ignore the cries of the poor. When was the last time a charismatic preacher mentioned that? I can’t recall hearing it a single time, but I can’t even guess at the number of times I’ve heard “pressed down, shaken together and running over.”

“Oh, but the megachurches have charity programs.” Please. They won’t even open their books. Generally, we have no idea what percentage of their money goes to the poor. Real charities have open books and annual reports. Why shove your money down a blind rathole, when you could be giving to an above-board outfit like World Relief or the International Fellowship of Christians and Jews? Seriously, do you want your money to pay for new Pirellis on a preacher’s Benz, or would you like to lift someone out of a refugee camp in Ethiopia PERMANENTLY and move them Israel, in fulfillment of prophecy?

Aside from that, the more you walk with God, the more opportunities he will give you to do good on a personal level. You will meet people who have sudden financial needs. You will meet people who need prayer. Someone will need the old laptop you put in your closet. Someone will need a pair of shoes. You won’t always have to look for an organization to distribute your money for you.

I am angry because I know a little bit about God’s goodness, and churches are preventing other people from getting what I have. God is wonderful. He’s warm. He’s reassuring. He’s generous. He’s invincible in dealing with your enemies. He wants to give you peace and success. He wants to spend time with you when you’re all alone, not just in church. He will do great things for you, BUT ONLY IF YOU COME TO HIM HIS WAY. You’re not going to get there by transferring your parents’ estate to some greedy character who thinks God wants him and his current wife to have matching Bentleys parked in front of all their homes. The garbage they preach has almost nothing to do with meeting God or being transformed by him.

Many preachers won’t talk like this. They’ll be ostracized. They won’t be asked to go on TBN. They won’t get filthy rich. They might offend other preachers. What does it add up to? They’re gutless and greedy. Two great characteristics to combine in a man of God.

Sometimes you have to offend man in order to please God. It’s wrong to offend people without justification, but sometimes it has to be done. And the world will not reward you for it. Carnal Christians won’t, either. They’ll buy the nails and the wood for the cross. They’re so thrilled to be told they can be just like ungodly people–that they can live like ungodly people and be accepted–that it infuriates and threatens them when anyone bursts their bubble. Nobody likes a spanking.

I don’t know what’s going to happen. I pray for God to wake the church up and cleanse it, and I know he will, but will he be able to do it on a big enough scale to make the church his? Probably not. God always ends up with a remnant, not the whole enchilada. He gets Gideon’s tiny troop of left-handed men. He gets 120 disciples praying in the Upper Room. He gets David’s cave army, or the Jewish minority that left Egypt under Moses. He gets 144,000 Jews in the last days. That’s not going to change. Not unless Biblical patterns have lost their predictive validity.

Sooner or later I will fall out of favor with the TBN/megachurch/seeker-sensitive movement. I’m a nobody, so no one notices me (or reads this blog), but if the enemy sees me as a threat, he will eventually alert his troops. I’m glad I haven’t been embraced and promoted. It would be hard to give that up. You have to live in a tabernacle, not a building of stone. You have to be ready to move at a moment’s notice. You have to eat the matzah standing up, and you have to rebuild the temple with a weapon in one hand. Fortunately, I have nothing to lose. I do things for ministries. They do almost nothing for me. They have nothing to hold over my head if I leave.

These days I pray for direction. I am not pleased with the direction my church is taking, and I really miss sitting in services and being bowled over by God’s presence and wisdom, so I would like to move on. On the other hand, I am very attached to some of the people there, and we are definitely succeeding in introducing believers to the Holy Spirit. Maybe this has to be a time of giving and not receiving, at least with regard to my relations with human beings. I just don’t want to get weary. Every so often, you have to feed the ox that treads out the grain. I am not a person of great character, so I can’t run on empty all the time. Once in a while, I need a return on my investment.

Last night I got a little reinforcement. I will get by on that until I reach the next oasis.