Tick Tock Tick Tock
April 13th, 2011Feminism = Recipe for Celibacy, Cats & Ice Cream
Today I caught a few minutes of He’s Just Not That Into You while I was eating lunch. MAN, is that movie on target. There is nothing sadder than a career girlfriend a few years away from menopause. If you’re over 35, you’ve never married, and you still get introduced as a girlfriend, you need to wake up. Your situation is not healthy. A middle-aged girlfriend is like a thirty-year-old man who rides a skateboard.
One of my college buddies lived with a girl until she was 38, and then I noticed she wasn’t around any more. I asked what had happened, and he said, “I MADE her LEAVE.” This is not a rare scenario. Men will let you waste your youth on them, especially if you’re on your best behavior because your life is a perpetual audition for marriage.
I actually laughed when he said he made his girlfriend leave, because she was annoying. I was an idiot. He helped her ruin her life. That’s not funny.
After that, he dated a stunning young Asian girl from a rich family. He was ecstatic. For all I know, he married her. I have a feeling his ex did not go on to date a stunning alpha male.
The other day I was talking to a friend from church, and I said I knew a lady I thought had potential, but she was so much younger than I, I felt it was inappropriate to do anything about it. Then he reminded me that if you expect to have kids, you pretty much have to get the woman started by the time she’s thirty. After that, things get much harder. So while I still feel that dating someone that young is a dubious idea, I now realize that a woman who doesn’t start husband-hunting when she’s twenty is taking a big chance.
As usual, the oldest wisdom is right, and the young punks are wrong.
Another thing the movie makes clear: if a man doesn’t want you today, he almost certainly never will. I’ve known women who thought I would come around if they refused to go away. It doesn’t work. Most of the time, you know instantly whether you could ever force yourself to have a romantic relationship with a woman. Sometimes it takes a month or two to figure it out. But once you know, you know. It won’t help if she loses weight. It won’t help if she does nice things for you. If she increases the amount of time she spends with you, it will probably make you take her for granted, and it may just creep you out. She should move on! The Bible says God pairs people up, and if that’s true, you’re slowing things down by trying to force a match.
Now I have to go outside and put another coat of paint on the screen for my tube amp head.
April 13th, 2011 at 8:18 PM
Yes. God blessed me with my wife after a few false starts. Makes me want to turn cartwheels, even in light of the stupid stiff I and she still do.
April 13th, 2011 at 11:40 PM
Yep. Found it out the hard way.
April 14th, 2011 at 7:48 AM
1. May/September is the norm in a lot of civilized locations.
2. There, you marry when you can afford to maintain a household.
3. Was in a hazardous profession and did not marry or entertain any sort of serious relationship for most of my life.
4. Apart from the obvious, 115 hour weeks and frequent departures on no notice produced a divorce rate above 80%.
5. Had other ways to foolishly spend my pay.
6. Was waylaid, led in cuffs and shackles to the alter by a very much younger woman of my dreams.
7. Incomprehensibly, she had decided I was the ideal mate.
8. From not caring in the least about a household or progeny, have become enthusiastic about wife and family -if not caring much about the other domestic details.
9. Has worked well. My children get angry when referred to as grand children.
10. The down side will come in a few years when I am staring at a wall, drooling and wife is middle aged.
11. That will be her problem.
12. There are two parties involved in this arrangement in our society (not true a lot of places). Any suitable female will be evaluating your worthiness on a pretty pragmatic basis.
13. If everything else is a go, don’t let age disparity stop you.
14. Good luck.
V/R JWest
April 14th, 2011 at 9:28 AM
Steve, one of the happiest Christian couples I know have a more than 20 year age difference, 4 children and multiple grandchildren.
Maybe God wants you to be fruitful and multiply, so he’s steering a suitable candidate your way.
April 14th, 2011 at 12:01 PM
So glad I left my ex when I was still in my 20’s. So glad I wised up before it was too late.
PHEW.
April 14th, 2011 at 8:18 PM
I thank G-d daily for introducing me to my wife when I was 20. Given that my parents, all my aunts and uncles and all my grandparents had divorced, at least once, I probably wouldn’t have been blamed for giving up on the institution.
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I hope to celebrate my 25th anniversary (after much hard work) this fall.
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In my Orthodox Jewish community, the girls don’t “date” at all. Once they feel they’re old enough, they let their parents know and then the networking begins and is more serious than a corporation employing headhunters to run the business for a few years, maybe a decade. This is more akin to trying to find a CEO who will fit the part for 4 or 5 decades. Allowing pagan deities Eros and Cupid to be matchmakers is insane.
April 15th, 2011 at 10:22 AM
For Crying out Pete! Haven’t been here in months and first thing I read is derogatory skateboard propaganda!? For Shame! I am 40 and still roll! Walking is for suckers! Of Course, i am not trying to be Tony Hawk or anything, for me it is more transportation than recreation. Just around the ‘hood and stuff. Starbucks is Downhill! LOL
My wife and I met @ 32. I should have married her right then. But after so many years as a bachelor I was a real pussy about it. It took me 4 years to do it. 4 years later we had a beautiful, healthy baby boy! She was 40. I don’t mean to blow your hypothesis up, I guess I have always been outside the norm. When the right person comes along and you can really feel it. Don’t fight it. It’s Bliss
April 16th, 2011 at 5:11 AM
There’s this crazy hippiy guy named Kary Mullis that did his undergrad and masters work at Georgia Tech and got his PHd in Molecular Biology from U Cal Berkley.
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He won the Nobel Prize in Chemistry in 1993.
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Upon winning the recognition he wrote an article which was published in the GT alumni magazine containing a statement which I believe to this day to be true.
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While Kary’s life and lifestyle is not a model for Christians, he made the observation in that article that “women do not reach their prime and become suitable for marrage until they are 10,000 days old.”
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Thats somewhere around 27 years and 4 and 1/2 months doing the math.
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I, unfortunately, let a couple of good ones (women) about that age get away over the past 51 years in the process of stumbling through my life but fortunatly I’ve found an excellent woman 11 years my senior that seems to be a good fit for the past ten years.
(Even though I carry a name three generations old…I’m the III…I never had any kids of my own however. Today I have an “adopted” family of three grown children and six excellent grandchildren.)