Slow Truck From China

July 28th, 2009

No Signs of Relief

My milling machine is now 87 minutes late.

While I sit here, I try to pass the time wisely. By surfing the web and occasionally looking out at the street to see if I failed to notice a giant tractor trailer in the front yard. I dropped by a weather site, and it reminded me of a cheerful fact: Global Warming is failing us yet again.

It’s nearly August, and we haven’t even had a tropical storm. I shouldn’t say anything, because gloating seems to steer hurricanes in my direction, but I can’t help being amused.

The midpoint of the season, from the standpoint of storm frequency, is September 10. If nothing happens by that date, the overwhelming likelihood is that very little will happen for the rest of the year. This will be very hard on the yammering climate hippies. They have struck out for three years running.

And again, I remind everyone: polar bears do not really drown. They are practically giant otters. Go to the zoo and see what polar bears do all day. It’s called “swimming.” Hello? Earth to hippies.

I don’t know why the hurricanes dried up. Maybe the government put Ward Brewer in a lead-lined bunker, where his hurricane-attracting powers are stifled.

I have been very bad today. I ate a Fat Boy brand ice cream sandwich for lunch. But I made up for it by cutting out a fattening and totally unwarranted tuna salad sandwich.

Where is that truck? Maybe a polar bear fell on it.

6 Responses to “Slow Truck From China”

  1. Dan from Madison Says:

    We have had one of the coolest summers on record this year here in the Upper Midwest, and it is killing us HVAC guys – some are starting to call it the summer that never was. Global cooling again…

  2. Ed Bonderenka Says:

    Was it Drudge that reported 3000 occurrences of record low temps this year? I’m not sure whether they were all in one spot (heh) but I saw some headline like that.
    Dan, sounds like the way a mild winter hits the auto body guys.

  3. Firehand Says:

    And yet PBS in ‘Nature’ keeps pushing “The ice caps are melting and the polar bears are disappearing!” crap. And World Wildlife Fund is running “Do you want to save the poor polar bears from starving and drowning? Send us money!” commercials. Never mind the actual bear experts who say “The bears are doing great!”, they don’t count.

    As I recall, WWF is the same group that commissioned a study in the late 60’s-early 70’s on leopard populations in Africa, so they’d have an official study to prove how endangered they were so send us money and ban hunting. The study came back saying sub-Saharan Africa was lousy with the cats, and they buried the study and pushed their agenda anyway.

  4. Dan from Madison Says:

    Ed – pretty much.

  5. Freddie Says:

    Ed:

    Shhhhh…. Don’t say that out loud. We’re going to have a normal, nasty winter, where LOTS of folks get into fender benders, y’hear?!

    😉

  6. Heather Says:

    Hey-the our local weather guy said on the 6:00P news last night that unless we had some hot days this week, that would be the coldest July on record here in KY!
    We’ve still had to run the AC like mad though because even without the heat, the humidity is killer!