You Can’t Pick God’s Locks

Years ago–almost 25–I decided I had to find a church. And then I got sick. I got something like a severe cold, but unlike a cold, it lasted for weeks. I could not get rid of it.

At that time, I was listening to people I no longer trust. Kenneth Copeland is an example. He said that if you wanted a miracle, you had to “confess” (say) that it was done, and keep confessing it until you saw the result.

I prayed about the cold and confessed that it was gone and so forth.

One day I was in my dad’s house, and my parents were in the dining room. I went into the kitchen and looked into the freezer. While I was doing this, a dark shape left my body. It was just a dark place in the air, with no borders around it. It was transparent. It flew into the freezer, turned around, and flew out threw the back door of the house. I was instantly healed of the cold. I went into the dining room and told my parents. My mother was amazed. I don’t recall my dad’s reaction, but I’m sure he didn’t react positively.

Over the years, my dad forgot about this. When I reminded him, he said he didn’t remember. That is truly sad, because it was a bona fide miracle. Not something you would want to waste.

I still don’t trust or like Kenneth Copeland. He seems like a nasty person, and he appears to be obsessed with money. Back when I used to watch him, be berated and ridiculed his viewers. He always had a reason why God wasn’t blessing them (as Kenneth Copeland had promised). They weren’t “maintaining their confession.” They were tithing but not personally carrying their tithes into the church. They were holding their pens in the wrong hand when they wrote their checks. The moon was in the wrong phase. God only blesses people when they wear their socks inside out. Whatever. They were always wrong, and he was always up there, telling them this in a disrespectful tone and jabbing his finger at them.

I wonder what percentage of people who sent him money got financial blessings.

I still don’t trust him, but it appears that he was right about holding onto your “confession.” It worked for me.

A week or two, my dad got a cold. I’m always nervous when someone I know gets sick, because I hate getting sick. I hate that feeling you get when you think something may be getting started in your body, and you hope against hope, and you concentrate on the symptoms, trying to convince yourself they’re imaginary or going away.

I prayed for my dad, but I also prayed for myself. Then on Thursday, I started to get sick. It was amazing. I felt like something flew up my nose, almost as though I had inhaled pepper. I felt powerful itching begin, instantly. My nose started running.

I prayed and rebuked and confessed and so on. I prayed in the Spirit. And I could feel this thing weakening when I focused on God. A few hours later, it was gone. I didn’t feel totally normal; I felt like a person who had gotten over a cold. But I had no headache. I had no congestion. My energy was great. Food tasted normal. I was fine.

The great thing about this is that it was so similar to the thing that happened to me in 1987. I got to tell my dad I was healed, AGAIN. And he was still sick! That’s hard to beat. Surely that made an impression.

This doesn’t have much to do with what I intended to write. Mainly it serves to show that I have good reason to believe in God. I have had supernatural experiences. I have seen spirits. The result of this is that I can’t instantly discard what pastors and teachers tell me about God and his blessings. I have heard some kooky things that turned out to be true, so when I hesitate to reject odd claims from pastors, it’s not just that I’m gullible. My history colors my decisions.

Lately I’ve been going through an evaluation procedure regarding “the seven blessings of Passover.” This comes from a guy named Steve Munsey; he pastors a megachurch and pals around with Benny Hinn. If I don’t like Kenneth Copeland, you can probably guess how I feel about Benny Hinn. And I’ve seen Munsey preach. He seems like a nice guy, but as a preacher, he did not make a good impression on me. Critics call him a fundraiser, and if you’ve seen him at work, it’s easy to understand their reaction.

I’ve seen Munsey brag that R. Kelly and Beyonce have been to his church. R. Kelly is a notorious pervert and hardly a role model, and Beyonce made a video where she opened her legs and waved her genitals at the camera, so it bugs me to see a pastor honor her. Could God be in it? I can’t tell you what’s on God’s mind, but it would be very strange for him to use people this carnal to promote his kingdom.

