What to do When You Run Out of Bible
April 27th, 2009The Book of Jasher
Can’t write too much. My dad’s boat is in the yard, and I have to get up and go to the boatyard with him so we can run it back to the marina. It had oysters on the hull when we took it in. Oysters! I can’t convince him bottom paint isn’t permanent.
Mish Weiss is not enjoying radiation treatment, and some of her blood counts are not good. Keep her in your prayers.
Yesterday I read a big chunk of the book of Jasher. This is an old document which is supposedly a sort of companion to the Torah. Some people claim it’s a forgery, but I believe there are references to it in the Bible. After reading it, I have a very hard time believing it’s not genuine. It’s a long book, and it’s loaded with obscure details and “begots” and so on, and it seems very consistent with the style and message of the Bible. It’s not considered part of the canon, however, so I guess you have to be careful with it.
It’s full of fascinating stuff. For example, it describes the “images” Rachel stole from Laban. It says people used to kill firstborn males and preserve their heads, and they put metal tablets with “the name” inscribed on them under the tongues of the heads. Then they consulted the heads and asked them things, and the heads spoke. Creepy, to say the least. It says an image belonging to someone Laban knew (“Can I borrow your severed head for a minute?”) told Laban where Jacob went when he fled.
The Jews have a lot of stories about the power of “the name,” meaning the true name of God. Supposedly a person who knows it can work wonders, not all of them good. The Torah says something about testing an accused adulteress by making her a drink containing the dissolved name of God. If she’s innocent, no problem, but if not, she gets a disgusting disease reminiscent of the worst types of VD. Maybe Aaron will chime in on the subject.
I hate to say this, but it reminds me of the Coca-Cola formula. Supposedly only two people know it, and they’re not allowed to fly together.
Am I the only one who prefers the term “VD” to the more modern “STD”? It’s amazing how we’re rearranging the language to keep morality out of it. In the past, “whores” used to get “the pox” and “the clap.” Now “sex workers” get “STDs.” Calling it something clean-sounding doesn’t make it morally equivalent to an earache.
Prostitution isn’t “sex work.” It’s a degrading, sinful, disgusting, depraved lifestyle that leads to disease, drug addiction, self-hatred, social isolation, and early death. I guess those are “sexually transmitted adverse results.”
Some books that are not universally recognized as scripture seem silly when you read them, and it’s easy to dismiss them as bogus. For example, it’s hard to take the story of Bel and the Dragon seriously. The style doesn’t match the book of Daniel, and the story is a little cartoonish. But so far, the book of Jasher seems convincing.
I better go put my shoes on.
More
A book called Tree of Souls says the name mentioned in the story of the “images” was the name of a foul spirit, not God. In another place it says “spirits,” plural, and that incantations were also written on the object put in the head’s mouth.
April 27th, 2009 at 10:56 AM
“Venereal” is the adjectival form of “Venus,” the Roman goddess of love. The term “VD” – venereal disease – is more poetic, perhaps, but it’s less clear than “STD” – sexually transmitted disease. In fact, VD is an old euphemism, “venery” being a euphemism for sexual activity.
STD doesn’t sound clean. It’s pretty neutral and matter-of-fact. It tells you exactly how one goes about getting the disease.
It is a boring term, though – I’ll give you that. Maybe we ought to start calling these conditions “whoremongeroses.” Or “Dick-Stick Sick.”
April 27th, 2009 at 12:00 PM
A marriage is so sanctified that God allows His name to be erased to preserve the union of husband and wife. The punishment only occurs if the husband is also blameless. The accused adulteress isn’t merely accused. It is a woman who was explicitly warned by her husband not to go into seclusion with another specific man. It is an innocent woman who would demand the procedure to prove her blamelessness.
More details about the procedure (from Numbers 5) on the Orthodox Union website: http://www.ou.org/torah/ti/5764/naso64.htm
There is another story about how, after the Sotah ritual was no longer used, rabbis continued to learn from it:
A use of “the name” was by the mixed multitudes when Aaron was delaying the
April 27th, 2009 at 1:03 PM
The several books of teh Apocypha aren’t bad (if you are of a denomination that doesn’t recognize them as canon).
As we sink into depravity, the idols thing figures to become more prominent.
April 27th, 2009 at 2:27 PM
I need to figure out your css so that your comment paragraphs are 1.5x spaced.
April 27th, 2009 at 3:47 PM
I thought an STD was something you added to your gasoline.
April 28th, 2009 at 5:15 AM
“Venery” and “Venereal” also relate to hunting; “Venereal Disease” is a prettied-up double entendre.