I am Nice to the Little People

Yesterday I went to a men’s breakfast at church. I really enjoyed it. There were about 160 men there. We had a good breakfast, and then we heard from an interesting speaker.

This guy was a shortish black man with a thick island accent. He was introduced as a local pastor. I thought maybe I should donate a few bucks to whatever he was doing. Given the nature of the area and his humble appearance, I figured he was running a low-budget operation out of his apartment.

He started talking about his background. He said he ran a church and three businesses. “That’s nice,” I thought, “he has some subchapter S deals going on, which he also runs from his apartment.” Then he said he testified frequently as an expert in bankruptcy court, and that one of his businesses had offices in London, and that he had eleven appliance stores. And he writes all sorts of expert commentary on asset-based lending, and he pals around with big-time CEOs, and in December, he is flying out to California, to baptize a corporate bigwig and his wife in the Pacific Ocean.

Guess he didn’t need my five bucks after all.

He said people ask him how he has time for ministry, when he does all these things. He said his ministry is in the marketplace. He goes after people he comes across while doing business.

He provided five rules he follows.

1. Don’t cart a Bible around. It turns people off, and you don’t need it to bring people to God.

I think that’s true. It’s pretty tough to pick through a Bible and use it to prove God exists. A testimony is easier and more convincing.

2. Be the best you can be at work, even if you hate your job.

3. Smile and have a pleasant demeanor. I guess you can’t win people over if you’re sullen and obnoxious.

4. Control the conversation. Consider the authority you have behind you.

5. Know how to lead people to Christ, and close the deal.

He cited Nehemiah, who was a cup-bearer for Artaxerxes, the king of Persia. Though he was a slave, Nehemiah did his job well and cheerfully, and on the one day he appeared unhappy, the king noticed and asked what was wrong. Nehemiah explained that Jerusalem was in ruins, and that he wanted to rebuild it. Artaxerxes commissioned the rebuilding of the city walls, and he sent Nehemiah to be governor of the region.

I don’t know if Artaxerxes came to believe in God, but he certainly did a lot for God’s people.

At the end of the breakfast, someone came and prayed the 91st psalm over the pastor (mine, not the guy who spoke), and I was freaked out for the thousandth time this year. That’s the psalm I’m memorizing this week.

I met a guy who was jailed three times for drug addiction. That’s how he put it, although I don’t know if it’s accurate. I assume he must have been dealing, in order to get himself imprisoned three times. He was jailed in Texas. Evidently, it wasn’t very pleasant. He talked about the spartan life he led. They timed the showers and gave everyone lye soap, and he said he had soaped himself up and failed to rinse in the allotted time, so he had to spend the next two days in a 115° cell with lye soap on his skin.

He said he had been delivered instantly from his cocaine addiction. Now he has his own ministry, and he sends newsletters back to the men he was in jail with.

I got the pastor to bless my truck. It still has a little olive-oil cross on the grille.

Today I’m going to drive up and help with the dismantling of a set or something. Not sure. Whatever it is, I’m sure I can be of some use.

The pastor proclaimed a fast for today. It’s not a terribly hard fast. Liquids only, from 6 p.m Saturday until 6 p.m. tonight. I’ll bet he inadvertently sold a lot of milkshakes when he came up with that. It’s our way of acknowledging Yom Kippur. We’re a day early, but work with us, okay?

I hope we don’t have to work outside today. I’m almost positive September has been hotter than August.