I should preface this by saying that Munsey’s ideas seem connected to a concept taught by Larry Huch, who says God opens windows in heaven. You’ve probably seen this in Malachi. Huch loves to talk about our Judaic roots, and he tells people to wear prayer shawls. He claims there are certain seasons when God is closer to us and does more for us. These are windows, like NASA launch windows. The Passover season is such a window.

Another preacher–Renny McLean–teaches about “portals.” He says there are places where God sort of touches the earth. Some people say the Temple Mount is such a place. McLean says Moses was at a portal when he stood at the edge of the Red Sea and God parted it. I think I have this right; I may be wrong. McLean seems to believe there are geographic locations where it’s easier to get in touch with God.

I have totally rejected Larry Huch. I bought his book and threw it out. I thought it was ridiculous. I thought it was legalism and Judaizing. Paul said we did not have to become Jews, nor did we have to obey the law or become circumcised. And here Larry Huch is, telling us to observe Passover and wear prayer shawls and so on. I have no doubt that he’s wrong.

McLean, on the other hand, seems much more sincere, so I can’t write him off. He has mentioned the idea of “windows of heaven,” so I ordered some stuff he produced, in order to learn more. Is he pushing the Huch ideas? More importantly, is he affirming what Steve Munsey teaches? If it comes from a source I respect, I have to pay attention.

Munsey says the Jews assembled in Jerusalem on Passover, and every male brought the best possible offering he could bring. In return, God gave that man and his family seven blessings. From Benny Hinn’s site:

Here are the seven blessings of the Passover that Steve taught:

1. God will assign an angel to you.
2. God will be an enemy to your enemies.
3. God will give you prosperity.
4. God will take sickness away from you.
5. God will give you a long life.
6. God will cause increase in your life.
7. God will give a special year’s blessing.

Now, there ARE Torah passages referring to this stuff, but there is no direct connection to Passover. Moreover, I know of no requirement that Jews bring giant offerings to the Temple at Passover. Furthermore, the Temple is gone, and it may not even be lawful to give offerings under the Jewish law, until it’s rebuilt. Finally, Gentiles were never required to keep the Passover. Never.

You can see why I am reluctant to buy into this stuff. It is becoming widely accepted at Spirit-filled churches, but so is a lot of worldly garbage. And the Passover blessing idea is particularly suspicious, because it’s self-serving. If they were telling us to give LESS to the church, I would be inclined to listen, but when someone tells you it’s a good idea to do things that benefit him, you have to suspect bias.

I am very disturbed by the nutty things that are happening in big churches. They’re getting so worldly, you might as well stay home. Pastors used to teach us that it was great to be poor and sick and defeated, and they were wrong. Now, we’re going off in the opposite direction. We know God wants to bless us, so whenever we see a big, rich church, we assume they’re doing everything right. So we become seeker-friendly and greedy.

“Seeker-friendly” means you never criticize your flock, and you use all sorts of worldly tools. If the kids like Eminem, you play Eminem songs. Eminem writes about raping his mother, right? So now the kids “know” that Jesus likes that kind of music. If the kids like R. Kelly, you play R. Kelly. That means it’s okay to have sex with minors and beat a statutory rape charge, as long as you go to church. I think you understand what I’m talking about. In order to avoid “judging” (in spite of Jesus’s command to point out sin in others), you become so friendly and receptive you no longer represent Christ. You imitate the world until you become the world. You lose your saltness and become useless to God.

As for greed, that’s obvious. Solomon was rich, therefore your pastor should have an air-conditioned doghouse, like one of the famous TV preachers of the 80s. Never mind that your contributions come from people who are poor and hurting. God will make them rich, too, right? It’s WRONG not to take their money, because you’re blocking the blessing! The only problem is that they tend to die poor, because the prosperity gospel, as currently taught by many preachers, does not work.

God blesses some tithers and givers; no doubt about it. But what about the people who give and go broke? Maybe God didn’t want them to buy a giant church with TV cameras. Maybe he wanted them to feed the poor or sponsor missionaries or send poor Jews to Israel.

If you give money to a crooked preacher, what exactly do you expect God to do about it? Should be bless you with a huge return, just because you thought you were doing the right thing? God doesn’t bless people just for having good intentions. He blesses people for having HIS intentions. Saul thought he was doing right when he took over for the priests, but God took away his kingdom and cursed his line for it. God killed two priests for bringing strange fire to the altar, in his service. God has a long history of refusing to bless people who do “good” things he didn’t ask them to do. He will let you die poor if you screw up your giving. I’m sure of it.

We keep saying “GIVE GIVE GIVE” and “BLESSINGS BLESSINGS BLESSINGS” and “LOVE LOVE LOVE,” but we are filling people’s minds with useless mush and failing to provide them with knowledge that will give them power. The Bible says God’s people perish for lack of knowledge, and we’re so obsessed with attendance and conversions, we are letting people starve for the knowledge that will save them and their families.

Yesterday a smart, committed, serious young man called me. He started asking about things involving the occult. Was it okay to be a Mason (it is not)? Was it okay to use a Ouija board (it is not)?

I was shocked. This is a guy who should understand what holiness is all about. He should know that you can’t kneel down and swear oaths, the way Masons do. You can’t involve yourself with any type of occultism or fortune-telling. If you do these things, you might as well worship Satan. It’s no different to God.

If no one is teaching him and the other young people these important things, what exactly ARE they teaching them? What do youth ministries do? For that matter, what do adult ministries do?

Man has a long history of taking God’s ways and perverting them to serve the flesh. The current obsession with seeker-friendliness and worldly success is just another manifestation of this ancient problem. You want money, power, and success, because you’re a selfish, flesh-driven Christian baby? Great! Now the church says you can force God to give you this stuff! Forget about duty. Forget about putting God’s kingdom first. Observe these magic rules, and God will have to do what you want. You don’t have to let him change your desires. You don’t have to crucify the flesh through fasting. Make God your genie!

Incidentally, “genie” is a corruption of the Arabic word “djinn,” which refers to demons and evil spirits.

I’m going to see what Renny McLean has to say, and I have emailed my personal rabbi about the “seven blessings,” but I think I already know what I’m going to decide. I think the “seven blessings” idea is a fundraising tool. Sorry to say it, but I would rather tell the truth than please men. As anyone who knows me can tell you.

All that being said, I do believe God responds to giving. Proverbs tells us we will not lack, if we give to the poor. The Psalms tell us we will give and be blessed, while the wicked borrow and don’t repay. They say the givers will possess the land, which probably refers to God’s kingdom under the new covenant. The Psalms also tell us that if we consider the poor, God will 1) bless us HERE ON EARTH, 2) strengthen us when we are sick, 3) deliver us from trouble, and 4) not allow our enemies to defeat us. Proverbs says that when we give to the poor, we lend to the Lord, and he WILL repay.

The Bible told the Jews they had to support the Temple, and it says God blessed them for it, but most of the material about giving is about people in need. Jesus himself told a rich man to sell what he had and give it to the poor; he didn’t say, “Give me a big ol’ SEED GIFT so I can have six TV cameras instead of three.” I can’t think of a single example of Jesus telling people to give to his ministry.

I think the dollar is going to dry up and become worthless, and it concerns me. I wish I had taken my own advice and bought a lot of silver. It has doubled in value this year. I can’t see anything I want to invest in, except maybe land. The only answer I know of is God’s advice on giving to the poor. My money may not be safe in the bank, but if I give to the poor, and God promises to repay, surely I’m prepared.

I hope I manage to please God well enough to get the blessing of the 37th Psalm, which says I will not be ashamed in the evil time, and in the day of famine, I will be satisfied. I really don’t want to end up wandering in the dust, wondering who will help me put a roof over my head.

I pray for God to purge the ranks of useless and corrupt preachers. True knowledge of God’s will and his ways is a must. In the hard times ahead, Americans will need God more than ever. We need to be sure we’re pushing the right buttons.